mollco Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 My bf of three months, who I wrote about earlier, is still making dates with other girls online. I found out because one of my friends was out at a bar last night and saw him go to meet a girl at a bar. It clearly wasn't just a friend. The girl he met had been sitting at the bar for a few minutes obviously expecting someone and then he showed up. It was clear that it was their first meeting. Apparently it didn't go well because she left after one drink with him while he sat there looking dejected. Our relationship is an LDR and I thought it was decent. He must think that because we're in different cities he can get away with this. I am heartsick. I haven't been able to bring it up with him yet. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 dump him via text message and don't tell him the reason why. lol Link to comment
BriarRose Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Dump him. And find someone local, LDR's don't work. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Why are you sure it wasn't a friend? Link to comment
mollco Posted June 15, 2010 Author Share Posted June 15, 2010 It wasn't a friend. He came up and asked if she was so and so and they shook hands. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Sounds like he's "shopping around," I wouldn't put anymore time and effort into this one. Link to comment
russ978 Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Dear [bOYFRIEND], we've had some fun times together...but I've found someone that makes me so much happier. I don't see much of a reason for us to talk about it, please don't contact me as my new boyfriend gets kind of jealous. ___ If he responds back with some oddness, just let him know "I hate to be blunt, but he pretty much makes me orgasm just by looking at me. Please leave me alone" __ Hate to say it, but he kind of deserves the cold shoulder. That or just don't take any of his calls and if he shows up, ignore him. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Yeah, that is one of the dangers of starting out LDR so early on, without a good baseline of knowing the person on a day to day basis. My opinion, yeah, no question it isn't worth sticking around for! But I think you should go out with class. Why? Bc why the hell not. You took a chance, he turned out early to be a stinker, now you know and can not waste more time making the same mistakes over again. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 I'm with everyone else.. kick him to the curb. Link to comment
turnera Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 I like the note. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he'll learn something. Link to comment
misssmithviii Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Yeah, he's not worth any more of your time. You can be sure he has no consideration or respect for you or the "relationship" - if it were me I'd say "Hey I couldn't help but notice that I deserve better and it's no offense to you but I want what's best for me, that's not you. Never contact me again, and have a nice life." I would be quite apathetic towards a guy who would date another girl while claiming to be with me. Link to comment
mollco Posted June 15, 2010 Author Share Posted June 15, 2010 All of you are right. What's so hurtful is that we have all sorts of plans to attend events in the fall (weddings and stuff) and we are planning a vacation together. I guess he's just fronting with me and still trying to get some on the side. I'm so sad. Link to comment
jengh Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Oh I'm sorry. I've been there and being cheated on in an LDR is rough. Dump him, you deserve so much better. LDRs CAN work, but they take a lot of effort from both parties. Unfortunately, it appears he thought this meant a free-for-all for him. I'm kind of passive aggressive and would hunt him down on the dating site but that's just me. Link to comment
Clarity Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Before I side with everybody else, has he been your "boyfriend" for 3 months (i.e. it's been 3months since you were officially BF and GF, had the exclusivity talk, etc.) or have you been dating for 3 months? Has there been an exclusivity talk? Link to comment
mollco Posted June 15, 2010 Author Share Posted June 15, 2010 Before I side with everybody else, has he been your "boyfriend" for 3 months (i.e. it's been 3months since you were officially BF and GF, had the exclusivity talk, etc.) or have you been dating for 3 months? Has there been an exclusivity talk? After the second week he asked me to be his "woman." That's his quirky way of speaking. I accepted. His friends and family all know me as his girl, so yes. Link to comment
Clarity Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 After the second week he asked me to be his "woman." That's his quirky way of speaking. I accepted. His friends and family all know me as his girl, so yes. What a jerk! Hopefully you can take some solace in the fact that you were able to find out so early... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Ew...what a jerk. Since exclusivity has been established, there is NO excuse for his behavior. Dump him via txt message or something and just totally brush him off. He doesn't deserve ANY of your time or consideration. I'd probably send him a nasty little email...tell him he was bad in the sack and you just can't take that crap anymore. This will make him harbor insecurity that will last a long time. Link to comment
Clarity Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I disagree with others who say to do something mean to him. Take the high road. Dump him and be honest about why and then go into NC - you will feel better for it in the long run rather than the cheap thrill of revenge. Link to comment
mollco Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 I have no desire for revenge. I'm quite heartbroken--haven't even reached the anger stage yet. I'm feeling foolish but will get over it. I'm going to call him later tonight and tell him why we're through. I kind of want an explanation, but don't think it'll do any good to hear what he has to say about it. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I think if you present him with the evidence (of what you heard) then he'd be a total idiot NOT to come clean about it. Maybe some closure will help but then again...you know what happened so it's not like he can change anything. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I have no desire for revenge. I'm quite heartbroken--haven't even reached the anger stage yet. I'm feeling foolish but will get over it. I'm going to call him later tonight and tell him why we're through. I kind of want an explanation, but don't think it'll do any good to hear what he has to say about it. $5 says he comes up with some kind of lame explanation as to why your friend saw him at the bar with random woman. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 $5 says he comes up with some kind of lame explanation as to why your friend saw him at the bar with random woman. I agree completely. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.