Life in the Driver's Seat

[Seraphim]

Seriously wth. Maintenance in our buildings so they are sending me another 7 kids. I already have 11. But 18 kids in my room and 4 adults. Fack!

 

And someone contacted us for our business at 11 PM last night. Really? 🤬

[Seraphim]

Um it ended up 37 kids in my room. Worst day in there . F work is intolerable. I about lost my ...:: Thank GOD I am on holidays now.

[Seraphim]

Hahah last week R asked me if I remembered my mom when she was young. I said of course I do. And asked if i remember my mom the same age as I am now. And I said of course I do it was the same year our child was born,1997. And he said my dad was the same age I am now in 1981. And I said but honey, your parents are much older than mine. By the time the time you remembered your parents they were in their later 40s . My mom was 20 when I was born . So my first memories of her she was 24 years old . Your first memories of your parents they were probably like 42 or something . Your mom was a “ geriatric Mom.” My Mom got pregnant with me when she was 19.

[Seraphim]

Rip J . S.M

......

[Seraphim]

The song people said about me as a teenager.

[Seraphim]

We just keep getting pounded . Almost ready for a minor crack up here . Today my stepdad was diagnosed with skin cancer which was removed from two places today .

 

I took in my two polydactyls for their vaccines yesterday and I have to give gabapentin to the one to keep him calm . It took him all day to recover from the gabapentin but now he seems to be pretty down and out from the triple vaccines. It sometimes happens I know but I called the vet office again and they told me to keep an eye on him to see if he’s eating and drinking and if he is he will be OK and should recover by tomorrow . If he hasn’t recovered by tomorrow I have to take him back in for maybe an IV.

 

I really want to go see my stepdad because I’m very upset but I also can’t abandon my cat in his state . 😭

[Seraphim]

Ok the 21st my husband gets the medal for the deployment he went on 6 years ago!

[Seraphim]

At present work is gong show. I am going to ask them to tell me truth tomorrow and if they can’t give me hours I am applying for unemployment. I need to work not bulls.... and having to wonder from day to day if I am going to have hours.

[Seraphim]

And....... work got to be a bigger gong show. So they dropped the ball AGAIN surprise surprise 🙄. I am applying for unemployment due to reduced hours.

 

I got a gorgeous dress that was $120 for $35 for R’s honours and awards ceremony.

[Seraphim]

At the Canadian National Exhibition with the loves of my life.

[Seraphim]

It was strangely sad how much the Exhibition has changed in the number of years that I have been going . They no longer have the horses or the horse shows . The number of farm animals is extremely limited . It has a very different feel to it . Maybe it’s not as “country “ , an old fashioned Exhibition. Now it’s more mainly the midway and rides and the carnys and buskers and people selling things. I’m not even sure if you can get over to Ontario Place anymore from the Exhibition.

 

I remember years and years ago my husband and I walking hand-in-hand when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend and we will get to the Exhibition at 9 AM and we wouldn’t leave until midnight . We would just walk and walk and walk and have fun . Used to be able to see shows and baseball games at the Molson amphitheatre . We would go on the cable cars that would cross the entire exhibition and you could see the whole park from up there .

 

I guess what stands ,still ,as a symbol of the Exhibition is the princes’ gate . It has stood there for 139years . 139years of the Exhibition. It was first the Confederation Gate but renamed to Princes’ Gate when 2 of Queen Victoria’s sons ( including the Prince of Wales) visited Canada .

 

Yesterday we walked most of the park ,a few times, we did 11 km in three hours .

[Seraphim]

Yesterday I was very lucky to get a dishwasher from a friend. It is in very good condition for $50. I feel so happy about that!

[Seraphim]

The quiet in the neighbourhood is deafening. It is back to school day. All my little neighbours start school today, some for the first time.

 

I had very vivid nightmares about work last night. It was not my actual work place but I know what it meant . My life is out of control in that respect. My subconscious is telling me what I already know. I am done. My body is feeling strain too with headache after headache.

