unhappy_blonde Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 Hi everyone, Newbie here, so please be gentle. I'm in a very desperate situation right now, and any advice/opinions/comments would be greatly appreciated. I've been with my other half for 5 years now and been engaged for nearly 3 years. We met when he was 23 and I was 17. Things were going great the first 4 years but over the last year I've found my physical attraction towards him wavering. I didn't think it would be much of a problem at first, but the problems started when I met a guy who was on the same course as me at college. I thought he was very attractive and he started showing an interest in me. I added him on facebook and we exchanged mobile numbers. We started to text each other and flirt and the flirting became heavier and heavier. My fiancé looked through my phone, found the text messages and broke down in tears. He asked me to delete the guy's number off my phone and to stop texting him. I did. It took me a couple of months to forget about the guy, but recently he started texting me again and my sexual feelings for him started to flood back. I'm very ashamed to say it, but I actually arranged for us to stay in a hotel room together to have sex, but it didn't materialise in the end. So, the problem is that I'm not physically attracted to my fiancé anymore, but he's still very much attracted to me. I don't think we've had sex in 4 months. I've lied and said that my sex drive has decreased because of stress and other factors, but the excuse is running thin now and my fiancé suspects that I'm not physically attracted to him anymore. The thing is, he tells me that I'm the only thing he has in his life right now, and to lose me would be unbearable. When his last relationship ended, he took it very badly and tried to commit suicide, so I'm reluctant to tell him the truth in case he tried again. The weight of this lie is becoming unbearable for me, and I'm sure the situation is very hard for him to deal with. I really don't know what to do right now. Do I tell him the truth or keep on living a lie? Sorry for the lengthy post. Thanks for reading it. Link to comment
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