what is his problem? boyfriend ignoring me

[BCC123]

why would my boyfriend of years just ignore me on a saturday night? i sent him texts saying that it was important and that if he ever loved me hed call me back. i know, im crazy but it was a saturday night and he was out drinking and just completely ignored me all night.

 

he goes to school 45 min away and is in a frat and im thinking of driving up there. * * * is he doing!!

 

its driving me crazy! theres GOT to be a reason to ignore me. and i have trust issues and this is not helping. he wouldnt ignore me for no reason.

[Blue Skittles]

You need to relax, and don't let your trust issues inhibit him from having a night out with the guys.

 

I think one of the biggest lessons I learned from my previous relationships, is that when a guy is having a night out, to leave him alone and not call, or txt, or anything. just let him have his night out. He's not IGNORING you, he's having fun. Its possible he could have left his phone at home. Or if he's in a busy bar or club he may not have heard it ring. Just enjoy your day today, wait for him to call you, go shopping, do things to take your mind off of him.

[tekno]

Ok, this is a life lesson for you. I am going to assume you are what 20 ish? Im 27 and have had crap loads of serious relationships. Im a one of the one girl at a time guys too. He was probably just drunk with a bunch of douche bags. You have too be more confident and trust him or he will more than likely get tired of the conflict and you risk loosing him.

 

First stop tripping. Quit calling and wait for him to call you back. Girls assume guys are doing something wrong if they dont have the phone on all the time but is usually wrong. I leave my phone on silent when with my friends and dont check it but every four hours.

 

If you are pretty and have fun sex often you will have nothing to worry about while he is away. You have to keep his intrest and remind him why he is with you and not the other girls at school. I suggest having wild PROTECTED sex EVERY TIME YOU see him. Dont be a prude cuz if he is even slightly cute some other girl will get with him. Be fun, smart and sexy. safe sex. text him a cute pic

[tekno]

send him a non nude, never send frat guy nude pic, but something hot, bathing suit type pic. watch him call you after hang over is done.

[tekno]

i just saw your pic. you have nothing to be worried about. you are prettier than 90% of girls in sorority at alma mater.

[lavenderdove]

If he is a typical frat boy, he probably had his phone turned off (or left in his room) and was lying face down on a carpet passed out somewhere in a drunken stupor while his male frat buddies paint rude sayings on his backside. He won't even remember what happened last night, let alone whether you called him or not.

 

And if you genuinely think that whenever he is out of your sight/hearing/phone range he is cheating, that means he is either very untrustworthy (and you should break up with him), or you have trust issues that need counseling to overcome.

[tekno]

i second above post. If you are significantly younger than him or r still in highschool i would b carefull

[catfeeder]

I wouldn't use 'if you ever loved me' drama for a lousy phone call. That's wasting your biggest gun for a piece of bubble gum.

[BCC123]

thanks guys.

 

the thing is i ALWAYS leave him alone. we seriously dont talk monday - thursday. every week, like not even text. i think im great at letting him do his own thing and i understand that his frat takes up most his time.

 

so when i do call on a saturday night when i dont talk to him all week can i at least get an answer? he always ignores my calls whne hes drinking but when he comes out with me he always checks his phone and he never misses a call. * * * ?

 

idk, i think im being treated like sh*t to be honest.

[BCC123]

oh and im not younger than him. we are both in college. i do too much for this kid to be ignored on a saturday night ya know? i just bought us a whole trip to denver to go see a nuggets celtics game, paid for everything because it was a present type deal. he never pays for anything. he says he doesnt have money to buy me dinner but he sure has enough money to buy handles of vodka with his friends every day, including the week days.

[catfeeder]

[...] idk, i think im being treated like sh*t to be honest.

 

I think you have a point. So the question becomes, why stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat you well?

[lavenderdove]

so him ignoring one phone call isn't the point... the real point is that you want to be a steady girlfriend, and he wants a more casual relationship where he doesn't have a lot of obligation to you.

 

If you want a steady boyfriend, then find someone who wants a steady girlfriend and who treats you right. This guy may be way too involved in the frat boy scene to put the effort into being someone's boyfriend.

