I think I'm too kinky for women

[dconway8484]

I have a humiliation fetish. My last two relationships have ended because of it, along with typical post-honeymoon stage problems. I was always very giving to my girlfriends, giving them oral whenever they wanted, and I would engage in any sort of kinky behavior they wanted me to. But I think in the end they lost respect for me. I am worried that I will never find anyone, and I feel like no girl could ever love a man like me. I'm not sure what to do! It has involved things like cuckold fantasies, wearing women's clothing during sex (not because I like crossdressing, but it turns me on because it's emasculating to do it in front of your gf), butt plugs, and other stuff. I am going to a sex therapist, but honestly, are there any really kinky women out there? I feel like a freak! I never wanted to have something like this, I just want to be normal.

 

EDIT: Just wanted to state up front that I am not gay. I am very attracted to women and not at all to men.

[gymratski]

I'm kinky.

I really like being almost choked to death during rough sex.

I also like really hard smacking - to the point that I get a bruise.

I could go into a list of the weird stuff I like, ha ha, but I won't.

 

Tbh, I think it's half the reason I'm not as sexually liberal - in that I'm picky with a partner and can go months without having one.

I know what I like and a lot of guys don't give it so I don't see the point in having sex with them.

 

As long as you don't want to... slaughter innocent animals or anything I think your sexual fetishes are compatible with others.

I wouldn't worry,

[greywolf]

There are plenty of women out there that are into these kinds of things. You just have to find them.

[ForumGuy]

I am guessing there are women out there for you. The problem is finding one that will last. I could imagine the loss of respect would come at any given point and randomly. Thinkin' I'm out of my realm here, but wish you all the best.

[dconway8484]

Yeah but the tough thing is that men are supposed to be "manly" and my fetish runs counter that. I think they inevitably just lose attraction for me because it turns me on for them to tell me I'm not a "real man". I have almost committed suicide because of this.

[ForumGuy]

Yeah but the tough thing is that men are supposed to be "manly" and my fetish runs counter that.

Yeah that's what I was thinking with the "at any given point and randomly" comment. People are out there for you, I'm sure of it.

[dconway8484]

That's what has happened in my last two relationships. I loved both of them very much, and they left me abruptly for other men. The heartbreak was indescribable -- especially when they ended due to things which I was open and honest about at the beginning of the relationship.

[Cheetarah]

That's how I felt(I'm really dominant). Like I'd have to tame it down and/or eliminate it. My ex gave me a complex about it because he 'eww'ed or would tell me things how how repulsive/strange it was and made me, etc.

 

I dunno, I still am working through my reservations regarding that. Some ENA members suggested I check out the kink community. It's good to be among like-minded individuals where you don't face that sort of judgment or alienated feeling. It has been a positive experience for me, for sure. Many, many men who enjoy the sorts of things you do are out there, and women too.

[shes2smart]

Well, my .02 is that you stand a better chance of things lasting if you find someone who is into those things *before* they ever meet you rather than try to "convert" someone to meet those needs.

 

How does one do this?

 

I imagine there are many ways, but what worked for me was limiting my dating pool to those who identified as part of the BDSM community...initially online and then in real life. I met my husband on a BDSM-themed website 9.5ish years ago.

 

Did it limit my pool of potential partners? Sure did. But I never again had to have an awkward conversation about what I liked/wanted. I mean, really, if you meet someone at a munch (BDSM group social gathering, generally at a restaurant at mealtime) or through a BDSM website you already know their slinky's kinked. In the large picture though, isn't the whole idea of dating to get into a relationship about limiting your options and narrowing down your potential partners to one (if you're monogamous) or whatever your preferred number is (if you're polyamorous)?

 

So, yes, there are women out there who'd be into doing those things to you. I've met a number of them over the last dozen or so years going to various BDSM gatherings, parties, demos, workshops, weekends, etc.

 

But I think if you don't limit your search to the community of people who already identify as being into BDSM your chances of finding a gal who is well & truly into those kinds of things is much smaller. While you may find gals who are willing to experiment, they have to have their own interest in it for it to be more than an experiment or occaisional diversion.

