dramallama Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 If you have at least 30 different people telling you to stay away from this girl and that she is not interested, then how much more unbiased can you get? We are not trying to be negative or critical, we are telling you how we see it from a neutral standpoint. And it's not that the advice is critical, it's just that you aren't getting the answer that you want after all this time, so you want someone to come along and tell you to keep in contact with her, even when it's pretty clear that she has no interest in you in a romantic way. I think your desperation has killed any chance of her coming back to you. She may want to hang out with you as a FRIEND, but by her words, actions, and inaction (ignoring you, blowing hot and cold), it's pretty clear that she doesn't recipricate your interest because she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. But if you want to keep in touch with her, you can do that. Maybe months down the line when you are in the same position with her (stuck in the friendzone), instead of moving on, you will begin to understand. I know we aren't telling you what you want to hear, but we've seen it all before. A blind person could tell she doesn't have any attraction for you. So your best bet is to cut your losses and move on. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 Fine thanks - That is what I wanted to hear that it is over - Now I will not think of her anymore - and this thread stands closed as of now for atleast sometime - and just one last thing - is there a chance of her coming back in future? Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Ok, well I wish you luck with healing then, harsh. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 Ok, well I wish you luck with healing then, harsh. and just one last thing - is there a chance of her coming back in future? Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Re-read even you last couple of posts brother. You saw her out once, then immediately called/texted and she didn't answer. I'm not sure how much more evidence you need, you are just in DENIAL man. Start taking steps to acceptance. Accept that it's over. You need to heal or you'll be stuck in this limbo for more months to come. Listen to what we're telling you. Your e-mail reeks desperation. We're not trying to be harsh (har har), we are just being realistic and looking at this objectively. Good luck man. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 Re-read even you last couple of posts brother. You saw her out once, then immediately called/texted and she didn't answer. I'm not sure how much more evidence you need, you are just in DENIAL man. Start taking steps to acceptance. Accept that it's over. You need to heal or you'll be stuck in this limbo for more months to come. Listen to what we're telling you. Your e-mail reeks desperation. We're not trying to be harsh (har har), we are just being realistic and looking at this objectively. Good luck man. is there a chance of her coming back in future? Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 I'll tell you what we've been saying all along - NO. Now will you make choices to move on? Link to comment
gallop30 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 damn bro,you're something. i gotta admit,one stubborn mofo are you a man or a mouse? ask MakeIt about that Link to comment
harsh284 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 damn bro,you're something. i gotta admit,one stubborn mofo are you a man or a mouse? ask MakeIt about that I am no mouse - I was fighting it hard Link to comment
sul79 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Harsh, you asked on previous page " why has she not said its over? " ... She has told you 5 months ago that its over.... I really think you need professional help on this one... Asking the same question for the past 5 months " Is there a chance she will come back in the future ? " The answer to that is NOBODY KNOWS... but you are going a damn good job in making sure that she will NOT come back... You said you were NOT going to go to this friends meet and you were advised not to .. but judging by your posts you DID go ????? You are only asking for trouble.. The girl probably is only been nice to you because you were in a relationship before but I wouldnt be surprised if she didnt feel pity for you the way you have been acting for past 5/6 months ago I can only imagine that she thinks your some kind of stalker/creep who just wont give up.. She told you 6 months ago it was over.. Why cant you get that ???? If she wanted you back you would know about it... Nobody can predict the future but if you leave this girl alone and DONT CONTACT HER then who knows ???? But i can assure you if you keep ringing and messaging her she will not come back and you will have pushed her into the arms of a real man.... Please for your own sake man up and go out with your friends and have a good time.. you are 26/27 years old... these are supposed to be the best years of your life and all you seem to be doing is wasting 6 months of your life thinking of her and strategizing ways of getting through to her.. You can be damn certain she is not wasting her time and efforts thinking about you.. she is probably out with her girlfriends every weekend having drinks and flirting with guys... This is what people do Harsh... Come on , she DUMPED you in October... its nearly April now... how long more of this are you going to obsess about her.... Link to comment
Tricia23 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 Harsh, As a girl, I will tell you this and only this.... STOP ANY CONTACT WITH HER, and MOVE ON! You've got to stop asking us for the same advice over and over. " is there a chance she will come back in the future?"! As of now... NO. You truly need to let this girl go, cut ALL ties, be mature about this and move on. Everybody has given you great advice, and you just don't seem to get it. We all have taken the time to read ALL of your posts, and respond, and yet you STILL don't understand. I'll say it one more time for all of us.... LET GO, and MOVE ON! Link to comment
