Can't control my thoughts! They are killing me.

[robert7x]

I'm constantly thinking about her!!! Thinking what she's up to... If she is with someone... Then thoughts and images of her doing sexual acts with someone else.... I can't stop!

 

I haven't talked to her in 2 days now as I finnaly decided to do NC for the probably 10th time. I really feel like i'm dying slowly. It's been about 2-3 monts since we broke up and all i think about is her.

 

It seems i have nothing else on my mind, cant think about anything else for more then 2min and she pops in. I swear I cant take this any longer... Never felt like this about any girl and i believe this one will be the end of me.

 

Why did i put all my happiness in her and the relationship? Now that it's over all the thoughts won't let me live. I'm empty inside... I'm just a walking zombie.

[The_Seeker]

The reason you put all your happiness in her and the relationship is because you are a passionate person. LOL I did the same thing on my first relationship. Biggest mistake ever.

 

Now snap out of being autopilot zombie.

 

Do something. Like drive an audi!

[robert7x]

It seems like every morning it gets worse and worse. I dont feel like going out at all... This weekend i spent at home. I dont have any single friends to go out... I'm all alone... Even if i went out i'd run into her and just feel like taking my gun end shooting myself.

 

I always look for her next to me.... But she's not there... I'm too old for this crap. I should be stronger about this and move on... Date etc. But I cant! I have no motivation for anything...

[robert7x]

I have it all in a way... Job, money, place to live, cars, bike etc.... But i'd give it all for her... Just to be with her again. I've put her on such a big peddestal that there is no taking her off of it.

[SapphireNoir10]

Stop torturing yourself. As soon as these thoughts pop into your head just do something else, distract yourself, call a friend, literally replace the thoughts.

[The_Seeker]

I have it all in a way... Job, money, place to live, cars, bike etc.... But i'd give it all for her... Just to be with her again. I've put her on such a big peddestal that there is no taking her off of it.

 

Those are just material things, buddy. Any feelings at all?

 

I hate the mornings. I remembered the day of the breakup, I couldn't move myself outside the bed.

[ForumGuy]

You really have to tough it out man. Things will get better over time. I was the same way 9 months ago. Things will start filling the voids left by her. You will start feeling better and then pretty much forget about her....maybe not totally....but enough to function happily. After 9 months, I know I still love my ex and always will, but all those original feelings of helplessness have been replaced with new horizons that I am very excited about. You have to tough it out right now.....don't call her!!! If it is the 10th time, the respect is gone.

[robert7x]

I feel like that now... And it's been about 3 months since. We talked and saw each other still after it was over... Which made it horrible. I tried nc but always caved... Imagine every day for the past 3 months going thru "first day of breakup". I'm surprised i'm still normal from all the pain and hurt i felt.

[robert7x]

You really have to tough it out man. Things will get better over time. I was the same way 9 months ago. Things will start filling the voids left by her. You will start feeling better and then pretty much forget about her....maybe not totally....but enough to function happily. After 9 months, I know I still love my ex and always will, but all those original feelings of helplessness have been replaced with new horizons that I am very excited about. You have to tough it out right now.....don't call her!!! If it is the 10th time, the respect is gone.

 

Bud i never call her... She is the one initiating all the contact. I have the need to do it but never do... Then all of a sudden a text or call from her and i cave.

 

I'm strong in not initiating any contact... But very weak in not replying hers.

[The_Seeker]

Bud i never call her... She is the one initiating all the contact. I have the need to do it but never do... Then all of a sudden a text or call from her and i cave.

 

I'm strong in not initiating any contact... But very weak in not replying hers.

 

In that case, you have two options.

 

1.) Hide your phone!

 

2.) Give her a ring tone that says "Ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, NC NC NC NC!"

[mines]

I don't know the particulars of your breakup....but I understand breakups and the accompanying pain. I'm going through it now. The first two days I couldn't move, literally. Didn't eat for nearly a week. I'm at one month now and I still don't have an appetite, and I still cry everyday, just not nearly as much.

 

At times, the pain has been so enormous, that I wasn't sure I could live through it. Admittedly I have been out running, and tried to literally run so hard that my heart would stop. However, I'm still here, still gutting my way through it, but it's a slow process. Grief is hard work, and then we face the hard work of moving forward.

 

The pedestal - I know that place. I still have him in that place of high honor - and maybe in my ex's case, it is fitting. I find alot of good things about him - he just chose someone else, not me. But, I do deserve someone as great as he is, so I go forward determined not to ever settle for less. Still, I won't let the loss of him, break me.

 

Try to find your defiant inner warrior.....that's who's going to get you through this.

[ForumGuy]

The pedestal - I know that place.....

It was a great day, months ago, when I realized mine was not as great as I had thought. Nice and caring person on one hand.....liar on the other. Also to the OP, every time you resist her, you will become stronger in your own self.

[randy2029]

I know the feeling, OP. I have 2 great kids, a loving family, love my job, my community and where it is, my house...and I tend to forget about them and focus on what I don't have - her - instead of being oh so grateful for what I do have.

 

But when I focus on what I have, and don't think about her, I'm feel much much better. Still slipping up occasionally, but getting better at it.

 

So will you, if you try as often as possible. Damn slow though, isn't it?

