Baby Fever...I've Got it....

[Maroney555]

Hey ENA!

 

How's it goin?!

 

I was just curious to see what other people had to say about this topic...

 

Just got done with the families for the holidays and I am finding myself totally engulfed in the idea of having a kid. I really, REALLY want one. I was waiting tables last night and I mentioned how cute this couple's baby was and after a bit of talking they asked if we were trying. It totally got me wound up and thinking lol

 

My question is....how do you stop the intense feeling of "I WANT A BABY NOW!"? We are not in a place in our marriage where we are ready to have kids. I'm also nervous because (and I will never admit this) I don't want my hub to be...umm..."too" old when we start having kids. We have a 10 year age gap between us and at the rate things are going, we won't be able to start having kids for another 2 years MINIMUM!

 

HELP! ](*,)

[SapphireNoir10]

Take it as something to look forward too It will happen in good time, when your emotionally/financially ready and capable you will get your cute lil baby.

[newwave]

I completely understand. I never wanted kids until a few years ago now I want a baby. However I am not in a good way now being unemployed and in a tricky relationship issue (wanting a guy doesn't want me or may not ever, and no other future prospects). I probably can't realistically have a kid for the next 2-3 years but that makes me 41 or 42 and that's getitng up there. I'm considering freezing my eggs though if I have an early menopause.

[gymratski]

I have a very strong opinion on this so I know I will not post here as it will cause controversy and I don't want to upset anyone.

 

I have a list of sociological and psychological reasons why you should enjoy the "baby fever," but not act on it.

If you want to to hear what I have to say PM me,

Otherwise, please think, think, and double think before you do this.

 

The lonely holiday season and seeing other peoples' babies should not be a trigger for wanting to start a family.

[Maroney555]

Ya...I have a 5 year BC method so we are safe lol I would have to physically go to a doctor to get it removed, so being lazy, that right there isn't gonna happen

 

I love babies!!!!!

[Maroney555]

Take it as something to look forward too It will happen in good time, when your emotionally/financially ready and capable you will get your cute lil baby.

 

Good way to put it

[Miss Firecracker]

Men don't really get too old to have babies. Look at Larry King.

 

Relax, you have lots of time.

[abitbroken]

What place are you in your marriage that it is not good? I would understand if you are not yet married, etc, but you are. What place do you want to be in before children? And is that place something that is markable (when you get out of debt, get a house, finish schooling, etc). If the goal is not markable (ie "someday", "when we are in a better emotional place", "when we get 'established'") it just gets put off because it is very subjective. Why does it have to be two years? What happens in 2 years? I would consider having a talk with your husband and say, "you know - this is crazy but after spending so much time with babies - I know you said we weren't ready now, but I have babies on the brain. I all the sudden am more looking forward to having one. Do we have to wait 2 years still, do you think??"

[annie24]

Men don't really get too old to have babies. Look at Larry King.

 

Relax, you have lots of time.

 

that's true....

 

but...... there are risks with older men having children. A lot of research is pointing to advanced age of the father as a contributing factor in autism.

 

maroney - not to rain on your parade..... but i know you said in another thread you are having some troubles with your husband. so not sure now is the time to start a family. i know you are going to wait anyways, but for sure, i would make sure your problems are settled before making the babies.

[Maroney555]

School is the minimum two year thing.

[Maroney555]

that's true....

 

but...... there are risks with older men having children. A lot of research is pointing to advanced age of the father as a contributing factor in autism.

 

maroney - not to rain on your parade..... but i know you said in another thread you are having some troubles with your husband. so not sure now is the time to start a family. i know you are going to wait anyways, but for sure, i would make sure your problems are settled before making the babies.

 

Ya, I know. We have talked and talked and talked about those problems and we have figured things out and have worked through them. They were mostly due to my insecurities, etc. But ya annie...you've helped provide a lot of insight for me and I wanna assure you that we are gonna wait Promise!

 

Just being around the kiddies makes me jealous lol

[Circe]

I'm jealous that you are jealous. I want to know what baby fever feels like. I almost don't feel like a proper woman because I don't have baby fever

[catfeeder]

Spend a lot of time with friends and family who have kids, especially babies and toddlers. You'll enjoy it sometimes, and other times you'll wish you could complete a sentence.

 

I fell in love with my nephew and niece, and I babysat often and also had them stay with me on alternate weekends. As happy as I was with them, I was also relieved to get back to my quiet life--and this taught me a LOT. Joy and exhaustion don't always play well together, and forcing mega doses of reality on myself helped me to put things in the right perspective for me.

[sherryberrypie]

I know how you feel. We pretty much have a five year timeline before kids, and I hate it.

[Miss Firecracker]

that's true....

 

but...... there are risks with older men having children. A lot of research is pointing to advanced age of the father as a contributing factor in autism.

 

maroney - not to rain on your parade..... but i know you said in another thread you are having some troubles with your husband. so not sure now is the time to start a family. i know you are going to wait anyways, but for sure, i would make sure your problems are settled before making the babies.

 

Oh, how old is this man? I have no idea, was figuring it wasn't too old.

[Maroney555]

No he's not that old lol he's ten years my senior...

