speak Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hello everyone! I use to always post about my belief in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I am 22 now, and I don't really believe that way anymore. I think it's more important for me to be in a good relationship with a good man and be intimate, than to wait forever for marriage. I still haven't had a boyfriend. I am more confident than ever and I am accepting myself more and more each day both physically and internally. My question: Whenever I do date a guy and tell him things about me, I am so afraid to let my virginity come out in the open. What if it scares men off? Would a man turn away from a virgin for a more experienced girl? Link to comment
SpiritofFire Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hello everyone! I use to always post about my belief in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I am 22 now, and I don't really believe that way anymore. I think it's more important for me to be in a good relationship with a good man and be intimate, than to wait forever for marriage. I still haven't had a boyfriend. I am more confident than ever and I am accepting myself more and more each day both physically and internally. My question: Whenever I do date a guy and tell him things about me, I am so afraid to let my virginity come out in the open. What if it scares men off? Would a man turn away from a virgin for a more experienced girl?[/quote In time you will meet that special person. If the individual you are dating is respectful and understanding, and carying it wont' matter if you are a virgin or not! You can say what you wish, but that wouldnt' stop me from dating someone I care for, no way. Everyone was in that situation at some point, and there is nothing embarassing about it period. To answer your question yes some peeps may turn away, but most will stay with their partner. I think it's a silly but everyone is different. Link to comment
The Archer Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 There’s always going to be any number of things that could put a person off depending on who they are, the situation their in, and what they want from life etc. I can imagine a lot of men preferring a more experienced partner but I would think most guys would still be perfectly open to the idea of entering a relationship with a virgin. The important thing is to build a relationship with a guy. Dating is about getting to know each other. Important things for a relationship are common interests, shared goals, attraction, mutual respect, trust, motivation etc And the list goes on and on but sexual experience is something that can be easily left of that list. In the long run sex will likely be vital to your romantic relationship but you can gain sexual experience with time. It’s something generally done once your inside a committed relationship. It’s not needed immediately. I agree with the above post: it’s not likely to stop someone who cares about you. Link to comment
speak Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 I agree with the above post: it’s not likely to stop someone who cares about you. But, they can't care about you unless they get to know you and that information is part of me. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 People change and think differently as they get older. Some are very stubborn and refuse to adjust so it is very good that you are open to the idea that you don't have to wait for marriage. You are still very young so give yourself a break okay. As far as a guy running off because you were a virgin goes: If he is an idiot, a selfish jerk or a all around doosh bag he might run off but a real man will not. Being a virgin is not a bad thing, it is something that is rare and your choices should be respected by anyone in your life. Lost Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I would just wait until you meet someone and see how you feel. Have the attitude that you are definitely waiting but if you get into the relationship and time goes on and you both decide to have sex, well then have it. I find that if a gal has the attitude that she is waiting until the right time with a guy who is worth it and they are at that point in the relationship because she respects herself finds what she is looking for more than a gal says "i;m waiting for marriage" and changes her mind on a first date. I was still a virgin at 22 too. Men don't ask "are you a virgin?" when they first meet you unless they are perverts or are looking for someone to sacrifice to a volcano. And more guys are also virgins at 22 than they will admit. Link to comment
The Archer Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I’m not sure what your saying? Caring about sometimes can happen very quickly. Getting to know you would take time but a guy could care about you (and certainly be attracted to) you throughout that process. When there is a problem or source of anxiety in a functional relationship both people sit down and work things though as a team. It’s about pulling together, supporting each other. Giving the other person a leg up even when we’re feeling down. In the grand scheme of things your lack of sexual experience is only a small issue. Easily solved and not something a supportive boyfriend is going to have an issue with. Life is mostly about attitude. There are people out there with a ton of relationship and sexual experience but that doesn’t mean that they would make a better partner than you. The best partners are the people with plenty of motivation, support and compassion. Link to comment
velvette Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I was still a virgin at your age. (; and so was my bf, which made him an almost-23-year old virgin! bwahah we'd been together for 3 years already, so obviously there was no rush to "lose" it. virginity matters very little in the grand scheme of things. once you find the right person, this "problem" will be a breeze to solve. Link to comment
Circe Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hello everyone! I use to always post about my belief in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I am 22 now, and I don't really believe that way anymore. I think it's more important for me to be in a good relationship with a good man and be intimate, than to wait forever for marriage. I still haven't had a boyfriend. I am more confident than ever and I am accepting myself more and more each day both physically and internally. My question: Whenever I do date a guy and tell him things about me, I am so afraid to let my virginity come out in the open. What if it scares men off? Would a man turn away from a virgin for a more experienced girl? It depends on the guy. Some of them think its a good thing because they get to be your first and you have no past history they need to be jealous of. Others wish you had more experience because the "first time" for the girl is not usually great fun for her - and they don't want their first time with you to be something other than great for you. I don't think it really makes very many men go "er - no, she's not for me". Unless they are just looking for a purely sexual r'ship in which case they might feel that way. Link to comment
