Lonewulv13 Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 This is my post from the "breaking up" section. I figured there were people who checked out "getting back together" that might not check the other, and since some who responded think my ex may be thinking twice about leaving me, it might qualify for "getting back together". Here it is: "Been a while since I posted on here. So long i forgot my old profile.... Anyway. Dumped by ex GF about 10 months ago. We were together for over a year. I was destroyed when she left. She seemed to have all the "symptoms" of gigs, and worse. She would lie about herself, tell people she had/ did things....to make herself seem more interesting I suppose. I was basically forgotten. We spoke a few times, argued. Usual crap everyone goes through. She went cold, and became seemingly indifferent. I spent the first few months reading "get'er back" books. But they only prolong the hope, the pain. In june she met a new guy, and I guess they kicked it off pretty quick. Thats when i tossed in the towel and figured it was a lost cause. Took a peek about a month or so later, and they had already exchanged their "I love you"s. So I did my best to forget about her. I came a long way. I no longer feel like I need her anymore, but since im posting here...obviously I still think about her. Which is where the thread title comes in... About two weeks ago, an old friend from high school messages me. Hadn't seen her in a long time. Shes going to a hair design center which, coincidentally enough, so does my ex......which is right down the road from where I work. She also goes on to tell me that my ex brings me up sometimes...and over the next week or so, more and more stuff. My friend would be talking about a date or something she went on with her boyfriend, and then my ex would come in and say "oh yeah, me and (...me) used to go on dates all the time". That really surprised me for a couple reasons: 1. I thought she had left me in the dust ages ago. 2. Why would she not use the new guy as an example. I talked to my friend for a few more days, and still I come up. To the point where she says: "yeah....she kind of talks about you a lot". She'd talk about my mom too (30 year hair stylist, her inspiration for joining the center...). I brought up the new guy and shes like: "you know what? I know NOTHING about him.....seriously, all I know is that hes away to school...thats it...shes never spoken of him...". So now im all messed up. about a week after my friend speaks to me again, we bump into each other at a gas station. Shes really excited and all. Well she tells my ex. My ex says "Well tell him to stop by the salon some time. i wanna say hi". Yeah..... So I checked the new dudes facebook (blocked the ex. highly recommend...), to see if I can dig up any logic to all this. I found that a profile picture they had together, was gone. Not even in his previous profile pics. So I guess he deleted it... and the last message from her was over 2 months ago....saying "i love you" none the less.....and about a month ago, he states in some post that he's still with her. So apparently she was talking about me, even when they were still clearly together. So I dunno.....really surprised and confused. A couple days ago, my ex complimented my friend on a necklace her bf gave her, then said " (me) gave me a locket once. I really liked it....". So as you can imagine, shes....been on my mind . Wondering what peoples thought are on the matter. Let me know what you think." Link to comment
bish0p2004 Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 The most you can do is try to get her back....what do you have to lose? If you think a potential rejection is going to hurt you to the point that the break up did, then don't bother. If you're looking for advice or what other people may think she is thinking, then really it's going to be as good as your own intuition because no one here knows her personally or what is going on through her mind. It's really your call. Just remember, you dumped her for a reason and those reasons may still be there. Think long and hard about this because it could just be a possessive thing with you in that you dumped her, but then she found someone else immediately after, which in turn, hurt your ego (it always does regardless). On a side note, I talk about an ex of mine all the time too, but that's because we were really close...but I don't want her back. Link to comment
bungalo Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Bishop..reread his post SHE DUMPED HIM, not the other way around. Link to comment
bish0p2004 Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Bishop..reread his post SHE DUMPED HIM, not the other way around. My mistake...I read "my" instead of "by." So disregard my post. Will write something else later. Actually disregard everything except my last paragraph. Link to comment
quirky Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 I think it's actually best to let her make the effort since she's the one dating someone else. Don't make it easy for her and chase her up again, she has to want this and try as well. Link to comment
Lonewulv13 Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 No, Im not going to give her the satisfaction of that. Though, Philos on "breaking up" speculated that she may want me back, but is nervous Im still hurting or simply, wouldn't want her back. Basically fear of rejection might be keeping her from reaching... Link to comment
Lonewulv13 Posted November 28, 2010 Author Share Posted November 28, 2010 My mistake...I read "my" instead of "by." So disregard my post. Will write something else later. Actually disregard everything except my last paragraph. Haha, its crazy how one, two letter word, can change everything... Link to comment
blueberrypie Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 No, Im not going to give her the satisfaction of that. Though, Philos on "breaking up" speculated that she may want me back, but is nervous Im still hurting or simply, wouldn't want her back. Basically fear of rejection might be keeping her from reaching... To play devil's advocate: if she's interested in checking you out, but not enough to risk the hurt herself, would you want her back that way? I think we all fall into this once or more, but it is your decision to make... But whatever you do, remember to protect your heart. Link to comment
tha16thletter Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Are you over her? Are you over that last situation? Because if you are, you can be the "new" guy to her again. The gauge I'll use if this ever comes up in MY life is this- If I walked up to this girl on the street and never knew her before, asked her on a date and she said no... would the rejection feel like that? Or would it feel like my exgirlfriend just told me no? If you feel like you're past the old relationship and, seeing that she definitely has some inklings of being attracted to you/thinking a lot about you, could you accept a "no"? If you cannot accept a negative response, do not do it. If her and her current are still together, I personally wouldn't do it, either. But what it really comes down to is to "guard your heart". No better words were spoken here. -P Link to comment
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