harsh284 Posted March 24, 2011 Author Share Posted March 24, 2011 Harsh, As a girl, I will tell you this and only this.... STOP ANY CONTACT WITH HER, and MOVE ON! You've got to stop asking us for the same advice over and over. " is there a chance she will come back in the future?"! As of now... NO. You truly need to let this girl go, cut ALL ties, be mature about this and move on. Everybody has given you great advice, and you just don't seem to get it. We all have taken the time to read ALL of your posts, and respond, and yet you STILL don't understand. I'll say it one more time for all of us.... LET GO, and MOVE ON! I know I did a mistake but it was only after 1.5 months of NC that we talked and I thought this might be the right opportunity - Now may be she back to original situation - I will go back to NC but I didnt contact her for no reason - I did it because we were on LC; so I thought to take it forward - may be I rushed into it a little fast - I know everyone is blaming me that I am not moving on but I will move on; I just saw an opportunity to make it work out and tried to work on it I have read all the previous pages and based on that I maintained low contact even after she contacted me - I am also not stubborn - I am just analysing things before I take next step to move on - I thought to take the advice of all you guys and seek your views - I definitely understand what you have all said - thanks Link to comment
Tricia23 Posted March 24, 2011 Share Posted March 24, 2011 It might have been an opportunity for YOU, but it might not have been for her. If she agreed to see you and speak to you on friend terms, then ok, but it seems she really isnt interested in speaking with you in the way you want her too. If you and her ever became friends again, it would be after some time. You really need to just move on with your life, and find your own happiness. If things happen to where you cross paths again, and you BOTH do want to start off by being friends, then go with that, but for now, let her work on herself, and you leave her alone, and concentrate on YOU.. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Hi all - an update -she called me a few weeks back and asked me to meet - we talked in general and then she asked me to meet again after two days - after few days I called her and she answered my phone - infact called me back - I was going on a vacation to Dubai and asked her if she needs anything from there. She told me what she needs and said she will pay me. I dont know if we are falling in the friends zone - I don't want to be friends I just want a relationship- what should I do now for her to make a commitment. I am confused. Please help. I still have to give her what she asked me to bring. Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You are in the friends zone it sounds like. Have you told her to only contact you if she wants to reconcile? Because I would hate to think that after 37 pages you haven't learnt a thing... Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy are you contacting this girl. Goddamit man. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy are you contacting this girl. Goddamit man. I told her that contact me if she wants a relationship. Should I ignore her calls? She is the one who contacts me first. This is getting confusing. What shud I do Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 And what makes you think she wants a relationship? Just because you told her you only wanted her to contact you for that, doesn't mean she will. She's selfish. Did she ever mention anything about wanting to be with you? You're just as available as you always were. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 And what makes you think she wants a relationship? Just because you told her you only wanted her to contact you for that, doesn't mean she will. She's selfish. Did she ever mention anything about wanting to be with you? You're just as available as you always were. Then how shud I take this forward to make her to commit and not just use me and hurt me. I am very naive I know. Should I start ignoring her? Please guide. Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You can't "make" someone do anything. You can only be clear about your wants and needs and see if THEY step up and take action to meet them. You must learn to recognise the different between CONTACT and MEANINGFUL CONTACT. CONTACT "how are you?" "what's up?" "hey" "hey, did I leave my text book over your house?" "do you want to come over and watch a movie?" "why are you not talking to me?" "I thought we could be friends" "I miss you so much..." "I love you" MEANINGFUL CONTACT "When can I meet with you to talk about us?" "I made a mistake in breaking up - when can we see each other next?" "I want you back. Please call me." "I miss you and I want to be with you." "I love you and you are the best thing that has happened to me. I want to talk about reconciliation now." Which of those two categories does your ex fit under? Link to comment
professorplum Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 As has been stated on numerous threads before, some people feel it is unlikely that their ex will come straight out and provide some of the examples listed under your Meaningful Contact. Rather they will use some of the other examples listed under Contact first and then if they get positive signs move on to Part 2. This to me is reasonable as they may be unsure of the reaction they might receive. In the case of Harsh, I would agree with Dramallama and MIC that there seems little sign of Stage 1 progessing to Stage 2 so being in the friendszone would appear to be the current state of affairs. Been there, got the tee-shirt and Harsh you can be there for good if you let her. If you want more than that and I am guessing you do, it is time to look elsewhere. It took me far too long to appreciate the same thing. The lady I was besotted with kept me at a distance and used my friendship when it suited her and would still do so if I let her. Eventually, you realise you deserve more. Link to comment
Outshined Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I dont know you but I LOVE dramallama. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted April 24, 2011 Author Share Posted April 24, 2011 Hi all - An update - we met again and this time we got a bit intimate - but 2 days back my mba result came and she called me and asked me about it - i told her i could not make it to a bschool this time also. Then i called her yesterday - she didnt reply- i think this time i have lost her forever. As i told u before she is herself an mba. I think now i am totally screwed up. Need ur views. Thanks. I feel like such a big loser sometimes. I have given 8 bschool interviews ; out of which i cOuld convert only one but that was not a good one so i left it. Dunno wat to do now. Feel she was coming close to me but this result ruined everything. Now she will not come back. Why is my luck so * * * * ed up god? Link to comment
dramallama Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 harsh, no offense, but life is a lot about what you make it. He stringing you along didn't just happen. You need to stop asking for new advice to hear those magical words that you want to hear - that it's ok to keep in touch. But you're not going to get it, at least not from me. Go back and read all 38 pages for your answer. Seriously. Link to comment
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