 

Family members won’t give the push I need. Everyone of them shrugged and said, “ up to you.” Even my mom said that. My best friend is more interested in giving me the push to do it.

[Seraphim]

Poor R , they have given him ANOTHER duty too.🙄

[Seraphim]

Yay! Bell replaced our modem and outside line and now everything works perfectly.

 

I have decided I am going to make the jump and do my home daycare. I will work until I have everything that I need for my daycare . And I will probably started January 2. Or if work is still a mess I will just make the jump faster . But hopefully I get enough hours to get what I need for the day care . It will be hard work but I’m not adverse to that .

[Seraphim]

Today is my dad’s 73rd Birthday. I called him to say happy birthday . He was reasonably OK .

 

I did my EI application online . I changed my address with the CRA .

[Seraphim]

Do you know who the most terrifying monster is? The one you invite into your own home.

[Seraphim]

I just had the most amazing 9 hour deep deep sleep. No nightmares about work. No aches and pains and no headaches waking me up. Just amazing!

 

I am in LOVE with my new dishwasher. It has picked up my spirit like no tomorrow.

 

R decided he wanted to be part of an honour guard for the burial of some Wing commander back home instead of receive his medal on the day he was supposed to. 😡 I told him ,look ,you just disrespected me and your son . I took the day off work to come to your medal ceremony , bought a dress etc and then you change your mind about what you’re going to do you’re not the only person a the job you know . Next time stick with what you said you were going to do . This is disrespectful to me . No instead you were disrespectful to me and worried about some dead guy who never knew you .

If you are not going to follow through on an event don’t tell me about it or invite me.

 

He can be so so flighty sometimes. It pisses me off. Sometimes has no consideration for anybody but his own ass .

[Seraphim]

I have the best husband in the world.❤️ He is willing to pull money out of his RRSP to finance my daycare start up. My RRSP’s are locked to age 60 or 65 I can’t remember but I can’t take money out.

[Seraphim]

I am back to signing at Mass today. Going to practice soon.

[Seraphim]

My mom and step dad might be doing a kinship adoption of their great grandson. His mother after 14 months with him wants to give him up for adoption . I am so beyond disgusted I could kick her right in the ass . If you want to give a kid up for adoption friggin do it right away not a whole year later . And CAS has told my stepsister she cannot have him because she has six children of her own . So if my mom and stepdad adopt him and they pass away they asked me if we would take him .

[Seraphim]

Man-o-man I slept the sleep of the dead last night. I was out! From 11 until now. And it was so deep a sleep. I never even moved.

[Seraphim]

My mom and step dad are trying to get their great grandson. He was taken into care on Thursday. My mom talked to my step sister. My step dad always wants my mom to do the dirty work . So if his kids get mad they can get mad at her not him . I don’t know what my mother said but I gather that my stepsister agreed. So Monday AM they are calling about M. He is the spitting image of his mom, my niece. She is only 17 though and he is 14 months. And his dad is 15. My niece is intellectually disabled as she had a stroke as a baby. I guess this is much too much for her.

[Seraphim]

My anxiety has reduced by a thousand fold being out of my work place most of the time. Now that I am out of there most of the time I realize exactly how toxic the energy was in that building . It was killing me. I am worried that my business won’t take off fast enough but still my anxiety is so much better.

[Seraphim]

I feel so bad for my husband he’s going to a headstone commemoration back home starting this Thursday . He says to me oh I should call my parents in case they want to come . I looked at him like he had 19 heads and 47 eyeballs . Dude your parents are 86 and can’t stand for more than two minutes and your father never leaves the house anymore because he’s so confused . He can’t even go out to eat because he doesn’t even know what’s happening . You think they’re going to come to some parade ?? Your parents are not 50 anymore you need to get this in your head. They are never coming to anything again .

 

Then the poor guy calls them to talk about what he’s doing and all they do is talk about the fact his sister has a cold 🙄