 

Ya I do not like baby fever haha don't feel jealous lol

 

These holidays were pleasant with the kids but last years was hell! Baby non stop screaming bloody murder...coincidentally didn't come back with baby fever lol

[Miss Firecracker]

No he's not that old lol he's ten years my senior...

 

Ya I do not like baby fever haha don't feel jealous lol

 

These holidays were pleasant with the kids but last years was hell! Baby non stop screaming bloody murder...coincidentally didn't come back with baby fever lol

 

If you want to get over baby fever at least for awhile I will help.

 

I had two babies, one is now in his early 20's and the other late 20's. They are still dependent on me and always will be. Consider that possibility. Most people that have children don't consider they may never grow up. But this does happen.

 

Normally I would never post something like this, but you seem to think you aren't ready for parenthood. Just be sure you are ready for the good, the bad AND the ugly.

[OptomisticGirl]

I have baby fear every time I hold my 5 month old nephew, lol.

 

Usually mine goes away on its own. I find that if I indulge that feeling and like wonder around the baby section of a store, it helps sooth it some how. Also, watch a video on youtube of a natural childbirth. When mine gets real strong, that knocks me off for a few weeks. Otherwise, just ride it out. You know you aren't ready (for your own reasons) and you can't be 'lazy', so you are secure. Maybe try talking to the hubby about it, maybe talking about it with him, even if it's just 'so what would you like a boy's name to be?' will help.

[sweetpea03]

No he's not that old lol he's ten years my senior...

 

Ya I do not like baby fever haha don't feel jealous lol

 

These holidays were pleasant with the kids but last years was hell! Baby non stop screaming bloody murder...coincidentally didn't come back with baby fever lol

 

Just keep reminding yourself of last years holiday. The best birth control for me is watching these 2 girls that I nanny. They are wild and scream a lot. I tend to come home with headaches. lol. You know you aren't ready(as you said yourself), so remind yourself of all the 'down sides' to having a child... no/little sleep, finances, constant care/no alone time, etc. Then that can help the feeling to pass.

[Maroney555]

Ohhh yes. Baby fever has passed..and with help from you all will be applying these inputs toward Christmas's inevitable "fever" thanks guys! You all rock!

[sweetpea03]

Ohhh yes. Baby fever has passed..and with help from you all will be applying these inputs toward Christmas's inevitable "fever" thanks guys! You all rock!

 

Good luck with it all!

 

I know I get it, too. I love holding my boyfriend's niece. She is adorable and is 4 months old. After being around her, my mind wanders a bit. Though I know I shouldn't and always try to think rationally about how I'm not ready and there is no way my boyfriend and I should trying for a kid. That would be a bad idea. But boy can it be hard sometimes. haha.

[Maroney555]

Good luck with it all!

 

I know I get it, too. I love holding my boyfriend's niece. She is adorable and is 4 months old. After being around her, my mind wanders a bit. Though I know I shouldn't and always try to think rationally about how I'm not ready and there is no way my boyfriend and I should trying for a kid. That would be a bad idea. But boy can it be hard sometimes. haha.

 

Ya no kidding lol...I will keep everyone updated in a couple years when we ARE ready to go through with it

[Batya33]

The problem is that if it's only baby fever they don't stay babies. So you really do have to consider whether you want a child badly-one who will develop his own personality and be strong enough- I mean physically! -not to do what he needs to,at least not easily. I love my toddler beyond words, 99.9% of the time we have a blast -but the ten minutes this morning struggling to put an almost 30 pound kicking screaming little person in a bulky coat in his stroller while I felt knife-like pain in my back -well, I am still tired from it and know full well that that brief incident is nothing compared to the "terrible twos" and not even part of a tip of an iceberg. And yet -zero regrets, lots of joy, laughs (including his -tears dried and smiles resumed within 1.5 minutes of the tantrum) - but if all I had was baby fever that would not get me through times like those.

[sweetpea03]

Well I think everyone knows that. I nanny for a family and deal with "the terrible twos" and another young one. I wrote earlier on here, that is has been good birth control for me. lol. But the OP is pointing out that when you are playing/holding a young baby, it can make your mind wander to imagine having your own. I get that feeling when holding my baby cousin or my boyfriend's niece. They of course will grow up and we want them to do that. It's just that the timing has to be right and have to be prepared. Right now, me and the OP are in school, hence a bad time for wanting kids..

[Batya33]

Well I think everyone knows that. I nanny for a family and deal with "the terrible twos" and another young one. I wrote earlier on here, that is has been good birth control for me. lol. But the OP is pointing out that when you are playing/holding a young baby, it can make your mind wander to imagine having your own. I get that feeling when holding my baby cousin or my boyfriend's niece. They of course will grow up and we want them to do that. It's just that the timing has to be right and have to be prepared. Right now, me and the OP are in school, hence a bad time for wanting kids..

 

 

No I don't think everyone knows that in a meaningful way - I think many people focus on wanting a "baby" so badly that they don't take into account past the baby stage just like many people plan far more for the 5 hour wedding than the marriage itself. And I don't think baby fever is always just the mind wandering from being around a baby -I wanted a baby desperately for many years so I can relate to that kind of baby fever.