Cute girl dresses like a bum in class? Doesn't want to meet guys?

[sherryberrypie]

I think if I do talk to her and she knows she looks like crap shell probably be shocked like wow he likes me like this which means shell never try to look good..

 

 

OR, she's focused on school and not on her appearance, and doesn't give a damn about guys at 8 am. Maybe you should just leave this girl alone because your attitude about this topic alone is just really bad. Maybe she's on her way to the gym after class, or plays sports, or will go for a swim after class and doesn't feel the need to do her hair?

[Superus]

I'd give you rep randomgirl but I need to spread it around. Darn.

 

 

I know if I spotted a girl that i like I'm goingto try to impress her by at least trying to dress causual. She spotted me a couple times but she doesn't put in the effort to show me she's interested physically. If anybody liked some one they would at least try to dress good to get their attention. I know nobody on this board would talk to a guy/girl if they didn't put personal hygiene or dress effort.

 

 

And I don't think she's that focused on school cuz she shows up late everyday, she missed several quizes already and recently the teacher had to talk to her one on one she even missed the first day of class and had to beg to get back in.

 

 

I think she's just flat out lazy with everything but when shes in class she does participate and work good so I don't know what the story is

[Fudgie]

I know if I spotted a girl that i like I'm goingto try to impress her by at least trying to dress causual. She spotted me a couple times but she doesn't put in the effort to show me she's interested physically. If anybody liked some one they would at least try to dress good to get their attention. I know nobody on this board would talk to a guy/girl if they didn't put personal hygiene or dress effort.

 

Actually, not really. Be clean, dress normal, and you can dazzle someone with your personality. You don't have to dress up everywhere.

 

I think your attitude is really bad on this. Look, she has the right to dress however the heck she wants. It doesn't matter what you feel she "should" do. If you don't like it, then maybe you should look elsewhere for a girl, perhaps one who will show up at an 8am chem class with high heels and straightened hair.

[cursedgirl]

there is a difference between dressing casual and dressing ratty..i personally dont like girls who dont even comb their hair.does she look she has a problem with hygiene though?

anywayssss..i guess she just doesnt care or isnt looking for guys at 8am..you dont have to jump to the conclusion about bf..just try talk to her and stuff..see what you can get. if she acts indifferent..probabaly she's not that into you.probably

[randomgirl59]

I know if I spotted a girl that i like I'm goingto try to impress her by at least trying to dress causual. She spotted me a couple times but she doesn't put in the effort to show me she's interested physically. If anybody liked some one they would at least try to dress good to get their attention. I know nobody on this board would talk to a guy/girl if they didn't put personal hygiene or dress effort.

 

Okay, I really dont understand the problem here. The fact that she doesn't dress up is obviously bugging you, so why not just set your sites on a girl who does dress up and leave this girl alone?

 

I can understand that there are people who dress to impress the opposite sex, but others might not think that it's a priority. I see lots of couples as well as just guys and girls walking side by side where both look scruffy or super casual. The places I've seen this most was when I was in college. But you also changed what you said, in your first post you said she should dress up, implying that she should dress up 24/7. Now you're saying she should just dress up to show you she's interested. Either way what she does is her own business. Its like those people that try to change their partners, expect you want her to change and you aren't even dating. Both are ridiculous. You're either fine with someone or you aren't.

 

Honestly dude, its not that hard. You either ask her out and get it over with, or find a girl who meets your standards.

 

sherryberrypie made a good point though. She could just be going to the gym afterwards. Campus gyms are free so lots take advantage of that. I've also heard students like to go early in the morning, before class or after.

