Is there such thing as "too comfortable" with your partner?

[Fudgie]

Just trying to generate a discussion here.

 

Is there such thing as being "too comfortable" with your partner? When I say too comfortable...I mean having no TMI, you're not embarrassed by anything your partner does, bodily functions/health problems may be discussed in detail...nothing is off-limits!

 

Do you guys think it's possible to be "too comfortable" in this way with your partner, or is it a good thing?

 

I'm very comfortable with my boyfriend but I think it's because we both have health problems that affect us a lot so we are used to talking about it. He even buys me health products (like Prep H) when I need them and it's not weird at all.

 

Let me know your thoughts!

[botticelli]

I think I fit into the "too comfortable" category as well! (Sorry if this next thing is TMI) My SO and I don't even mind having the other in the bathroom while we are doing 'number 2.' I guess it sounds creepy but our mentality is that it's natural and that society makes it out to be gross when it actually shouldn't be.

 

In my opinion, it's a good thing to be that comfortable mutually.

[arwen]

I like being THAT comfortable. When you live together/are married... it's hard when you're not comfortable enough. In a long term relationship, it's unavoidable that you'll occasionally have a red nose full of green stuff, or worse, you'll have a stomach flu and well, you'll share a bathroom and he'll hear or see you

 

What I like is that we can laugh about the times we were sick in retrospect, and forget those times when necessary (ehm, not something you want to spend time thinking about in bed of course).

 

I know a couple who both had similar health problems (Crohn illness), and they could really help each other like no one else could. I think it's a good thing to be very comfortable. But it's a fine balance; there needs to be space for excitement, new stuff, to keep things interesting

[arwen]

I think I fit into the "too comfortable" category as well! (Sorry if this next thing is TMI) My SO and I don't even mind having the other in the bathroom while we are doing 'number 2.' I guess it sounds creepy but our mentality is that it's natural and that society makes it out to be gross when it actually shouldn't be.

 

In my opinion, it's a good thing to be that comfortable mutually.

 

lol... ok, so I am not THAT comfortable. We even ask each other to not be anywhere near the toilet when bigger stuff has to happen

[Fudgie]

I think I fit into the "too comfortable" category as well! (Sorry if this next thing is TMI) My SO and I don't even mind having the other in the bathroom while we are doing 'number 2.' I guess it sounds creepy but our mentality is that it's natural and that society makes it out to be gross when it actually shouldn't be.

 

In my opinion, it's a good thing to be that comfortable mutually.

 

Haha, it's fine, me and my SO are like that too. I often need to brush my teeth when he's in there, and then he just talks to me while he's on the toilet! I think it's kind of funny.

 

I like being comfortable too.

[sidehop]

Haha, it's fine, me and my SO are like that too. I often need to brush my teeth when he's in there, and then he just talks to me while he's on the toilet! I think it's kind of funny.

 

I like being comfortable too.

 

My sister and I had this conversation, I was like "sure when she's doing #1 I just bust in and start talking"...and she laughs, "You guys don't talk to each other doing #2?" I'm like WHAT?! She then says "ya I get bored so I bring my hubby in and we start talking."

 

lol...I guess there are different levels in comfort.

[Sanesoul]

There's few things in my house that are too uncomfortable. With hubby, we do everything in front of each other. We've been together for 11 years and will be together for the rest of our lives, so I think it's silly to be afraid to just "be" around each other.

 

Of course...hubby does use his "number 2" time for his quiet time. It's the only time he really gets alone, so I try to let him have that.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Eh, it's a personal preference.

 

I'm sure it'll all go to hell once we have kids and we'll stop caring. But, I really really appreciate it when my boyfriend keeps the language down, doesn't say gross words, and tries not to release any gas around me.

 

If he does, no big deal.

 

If he just freely does it without caring about what I think, that's unneeded and unwanted.

