Roomate ended up hitting my dog

[Pall Wall]

Adam my roommate has been very cool to have around since he moved in months ago. He's been very cool to my WestHighland terrier Beaux. But the other night, Adam was not entirely sober. HE was trying to teach Beaux tricks, but he then snatched the cracker from Adam's hand fast, which is something Beaux has NEVER EVER done before, and he ended up biting Adam's hand when doing it. Adam (as he put it) was trying to CORRECT Beaux for the biting, but I think because of Beaux having food in his mouth, he got mad and ended up biting Adam's other hand. Hard enough to make him bleed. Just like when a dog pees on the floor, and owners try to rub their nose in it to make them aware, Adam was doing that to Beaux with the big drops of blood on the floor and I saw Adam holding up Beaux with his hands around his shoulders, looking him right in the eyes. And he ended up smacking Beaux off the side of his face, again...NOT punching him, but just smacking him.

 

We bathed the smeared blood off of Beaux, and Adam's hands are fine. Adam feels bad for the incident. But he explained to me that he had to to "CORRECT" Beaux because he gave this lecture about that if Beaux bites other people like that he'll be put to death literally. Adam is a Dog Whisperer kind of guy and has trained big dogs suchs as K-9's his whole life.

 

But I can't help but express this: IT broke my heart to see Adams smack Beaux like that, and to HEAR Beaux cry the way he did, I had NEVER heard him cry like that. IT literally made me cry afterwards. And it made my mom mad, altough she did not express anger to Adam, but she later joked with him saying there is no need to ever try to teach Beaux new tricks.

 

One could tell me it was very wrong of Beaux, and he need to be disciplined like that. But here are the facts I will point out.

 

1. Adam HAD been drinking, and was not sober, in fact he had not been 100% perfect with maintaining his balance. He was tumbling minutes earlier trying to punch and kick our punching bag in the living room.

 

2. THe fact that Beaux snatched the cracker from his hand like that that, like "YOINK" , which tells me it's because Adam's hand was too close, and he did tell me he got down on his knees to Beaux, which I have never done.

 

3. Every other stranger that Beaux has encountered, he has done nothing but submit and show love and need to be petted, and has shown excitement and affection, including kids.

 

4. At town parades, some people have dog biscuits, and they have gone up to Beaux giving him one, and he took them well. But Beaux was also on a leash sitting right by me, so when the lead is on him, he will listen to you.

 

5. I have no intention of ever taking Beaux to a party of toddlers where a toddler could have food in his hand and not know any better.

 

I DO NOT want Adam to be looked at as the Bad Guy here. He's a wonderful noble guy, he means well, he wants to help, and do as much as he can. But I'm trying to understand if it was all justafiable. This was a week ago, and I want to forget about it. But I feel the need to confront Adam to point out that was a bit drunk. MY feelings are that HE made a mistake and crossed Beaux Beaux's line, HE played with fire.

 

I'm afraid of hurting Adams feelings expressing this to him. He felt remourse as it was, but I don't think he knows how much it hurt me to see him hit Beaux, and the fact that it made me cry afterwards. And I don't want to hear Adam's lectures about how Beaux has to be shown dominance.

 

Should I let this go? Or how CAN I let this go?

[AlphaFemme]

Dominance is not hitting a dog. If the dog was truly aggressive (and it sounds like he is absolutely not), then hitting him would make it worse. Adam is no "dog whisperer." He's a bully when he's drunk -- at best. You are responsible for your dog's health and safety, so you do need to address the issue. Make sure this guy knows he is not allowed to hit (or otherwise "punish") your dog for any reason. Ever.

 

If someone did that to my pup, drunk or no, we would be done. Beaux is relying on you to be his voice, just as a young child would. I get that the dog nipped him, and you want to work with Beaux to make sure he always takes food gently and is always willing to allow you to take his food away at any time. However, your own reaction to the situation tells you it was not okay.

[trezz]

our true personalities are magnified when drunk.using the i was drunk excuse turns my stomach.if you cant think it sober how can u think it drunk.

has he hit your dog when your not around. sounds like it to me.you are desperatly painting him as a good guy. are you trying to convince us or yourself.

[yeawutever]

I think what you can do is establish your rule that it's not ok to smack a your dog but you also have to teach Beaux that it's wrong biting people.t can be upsetting when you're teaching a dog and it ends ups acting aggressive towards you and bites your hand...

[Pall Wall]

God the more I think about this, the more it upsets me. Feeling like things are forever changed or something. Adam is one of my closest friends, and he's been that tight part of our whole circle of friends for 9 years.

 

you are desperatly painting him as a good guy. are you trying to convince us or yourself.