[abitbroken]

Here's another consideration - I don't know what "ratty" means, but I worked midnights so I could go to school. I left work at 7 am or sometimes 7:30. I was in my first class at 8:30. It was a 30 minute drive, plus time to park, plus hopefully breakfast even if it was a granola bar. Classes til 11:30 or 12:00 somedays. other days I ended at 2 but then I had study labs, etc later in the evening. I was lucky to get any sleep at all even if it was curled up in my car or in the office of a friend who was a grad assistant who let me crash in the wing chair for a few hours if I had the time. Not everyone is priveleged - some go to school by the skin of their teeth. Some days, I would only shower every other day because heck - two days would be one for me and I often did not have time to go home , shower, and go to work on the other side of town.

 

Or what if it took everything for her to get into school, she has a place that doesn't always have running water or sleeps on different relatives or friends houses during the week to make things work? Not everyone who goes to college is priveleged. Some people go by the skin of their teeth. Sure, she might not be an early riser. But I just read a story about a kid who lived in a bullet ridden neighborhood who felt fortunate to go to college and crashed in a place that was the size of a small bedroom as his apartment. He didn't wear a 3 pc suit to school.

 

Anyways - just showing you that its not that people don't "care". heck, the smelliest ones when I went to school were guys. I just crossed my fingers I wouldn't be paired up with any of them in any sort of dance class or anything that was physically close because they reeked. And it was more a sense of pride for the guys to be that bummy.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I dress pretty casual since I'm LDR. I wouldn't say I dress badly though. I just pull my hair back into a clip (though it is clean and combed) and wear normal clothing. I still try to look cute but don't dress up or wear anything too fun. No makeup for me either.

 

When my boyfriend is around though, I try to look my best.

[greywolf]

She sounds exactly like me. o.O

 

And she probably doesn't dress to impress because she doesn't care to impress you, and is not interested in you.

[faithful14]

She probably doesn't really think too much about her appearance...I mean most of us would rather catch up on sleep rather than makeup for some early morning class. So maybe she prefers to sleep in...and doll up later in the day.

 

 

I mean, when I had physio and chem labs at 7:30 morning, both men and women were in their pj's with no makeup or combovers.

[WockaWocka]

Why should this girl even care if she doesn't meet your criteria for dating material, or OP's or whatever. You guys probably assume she gives a damn when she very well may not.

 

Exactly. Why should she put in effort. For you? Maybe she dresses down because she doesn't want to get hit on all the time. It's one thing if you work in the business world and putting effort into your appearance is part of being professional. But going to school? She is under no obligation to meet your standards in any way, shape, or form.

 

And she probably doesn't dress to impress because she doesn't care to impress you, and is not interested in you.

 

Exactly. If she was there to look for a BF (or in college to get her MRS degree, as we used to say) then she might dress up more. But she's probably there to learn or--since you say she's such a slacker in class--she might just be someone who does the bare minimum needed to get by in every aspect of life. Probably not good dating material in the first place.

[Mr. Franklin]

How is it responsible by looking nasty everyday? A girl does not have to go out looking like Katy Perry or Megan Fox. Not combing your hair is an excuse. Dressing down shows a hygiene problem. It makes me question if they take showers and bush their teeth. I had classes with men and women who dressed like slobs and some of them reeked. By your opinion looking like a slob is OK as long as you get to class?

 

I am not gay, but I judge people regardless of sex. Anyone can dress how they want to. I'm just saying it looks lazy, nasty, and trashy to dress like a slob. I bush my hair and dress casually everyday so I demand the same in return. I'm not bringing home a girl who people may take is a druggy, homeless, nasty, trash, etc.

[WockaWocka]

Anyone can dress how they want to. I'm just saying it looks lazy, nasty, and trashy to dress like a slob. I bush my hair and dress casually everyday so I demand the same in return. I'm not bringing home a girl who people may take is a druggy, homeless, nasty, trash, etc.

 

But that's exactly the point, she's not asking you to take her home!! You are perfectly entitled to set standards on who you will/won't date, but we're talking a random girl in some class.

 

I agree with the general principle of good hygiene, but rarely is someone's hygiene so bad that it would actually affect you or put you at risk in some way. I have had to deal with homeless people who smell like urine or guys from cultures that don't use deodorant and at a certain point that offends me--I even went to school with a guy who wore the same, unwashed, moldy-smelling down coat for years on end--but it takes really bad hygiene to put you at risk.

