tina-rocks Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Love you much x x Love you girl.... Merry Christmas to you too! Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 Love you much x x ditto girl.....ditto. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 Well, I took am Ambien CR about an hour ago....just waiting for it to "kick in" before I face yet another sleepless night of getting up a million times to pee. I am having surgery on January 11th...having an Interstim (like a pacemaker for the bladder) trial done to see if it will STOP this insanity. It does NOT work for all people, and, the side effects are not pleasant. But I am desperate. My depression deepens daily...it is worse now than when I originally joined ENA when I was going through my divorce. All anti depressants cause urinary retention in me (even though I took Prozac for YEARS without a problem) so I am not being treated for that. I mainly lay on the couch, cry, and get up to pee every 20 minutes or so. That's about it...just a vent. What a cruel disease this Interstitial Cystitis is. It has stolen everything from me...all joy. I just exsist and do stupid things on occasion like drink to try to escape. Drinking, I have learned solves NOTHING and, if anything, makes this condition worse. Link to comment
SnowFox Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 I just wanted to say I really feel for you. I hope the interstim is successful and helps you. One thing I wanted to share re: antidepressants - I can't take them (I have bad reactions to them). The one thing that has really helped me a lot for depression is salmon oil. I take 3 1,000mg capsules in the morning with food and the same in the evening with food. It has helped me tremendously and no side effects. When I run out of them and stop taking them, my mood starts to go back down within about 1 week. Also very good for the heart. Might be something you could try. Take good care. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 I just wanted to say I really feel for you. I hope the interstim is successful and helps you. One thing I wanted to share re: antidepressants - I can't take them (I have bad reactions to them). The one thing that has really helped me a lot for depression is salmon oil. I take 3 1,000mg capsules in the morning with food and the same in the evening with food. It has helped me tremendously and no side effects. When I run out of them and stop taking them, my mood starts to go back down within about 1 week. Also very good for the heart. Might be something you could try. Take good care. Thank you.....I did not know that. It may come down to some sort of therapy like that because my depression worsens by the day... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 Well, last night the BF went out to watch the first 1/2 of the Monday night football game. I went right to bed after my last post on here last night, and must have fallen asleep around 9:30. HE comes home at 10:30 and comes in the bedroom and says "Are you sleeping?" WT F?????? I could NOT BEEEEEEEEEEEEEELIEVE IT! NOT ANYMORE YOU ASS HOLE! I did not fall back asleep again until after 3am. I am so angry. How could he be so stupid. Sleep is more precious to me than anything. Anything. I'm so angry. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 So does stress, sweet girl. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 So does stress, sweet girl. Yes...it certainly does. It certainly does........ Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted December 31, 2009 Author Share Posted December 31, 2009 Well, YESTERDAY was a "good" day...first good day since September 5th. I was actually able to sit through dinner with my BF and only get up to use the bathroom ONCE! This is shocking. I don't know if some of the medication is working or what. This makes me even MORE nervous about getting this Interstim done...if this can be controlled by meds, why would I endure a surgery that's going to put a pace maker near my bladder and regulate my bladder? I cannot sleep at night thinking all these thoughts........... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 I am scared and crying. I have my pre-op appointment in about 45 minutes. Of course I have to dig out of 3 feet of snow to get there. I will be having an Interstim Trial done next Monday...it is like a "pace maker" for your bladder, but with FAR MORE COMPLICATIONS and dangers, including death. They go in and wrap a lead around the nerve that controls your bladder. It may or may not work. I don't like the Dr. messing with any nerves in my back. But it is the ONLY thing that can help, and may allow me to get back on my anti depressants. For those of you who pray, I could use all you got to give. Thank you...... Allie Link to comment
Clabs Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Aw Allie.... I am here with ((((((HUGS)))))) and prayers. I hope it goes well for you, darling. Mark Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 Aw Allie.... I am here with ((((((HUGS)))))) and prayers. I hope it goes well for you, darling. Mark Thanks Mark....that means a lot....... Link to comment
KG Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 KG roots for CAA....***Happy ending*** Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 4, 2010 Author Share Posted January 4, 2010 KG roots for CAA....***Happy ending*** Thank you. I just read in my "Interstitial Cystitis" magazine that this Interstim Therapy surgery that I am going for has a 67% FAILURE rate. I am devastated.....I wish I never opened the damn thing. This is my last resort...I can't go on living like this...because it's not living. It's just not. Link to comment
SnowFox Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I am sorry you are feeling so scared. When a person reaches a point where they desperately need to try a medical procedure, even if it is risky, it gets very scary. I hope that this procedure will end up being effective for you. If you are feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, can you ask your doctor to prescribe you a temporary anti-anxiety medication to take today? (assuming you can get to a pharmacy). It is terrible that you have such a painful disease. I feel so bad for you. Link to comment
Clabs Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Allie - chuck that damn mag away! Don't write that op off. It MAY well be the answer to your prayers but you won;t know if you don't go for it. I know it is easy for me to type these words and I can NOT imagine what you are going through but try and hang in there, darling. We are all rooting for you. Mark Link to comment
KG Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Allie - chuck that damn mag away! Don't write that op off. It MAY well be the answer to your prayers but you won;t know if you don't go for it. I know it is easy for me to type these words and I can NOT imagine what you are going through but try and hang in there, darling. We are all rooting for you. Mark Seconded......................... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 6, 2010 Author Share Posted January 6, 2010 I am sorry you are feeling so scared. When a person reaches a point where they desperately need to try a medical procedure, even if it is risky, it gets very scary. I hope that this procedure will end up being effective for you. If you are feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, can you ask your doctor to prescribe you a temporary anti-anxiety medication to take today? (assuming you can get to a pharmacy). It is terrible that you have such a painful disease. I feel so bad for you. Thank you for your kindness. I am an Antianxiety medication for this...... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 6, 2010 Author Share Posted January 6, 2010 Allie - chuck that damn mag away! Don't write that op off. It MAY well be the answer to your prayers but you won;t know if you don't go for it. I know it is easy for me to type these words and I can NOT imagine what you are going through but try and hang in there, darling. We are all rooting for you. Mark Hugs to you Mark....hugs to you. I should chuck the Magazine because when I read it, I just feel like crying. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 6, 2010 Author Share Posted January 6, 2010 Seconded......................... Thanks KG. Last night was just AWFUL from the pain AND the frequency...I was crying.... Link to comment
tinydancer81 Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Please go through with the surgery you wont know unless you try, we're all praying for you and with so many people behind you its got to work. Big hugs and best wishes for monday Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 Please go through with the surgery you wont know unless you try, we're all praying for you and with so many people behind you its got to work. Big hugs and best wishes for monday Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Tiny, you almost made me cry. I might not be on the site for a while, depending on the pain level, but I would LOVE PM's from my friends......and you all know who you are...... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 9, 2010 Author Share Posted January 9, 2010 I'm so sad tonite......... My surgery is Monday. I am having trouble just urinating today, so I don't know how it will take. It's supposed to stop frequency and retention. I will NOT be able to BEND over for a month. I will have to rely on my BF for everything from helping me get dressed to giving my kitty his insulin shot. This man has promised me NOTHING...he is just my BF, NOT my husband. My parent's are older, and the winter here is terrible. I am terrified. Just beyond words. Thanks for listening. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 11, 2010 Author Share Posted January 11, 2010 Well, tomorrow morning (Monday) is the "big" day. Today was an awful day. I think I am more scared of this NOT working than anything else. I am at the end of my rope both physically and mentally. Anyone who prays, please pray. Allie Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I will keep you in my prayers. Link to comment
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