[punk76]

I dont get it, but hey, to each his own. This is a kinky enough fetish that you have to realize that you will freak some girls out. If it's really something you can't live without, then you will need to look twice as hard to find someone. Lucky for you, you have the internet.

[dconway8484]

I dont get it, but hey, to each his own. This is a kinky enough fetish that you have to realize that you will freak some girls out. If it's really something you can't live without, then you will need to look twice as hard to find someone. Lucky for you, you have the internet.

 

Ha, that's the worst part about it -- I don't get it either.

[agent1607307371]

Yes, there are kinky women out there, but if you are not looking in areas that highlight this fact straight up, you are going to have an incredibly hard time finding them.

 

Shes2smarts post is right on the money.

[25something]

OP your style is wayyy too kinky for me but I know plenty of woman who digs your style =) I'm being serious too.

[Uma]

What you were saying didn't sound that bad to me. You need to find the right girl and getting with those communities would be a good start.

 

Obviously the other girls weren't the right one for you, because as far as I'm concerned the right person accepts you for who you are, kinky sex and all.

[dconway8484]

thanks everyone for your support. And 25something, how would I go about meeting those women? Haha. I'm attractive, well educated and funny, pass it along!

[Capricorn3]

I have a humiliation fetish. It has involved things like cuckold fantasies, wearing women's clothing during sex (not because I like crossdressing, but it turns me on because it's emasculating to do it in front of your gf), butt plugs, and other stuff

I have to admit I'm curious to know exactly what the "other stuff" is about. I can see how the wearing of women's clothing during sex can strike some women as a little weird, but maybe it's the "other stuff" which has them ending the relationship?

[cursedgirl]

i enjoy kinky only when he dominants. if he likes things emasculating..that turns me off. if he dresses like a girl..i'll definitely go "WT *"?

[dconway8484]

I have to admit I'm curious to know exactly what the "other stuff" is about. I can see how the wearing of women's clothing during sex can strike some women as a little weird, but maybe it's the "other stuff" which has them ending the relationship?

I think the kinkiest thing we did other than what I

listed was her jerking me off onto my own face. The crossdressing was very limited, I only wore a bra during sex a few times. The cuckold fantasies involved her telling me about her being with bigger men, or having a sex boyfriend while I was her emotional partner.

[Jcoyle87]

Well you have to make a choice in any relationship. What is more important fulfilling your sexual fantasies or being with the other person. There are alot of things I would have liked to try in past relationships but never did because I just knew it would be detrimental to the relationship. You don't need to do those things to live. You actually don't even need another person in your life to live so committing suicide would be pointless (I know what you mean though I made 3 attempts a few years ago thank God they were attempts). You may find someone that is into that stuff or you may find someone that you love so much that even sex doesn't seem important, when I was with my ex I actually started to want sex less frequently so it would be more special (I know it sounds weird for a guy to say but that's the power of love).

[metrogirl]

I bet if you looked hard enough online, you could find groups in your surrounding area that have people that share your fantasies and fetish's and if for some reason you don't meet any females with your first group, you could always get information from others about different groups. Word of mouth, you know what I mean?

 

You are probably more normal than you think.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

try "online dating" through fetlife. my best recommendation would be to join the groups you have interests in and participate in the conversations. you're more likely to meet people that way than just messaging a bunch of girls.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

also put what you are lookig for in your profile... a lot of girls may think that you are just looking for sex, so you need to make sure you are clear that you want to meet people for friendship and relationships. also, dont just list and talk about your kinks in your profile... talk about your vanilla likes and interests too. its possible to find what you're looking for, it just may take a while and you have to be prepared for that.

[25something]

thanks everyone for your support. And 25something, how would I go about meeting those women? Haha. I'm attractive, well educated and funny, pass it along!

 

Hmmm I know way too many kinky woman, they're everywhere but, I will surely pass it along. Some of the freakiest woman I ever come accross are the ones who come off all innocent (FREAK IN THE SHEETS) lol....

[SinfullySweet]

I like being dominated, but there are women out there who like to dominate. Since your taste is a little unusual I would go the route an earlier poster suggested and look into the fetish community.