 

Sure, it's great if she combs her hair, but unless she's spreading head lice around the room (and that would require head-to-head contact), what she does with her hair or the way she dresses is really none of your business. Actually what annoys me more are the girls who come to class in skimpy midriff-baring outfits, because it's really distracting and much more appropriate for a dance club than a college class, but even that isn't really a big deal.

[SapphireNoir10]

This thread made me chuckle.

 

I go to work with smart clothes, but my hair brushed, scraped back with minimum makeup because Im there to work, not look pretty, and seeing as i get up at 5am, I really can't be doing with getting up two hours earlier to groom myself.

 

The fact you think she looks nice without it all great, but the fact you think she should make more effort is a bit of a red flag to me, she may well comb her hair, it might just be she straightens in when its down or something, my hair looks scruffy when tyed up because its curly naturally, but I have combed it, and a lot of girls go for the messy look deliberatley. Shes there to learn not be eye candy.

[Superus]

Well I'm in class right now and she looks a lot cleaner and he looks casual will report on the introduction.

 

I actually came to class with warm ups and a tight thermail sweater lol

[xxNPxx]

Talk about people who dress bad all you want, but ladies with little clothing is one of the reasons I come to class

 

But seriously OP, you're complaining like you own the place. If you like the girl ask her out and she will wear all kinds of fun stuff for you. Otherwise complain more, because nobody cares but you.

[Cognitive_Canine]

When it's an early class, people typically drag themselves out of bed and then take showers after the class to prepare for the rest of the day. I've barely done anything with myself before when I had an 8 AM class (something I did once and never again). I'd literally get out of bed, take a shot of redbull, splash my face with water, and somehow be (sometimes not knowing how exactly I got there) at class. Once the class was over, I'd go home and correctly prepare for the day. Everyone did that and it was forgiven because we were all in pain.

[Mr. Franklin]

How do we know she does not want a casually dress guy? What if she wants a casually dressed man? What would you think of her now? Just asking....because we don't know what she is looking for in a guy. I have seen plenty of people of both sexes dress down and date people who dress casually and nice.

 

Hygiene is not a problem that is life threatening just like you said. However, in dating hygiene is very important. The way some people dress will reflect how people will see you as clean or dirty.

[Fudgie]

Again, she is free to do what she wants, Franklin. It doesn't matter if you think it's "dirty".

 

If OP likes dressed up woman, then he should be like "oh that girl doesn't dress up ergo she's not for me"...and that's fine. But he can't be like "she SHOULD dress up."

 

It's a free country. Your preferences should not influence what other people do. Find someone who matches yours instead of bossing everyone around to fit it like it's some sort of "divine dating truth" because it's not.

[WockaWocka]

Talk about people who dress bad all you want, but ladies with little clothing is one of the reasons I come to class

 

LOL. Well, I'm speaking from the other side of the desk, I suppose. As a TA at a University I find it much more difficult to get my students to focus on the material after a few young girls walk in dressed in next to nothing! (And is it just me, or are there more girls now with pudgy tummies who wear unflattering midriff-baring shirts? Some clothes are simply not appropriate for some body types.) But if it keeps you coming to class, then that's definitely a good thing.

[Mr. Franklin]

Again, she is free to do what she wants, Franklin. It doesn't matter if you think it's "dirty".

 

If OP likes dressed up woman, then he should be like "oh that girl doesn't dress up ergo she's not for me"...and that's fine. But he can't be like "she SHOULD dress up."

 

It's a free country. Your preferences should not influence what other people do. Find someone who matches yours instead of bossing everyone around to fit it like it's some sort of "divine dating truth" because it's not.

 

 

 

Sure it's a free country. I am NOT trying to enforce anything on anyone in this topic. Don't twist things around. I just stated my opinion.

