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I turned around in my sleep to hug you but you weren't there. It made me sad. Since you've given me no answer as to why you left I'm going to have to reason it myself. I think to grow up in your environment you've had to repress some of your feeling and you've become good at that. Even more so now with work. I've noticed you get caught up in the initial newness of things. Maybe that's cause they feel so good on a background of sadness you don't want to feel. I don't believe you're a bad person. I love you. I can't control you or teach you. I just miss you, grr.

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Dear my beautiful handsome Silver.

 

I still miss you every single day.

I think of you every day still.

I am doing ok by the way, and i know you're keeping well away from me for my own benefit and that's a good thing.

 

I am also very angry with you.

Not just the fact it took you 6 years to decide you didn't want me, but the way you ended things left a lot to be desired and to be perfectly honest, i really did deserve some consideration and compassion.

I am not a throwaway object. Which is how you make me feel.

I have a lot to overcome now and i have a lot of work to do to make myself heal and feel whole again.

 

Today is hard for me. I wish i could go to your gig tonight, however i don't want to because you're there.

I don't want to see any of the people you work with (especially that woman) and i don't want to feel humiliated.

I know you will feel strange with me not being there, and i know you're used to seeing me there for every gig.

I just home you miss me a little. It will make me realize i wasn't just existing as a convenience.

 

Anyway, i miss your face is all i want to say.

Your soul.

 

Limiya

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What is there to say? You've already drained all the passion out of me. you took the most pure & beautiful thing & poisoned it. I hope you feel as much pain over leaving me as I do over losing you. I cry more than any woman I've known, & although at times I may seemed apathetic, or even "happy" im always holding back tears. I can feel the scars you've made on my heart. From wakeup to sleep, & even sometimes when I dream, you haunt me. At least in dreams I can occasionally relive the beautiful moments. While im dreaming those dreams, I actually think we're together. It's not until I wake up that I realize the truth, & try desperately to fall into slumber again to be with you, even if only in a fantasy.

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Of all the things I thought could of happen between us, I never thought we would end up this way. All the best memories I have has been with you the last 6 years, and it feels you just woke up a day and decided it's over between us.

 

I miss you everyday, I just hope you miss me at least a little. I know I will be alright with time. I was just hoping it would have been with you.

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i wonder if you realised how much of a mistake you made yet?

i still dont know why you broke up with me, i dont think you do either

i would say i dont understand why your trying to paint this picture of me being really abusive and horrible, and that i grabbed your sister by the throat and choked her, but i realise that you have to build this fake image of me to try and justify your decision

i wonder if your talking to my co-worker to try and get to me, you probably are looking again for a reaction.

i love you, and i miss you, i have a feeling you feel the same way towards me, but baby, that was the straw the broke the camels back

 

your not healthy, but that doesnt mean i should suffer from your narcisstic ways

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- I have to know... is this really it? There is no road back? If I would show up at your doorstep with all my stuff, ready to move in, you'd just send me away again?

 

- I still love you.

 

- I hope you'll understand that I need to remove you from Facebook and block you. I can't be aware of your life, but I sure hope that I'll be able to still know you in the future.

 

- I don't think I will be able to know you in any capacity in the future.

 

- We had a good run for a while, didn't we?

 

- I will never forget our time together...

 

- I am hurting so much, please talk to me and make it better!!

 

- I wish we could still go on the cruise together...

 

- Don't hate me. I did really care about you and never wanted to hurt you.

 

- I did nothing wrong!! You were unreasonable and abusive to me so many times!!

 

- Forgetting to put your girlfriend's phone number in a backup phone is not a crime, especially when you don't use phone calls or SMS to talk because of the high cost.

 

- You are to sensitive!!

 

- Maybe you *are* just really too high-maintenance for me.

 

- Lending $250 to a good friend is not a bad thing to do!!

 

- No, my best female friend does not have a secret crush on me. Stop being jealous!

 

- White Zinfadel. I can never drink it again.

 

- I hope your new guy makes you happy. He better be good to you.

 

- Did you kiss or **** him when we were still together? Have you already??

 

- I'm getting tested for sexually transmitted infections. Maybe you should, too.

 

- Saying, "I wish you could just cum inside me, because I want you forever!" is a REALLY REALLY REALLY ****ed up thing to say during sex!! Especially when you say you are not even sure about children!! You messed up idiot!!

 

- I shouldn't have let you talk me into a long-distance relationship. You told me to believe, but I had it right.

 

- Using marriage as an ultimatum after 8 months is ****ed up!!!!!

 

- I don't think you're healthy.

 

- We're both not healthy.

 

- I tried my best.

 

- Smokey the Bear.

 

- I will really miss you.

 

- I really really miss you.

 

- I hated it when you called me hubby.