 

Honestly trying to convince you all of that. I do not want this incident to change things in a bad way. But am I just making it all worse in my head? IS this how others that see domestic abuse feel? Tonight I already told one of our other best friends, Robbie, about what happened. And like you all he cried it out as a big "no no." Now I keep thinking, "What if our other friends learned of this? Would it hurt the friendship line with Adam? Like another best friend of ours, his girlfriend Heidi LOVES Beaux to death. I can't imagine what her feelings would be of Adam.

 

In fact typing this whole message post feels like it's making me feel worse.

[agent1607307371]

I'd smack a dog that bit me hard enough for blood. Seriously.

 

MY feelings are that HE made a mistake and crossed Beaux Beaux's line, HE played with fire.

 

Yes he did. But he lives with the dog. What if it was someone who didn't? Adam had a really good point about the dog being destroyed, but was not sober and didn't handle it as well as I'm sure he would of if he were (being a trainer).

 

He's lost respect, and I'm sure that he doesn't feel good about the incident himself.

[chiefoptimizer]

If he's always nice to your dog when sober, and he sincerely "repents" having hurt Beaux when drunk, then I guess all you have to do is forbid him to be around Beaux when drunk. Just tell him you don't want a repeat of that. Be firm. But there's no reason to push him away completely.

 

Edit: He's done something to lower everyone's respect for him. He needs to earn that respect back. There's no need to feel bad about "hurting the friendship line" or anything. He did it, it will wash away, but he has to face the shame now.

[trezz]

the reflex action of smacking the dog may be instinctive,why go on to hold it up and stare at it. i know nothing about dog training. i do watch the dog whisperer i think sometimes he is a bit rough but the dogs learn.

you have to decide about your friend.

the dog should not bite the man should not over react.

 

why be afraid of hurting his feelings?

good friends discuss problems reach a conclusion,yous may agree to differ but if you talk this out honestly wont your friendship be improved?

letting it fester will cause more problems.

i think as long as your tactful and both are respectful talking is the best way.

[itsallgrand]

If he's always nice to your dog when sober, and he sincerely "repents" having hurt Beaux when drunk, then I guess all you have to do is forbid him to be around Beaux when drunk. Just tell him you don't want a repeat of that. Be firm. But there's no reason to push him away completely.

 

My thoughts exactly.

 

Hey, I don't like people who are drunk around my pets for this very reason. It's not necessarily that I don't trust the people (often friends or family) with my pets: it's that I don't trust drunk people with my pets! Booze and animals don't mix.

 

So you can just work out some guidelines about 'rules of the house' that aren't crazy restrictive, but just make sense so everyone living there is gonna be safe and happy and doesn't have to live with a bunch of chaos.

 

I would have stopped him at the drunkenly flailing to box at the punching bag at the living room part. Seriously.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You seem to be defending your dog. YOUR DOG BIT HIM..not once, but twice...your dog was aggressive. Your friend may have reacted a bit differently than had he been sober but the fact still remains is that he reacted because he had been bitten twice, the dog was aggressive. I can understand being upset at your friend...but making excuses for your dog's aggressive behaviour...no way. If you can make excuses for your dog biting someone aggressively, why are you less lenient with your friend who could have had an instinctual reaction to being attacked by your dog. I love dogs, and yes, it is hard to see the dog get smacked..but there needs to be a reality check here..the dog acted aggressively, bit and drew blood and scared someone...he reacted to immediately show the dog he was boss, as it should be, because the dog had attacked twice. I don't care how small the dog is...smaller dogs are often more aggressive than the larger ones and people make excuses for them because of their size. I think the matter should be laid to rest and you should not be so harsh on your friend who reacted instinctively.

[spearntime]

Your dog should NOT bite. At all. He could technically sue you for that. There are reasons for this. If he had been infected with a disease or it became infected, it could have been life threatening.

 

It's not a child. It's a dog.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Your dog should NOT bite. At all. He could technically sue you for that. There are reasons for this. If he had been infected with a disease or it became infected, it could have been life threatening.

 

It's not a child. It's a dog.

 

Yeah, sadly, however, there are people who sue even though they weren't seriously injured..they just see the dog as a cash cow. I have a real issue with people who sue others just because they can when their injury is not so serious. This guy's injury was not serious so suing would just be a sleazy way to make money.

[browneyedgirl36]

The dog shouldn't have bitten your roommate; on that point, I agree, but...I think there are very few good reasons to hit any animal. In fact, the only one I can think of is if the dog is attacking (as in a mauling type of situation) and someone has to hit it to get it off of the person it is mauling. It sounds like Adam hit your dog out of anger, to punish him (as you said in your original post) to "correct" his behavior. Hitting an animal to "correct" it? Nope. Sorry. I don't believe in that AT ALL. If the dog had clamped onto Adam's arm or leg and wouldn't let go, yeah, I could see hitting him to make him let go, but it doesn't sound like this is what happened. it sounds to me like something in Adam's demeanor may have provoked the dog -- after all, Adam was drunk -- and that he may have been partly at fault for creating a situation in which the dog lunged for the cracker. Hitting him when he didn't need to defend himself just compounds the problem, in my opinion.

