I cant seem to find anyone??

[Betty79]

I am almost 31 and have been single for about 9 months now but just cant seem to meet anyone else. Its a bank holiday weekend here and most of my friends have gone away with their boyfriends or are busy. I have things to do like chores and shopping but no one to go out with in the night. I know pubs and clubs are probably not the best place to meet someone but it always makes me anxious whem im sat in at night on the weekend, i feel as though im missing out on an opportunity. Dont get me wrong I do get out for a night our probably about once a month but it doesnt seem enough.

 

I go to the gym and fitness classes in the evenings during the week and have a full time job but there is nobody there. I just dont know what else to do. It seems a bit sill to take up some other class like photography or something just in the hope of meeting someone as there will probably only be about 10 other people there.

 

I have tried the online thing and went on 2 dates bet neither worked out. I am not really too keen on it and would rather just meet someone i like through the normal way but I just cant seem to find anyone. What am I doing wrong? It feels like life will plod along in this way forever!!

[agent1607307371]

Have you asked your friends if they know anyone you might get along with?

 

Also, do you have things you like to do just because? Not because you might meet someone through them?

[sidehop]

I agree with Agent, networking will be wonderful.

 

Are there any other interests you have that you'll have a chance to meet group of people? It doesn't necessarily have to be just guys, who knows who you can meet through new friends you create that share similar interests.

[Betty79]

Yes I have asked my friends but they dont really know of anyone at the moment, all of their male friends are taken!

[Hermes]

Betty:

 

You seem to have life quite well organized, including your gym regime. You are right that pubs and clubs are not exactly the most appropriate place to meet someone, and well, like you, I would not be too enthusiastic about the online dating thing. You are, I think, in the U.K. and I know there is a myriad of outdoor clubs and associations which organize activities in beautiful places in the country. Or maybe join some volunteering group? You would certainly meet a lot of people in one of these.

Just a few thoughts...

 

H

[Betty79]

Betty:

 

You are, I think, in the U.K. and I know there is a myriad of outdoor clubs and associations which organize activities in beautiful places in the country.

H

 

I do like being outdoors...what sort of clubs are you thinking of?

[Hermes]

Betty you may have seen all those programmes "Countryfile", which give excellent tips about walking in the Yorkshire fells, in the Lake district, parts of Wales. Have a look online. And then there are interesting trips doing the older train routes in England Also, by contacting the Tourist Office (or maybe Town Hall) in any given area you might like, they would have lots of info on activities in their area.

 

H

[Batya33]

I think you are mistaking quantity for quality - even if a class only has 5 people, if you have things in common that's great and those 5 people are far more likely to have people to introduce you to than 50 people you meet at a club because you already have common interests.

 

What about joining a community theater group and doing backstage work or doing volunteer work? Or go to singles events that are at night on the weekend - I went to many of those by myself, promised myself I could leave after 45 minutes if I wasn't comfortable and tried to talk to at least 3 people in that time. Just a suggestion - good luck!

[bulletproof]

I think you are mistaking quantity for quality - even if a class only has 5 people, if you have things in common that's great and those 5 people are far more likely to have people to introduce you to than 50 people you meet at a club because you already have common interests.

 

Totally agree with this- dating seems to be a numbers game in the sense that the more people you are exposed to, the better your chances are of finding someone to date. Don't join something like a photography class because there might actually be single guys in the class- join because you love photography and will meet new friends that may open up whole new social groups to you.

[Betty79]

Thanks everyone, I know there is a group called city socialising run in my city. They meet up for drinks, restaurants, cinema, lots of things really. It seems to be a lot of people around my age who are new to the area or whose friends have all settled down and are looking to meet new people. I might give that a go. It feels a little sad in some ways though having to resort to this sort of thing. As though Im billy no mates...

[LightbulbSun]

Have you tried single groups in your area?

 

Speed dating is also a great way to meet people; however, it doesn't work for those who are introverted and/or shy. So if you're that, best stay away from speed dating!

[Betty79]

Have you tried single groups in your area?

 

Speed dating is also a great way to meet people; however, it doesn't work for those who are introverted and/or shy. So if you're that, best stay away from speed dating!

 

I wouldn't say I was really shy but not the most outgoing either, prob somewhere in between. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to things such as speed dating or singles group alone. I know a few people who have gone to such things and did not find then enjoyable and wouldn't want to go again. I would do something like an activity or class alone however.

[Batya33]

I wouldn't say I was really shy but not the most outgoing either, prob somewhere in between. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to things such as speed dating or singles group alone. I know a few people who have gone to such things and did not find then enjoyable and wouldn't want to go again. I would do something like an activity or class alone however.

 

For me the benefit of meeting someone outweighed the downsides of going to a singles event alone (which is also why I gave myself the time limit of 30-45 minutes). I think you should give it more of a chance.