i'm getting absolutely nowhere. :-(

[Mustachio]

why is it, after everything she's done, that I am the miserable one who is devestated and feels like he has lost the love of his life and no-one will ever come close?

 

The truth is that I have got rid of a lying, manipulative, long term cheater who made no effort. She, meanwhile, has lost a kind, committed, family orientated, gentle person who gave her everything and yet she feels nothing.

 

I do believe that i deserve better, infact i know i do, but this has shown me that you do not always get what you deserve and you CERTAINLY do not reap what you sow!

 

Because out of the two of you, you are the one that truly has the ability to feel real love, for yourself and others. And your heart is broken.

 

She probably does not possess that ability to truly care for others like you do, so while it may seem like you are super depressed now and she is happy as can be, I would guess that in the long run she doesnt have the capacity to be truly happy and will probably end up living a hollow empty life. You on the other hand will recover from this a better, stronger, happier person.

[Adge]

There is always that honeymoon period Andy. She has found happiness but who knows whether it'll last. You had a 10 year relationship with her and that has to count for something.

 

Jump on the rollercoaster with the rest of us. No sleep, can't eat, can't work effectively, thinking about the ex. It'll get better and when you slowly start to let go of those emotions, someone will come along and absolutely blow you away. You're not ready for that yet, but when it happens, you'll be the happiest man alive!

 

You definitely deserve better. Much better!

[SadAndy]

my mood over the last two days has been quite positive after reading something on here which said write down all of YOUR positive points etc and what YOU have got going for yourself.

Without sounding arrogant, i realised that I am actually in quite a fortunate position and do not have to change a great deal. I only have one regret in my 14 yr relationship and now accept that my ex was totally out of order for her behaviour.

 

I have now reached a feeling where I am sure that the ex will one day regret blowing up what she had. Sadly, and this is my latest problem, i don't think she will. She is so caught up in this new bloke and she has proved that she can switch feelings on and off with little difficulty (2 years worth of affairs) that this is very unlikely to happen.

I know that she would never tell me if she did regret it or miss me but it is important to my recovery that i can believe that she will.

She has now totally forgotten me and from what i am hearing is saying things like 'i should have done this a long time ago' that she must have been genuinely unhappy in our relationship even though it didn't show and she never said anything.

 

Whether she was merely trying to escape from her 'living hell' that she created by leading this double life i don't know but it is very hard on the already fragile self esteem to think that she will never regret leaving what she had and will convince herself that it really was crap, when it wasn't.

 

How can I believe myself to be great when she has convinced herself and others that i'm a tosser?

[Carus]

my mood over the last two days has been quite positive after reading something on here which said write down all of YOUR positive points etc and what YOU have got going for yourself.

Yes I remember someone else telling you to focus on yourself now too

How can I believe myself to be great when she has convinced herself and others that i'm a tosser?

She hasn't convinced me...! I think your a hellova guy to be withstanding this*

 

I've been in the public eye for some years now....I came to realise a long time ago not to give two hoots about what others think of you....There'll always be someone ready to try and cut you down.....

 

Stay Strong

K2*

[SadAndy]

well folks, the last 4 days have actually been quite positive. New house nearly ready!

 

The thing is, my ex is still trying to be 'nice and friendly' in her texts, they're about our daughter or new bloke buying me out of the mortgage etc, but they always contain 'friendly' words and jokey comments etc.

 

The thing is, these are starting to irritate me as she is only doing this as she wants to keep me as a friend to ease her conscience i expect.

 

I cannot bring myself to tell her to 'knock it off' as believe it or not i don't want to hurt her feelings and i need to keep her on side so she is less likely to screw me over child support.

 

Any views?