 

As far as you being lucky he didn't sue you...well...I suppose he could, but...I would really hope he wouldn't. He did have some part in this, and he's not permanently or seriously injured.

 

I was in a situation similar to this one with a guy I dated a few years ago and my cat. The guy was teasing her, sticking his hand in her face, dangling his hand over her head and pulling it away really quickly, etc. I suggested to him, politely, that he might consider NOT doing that because she clearly didn't like it. I could see the signs that she was mad -- ears back, eyes dialated, tail flicking -- and I'm sure he saw them too. He persisted, and she got aggressive and scratched him hard on the hand, drawing blood. Of course, he blamed her. I very calmly told him, "I told you that probably wasn't a good idea. I could tell she didn't like you sticking your hand in her face like that." He freaked out on me, telling me I cared more about my cat than I did about him getting hurt. I held my tongue and didn't respond to that statement, and simply said "Well, I don't like her being afraid, and she looked scared when your hand came at her face like that. She's a cat. She doesn't know whether or not you are going to hurt her. She's acting on instinct and defending herself." He proceeded to be quite rude to me, and he even used the F-word when responding to me -- as in "I don't need this f-ing crap from you." Needless to say, that was our last date. I felt his reaction was out of proportion for a small scratch on the hand, and the fact that he persisted in teasing my cat after I asked him not to showed me that he didn't respect me.

 

I understand that pets are not children. I understand that people have a responsibility to make sure their pets don't maul people. However, I also take into consideration that pets are animals. They aren't capable of thinking things through logically the way we are. They act on instinct. If they are afraid, or intimidated, they may lash out. I just think this situation wasn't all the dog's fault, and I do not think that hitting an animal for "correction" or punishment is ever justified.

[yeawutever]

I would have punch the hell out of a dog that bites me like that and then chase him with a broom or my one of my shoes till it's nowhere I can see it. I know then comes the lawsuit but I would tell my story at the same time. Animal cruelty, yes but what about me, what if it had rabbies, then I get infected and die if not treated on time...

[browneyedgirl36]

I would have punch the hell out of a dog that bites me like that and then chase him with a broom or my one of my shoes till it's nowhere I can see it. I know then comes the lawsuit but I would tell my story at the same time. Animal cruelty, yes but what about me, what if it had rabbies, then I get infected and die if not treated on time...

 

 

It's highly unlikely that someone's pet would have rabies. VERY unlikely. Wild dogs, stray dogs, maybe, but pets are usually taken care of enough that rabies is not an issue. I know several people who have been bitten by dogs -- not attacked and mauled, but simply bitten on the hand, much like what the OP describes happening in his situation -- and they didn't punch the dogs that bit them, nor chase them with a broom, nor file a lawsuit. Dog bites CAN become infected, but if you clean them immediately and take proper care of them, it's unlikely they will, almost as unlikely as getting rabies from a house pet.

 

Some dogs ARE naturally aggressive (or trained to be) and yes, that is a problem. However, a dog that isn't normally aggressive will probably not bite unless it's by accident (i.e. trying to take a treat out of someone's hand and accidentally biting down) or unless it feels cornered or very afraid.

 

I stand by my opinion that, if things occurred as the OP says they did, the dog wasn't trying to hurt the roommate, and the roommate overreacted by hitting the dog.

[Angeliah]

It was not your friend's place to hit your dog. As the dogs owner it is up to you to disipline the dog, especially in a physical way. I loud growl at the dog would have been far more affective. I do not believe in hitting animals for punishment. Thats not how they treat each other in pack mentality. You need to tell him not to touch your dog!! You are the dogs master, not him! Anything contrary to this, will confuse the dog.

[waveseer]

I want to say that nobody will advocate for your dog properly except you. Your dog is solely your responsibility and your dog's treatment falls directly on your shoulders. I suggest you not worry so much about people who can take care of themselves and worry more about a pet that cannot.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It was not your friend's place to hit your dog. As the dogs owner it is up to you to disipline the dog, especially in a physical way. I loud growl at the dog would have been far more affective. I do not believe in hitting animals for punishment. Thats not how they treat each other in pack mentality. You need to tell him not to touch your dog!! You are the dogs master, not him! Anything contrary to this, will confuse the dog.