[Scorpion Fury]

I'm comfortable with my current boyfriend, but I still try to be somewhat of a lady around him and keep my feminine mystique. I don't announce my bodily functions or go into detail about my period or anything. I shower in front of him and walk around naked and stuff, but I wouldn't just rip a huge fart in front of him on purpose and act like it's the thing to do. That's just how I am though. But he will take a crap with the door open, fart in front of me, try to give me a dutch oven, whatever else he feels like. I actually don't mind. I just don't reciprocate.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I think being comfortable with each other is a wonderful thing. And if witnessing "no. 2" works for both of you, so much the better.

 

When I think of the term "too comfortable," the biggest issue that hits me is taking each other for granted. Sure, it's great to be comfortable with each other, as long as that doesn't detract from what brought you together in the first place. Signs of love. Doing little things for each other without being asked. A kiss out of nowhere. A pinch. A hug. A wink.

 

If you get so comfortable that you never think of doing occasional, caring things for each other, well, I think that's the short road to a failing relationship. Before you know it, you'll be watching your belching, farting, worthless, do nothing, pain-in-the-*ss good 'ole buddy doing a no. 2, and it just won't be as cute anymore...

[teabee]

I'm enjoying reading all these answers!

 

I love love the "getting comfy" progression a relationship goes through. I felt quite pleased when my bf first started peeing with the door open and passing gas in front of me, haha. I'm with Scorpion in that I still try to be a lady around him. If I accidentally pass gas, it doesn't embarrass me in the least, but I don't just let one rip. I've ended up telling him more than I normally would about periods, yeast infections, etc. because he asks detailed questions and nothing seems to gross him out, but I do wonder if I'm damaging my sexiness ever so slightly the more he knows. I try to hold back with certain things. He doesn't need to know about my tonsil stones or find out how I sound or smell when taking a poop!

[WomanWriter]

I love that. It is common in my relationships for us to talk to each other about poop, being in the bathroom together during # 2, and even discussing the contents of our vomit (what color it was, etc....lol).

 

Personally, I find this romantic. It seems like it wouldn't be, but I feel a close romantic connection to someone who I can trust enough to share the most inimate details of my life with. As long as there is that physical chemistry, I don't think sharing personal information is a turn-off at all. It is actually a turn on for me.

 

I think there is such a thing as too comfortable..but I don't think of it in terms of sharing personal information. I think of it in terms of taking the other person for granted. When you start to disrespect someone and expect them to do things for you that you yourself could do, you become unhealthy. You get so comfortable that you can treat your partner however you feel in the moment. You no longer put effort into your relationship, thinking of ways to make it grow and change. You no longer take their needs into consideration. You just expect/take instead of appreciate/give.

 

I really think the level of verbal intimacy you share is irrelevant unless it involves abusive language, cussing at each other, or yelling. Just sharing personal things is not too comfortable. It's more about how much you still respect and admire your partner after all the time together, faults and all. It's being aware of how great your partner is and not just seeing them as a fixture that you can just treat them however because they'll always be around.

[SocialStigma]

I love the fact that I'm comfortable with my boyfriend. We talk on the phone while in the bathroom, he tells me if he's constipated/has diarrhea and what it looks like so I can "diagnose" him haha, we fart/burp in front of each other, pick each other's eye junk/boogers etc. Never had a chance to go to the bathroom together as we are LD and don't live together. But I look forward to the day where we can go to the bathroom in front of each other

 

All of this just means that you are confident enough in the relationship to know that farting in their presence won't make them go "ew! you're disgusting!" and dump you.

[_Asti_]

I am definitely in the 'too comfortable' category, but I don't think its a negative thing. Although there are moments where I have a complete freak out over some thing, and the next time be totally fine with it.

[hers]

Wow, I'm the only one in the minority I guess! I can't stand the "too comfortable" feeling...I am not, well, comfortable with that. My boyfriend farts constantly, and he seems to be the gassiest after sex. So I had to make a rule--no farting while naked. It's just so unsexy to me. We live together now and we have a studio apartment. It's very teeny, so sometimes bathroom things happen when we're both here, but I'm not comfortable pooping around him or hearing him poop. I try to wait to poop till he leaves, even though he hardly worries about taht with me. I'm just weird, I guess.

