Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[shamyprecious]

You have hurt me so bad , you dont know what you done to me i just want to heal I dont ever want you to talk to me again

[einsteins_girl]

I'm not sure there's anyone in the world who isn't just a little happy when she discovers her ex's (maybe) new girlfriend isn't that attractive. I feel bad for saying that, but there it is...

[wish9080]

You are a fake. The person I thought I knew is gone. I only wish I could have seen you for who you really were before all of this blew up in my face. Hindsight is always 20/20 I guess. It was all a lie and I can see that now. I'm done mourning the loss of something that never even existed.

[nick66]

What does forever mean to you?

[hopelessincan]

soon you will be a distant memory. haha I wish I could say that and mean it, but i'm trying....trying to forget you exist.... and what do they say? fake it till you make it!.

 

I think though that this is gonna hit you and its gonna hit you hard. you've never had a girl like me you used to tell me all the time. oh I'm the first girl you've really loved............. I had my $hit together.............lol I used to but its not together anymore. in hindsight, I probably lost my $hit cause of you. nothing mattered if I had you and I still mean that. You're going to realize everything. You had everything you wanted and needed. You used to feel bad because of how much I gave to you.....Its going to be too late I fear. I'm realizing things............

 

I'm starting not to care. Don't get me wrong, I still love you like I've never ever, ever loved anyone. I still think you are amazing. so smart so sexy and such a beautiful person. It's too bad you're so hung up on what happened to you in the past. If we didn't have our crappy pasts, this would be so wonderful. Good bye.

[aw4919]

When you left, you took away my faith in fate. If my fate isn't with you, then fate does not exist. You made every single heart break and pain I've ever experienced make sense. It all led up to making me the woman who was meant to be with you. And that's gone. And that's really hard to accept. I'm reading these boards, I'm going to therapy, I'm growing as a person, but I still have no idea where acceptance will come from.

 

I'm not the kind of person who takes I love yous as a promise. I understand it's said in the moment and feelings change, but it's not like that's the only thing you were telling me. You were making promises that I thought; no, that I KNEW, were from your heart, and I was wrong. I didn't need anything from you in any timeframe. I just needed you. I feel like you used me for my support and then dropped me when I needed yours. I already told you, I understand how badly I was behaving. I was angry at the universe because after two years of grieving for you every minute of every day, when you came back I had no time to even enjoy it. I didn't have one single day with you free of the most intense commitments I've ever experienced. And I had one by one lost every stress release I had used for my entire life. These little things added up- first no smoking (which I know I talked about too much, but only when I was super stressed and deprived of all of my other outlets, which granted, was most of the time). Then no cd burner. Then no tv. Then C wasn't hanging around. Then I screweded with my hormones, (which in case you were interested, the doctor I saw said it takes 3 months for the natural hormones to re-regulate.) Then you started pushing away. I wish I could make you understand this, just so you really understand exactly what happened to me. The stress I was under was one thing, but having no release and no time to figure it out just crushed me entirely.

 

And it led to you abandoning me in my darkest hour, with no good reason, in the shortest time frame that you found acceptable to assuage your own guilt. That's not meant to be an attack of any sort. You decided what was best for you, and all I want is what is best for you. It's just the way it made me feel.

 

See, on top of all of that, when you came home you fell off of your pedestal, as did I. I saw you in full color, with all of your flaws, and honestly, I loved you even more because of those flaws. I know I didn't act like it, I just kind of expected you to know. And maybe you did.. but you didn't care about that. You cared that I needed to lean on you for awhile, I needed you to just be around, to tailor your almost completely free schedule just a little bit to my incredibly busy one, but I also know that you have your own life and I felt selfish for asking. It would make me so frustrated with myself on top of everything else, and so frustrated with you for not understanding how badly I needed you, and especially for not understanding that I wouldn't need you like that forever. So I accepted seeing you whenever you made it possible, which was often the worst time for me. And then I would be beyond stressed, have no release, lose my mind because you were RIGHT THERE and I still couldn't be with you, and get overwhelmed with emotions to the point of insanity. I needed your help and your love and empathy and time, and you gave up on me with what felt like lightening speed, but probably felt like an eternity for you.