 

Again I am not saying what she should do. I said when a anyone dresses like a slob then it looks nasty.

[Day_Walker]

It could be because it is an early class or she just could be trying to dress down, if you think she is cute talk to her and see if she shows any interest in you.

[Superus]

Well I didn't get a chance to talk to her today but she did look good today. She sits like all the way accross the room. Our class was very serious today so maybe next time

[randomgirl59]

How is it responsible by looking nasty everyday? A girl does not have to go out looking like Katy Perry or Megan Fox. Not combing your hair is an excuse. Dressing down shows a hygiene problem. It makes me question if they take showers and bush their teeth. I had classes with men and women who dressed like slobs and some of them reeked. By your opinion looking like a slob is OK as long as you get to class?

 

I am not gay, but I judge people regardless of sex. Anyone can dress how they want to. I'm just saying it looks lazy, nasty, and trashy to dress like a slob. I bush my hair and dress casually everyday so I demand the same in return. I'm not bringing home a girl who people may take is a druggy, homeless, nasty, trash, etc.

 

 

Mr. Franklin,

 

Oh yes, people who dont brush their hair for an 8am class are the equivalent to druggies

 

I dont think you're getting what we're trying to say here. You can have your standards and preferences, but you also aren't the hygiene and fashion police. What is so hard to understand about not telling or implying to people how they should and shouldn't look? Do you really think this girl cares what you guys, or anyone else thinks? Also, for every guy that makes such a fuss about this, there's a ton others who dont.

 

And like Wocka Wocka said, this isn't a girl he's dating, this is a random girl in his class, who is at school to learn, not be eye candy for him! And if you are going to date someone, make sure he/she fits your standards beforehand so you dont do that obnoxious "I love you the way you are, but can you change ________ for me?"

 

OP also never said anything about bad hygiene either, so dont turn it around and make it sound like that to further your argument OP never said she smelled bad or looked dirty. She just dressed down and doesn't brush her hair. Not brushing hair is not equivalent to bad hygiene. This is purely a looks thing. He wants her to put more effort into her appearance so she'll look cuter to him too bad, she's not here to please him or anyone. Either he accepts that she comes to class looking like the way she does, or finds a girl who meets your standards. Or accepts her appearance as it is and takes it from there. Also, I dont think dressing down implies bad hygeine. Unbrushed hair is not going to make someone sick. Most of my friends dress down and all of them are clean.

 

The bottom line is simple, if you have a problem with someone's appearance, or with how they carry themselves, dont date them. However, do not imply that they should or shouldn't look a certain way to please you, cuz if you do dont be surprised when people get ticked off at that entitled way of thinking. Judge them in your head if you want, everyone does that anyway, but dont start saying they should be looking a certain way just because you want them to. Which is what OP did, and which is why you have so many peeved people. Keep your judgments to yourself and find someone who fits your criteria. and leave everyone who doesn't alone, I'm sure they'd like that anyway.

[Shudder]

when i had classes that early i wouldn't really care about how i look either. most people are still half asleep by the time the class starts

[randomgirl59]

Oh yes, another user mentioned this too. She could be trying to go for that intentionally messy yet sexy look that is all over the magazines nowadays. Messy hair that probably takes a team of hairstylists hours to misplace every single strand. So maybe she's trying to pull it off but its not working.

 

Do you see why its harmful to people, and women especially, to tell them to look a certain way? Look like this, you'll get guys, look like that you wont get guys. Then you have a large group of guys, moreso younger guys who think the world is their oyster, get so damn vocal about what they think women should look like when really its just their own preferences. OP thinks this girl is too messy, but in another thread, another user was saying a woman looked too flashy and it made her look high maintenance and tacky.

 

LEAVE US ALONE and keep your entitled judgments to yourself. I have my preferences about what I like a guy to look like, but I dont go criticizing each guy who doesn't fit the image of my perfect man, because men aren't here just to please my visual senses.