confusedhere

Miss me yet?

I think that once it sets in that no one else treated you the way i did its gonna hurt and you'll contact me again but i wont be there. I cant keep being in your life because i know how your story ends and i cant do it. Its better for me that we are apart but its worse for you, in a lot of ways i was The One for you but you werent it for me, its sad but your life has been mostly sadness hasnt it. Goodbye

God i want to hate you but i cant and its killing me. I cant believe you love me and dont want to be with me, what rational excuse is that?

Remind me again why we cant be together? Is it because we love each other? Is it because we loved talking on the phone for 3 hours in the wee hours of the night about nothing at all? It is stupid that we are hurting each other for immature ways and god do i want to get over you.

I dont really miss you right now and i feel like i should. I think its because with our emotional bond i could feel it when you hurt, you are hurting now. You were in many ways a terrible thing for me and im glad its finally over but i think its going to hurt you really bad in the long run. I wont be there anymore to catch you and you have no one but yourself to blame for yet another relationship ending.

I just realized that i never told you i really loved you and thats why you pulled away, you thought i sorta liked you and just wanted sex or compainionship. Because of what you told me i hid my love for you so you could have time to heal. Now that i know you feel very deeply for me and cant let me go i have to tell you and im terrified. I need you totally in my life or totally out, i cant do the inbetween.

After our last phone call i realized why i tried to hold on, you are so broken and mixed up that my intellectual side finds you to be the ultimate of puzzles. But in the end you are basically a terrible person who races to the bottom of relationships because deep down you know you arent a good person and you shouldnt have the happiness you crave. I still wish i could fix you but in the end you sort of fixed me. Love is about 2 and not just the one.

I wish i could have dragged you into the light and shown you the world that you missed. I wish that you could be less naive about the world around you to know that feeling like you belonged with someone is actual love and not the schoolgirl crushes that you had before. I wish i could heal you from the broken depressed girl that i met 4 months ago tomarrow. But i cant, because even if i somehow win at this battle we've called a relationship my prize is a fat, selfish, broken little girl who wonders why everyone doesnt want to be everything that she wishes them to be and why disney movie love isnt real. Mostly i wish i never met you.