 

So now I'm working on new releases, ones that are inside myself instead of external. I will NEVER make these mistakes again. I have learned my lesson so painfully well that it's killing me. I'm working on a lot of things actually, therapy twice a week, meditation classes, working with a doctor to fix my sleeping habits, improving my social skills... I have the time and money now, and I wish it still mattered to you, but at least it still matters to me. I'm afraid now that you didn't care if I was happy and healthy really, only how much I affected your happiness and how much work you would have had to put in to continue the relationship.

 

This isn't supposed to make you feel guilty. I take my share of the blame, which is most of it. There isn't any resentment or anger in my words, and I don't think I'm better than you. In fact, as hard as I'm trying, I still love you so intensely that it makes my self-improvement harder than it needs to be.. But I wish you would reflect on this for your next relationship because I want more than anything for you to find the love of your life and be as happy as I was when I was with you. It's heaven on earth, (even if you're losing your mind).

[MissMetamatics]

I am growing stronger everyday. I realize now how I had no idea who you really are. We spent 5 years of our lives together, got married etc. And you have the capability to do what you have done, to not only me but another family. Then you befriend me again and try to cheat on your partner in crime with me? Well who wouldve thought youd cheat on the girl you cheated on me with? thats amazing!!! I guess if you cannot trust the person you starting a relationship, based on lies and deception, then who can you trust? Well I really hope you enjoyed the month of April and the first part of May. Because it'll never happen again. You will not receive my friendship, love, a stick of gum, a ride to your truck etc etc etc. And be happy I am not vindictive. Nope, ill let life catch up with you. You screwed me over worse then anyone in my 32 years of life. And I really hope something will happen to take you off that soapbox you preach on. You need to be given a serious dose of karma kicking your ass. And I hope when it happens, I won't care anymore. Piss off!

[periwinkle00]

I'm up at 5 in the morning, because I just had a dream about you -- an unsettling one. We were at a party, talking, and you said you made out with a guy, then you casually mentioned a girl with funky hair sitting on a couch, and told me you and her were close. I asked how close, you said REAL close. This was really unsettling and realistic feeling. You said she was the sister of a friend..it seemed so naturally for you. I next got a smoke of someone, as I was desperate just saying to anyone "Do you have a smoke?" as they all heard what happened. Then of course, when I got outside in my half drunk state, my cigarette broke at the filter.

 

This dream made me think that maybe it wouldn't be a big deal for you to find someone else. What if you have already? I bet you check your plentyoffish sometimes. I see that you updated your profile. There was that girl you were close with online..not really sure what the story is anymore. If it's not her, than who? Anything could happen with anyone.

 

Now I look on your plentyoffish and you were on today.

 

I find it sad that you are looking for other people so soon. I am getting involved in the community, and in doing that, am opening myself to meeting a partner eventually, but I'm not out on plentyoffish or falling hard for someone on their online profile.

 

You hurt me so...you and your pof. Why? Why do you hurt me?

[sunshine34]

I will never see you again U are either on a plane now or in an airport and I hate that you are so stubborn. Once someone is out of your life that's it, even though it's yourfault, even if u miss me or think or me you won't fight. I will never hear from you again. You left today, u will be on your euro trip for at Least a mo and by the time u return you won't know my name. Despite you beig less than 3 miles in my vicinity when you return, I will never see you. I hate u for making me love you and believe in you. For showing me everything I wanted and ripping it from under my nose. I hate that I want you because you don't deserve it.

[kz91]

I finally think I'm getting over you and there's a few reasons why I know that I am. When I'm at college I don't get that sickening feeling like I used to, don't get me wrong it tugs at my heart strings but nowhere near like it used to. When I look back on the memories, I feel happy more than sad. I've been speaking to someone and I haven't compared her to you.

 

The main one being I want nothing to do with you anymore. You broke me apart and you will never understand what you put me through or how much you hurt me. Don't forget that what goes around comes around, what you did to me, one day you'll feel the same. I don't check your facebook anymore, simply because you're not a part of my life anymore, it'd be like searching for a complete stranger and stalking their profile. YOU cut me out of your life, you changed your number and you blocked me on Facebook, why? Lol, I don't care anymore! I tired myself out going over and over about the reasons why you might have but I've given up now because it won't change anything. You probably most likely did it for your stupid self, so you don't feel guilty about what you've done. Or maybe to pretend that I don't exist? Good luck with that, because you won't pretend for long, I know you.