 

 

If a dog is attacking a person the person being attacked is the master over that dog in that situation. A dog is not a child..it is a dog....this guy didn't brutally assault the dog. Not only that, but this guy trains K9s so he is no novice. It is terrible that people are getting more bent out of shape over a little slap that wasn't even abuse and are focusing less on the fact that the dog bit the guy and drew blood. The dog whining because he got slapped...you know what, dogs whine when they are reprimanded, even if the reprimand is verbal. As for dogs correcting other dogs...well, I have seen plenty of dogs do more than just growl when another dog as over-stepped their bounds...and with a little more force than a slap..yet the dog is perfectly fine afterwards. I really think some perspective is in order here.

[Chickenjuice]

The dog bit him, so he was right to smack the dog right on the face, once back.

 

A dog should never make a person bleed. No excuse.

 

But maybe you should think twice about "how nice" your roommate actually is to your dog. In reality, your roommate may torment your pet when you aren't there to see it happen.

 

Your roommate may not actually be a "friend" to your dog, and your dog should not get into the habit of biting people!

[Sky-Cherries]

Dominance is not hitting a dog. If the dog was truly aggressive (and it sounds like he is absolutely not), then hitting him would make it worse..

 

Because when wild dogs are exerting dominance, they sit down, have a cup of tea, and eventually one says "I don't want to sound mean, but, y'know...I think I should be boss"

 

No.

If a dog that isn't the leader bites the leader, especially over food, that dog is smack-downed so damn hard he's afraid to eat without written permission for weeks.

 

Cesar Millan's "energy of a pack leader" is 80% **** and 10% marketing.

 

It's still not right to smack a dog like that, especially a rat dog that can't fight it's way out of a wet paper bag, but you have to correct instantly and in a manner that won't easily be forgotten.

 

My Grandfather used to train kelpies for work in competitions. If you don't have utter dominance, you're stuffed.

One display of teeth, one growl, and all he'd do was stomp his boot very hard on the ground and shout "Oi!"

 

It's enough of a shock for the dog to go "Hang on, I don't like this"

[d24]

i'd have hit the dog too.

if he and the dog are ok now, no problem.

if the dog is actively cowering or staying away from him, there is a problem.

[RomanticAthart]

I just read the book on that guy who is Mexican and has a tv show that shows people how to properly train their dogs.

 

Even the most aggressive dogs, he has NEVER hit! He will put them on their side, and make them roll over, but HITTING, that was NEVER mentioned in his book.

 

To teach a dog when you are drunk, probably not too akamai.. I would DEFINITELY have a word with him.

 

I had a friend who literally KICKED my dog in his side on time when he was at his house, when he tried to get some food.. He did not take the food from his hand, but merely was being a pest...

 

My other friend, his roommate, was shooing his OWN dog away, b/c she was doing the same thing as mine was, but he did not KICK his own dog.

 

Never trusted my "friend" after that with my dog, or WOULD I, with any of my OTHER pets! My dog was 11 years old at the time too.. Hardly a puppy who needs to be "kicked" in the side, to show discipline.

 

Your roomie lost his temper, plain & simple.. Not exactly my idea of the perfect dog handler, no disrespect intended.

[RomanticAthart]

Cesar Millan.. that is his name, i had forgot...

 

Actually there was VERY little in his book about obedience but it did give the jist of dog's mentality towards the world and towards their pack...

Yes, you shud have dominance over a dog, but the more you show cruelty to a dog, the more it is going to act out in a cruel manner, out of exasperation.

 

I remember my puppy acting very aggressive whne I first got it, and the more mad I got at it, the more out of control it became.

 

It used to bite too.. Teething you cud blame but hitting the dog will NOT help things. Grab it by the scruff of the neck if it gets out of control. but picking it up and staring at it in the face when you are a big guy... Hey.. i see alot of "out of control" behavior here with your roommate.

 

So WHAT.. he has been a dog trainer. We just went thru a course with a "qualified" dog trainer, and I must admit her methods wud make me shake my head more times than I care to admit!

Still, I do NOT think she did such a grand job of training our dogs.. they still need obedience lessons...

By the time the time the class was almost over, half the people did NOT even bother to show up!

I do not know why, but I have to asume they did NOT get that much out of the obedience class either!

 

A smack on the rump.. that shud be about it.. when it comes to disciplining your dog.. anytime you hit the dog in the face or the head, you risk injuring the dog... after all it is a small creature and a tad more fragile than you would think.

[fixyou_]

He is not a noble man if he hits a dog! I'd grab him and smack him on the side of the face. I'd find a new roommate. Completely unacceptable.

[thejigsup]

The dog bit him. Enough said. If it had happened to me, I wouldn't have hit the dog, but it would have been instantly reprimanded. Any dog that bites, no matter what the provocation, is dangerous.