 

I do, however, love to pop zits, so I'll always pop his on his back, if he ever gets them. And i hate how long he keeps his toenails, so I file them down for him. So maybe on some level we're comfortable, but when it comes to pooping and farting, I'm not. I'll fart around him sometimes, but not all that much...

 

Still the minority, though, I'm sure!

[Catdancer]

A friend was a single mom, raising her daughter. Daughter was about 8 or 9 at the time. Mom and her bf were getting pretty serious and discussing marriage. Daughter looked her straight in the eye and said "have you farted in front of him? If you cant fart in front of him, then you arent ready to get married."

 

lol...from the mouths of babes. lol But she's right. So, I use that as a gauge now. If we can fart, burp and poop without being embarassed, then it's marriage material. lol

[Cognitive_Canine]

Are you me?!?!

 

I have to pop zits. I have to....And I pluck my boyfriends eyebrows (to his unentertained grunts). I get it from my mother. Whenever there was something out of place, my mom would pluck and prod me. She wouldn't let me leave the house without popping any blemishes and sticking a Q-tip in my ear to clean.

 

My boyfriend is a very put together guy. He dresses very sharply and doesn't pass gas or anything around me. When he uses the restroom, he puts on the fan so I can't even hear him. I generally tease him about that but he knows I appreciate his efforts to keep things classy.

[Miss Firecracker]

I'm not too comfortable reading this thread, lol.

 

I think it's fine to be as close as you like, but I do have a few boundaries. I close the door when I'm in the bathroom, no matter what I am doing...even hair and makeup or brushing my teeth. I just need a little space in that area.

[Jd1983]

I am pretty comfortable with my partner, in the sense that we can talk about anything and everything.

 

He's told me that I was the nastiest girl he's even been with or the most unladylike, but it's good because I'm comfortable enough to do so in front of him.

[Fudgie]

Wow, I thought that my bf and I were the only ones to do the "open bathroom door" thing. He does it so his dogs (one is especially needy) can see him and know where he is. He's done both numbers with the door open but I don't mind. I won't do number 2 with the door open though...I get really embarrassed by that.

[teabee]

LOL at JD: the most unladylike girl he's been with. That gave me a laugh. My boyfriend has said similar things.

 

Fudgie, I also laughed about the needy pet. That's sweet that he leaves the door open for the dog haha.

[Fudgie]

LOL at JD: the most unladylike girl he's been with. That gave me a laugh. My boyfriend has said similar things.

 

Fudgie, I also laughed about the needy pet. That's sweet that he leaves the door open for the dog haha.

 

Yeah, he's got two dogs, one male and one female. Both are VERY well behaved and are from the pound but the female one was abused and now is so needy and clingy. She clings to my boyfriend as well as me. I love her to bits though!

 

This sounds weird but the doggie and I used to be "rivals". We'd "compete" for the same spot next to my boyfriend and at first she didn't like me too much, but now she finds that I give her lots of attention/snuggle with her in the morning, so now she follows me everywhere!

 

she's a naughty girl...She ripped apart a couch cushion recently. When my boyfriend growled at her and said "BAD GIRL!" she runs upstairs, throws herself on the bed, and cries "raow raow raow!"

[Lamour detruit]

No. I would appreciate my girlfriend not sharing such things with me. There is such a thing as too comfortable. I don't need to hear all the details about diarrhea or what not, I do not need to be in the same bathroom while she does number two, and I prefer not hearing her fart too much. Not that I would be disgusted and would be too opposed to it happenening occasionally..as long as it doesn't happen too much. That said, doing number one while in the bathroom..is fine.

 

I am all for being comfortable, but that is too much. I do the same for her, and do not do such things in her proximity.

[arcadefire]

I think certain bathroom things should be kept in the bathroom (peeing, pooping), but normal every day things you are comfortable doing around family, like farting, I find that a good level of comfort.