 

I still care about you and I still wish for your happiness. I never want to see you get hurt, especially emotionally. You know why? Because I can't be there for you anymore.

[lilktg]

I've missed you so much lately. I know you treated me horribly. I know I should be thankful you are gone. I'm not. It's been a month NC now. Hard!! Part of me holds out hope that with time, you will realize things and be back. I guess I have not let go because I do still hope that. The truth is, I doubt you ever will. I cry because I will never see you again. I cry because I never thought this would happen for us. When did you stop loving me? I never stopped. I would give up anything just to experience one more day with you the way it used to be when we were so happy and in love. I miss that so much it kills me inside. Don't you miss it too?

[Fredd]

I gave you so much, even too much. I have never loved anybody as I loved you.

You were the first I had sex with and so you will always have a room in my heart

 

I know I should be "happy" all of this arrived to an end, as my life with you would have always been challenging... as you are a difficult person, you have issues, you are 30 but you behaves as if you were 20 or younger.

But I didn't care. I would have took care of you, no matter what, I wasn't scared at all.

 

Despite this, I love you. And I miss you, I miss you so much.

And I feel you loved me too, in your own crazy way.

I should have left you such a long time ago... but point is, I would be the happier person in the world if you came back.

 

I think I can't really go back to the situation we had before, anyway.

You hurt me so badly, it was like walking in the dark all the time... I was happy when we were together, but I was so scared when you were somewhere and I didn't know where. And the last month I felt like you weren't giving anything back to me, at the point that I would have liked to have the courage to end all of this.

 

I wish we could have tried for real.

I wish we could have had a last talk.

I gave you so much you could have given me a last chance to talk with you, but you didn't.

I miss you as a friend, as well.

 

My family and friends hate you, but I can't hate you and I will never do.

 

I can't go back as we were before. But I wish one day you'll realize what you have lost and you come back, to really build something meaningful with me.

 

I feel like it will happen one day.

I also know that day is far, anyway, and maybe it will be too late.

 

I'm sorry I've hurt you and you have felt betrayed by something I said and did. I wish you could understand how much you hurt me, sooner or later.

[confusedhere]

I wish i could have dragged you into the light and shown you the world that you missed. I wish that you could be less naive about the world around you to know that feeling like you belonged with someone is actual love and not the schoolgirl crushes that you had before. I wish i could heal you from the broken depressed girl that i met 4 months ago tomarrow.

 

But i cant, because even if i somehow win at this battle we've called a relationship my prize is a fat, selfish, broken little girl who wonders why everyone doesnt want to be everything that she wishes them to be and why disney movie love isnt real.

 

Mostly i wish i never met you.

[einsteins_girl]

I know what you've been working on, and I'm so proud of you, and it kills me not to be able to tell you that. I just... Can't we just talk to each other? This is stupid.

[wish9080]

I'm missing you today and I don't know why. I know I don't want to get back together with you after the way you treated me. I hate the way you misled me into thinking you wanted more than you were actually willing to give. All those talks of marriage and babies and our future together. You really did a number on me when you left me out of the blue. I feel like an idiot, and yet, I still miss you and your family. What was the point of your so called game? You built up this amazing future for us together and then without a second thought, threw it all back in my face as if you never meant a word of it. Who does that?? I don't need you. I made a big mistake opening myself up to you and thinking you wanted all the same things I wanted out of life. You made me believe you wanted to give me the moon and the stars. Eff you and your phony lies. You're pathetic and insecure. That's why you built yourself up so much. You were all talk, but never backed up your words with actions. Ugh. Goodbye and good riddance.

[sunshine34]

I should be happy , this is what I have been praying for, this is all I wanted. You texted me, Jennifer, I'm sorry for texting you now but I've been thinking about you a lot. Bull**** excuses about not texting back to my goodbye bc of your classes ending Friday and that it would just hurt me more..( Which was probably true) then tell me you spent the weekend watching movies and thinking about what I said, that you couldn't leave without telling me you had feelings for me still and that you wanted to see me when you got home w the intent of "making things work" that u hope I feel the same and you miss us..

