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how long is too long to call after a 1st date?


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And is it best to call, or send a message/email instead?

 

After a good first date, where I'm interested in still talking, I'll often procrastinate on following up. Sometimes a week or longer to get back in touch. Is this considered rude by women?

 

I very much hate the phone and hate calling people because I hate being disturbed by phone calls myself, and I feel like that's what I do when I call someone. In fact, I don't even like to text for the same reasons. And with my tendency to put off things I don't enjoy doing ... well, it'd be nice to have a good reference for what's considered "normal".

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I would say a good amount of time to contact them if you are interested is within 2-3 days. Anything longer than that, I would assume that he's not interested and keep it moving.

 

A week or longer is definitely a long period of time to keep someone waiting, not a good idea.

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I'm much the same in the respect that I don't like calling or texting because I have an innate ability to call or text at the worst possible time. In my experience if things went well on the first date and you get the impression she'd be receptive to subsequent meetings, just set up the second date at the end of the first and cut out the middle man completely. I think people put way too much emphasis on playing the when to call game, like its some catch-all indication of your courtship prowess. Bottom line if the two of you had fun the first date, set up the second while all the fun you had that night is still fresh in her mind and shes wanting more. Don't give her time to cool off towards you or be propositioned by someone else.

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If it takes a guy longer than 3 days to contact me post a date, then I assume he's not interested. Also though, even if they contact me post date, if they just chat with me and don't ask me out within a week, I will assume they're playing games and not too interested too.

 

Ammy

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I think that you can wait up to a week, as long as you have a justified reason for doing so. Personally, I would really work the angle that you do not like calling or texting and it can put you off so you were giving her the same courtesy.

 

It would seem to me that if youre waiting for her to answer the email then youre just waiting for confirmation that she is interested. If that is how you want to operate then do so, of course she is going to assume that youre less interested because you only emailed but it will depend on the girl how she is going to respond after that.

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Well, it's not so much waiting for her reply so I can confirm if she likes me, it's more that I don't like bombarding a person and like giving people time to think (because that's what I like). It's * * * for tat you know and email just seems like a less intrusive/disturbing way of communicating than calling.

 

But I see your point.

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Whatever you do, don't text her the first time as you'd most likely be shooting yourself in the foot.

 

I'm not much of a phone person either, but I don't mind good conversation with people I really enjoy. She won't mind talking to you if she likes you unless you keep talking when it's obvious she has something to do.

 

There's really no rule of thumb. It really depends on the vibe. Some people can't wait to talk further, get home and they're on the phone for hours after a date. Others wait days to talk.

 

If you really like the girl, try calling her after a date and just making sure she got home safe (if you drove separately). The vibe might be good and you may talk further, or maybe you two just hang up, but at least she'll think it was sweet. Point for you my friend.

 

Nothing the matter with seeing how she's doing the next day or two I guess, but I think if you feel like calling, call. Just don't meet her at a club and call her as soon as you step outside. That's creepy.

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