do women in relationships masturbate?

[kombatarts99]

here it goes: wife and I are having problems and trying to work it out. We have not had sex in two months and tells me tonight her area is hurting. I said why she said she was masturbating Saturday and wants my advice on why it hurts. My question is why would she tell me that? I never thought she masturbated and now im really upset because I know she is thinking of someone ahile she is doing it, won't have sex with me and then tells me about. any advice on why she would tell me that is helpful. thanks.

[rosephase]

men and women masterbait in and out of relationships. Do you masterbait? It's not a big deal.

[petite]

It's hard to know the meaning behind her actions. Since you haven't been intimate for some time it could either be her way or starting trouble or letting you know that she was doing something sexual without you. If she says something like that again and you're not comfortable with hearing about it, tell her you simply don't want to know. As for her seeking advice from you, seems like she just wanted to get you upset rather than anything else. Oh, and to answer your original question, yes women just like men masturbate when in relationships. It also doesn't mean they are thinking of someone else.

[blackdog280]

She wants to rip your heart out!

[absinthe]

I think it's time the two of you start communicating. That you've never discussed masturbation in a marriage of how long, says that the two of you haven't been very real with each other.

 

The best person to ask is her. Lay it all out on the table. Why would you discuss masturbation with me when you're refusing my sexual advances?

[yeawutever]

Yes we do but don't really like talking about it to our man due to embarrassment and in so many double-standard worlds, we're suppose to be the suppressed, puritanical gender (typical boring church girl who hates masturbating and has no sex drive at all). In some places, if we talk about it then horrible labels are placed on us.

[HouseKitten]

Oh lord. Masturbation is completely healthy both in and out of relationships. My boyfriend and I both masturbate without the other person and sometimes discuss it afterwards.

 

Talking about sexual actions can be a turn on - is it at all possible that your wife wasn't trying to hurt you so much as show you that she's trying to be more sexual and more open with you? If you've never even discussed masturbation before, despite being married, then sexual honesty is perhaps something you're missing.

 

Also, it does not follow that if she masturbated alone, she must have been thinking of someone else. If it really bothers you that she might have been, talk to her about it! Ask her what she likes to think about, not in an accusatory manner but in a curious one.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yep. I do. It's healthy and natural. Your partner isn't always going to be in the mood (which is of course natural in today's fast paced world) and you might have to help yourself. Same goes for guys.

 

I can, however, understand why if you AREN'T having sex and she is doing it where it could cause problems. My ex was like that. Said no to me, but would wank one out whenever. It does make you wander. I'd suggust talking to her and if the lines of communication aren't that good, counseling as a last resort if it bothers you that much.

[metrogirl]

Why are you so sure she is thinking of someone else when she masterbates?

[Arabella314]

She's probably telling you because she wants to be open with you about it. I think that's good.

[kombatarts99]

Why are you so sure she is thinking of someone else when she masterbates?

 

Because she had an affair with a friend of hers, that I found out she is secretly seeing while saying she is trying to work out with me. I'm trying to figure out if she said it to upset me or be more open with me

[Taikero]

Because she had an affair with a friend of hers, that I found out she is secretly seeing while saying she is trying to work out with me. I'm trying to figure out if she said it to upset me or be more open with me

 

She said it to disrespect and upset you. "I'm sorry, but you can't have this even when we're not having sex because I'm pleasing myself with him in mind."

 

That's just cold.

[MD Geist]

Everybody masturbates and if they say otherwise they are full of it.

[babii doll]

Everybody masturbates and if they say otherwise they are full of it.

 

not everyone masturbates, i dont.

[kombatarts99]

she says she wasn't thinking about that it might upset me, appologized but I am still not sure about it. Is it possible to overstimulate yourself? she said she is sore but how can she be sore with masturbation? is that possible?

[greywolf]

Masturbation is completely normal. I think you're focusing on the wrong thing. The real problem is your sex life together. I suggest that you try to talk to your wife about how you feel about it.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Because she had an affair with a friend of hers, that I found out she is secretly seeing while saying she is trying to work out with me. I'm trying to figure out if she said it to upset me or be more open with me

 

Ah, the plot thickens. Is this the reason for the estrangement? I'd guess her reasoning is at least somewhat based on where ever the two of you are in reconciling. If things are going poorly, she probably said it to hurt you. If things are going okay, it may have been a playful come on to get you to inspect her private area. I've never had a clitoris, or a vagina, or a vulva for that matter. But I know I've made Mr. Happy sore on a few occasions...too much enthusiasm, I suppose.

[Devchonka]

Masturbation is completely normal. I think you're focusing on the wrong thing. The real problem is your sex life together. I suggest that you try to talk to your wife about how you feel about it.

 

And FYI: Not everyone needs an image to think of when they masterbate.

[Juxtapoz]

i have to masterbate. i can't think of anything else that works like both coffee and a sleep aid.

[kombatarts99]

Ah, the plot thickens. Is this the reason for the estrangement? I'd guess her reasoning is at least somewhat based on where ever the two of you are in reconciling. If things are going poorly, she probably said it to hurt you. If things are going okay, it may have been a playful come on to get you to inspect her private area. I've never had a clitoris, or a vagina, or a vulva for that matter. But I know I've made Mr. Happy sore on a few occasions...too much enthusiasm, I suppose.

 

Last night she said she just asked because she now feels that she is starting be open up to me. she wasn't thinking it would hurt me, but obv it does as were not having sex and thats another issue for a diff section but I told her to go to the doctor. she made the appt today. she is 31 and has never had a pap done so I told her she needs to get that done.

[Kumatora]

Everybody masturbates and if they say otherwise they are full of it.

 

Be VERY careful with this comment. Some religious practices and cultures forbid masturbating, no matter how many people find it "normal." If a person chooses to withdraw from masturbation because of cultural/religious reasons, I'm sorry but they are not full of it.

 

she made the appt today. she is 31 and has never had a pap done so I told her she needs to get that done.

Uh yea she definitely needs to get it done. Women can get cervical cancer as early as the age of 20.

 

As for fantasizing about other people while masturbating or having sex, that's really a private matter not to pry in. It's asking for a lot of trouble there and it's best to drop it.

[Taikero]

Be VERY careful with this comment. Some religious practices and cultures forbid masturbating, no matter how many people find it "normal." If a person chooses to withdraw from masturbation because of cultural/religious reasons, I'm sorry but they are not full of it.

 

In my experience, most of those who profess to do so publicly for religious reasons don't privately. So yes, in my experience I would say that for the most part people are full of it when they say they don't masturbate.

[kombatarts99]

She said today she is still irritated from Saturday. Sounds suspicious to me. sounds like Vd, she says it prob is a yeast infection, which she has never had one. What does everyone think?

[Taikero]

I think until you know what it is, I wouldn't have sex with her, and I would ask her not to masturbate if she thinks it's a yeast infection (that makes it worse).

[Miss Firecracker]

I don't mean disrespect to any religion, but I think if someone says they never do it...well, I don't want to say they are lying but...I would wonder if they were.

 

Anyway, to the question, do women in relationships masturbate, my answer is YES.