 

- Your belief in silly conspiracy theories is insane!! Chemtrails don't exist!

 

- Your government is not spying on your house.

 

- I wish you and your mother the best. I hope the house gets sold. Take care of the pets for me. I miss them too.

 

- For some reason I feel I should have kissed you more at the Iron Maiden concert. Thank you for trying to get me a beer, even though they closed before you could get one. I know you wanted to let me enjoy my favorite band. That was sweet.

 

- Feel better. I hope you get some film work soon.

 

- Your feelings are not my responsibility anymore! Your new **** buddy can take care of that now!!

 

- Goodbye, Sara. Hugs. No more wakeys. I will miss them.

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I want you completely out of my life, and your girlfriend, too. Every day that I have to see your face is a step backwards in my progress of moving on. Every time I hear your voice, I wish I had ear plugs. Every day I check with my school to see if they have my refund check so that I can get out of here. Every day I think of deleting your number. And her number, too. The only reason I still have them is in case of an emergency where I will unfortunately need your help.

 

It's like living in a prison being stuck here with you. I should have never gotten so ahead of myself and agreed to your moving away with me. My life would be so much better if I left you behind in our home state.

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I started to feel angry today while at work, and started to take it out on a co-worker and I realized it's not right and immediately changed my attitude. I still wonder who you are seeing, and if you're contacting the one that you said you'd marry one day. I know that in matters of the heart you can't pick and choose. It really hurts me that you have her as a friend, as I would have never done that to you, but I guess that's where we are different. Loyalty and fidelity to me is important and you just don't care. One day I'll wish the best for you, but right now I only feel anger. I don't wish bad things on you, but I won't wish you well. I'd like for you to know how it feels to be cheated on by someone on a social networking site. Only then will you be able to put yourself in my shoes. I wish I could turn on a switch that would make me forget, but I will keep going and only worry about doing things that make me feel good.

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I cannot believe you strung me along for your own benifit while trying to get a makeover from me so that you can attract all the women you attract now. I can't believe I paid for all your **** on vacations and cuddled you all night long because you were so needy whenever I was around. Go **** yourself for telling me everytime we were together that none of it was real. I hope you get the karma you deserve you pathetic sad case!

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It's almost like clockwork how typical you are, actually how both of you are. But now that i'm privy to it, i'm suddenly...apathetic, it's strange. Knowing that you do this stuff to be vicious and arrogant...knowing I would see it all, I dunno, it sort of grosses me out.

 

Anyways, I don't love you anymore. I don't think you are someone worth fighting for. In the grand scheme of things, we weren't even together all that long, and I know that at the heart of everything, you do have serious underlying psychological issues. None of it really matters anymore anyways, but all this to say...i'm glad I can finally close this book. Definitely didn't see this ending, but you're an idiot, lol.

 

I forgot what a charismatic person I am, and how i have the ability to connect with totally diverse people on different levels. I lost that sense of myself, and what I have to offer. I don't even really have to try, it just comes naturally. You really wanted to break my spirit, and I don't understand why, but on some level, you must give a crap. You always have sought out that people who will look up to you, not anyone who would challenge you.

 

I'm okay with never speaking again. I don't think I could have ever said that in the past, but now I know that you are spiteful and intentionally do things to be mean. I learned so much through all of these experiences.

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I thought we were going together forever: that was our dream, we talked about it often. I pictured being with you for eternity, I felt that you were my savor, my existence in this world: It was to be with you "us". I have never felt that way about anyone but you: and sadly you have ripped that feeling from me of ever feeling that again for anyone. Because how can I trust that the next person won’t do what you have done to me. Break me down and leave me with nothing and no one.

 

You are the worst thing that ever happened to me, although I do take what you have shown me as a learning experience - I have learned never trust anybody, but myself, never doubt what I feel inside, because of you I don’t want to hear someone say “forever” to me again for the rest of my life because its not true. You have truly shown me that nothing is forever.

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I want to hear your voice soo bad... You know I love you and I know you love me back. But is law school that time consuming to where we can't make this work? I told you that I understand when you cant talk to me and I know your busy and it doesnt bother me because I dont want to hold you back from school. Is this still not enough for you? Why did you have to crush our dreams and hopes of getting married with all this BS..

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I keep thinking how you said one day you'd marry her, and it hurts so much. I fantasize in my head of her NEVER wanting to be with you, and NEVER wanting to marry you and I think that would be as sweet as revenge. But revenge is not sweet. I'd better let life handle you. I'm glad I haven't heard from you, and I hope I NEVER will.

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Wow. Just saw a commercial for the jewelry store you work at, and you were in the background. I'm sure that has done wonders to your already overly inflated ego.

 

It made my heart skip a beat. Here I am sitting alone on a Friday night missing you, and there you are. Just so strange.

 

I can't believe I just saw that.

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