[BCC123]

thanks everyone.

 

its true i need to get out but i just love him so much, its crazy what id do for this guy.

 

hes been weird all weekend and i think he found someone else to be honest because idk what the sudden change in his behavior would mean. he never has done this before.

 

friday we talked for like 10 minutes and he was saying how i just require more than him and he does not think hes doing anything wrong or making me mad, he says i make myself mad because i think up all this crazy stuff in my head. that hes not the problem at all.

 

then he tells me he'll call me back and doesnt. instead i get a text at midnight and ignore it.

 

then saturday night he ignores me completely.

 

sunday he answered but said right away he had to go cause he was playing tiger woods and hed really call me back. he said he just took some pills last night and passed out. and he woke up and didnt think to call me back after all my texts and missed calls. what is that?

 

and now 5 hours later he hasnt called.

 

has he found someone else>

[BCC123]

im literally freaking out and dont know what to do, i think im about to drive to where he goes to school.

[konstantine]

DO NOT drive up there. That is a good way to end the relationship real quick. Please get out of your house and do something to distract yourself. Go shopping. Wait for him to call you (no matter how long it is) and figure it out then.

 

If you think you are being treated unfairly, I think you should say good bye for good.

[trekbuddy]

Yes I agree going there would be a mistake. It sounds like you are pushing for more than he is willing to give. He is letting you do everything you want as long as he gets something out of the deal. Trust me I can relate! If you want to chat pm me I know what it is like to want more out of a relationship and not get it. It also can help to know someone in the same town as you is going through similar situations. It is difficult when you feel like you are doing everything you can to

ake someone happy and they don't reciprocate.

[Undyinglova]

i just bought us a whole trip to denver to go see a nuggets celtics game, paid for everything because it was a present type deal. he never pays for anything. he says he doesnt have money to buy me dinner but he sure has enough money to buy handles of vodka with his friends every day, including the week days.

 

lol sugar mommy

 

thanks guys.

 

the thing is i ALWAYS leave him alone. we seriously dont talk monday - thursday. every week, like not even text. i think im great at letting him do his own thing and i understand that his frat takes up most his time.

 

so when i do call on a saturday night when i dont talk to him all week can i at least get an answer? he always ignores my calls whne hes drinking but when he comes out with me he always checks his phone and he never misses a call. * * * ?

 

idk, i think im being treated like sh*t to be honest.

 

at least he attends to his sh*t every day. You're being treated worse than sh*t.

 

It takes two to love. One-sided love is fail. I suggest you look elsewhere. As for driving down, why put more effort into something that you'll get out of anyways, just say that you're done with the relationship and go NC. Thats almost what he's doing to you now, except when you pay for his stuff and maybe sex. lol. o well... good luck to you.

[Ms Darcy]

What you have described doesn't sound like a very reciprocal relationship. Are you worried that other men won't find you attractive? Because I'm wondering why you are staying with him.

[BCC123]

no, i am very confident in how i look and finding someone else. that is the least of my worries because i think im a great girl. after breaking up for 2 years and not finding anyone else im worried i wont feel the same way about someone else, thats why we got back together.

 

i just love him. i cant really explain it, but i do things and put up with things with this man that id never do for anyone else. its weird.

 

update: he finally called me later sunday. he told me he hates the distance. that he feels like he gets none of the good things out of the relationship, like the reason we're in relationships. he doesnt get to see me, hold me, go out on dates, kiss me, etc. and all he gets is a nagging phone call once a week. he doesnt like the long distance. but that doesnt make sense because he doesnt jump on the first opportunity he has to see me. he can see me whenever, its only a 45 min drive. he said he loves me to death and wants to be with me but he doesnt like how we are when we're away from each other. he said he doesnt like talking on the phone and it just puts him in a bad mood. i said it was me that put him in a bad mood.

 

i tried to explain to him that i just feel like i dont get treated as well as i should by him. he apologized for everything. its just hard. hes constantly surrounded by his friends, he lives in the frat house and shares his room with 2 people. he hates talking to me around them which is understandable. its like hes always busy and i cant get two seconds of his time, and when i call i inconvience him.

 

its just really hard, idk.