[robert7x]

How do you guys not think though? Anything i do, doesnt really help. She's always there. Like i have OCD or something.

 

It's also very hard for me as i dont have friends... All the ones i had either got married or are in relationship which when i was with ex we all used to hang out together. Now i dont see any of them.

 

It's very lonely right now. I go see my mom and i can only be there for 10min before i start missing her and then just wanna go home. Winter is the worst time i swear. It's too darn cold and i dont feel like doing anything at all just sitting in my apartment feeling like crap.

 

I became too co-dependent of her. It feels like she's holding my whole life in the palm of her hand. That's terrible.

[The_Seeker]

How do you guys not think though? Anything i do, doesnt really help. She's always there. Like i have OCD or something.

 

It's also very hard for me as i dont have friends... All the ones i had either got married or are in relationship which when i was with ex we all used to hang out together. Now i dont see any of them.

 

It's very lonely right now. I go see my mom and i can only be there for 10min before i start missing her and then just wanna go home. Winter is the worst time i swear. It's too darn cold and i dont feel like doing anything at all just sitting in my apartment feeling like crap.

 

I became too co-dependent of her. It feels like she's holding my whole life in the palm of her hand. That's terrible.

 

Probably because I'm a girl....so I got a better support girls and guys system.

 

When I want to get my mind of my ex that day of the break up, I planned ahead. I told my guy friend I wanna go see the movie and he said if he could come with. I'm like sure. After that I was hungry and I told him I'll see him later. And he asked where I was going, I said I'm grabbing dinner. LOL So he wanted to tag along.

 

My guy friends and I are into sports. So we either play soccer or basketball a lot. Games to keep track of scores. They helped me get my mind off my ex a lot.

 

Then with the girls. We had girls night out and dinner sort of like Sex and the City style. Dress up and make up got my self-esteem back. I love to dance so it got my mind off my ex.

 

Some 25 year old guy working at Express told me that I was beautiful when I told him I just got out a recent relationship and am single and that my ex was an idiot.

 

That's how I got my ex out of my mind. He's there once in a while. I think it's because he was thinking of me that made me think of him.

[robert7x]

AH Monday! I feel even worse today... Actually Did something stupid and Texted Her this morning when i woke up at 6am cause i couldn't sleep anymore.

 

Damn IT! Why am i still going thru this like it's the first day guys? Why can't I control myself and my damn emotions? I'm sitting at work in my office right now and just going wild with thoughts. I'm so down right now that I can't think about ANYTHING ELSE other the HER! I'm going insane... I feel like laughing like Joker all of a sudden for no reason... then next momment i wonder if anyone would really miss me if I was gone... would she?

 

I feel like crying but I can't... All these emotions... I can't go on like this! I just can't keep living like this anymore...

[iwannarun]

I know how you're feeling right now...I'm sure we all do. It's been 2 months for me since my breakup, and I go through the same things still. I go from being happy to being depressed to pissed off to numb back to sad and then happy. And it happens every day, and it sucks. But I guess we have to realize that they weren't, and CAN'T be, our only source of happiness. I still think about my ex every minute, and I still get sad and cry and everything else. But we have to realize that it WILL get better. Focus on everything else in life, focus on the things you can actually control!

[Yaz]

The more you try to stop, the more she's there in your head.

 

Have you tried meditation? It may help you focus on yourself and let the thoughts of her just pass through, instead of sticking in your head.

[askltk]

I became too co-dependent of her. It feels like she's holding my whole life in the palm of her hand. That's terrible.

 

Check the opening post mate - has helped me go through something similar.

 

 

[claude91]

I feel for you my friend, I am going through the same thing...I keep thinking about her and what she's doing etc. You feel like you're never gonna be happy again and it's even worse if you don't really have many people to talk to.

 

Firstly, you need to make a decision whether you really want to be with her or not. If not then just don't contact her (no exceptions), thats really the easiest advice I can give.

 

Secondly, you should make the effort to go out there and do things. It will be hard obviously but it will prevent you from thinking about her. It's only when I'm bored/alone (which is quite a lot at the minute) that I think about her. New hobbies/activities will take your mind off her, even if its something as simple as travelling somewhere for the weekend to do some sightseeing or reading a good book!

 

Lastly, when you think about her...focus on the bad things, make a list of what you didn't like in the relationship. Then, whenever you think about her again, focus on those things, and why you're better out of the relationship than in. That helped me a bit. One thing you could try to do (which is difficult I know because I've tried many times and failed) is that literally whenever she comes into your head, just force yourself think about something completely different - something funny you watched on TV, a good film, a fun night out you had with your friends, anything really. This is difficult to do because it's so easy to just think about her in your head for hours on end, and it's much harder to focus on something different if your brain wants to think about her...But you can do this - just make the effort to focus and it will help. I myself am working on it...but not there just yet lol.

 

Good luck

[Diggitydave]

Bud i never call her... She is the one initiating all the contact. I have the need to do it but never do... Then all of a sudden a text or call from her and i cave.

 

I'm strong in not initiating any contact... But very weak in not replying hers.

 

What does she want? Not going to sit here and say it's soooo easy to just not pick up. When my ex called I picked up faster than hell.