It wasn't enough, I'm hurt and I have trust issues with everything you say... You told me once you had feelings for me, twice , in fact right before my surgery and in the next breath you told me "I might want to be with someone else" which is y you couldn't date me.. So you saying it now could mean nothing at all. Also, for you to say" with the intent of making it work", is vague.. That doesn't say I want to be with you. It says trying. I guess it's a step, but I feel like I deserve more. After all I went through, after having the man I love tell me he wanted other women and make me feel like I wasn't good enough for him hours before my surgery. Make me sick to my stomach and uncomfortable after surgery bc I feel like you are texting other women, then to hit me with such a vague unemotional text isn't fair. I at least deserved a "I only want you. I'm sorry if I made you feel undeserving of love and that I was such an ******* to you". You don't realize what you did. I don't know what you are thinking.. Maybe I am a back up. Maybe this other girl fell through. All I know is I should probably carry on as if I am moovng on because you didn't say you loved me and you didn't say you want me to be yours. I wish you would have shown up at my door w flowers or something. Or a letter or a card or something more in the message. I feel like I'm just another back up girl waiting for the guy to notice her and think she's great. You said you think I'm amazing, but you aren't treating me that way.

[confusedhere]

After our last phone call i realized why i tried to hold on, you are so broken and mixed up that my intellectual side finds you to be the ultimate of puzzles.

 

But in the end you are basically a terrible person who races to the bottom of relationships because deep down you know you arent a good person and you shouldnt have the happiness you crave.

 

I still wish i could fix you but in the end you sort of fixed me. Love is about 2 and not just the one.

[Alone Now]

MW:

 

I wish you could read what the poster above me just wrote! It is perfect in every way. You too are a puzzle and I think in a way, your refusal to seek help is a way to keep me in the game. If you were a real man, you would have already sought the help you desperately need. But you won't. I know you won't even if you said you were thinking about it. You are just not that kind of man. You are a coward, a bully and you enjoy the fact that I will always be interested in watching try to heal yourself. But you can't.

 

Why is it so hard for you to get therapy? Heck, I did! I admit that I needed the assistance of J. You remember J don't you? He was the one you were so threatened by that you lied to me about your involvement in the fight that we had. The same J that I find harder to forgive than my forgiving you. I trusted you! It made us closer! But it was all apart of the game you continue to play. If for no other reason than you are a sick man! Lately I have seen so many people here on ENA who have loved ones and partners who have or are dying of cancer. I feel for those people and their loved ones! They didn't ask to have an illness, they were saddled with it! And still they persevere! They thrive, or at least try to. They are battling a physical demon. You are not even attemoting to battle your own demon from within! You aren't mentally ill MW, you are simply too proud or too lazy to do anything about getting help!

 

I think about J and how wonderful he was for me to have enter my life. And I admit that I would have never really thought about getting the medical help I needed if it werent for him. He was completely there for me during your absence. And I am just now beginning to understand how much he cares about me. But, of course, you had to enter the picture as a bully and drive a huge wedge between us. Why would you do that? Why can't someone else love me unconditionally? Did you know that J is seeing a professional as well for his ADHD? And he is not ashamed of it! He sees his taking medication and talking to someone as a sign of just progressing as a man! Something that you are refusing to do.

 

I can't begin to think how I would react if J told me had cancer. I would probably fall apart. But I would trust that J would be a stand up guy, a gentleman, a man of faith and deal with the situation quietly and with dignity. If you were, God forbid, diagnosed with cancer, I am certain you would tell me as a plot to have me be with you. Do you know sick that is? You would sulk and be sad and probably do nothing about it! That's sick!

 

I feel for everyone who has written about caring for someone with cancer. It reminds me of the fight that D put up, but it eventually took her from us. From a sexy vibrant woman with everything to live for. And in a matter of a few months, she was a skeleton of herself. Sort of like how you are a skeleton of the man you might have been.

 

You too are a terrible person because you manipulate me by being in my life and then out of my life. And you accused me of being manipulated by J. You throw that word around so much because you know it is a key word for me. It strikes my senses. And I think you do it on purpose!

 

You are a horrible person because you try to bring me down with you. You don't say you do, but you do! You tell me that you are a horrible person with a horrible past and a horrible present, then FIX it! Stop dragging me down with you! I wish I were strong enough to end my addiction of you, but I can't. I ruin a friendship with J just to be with you. J was my strength while you were gone. And you seem to think you can come back and play with me anytime you want. And, I guess you're right. I deserve you because we attract what we are. If I were honorable, strong, of good character, morals and values, I might have ended up with J. I hate you for this!

