lostnscared Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I think that part of it is yes I am 40 and single. I was so sure when we reconnected that he was the one. In reality there were a few warning signs I overlooked but probably shouldn't have (him saying he didn't want to marry, admitting he got screwed over by his ex, thinking various forms of sex were gross, etc). NW I wish you luck with your new guy. Hopefully by this time next year, you'll be married, and TTC. I thought you were 39? Link to comment
newwave Posted January 10, 2011 Author Share Posted January 10, 2011 Yes I am 39 but will be 40 in a few weeks (I should have put that). He might be a great choice, who knows. My last guy really isn't a good choice. My family hates him because of the way he treats me. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Yes I am 39 but will be 40 in a few weeks (I should have put that). He might be a great choice, who knows. My last guy really isn't a good choice. My family hates him because of the way he treats me. You're referring to the guy you've been waiting for, right? If so, your family may be on to something. Link to comment
newwave Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 You're referring to the guy you've been waiting for, right? If so, your family may be on to something. Right. My mom doesn't like anything about him and before he pulled the stunts he did they still didn't like him. My mom figured she'd have to tolerate him. She thought he was too ugly and way too obsessed with both his computer and his mother. She also didn't like that he didn't make much and that in reality I would have to support him (I am fine with this because I don't want a man who makes much more than I normally do). Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 yeah, he really sounds like no prize at all. have you heard from the new man? when is the date? Link to comment
newwave Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 No I haven't heard yet from the new man so no update. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Saw this saying online today. It made me think of you, NewWave: "Your past need not be prologue to your future." -Keith Ferrazzi I think you're making progress with the new year. You're nowhere near the thoughts you expressed in the original posting's title. Link to comment
newwave Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I am trying to really heal and move on. Honestly, I don't know why I am taking this as seriously as I am. I have a feeling that it's because I have the job issues as well. I know being unemployed now isn't my fault (there just aren't jobs anywhere) but it feels like it. I'll eventually find something though. Guywise, I will find another guy by the end of the year and will marry within 2-3 years. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I am trying to really heal and move on. Honestly, I don't know why I am taking this as seriously as I am. I have a feeling that it's because I have the job issues as well. I know being unemployed now isn't my fault (there just aren't jobs anywhere) but it feels like it. I'll eventually find something though. Guywise, I will find another guy by the end of the year and will marry within 2-3 years. That's healthy optimism, on the job and dating situations, and is much more realistic than another hope you had.:sad: On jobs, I receive an email job listing of nationwide jobs that may be related to your field. I plan to PM or email you that list later tonight. Please look for it. I'm not job searching and think it comes to my junk folder, which I check frequently in outlook in case a real msg. gets snagged. Thought of you when I saw it as it may be of assistance to you. Link to comment
newwave Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Thanks for that. I need to look at my email but will do that later. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Thanks for that. I need to look at my email but will do that later. Also sent you a PM about me aplogizing in a facebook PM to that HS GF I pressured to have sex... (I've posted my regrets about that here on the forum and how it still haunts my conscious, so it's not like that's too personal for posting here). I may start a thread on that. Dunno. See. Maybe you can help others with their problems. Link to comment
Guest Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I felt compelled to join, and reply to your post specifically newwave. I am probably in a worse position that you. I wish I could kill myself too, get it over with. Too bad suicide isn't legal. Like, there isn't some government agency you can visit, and they play you a nice tape while administering a drug cocktail that will stop your heartbeat painlessly, like in Soylent Green (with Charlton Heston). Man. I'd go straight there right this very minute. But there is no such place. And, I don't know what it is. Maybe stubbornness. Or laziness. But I haven't gotten around to killing myself yet. Maybe i'm not that serious about it either, and there's some part of me that is secretly optimistic, although it's buried under a visible layer of lassitude. Well, let me share with you my story. And, maybe, you'll derive some comfort out of it, in a sort of, "Well, at least i'm not in that guy's shoes," way. So. I am Japanese. But I was raised and traveled around several countries when I was younger. So, I developed my English ability, but not my Japanese ability. Basically, the opportunity wasn't there. The best way to learn a language beyond 18 I think (which is when your brain is no longer as malleable towards language learning) is through immersion. Being in a place where you are constantly exposed to the language. Well, we never lived in Japan, and the language we would need was English where we lived. The significance of this comes into play later. Basically, from the schools that I attended (among other things), I was set on a track to pursue higher education in the United States. Which I did. I went to college, graduated. Then, having nothing to do (no job, or anything) after college, I somehow was able to get into a law school, from which I graduated from during May of last year. Couldn't find a job to take me after graduation--a pretty critical problem during the 'traditional path' to working within the legal industry. Took the state's Bar exam. Failed. Which was the first exam I'd ever failed in my life. Well. I don't blame myself. I didn't have anything to look forward to. So, you can't stay in the U.S. legally unless you're on some type of Visa. So I had to book it out of there. Went to Japan. Searched for jobs there--in pretty much any and every field. Nada. If you follow the news. That country's is in bad shape at the moment. It definitely didn't help that I didn't have the language ability. Now i'm almost 25, and still living with my parents. I have the most terrific fights with them. Basically once every two weeks. You could tell time, and plot the eclipse of the moon by the regularity of my tiffs with my parents. I've been searching for jobs where I am at the moment, in South East Asia. I can't find anything. I've been tapping all the people I know. College alums. People my parents know. Even though this region of the world is supposed to be booming despite all the economic woes all over, I can't seem to find a job to save my life. Come March, my parents want me to go to a language school back in Japan. More of their own money would fund it. Which means, I'd have to listen to more of their directives. Sure, that looks like 'an out,' but, from my perspective, the whole scenario would be unbearable. Really. I just want to find a decent job that would make me enough to wean myself off my parents finally. Bid them adieu, you know, that sort of thing. And I can't! I don't want to strive for excellence. I want to settle for mediocrity. Truly. But I can't even do that. I can't just 'go apply for a fast food job' in my own home country because I don't speak the language. And the one English speaking country where I have a small enclave of friends, and a modicum of familiarity and endearment to (the United States), i'm not even from. I'd need a Visa. And they aren't exactly handing those out that much these days. Edit: Oh, and yeah, I know my own life is nothing compared to what other people have suffered. The quintessential card played is "what about the people in Africa, think about them." Well, to tell you the truth, that reasoning is flawed. It is a logical fallacy, which destroys the soundness of the argument. If I remember my symbolic logic correctly, it would be a straw man. That, or you are merely appealing to the emotion of the person, but are not giving them a logically compelling reason not to kill themselves. Such responses are pretty useless, in my opinion. Link to comment
jmantra Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I wonder what happened to this woman? Anyone know if she is still alive or not? I am going through a similar dilemma. Link to comment
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