newwave Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I have several profiles on dating sites. I'm not really interested in dating anyone now but have them to lurk mostly on these sites. They are bare bones info and no photo. Besides, I am still in love with the one guy and it wouldn't be fair to start any serious relationship until that resolves itself (and until I am completely healed if it doesn't resolve to my expectation). Even so, still doesn't stop guys emailing me. So anyway the other day a guy not far from me emailed me. I saw his profile and he seemed like someone who'd be a perfect match if I wasn't hurting. He seems to like the same things, never married but wants to, 41, etc. I emailed him back and said things I liked. Generally speaking I ignore guys who email me on these sites because I'm really not looking now but this guy seemed different. Anyway, today I got a message saying "since you didn't get back to me, I am blocking you". He only emailed me the other day and I don't frequent the site often. I tried to respond but the message said he blocked me. Very bizarre because he seemed like the only one I'd actually want to seriously date. Is this behavior common on dating sites? I had problems on another free dating site where I stated I was looking for never married guys with no kids, and got these guys sending nasty emails then blocking me. I ended up deleting my profile. If the one Ilike doesn't come back, and I don't find someone else this summer I am trying the paid sites in the early fall (I hope to have a boyfriend by next Christmas). Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 i've had that happen to me a few times as well. very odd. i'd say he has a pretty huge chip on his shoulder, i know why he is single!! how long did you not reply to his email for? Link to comment
newwave Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 i've had that happen to me a few times as well. very odd. i'd say he has a pretty huge chip on his shoulder, i know why he is single!! how long did you not reply to his email for? About two days. I think the message said May 2 and I replied May 4th. He seemed so nice, but I probably dodged a bullet with him (he's probably got more problems than the one I want). Btw, I know someone will ask why do I have an online dating profile without being serious and part of it had to do with the guy I like. When he told me he didn't want a relationship I was devastated so I was lurking to see if I could see better (and I did). Also, I briefly thought about dating guys to heal my hurt, and I thought that would be cruel because if a guy was looking for a serious relationship it wouldn't be fair to casually date someone with no future (at least for now). Kind of like a boost to me but I decided against it. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 If someone is that hyper about reply times and trigger-happy about blocking, he's likely too oversensitive to be good relationship material anyway. Last thing you need is a guy with a chip who's ready to see a slight in every pause. That's not workable. Link to comment
newwave Posted May 9, 2010 Author Share Posted May 9, 2010 If someone is that hyper about reply times and trigger-happy about blocking, he's likely too oversensitive to be good relationship material anyway. Last thing you need is a guy with a chip who's ready to see a slight in every pause. That's not workable. Yeah, he sounded like he had issues when he sent that email. I definitely don't need a guy with that many problems off the bat. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Whoa, sorry about the guy. He really sounds like he has issues though so you probably dodged a bullet. Honestly, I've seen a lot of the "I'm blocking you" messages from people. The most common behaviour on online dating sites is when you lose interest in someone or just start to think that you're not compatible, the emails just stop or taper off. What this guy did is highly unusual. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 i remember i got an email from a guy i found interesting on a friday. i read the email. i was going to answer him but i got caught up with some other stuff (it was a busy weekend) and when i went on monday to email him, he blocked me! sheesh. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 I never block anyone on dating sites unless they have been rude to me off the bat or I have found that we aren't compatible (and I try to explain that) and they keep contacting me. One turd of a man found me ages ago. I have NO idea what turned him on to me. He was all "buff" because he was an ex pro-something sports person. His profile revealed many misspellings and that he wanted kids - a no-no for me. He emailed me with some "sexy" comment and I replied that I was sorry, but I didn't feel we weren't compatible because of the children issue. He replies with "awww why not?? r u fixed???? thats so sad!" I thought it was highly inappropriate for him to pry like that so quickly into the state of my uterus, so I emailed him back and said "I'm not interested. Thank you." and blocked that sucker! I have so many stupid stories from my time using online dating. I am SO glad I am with my boyfriend now. People out there can be so WEIRD, lol. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Blocking people on dating sites and Facebook.....the "electronic temper tantrum"! Link to comment
newwave Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 I remember, I did block one guy who kept emailing me the strangest emails. He'd be sweet then ask sexual comments. His sexual comments got more and more freaky, such as "if I beat you during sex would you be turned on". Someone mentioned grammar, and that is a major turn off with me as well. I realize sometimes people write fast and a word is twisted around. I've done it myself. However when you have sentences after sentences of poor grammar along with "r" and "u" then no, not my type. I would assume he'd probably not be very intelligent (sorry) and definitely not my type. Link to comment
sidehop Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Two days...someone really is impatient Yes I hate netspeak too; especially if you're on a dating site or writing a formal email of any sort, get with the program! It does make a person sound lazy and not intelligent. Link to comment