[Red Tie]

Hi H!

I miss you... I really do... I know it was me who started the break-up discussion but you always leave with such doubts about what you are doing when I´m not around you that I just cant take it anymore.

You refuse a date with me on a weekend night and then a picture of you and a male "friend" appears on Facebook?! Really now? You thought I couldnt see your profile but guess what honey, I added you 2 months ago with a fake profile. All it took was a good looking guy on the profile photos and you clicked YES on the friends request. You always assumed I didnt have Facebook (which I dont) but I never said I couldnt create one profile.

 

But its over now. Even though I miss you, I know its best for us to be apart. Strangely enough, all I wanted to know is if this is hard for you too. Maybe all I wanted to know is that you are suffering as much as I am. If I knew that, maybe I would feel better. However, at the same time, I know that if you show a glimpse of still liking me, I would try to get you back and the cycle would repete itself again. For that, this message wont reach you. It will die here! My confession of still loving you and you will never know it. Its been 16 days since we broke up and although you contacted me 4 days after the breakup, what we spoke was just BS. I know you got the message I sent you for your sons birthday a week ago, at least a reply would be nice. I told you Im not your enemy and I dont want to cross the street when I see you walking. A simple "hi" a move on.

 

So this is my confession H. I still love you! I really miss you and I hope you shine brightly in someone elses sky.

Goodbye.

Q

[confusedlove77]

Please help Day 1 no contact and want to call or text him because we on good terms and supposed to be friends!

[sunshine34]

I feel odd, part of me is happy and excited at the new hope of us together, but part of me is weary and scared. I used to trust you and you are the first and only guy that instantly made me trust you and believe you were such a genuinely good person.but after everything that's happened I can't just forget it, I can't forget you said "I might want to be with someone else in the future" "i want to explore my options I owe that to myself" those statements knocked me into the ground and beat down my self confidence and trust in you. You made me feel undeserving of your love. Now all of a sudden you want to make things work.. How do I know you aren't going to meet a hot girl on your trip and all of a sudden change your mind. How do I know you mean this? I don't and can't possibly know that. Missing you and continuing to love you while you galavant around Europe single and not speaking to me is stupid. But what am i supposed to do? I keep telling myself just put him out of your mind until he comes back and you talk, but I don't even know how long your trip is. It might be a month, I know it's at least 2 weeks Because you made me feel so undeserving of love and I was pleasing you so much I am afraid to stand up for my needs . But if this is ever going to work, I have to. And I'm afraid you won't meet them. When we were together you took me out often and we had many emotional moments, but since the switch I'll call it, all we've done is "hang out" and while that's nice, I want to be appreciated . I hate that I miss you and love you And would do anything for you.. At this point I need that in return, or I can't do any of this. I don't know that I'll get that and I don't know what to do in the meantime

[sunshine34]

I miss you. I wish we could talk. love you

[Alone Now]

Please help Day 1 no contact and want to call or text him because we on good terms and supposed to be friends!

 

I know the feeling!

[Alone Now]

J, for whatever reason, I miss you more today than normal. I got that weird feeling that something isn't right for you. Like something happened. I wish I could find a way to be comfortable calling you and talking to you like we used to do so freely.

 

I miss you J. I really really miss you. Someday I hope we can talk and hold hands and laugh and be goofy and just be happy like we used to. MW screwed all of this up. But I know that I am responcible as well. I let MW corrupt my image of you. I allowed MW to say ***** about you and never once considered defending you. What can I say? I love MW for all the right and wrong reasons. But I miss you so much right now. And because we haven't talked in what seems like forever, I miss catching up with you. I know you have been busy. I know that you are coping.

 

But I can't figure out how I apologize to you. I feel like I owe you an explanation. I just don't know how to figure these things out. My God, how I miss you!

[Balloonh8r1302]

I've done everything short of cutting you out of my life completely but I still can't get over you. These feelings I continue to have for you feel like a cancer taking hold of my mind. I would like nothing more than to have them removed somehow.

 

How can you throw me away and get over me so quickly? Why am I the one with this problem?