greywolf Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Think of it as filtering out the bad guys. The guys that it scares off you don't want to be with anyway. Link to comment
hazeltears Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 A decent caring person does not think less of someone because they're a virgin. If anything, it's admirable if someone is waiting for marriage or waiting until they know the person they're dating really well and have fallen madly in love. Link to comment
Lady Rashomon Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hello everyone! I use to always post about my belief in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I am 22 now, and I don't really believe that way anymore. I think it's more important for me to be in a good relationship with a good man and be intimate, than to wait forever for marriage. I still haven't had a boyfriend. I am more confident than ever and I am accepting myself more and more each day both physically and internally. My question: Whenever I do date a guy and tell him things about me, I am so afraid to let my virginity come out in the open. What if it scares men off? Would a man turn away from a virgin for a more experienced girl? I was right around your age when I lost my virginity. I'd fallen in love twice before, but both of those relationships ended up breaking my heart, so I was disillusioned about my ability to find a nice guy who I loved and who loved me. Long story short: I ended up sleeping with the first attractive guy who expressed interest in me--not because I wanted a relationship but because I had the mentality of "let's just get it over with." My experience was abysmal. Although I told him I was a virgin beforehand, he hadn't really believed me, so when we were in the midst of the act, it freaked him out and he ended up leaving right after. (According to him, he thought that I was way too experienced and in control of my sexuality to be a virgin, and he guessed that I was lying about it to be coy or play games. Real nice.) In retrospect, I wish I'd waited. Losing your virginity is such an intimate, vulnerable act...and sharing that experience with someone who couldn't give two figs about you or your feelings doesn't feel very good. I think that if it were someone who truly cared about you, your virginity wouldn't scare the guy off. He'd be ecstatic to be your first, in fact. BTW, 22 isn't really that old of an age to lose your virginity. I thought it was when I was younger, but I know lots of people who waited until way later, and who were discriminating in their choice of partner, so they were much happier in the long run. Link to comment
sweetpea03 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 My question: Whenever I do date a guy and tell him things about me, I am so afraid to let my virginity come out in the open. What if it scares men off? Would a man turn away from a virgin for a more experienced girl? It won't scare off the 'right' men. Those who are scared off by it obviously aren't for you. Men want different things and if a man really cares about you, then he will stay with you, virgin or not. I was a virgin when I met my boyfriend. He was never scared off by that and he never pressured me to do anything before I was ready. We waited until I was ready and comfortable enough to move forward in our relationship. Virginity is a small subject matter in the grand scheme of things when it comes to relationships. Don't make it a big deal and it won't be one. Link to comment
MD Geist Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I wish i could find a virgin in my age group but sadly every girl I have been around has been around the block manytimes before I have. I haven't even been there once Link to comment
sweetpea03 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I wish i could find a virgin in my age group but sadly every girl I have been around has been around the block manytimes before I have. I haven't even been there once Then you are probably looking in the wrong areas.... Link to comment
hrtlsngl7 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Hello everyone! I use to always post about my belief in waiting for marriage to have sex. However, I am 22 now, and I don't really believe that way anymore. I think it's more important for me to be in a good relationship with a good man and be intimate, than to wait forever for marriage. I still haven't had a boyfriend. I am more confident than ever and I am accepting myself more and more each day both physically and internally. My question: Whenever I do date a guy and tell him things about me, I am so afraid to let my virginity come out in the open. What if it scares men off? Would a man turn away from a virgin for a more experienced girl? Keep the virgin aspect a secret. Word gets around!!! If I found out you were a virgin, at 22!!! *RARE fruit*...I'd do WHATEVER it takes to get you to let me de-flower you. I know that sounds screwed up, but I'm just trying to be honest with you so you know what to look 4 in the real world. Link to comment
mistawolf Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 my girlfriend was 24 virgin. she put up a story for me to follow but, truth was finally told! never had a "boyfriend" we got close one night after hours of playing, and she stopped me just as i started in, said she was a virgin.... told her it was wrong to lie about it, so just be honest its sexy as hell. if anything you should have a line of men asking for your first time! Link to comment
thebluest Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I'm a 23 year old virgin! I don't think there's really anything weird about it so no need to explain it - but it's pretty simple really, I just haven't found a guy who loved me enough. I have a higher than average sex drive so I've come close many times, but I think 'he doesn't love me enough for this, I deserve better and I'm going to wait for it'. I think most guys don't really care either way. Some male friends have found it surprising when I've told them because I'm someone who is open and comfortable about my sexuality, and I've been called 'sexy' and 'hot' on occasion. But I'm okay with my reasons and good things come to those who wait anyway Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.