newwave Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 That reminds me of a situation like that, except this guy already had kids and wanted more. On my profile I think it said might want kids. So this guy emailed me asking if I'd be interested in having kids. I said depends (this was many years ago). He then told me about his kids and said he couldn't wait to have more (I think he had 4 kids by two different women). When I said I don't date guys with kids he said "why, not, I thought you said you might want kids". Sure, my own kids, not someone else's! He called me a child hater. I actually got many guys with kids who told me I was so evil because I do not date guys with kids. Another guy actually asked me if I could have kids, because he doesn't date women who are infertile. I told him I don't know 100% if I can have kids because some so called fertile women are unable to conceive and some who are supposedly infertile have babies. I do find in general (from doing online and lurking) that the majority of the guys on the sites (including the 40 year old guys) do list "yes" or "maybe" about having kids. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 well, i could also call a man evil for not dating a woman who is plus-sized. but at the end of the day, we all have our preferences, right? Link to comment
newwave Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 well, i could also call a man evil for not dating a woman who is plus-sized. but at the end of the day, we all have our preferences, right? Very true. I notice many of the same guys who insult women for not dating them are the same ones who have strong preferences too (just like everyone). Link to comment
Fudgie Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yeah I've been told "no thanks" because of my no-kids policy and stuff, but I would never jump down their throats and attack them because they are moving on. It's a good thing really...if they weren't happy with me, I would probably not be happy either. We all have preferences. Link to comment
newwave Posted May 10, 2010 Author Share Posted May 10, 2010 Yeah I've been told "no thanks" because of my no-kids policy and stuff, but I would never jump down their throats and attack them because they are moving on. It's a good thing really...if they weren't happy with me, I would probably not be happy either. We all have preferences. I forget if I asked you in another thread, but do you get these nasty emails too? I don't know why these guys waste their time sending emails to people trying to get them to change their mind. Sometimes we change our minds when serious about a person (I know people who never wanted to marry or have kids and ended up doing both) but I doubt a stranger will change our minds. I'm not interested in dating guys with kids, and I doubt that will change. Has nothing to do with my liking kids (which I do like kids), though I've gotten guys calling me a child hater because I don't date dads. As far as I'm concerned as long as there are never married guys without kids, I don't need to change my mind. There are many guys who don't want kids either (though I've seen there seems to be more guys online wanting kids) so you don't have to change your mind either. Link to comment
Casperlady Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Wow it sounds like you dodged a bullet there. I have blocked a few people the reasons being they were either rude or way too old. I have been blocked by one guy no reason why, we sent a few messages back and fourth he was heading to a rugby match in England and said we would talk about meeting when he got back, I sent him an email saying hope ya have a good time, the next time I tried messaging he had me blocked. And then sent me a very very rude message not giving out to me but as interested in one thing but he still had me blocked was so weird lol Link to comment
newwave Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 I just had a guy send me a strange email and I might block him. He asked for another photo. I told him I'd send him another photo, and he said "you better, or I will spank you". Maybe I am overreacting, but this is a strange thing to say to someone you spoke to once. Link to comment
Shallow Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I just had a guy send me a strange email and I might block him. He asked for another photo. I told him I'd send him another photo, and he said "you better, or I will spank you". Maybe I am overreacting, but this is a strange thing to say to someone you spoke to once. Yes. That should be reserved for at least the second date. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 that could just be his sense of humor? that's the problem with email, sometimes jokes don't translate because there's not the tone of voice, or facial expressions to know when something is a joke... Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 For all of the men who contribute to the theories of OLD and can go on to state emphatically that "most women have full in boxes and therefore inflated egos" . (I wish I had a dollar for every time I read this) I will ask you, how do you know? Where exactly are you getting your information? Do you have access to our pc's? Do you have access to our calendars chocked full of these supposed dates we have? Or is possible when a woman strings you along and doesn't respond, she just may not be that into you? If a man didn't respond to me I wouldn't automatically assume that he has better options. I would assume he's not interested, period. You'll are going off of assumptions! If you reeeealllly, really want to know what OLD is like for women, why don't you just ask us? I can't possibly assume what it's like for a man because I don't have crystal ball and I don't read minds. So I will trust you when you tell me what it's like for you. How about the same in return? "A girl might not want to go on a date because her emotions are out of whack that day for whatever reason." I honestly tried to read through this post with an open mind and with some empathy but he lost me at this line early on. That and other things I won't mention because it might not sound nice AND if we women are the more fortunate and men are at a disadvantage, how is it you have 5 dates in one weekend? Huh? It just doesn't add up. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I always LOL when I see some "wholesome advice" post and it's littered with descriptions of alpha males vs. beta males, etc. It makes me think of wolves, or gorillas. ME ALPHA MALE, ME STRONG, ME SURROUNDED BY LADIES, *flex muscles* OOGA BOOGA Link to comment
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