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You know, today I found out someone from uni liked me last year, but couldn't get close to me because you were always by my side. But no more!

Now that I'm no longer with you, I'll make it clear to him and to everyone I'm single and I'll do my best to pretend you don't exist. I just hope this guy still likes me.

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Silver, Baby,

You lied to me. To my face, in writing and over the phone.

I never thought you were capable.

You cheated on me behind my back.

I never thought you were capable.

 

I know about her officially. How could you move on so swiftly and seriously?

What is so great about her than money?

 

I am a good woman, a strong woman and a kind, loving woman.

I loved you.

I still do. I miss you too.

I am more of a woman than you will ever get!!

You'll realize this some day. Then it will be too late.

 

Limiya

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I don't know who I'm writing to anymore but I need to write to get it out.

 

I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. When you broke up with me at the time you did it ripped my world apart because I was already finding work so hard. The thing is now I don't know what to do in life I don't know whether to go back or not. When I chose that path all those years ago part of me decided that I might not matter to many. I might not have kids or get married but I would have a job where I could help people. I have this disgusting need to 'make a difference' and 'make it better for others'. I met you & I wanted to care for you as well.

 

I needed your support but it wasn't fair for you to support me as you were so busy as well. All I wanted you to do was listen & say that you believed in me. But you didn't. You just got mad because I couldn't leave on time or asked you questions at work. You just said that I needed to stop behaving like this as if were that simple.

 

I don't know if the stress of the job affected the quality of our relationship or the other way around. I think a bit of both. I hate to say it but I miss it. I miss my colleagues & I miss the work. I miss the understanding & working things out. In an ideal world I would have had more support. It wouldn't have been so understaffed. There wouldn't have been constant hassle from managers. Nagging constantly when I already have such a tough job to do. I loved it & I hated it at the same time. The good was so good but the bad was so bad it would follow you home & not give up. But I say to myself that is the world which we live in. That is the truth of life. I feel that if I went to another country, a poor one, I would appreciate what we have. But my idealistic mind wants to fix everything & crucifies me if I can't. I'm not sure that the point of life is happiness as it's just a fleeting thought that shows us something is positive to our well being. I felt happy & secure in our relationship but I still experienced fear & sadness. Without you I think I can't rely on someone else only me. I feel like the only way I can do this is to chase my career. I'm falling apart. I'm confused. I'm broken. I'm lost. I'm praying to God that I can gain something from this. This too will pass & I want to have greater insight for it. Ironically, some of the best things have happened when I cared less. I think I agree with the teaching that you can gain peace from distancing from attachments. I wish I were made of tougher stuff. I wish I could let go of my idealism.

 

Thanks for listening. You're 10x better at this on here than in actual person, haha! Unfortunately for me, I still love you & miss you. I'm sorry I wasn't a more together person for you but I think it's okay not to be. Experience is gained through making mistakes. In expecting me & our relationship to be perfect we made it worse. M'eh. I'm finding it hard to sleep. Hopefully this has dejunked me a bit. I could really do with your hug but I won't get it will I.

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I dont really know what to say, I know youre with her and youre happy. But I just cant believe you dont still love me, and I know I sound crazy I couldnt be with you again and not feel worthless after everything youve said to me. I was so excited to start a life with you and you seemed excited too, what happened? I was there during the death of family, when you lost your job, when you were hurt. I consoled you, now whos going to console me? Do you ever think about that? How im alone, how Im coping? You discussed with me how hurt you were when you were dumped unexpectedly, so shouldnt you know im dying over here, where is your compassion? You know me so well, you know how I will react to things, you know im fragile, so you would also know that without you I feel miserable and hopeless. You know I am laying in my bed hating myself, you know this! You know Im thinking about you and her together, please let me know youre hurting. You know im waiting by my phone, but you have no urge to call? You arrogantly told me your self that I will never find a guy who makes me feel the way you do, so how ccould you be so cold and just cut me off. Im tired of thinking about it and its only been a week. Im just going to forget we ever happened because Im tired of feeling sh11ty and that is the only way i will heal. Im so embarrassed that you let her talk to me that way, I know youre not coming back because you burned a bridge completely with me. Even someone as arrogant as you wouldnt think they had the skills to get a girl back after doing that.

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You are one of the most heartless people I have ever met. I did everything for you, and you didn't appreciate a damn thing. You didn't deserve anything I gave you, especially my love. I have so much love to give, and I gave it to the wrong person. You knew how much I loved you and would have done anything for you, but you took me for granted. After 2.5 years, you left me over the phone, and then blew me off the next day when you wanted to talk in person. What a coward. How can you treat me with such disrespect after everything I did for you? Thank you for showing me the low person that you are, even though I had already known that while we were still together. You never cared for me the way I did for you. You are just a cold person. And everyone knows it. You are hateful and racist, and I can't live like that. I can't live the rest of my life with someone who I am afraid to talk to because they will get mad. You were always making me cry, and you hardly cared. You would just tell me to get out of your house, or hang up on me and turn your phone off. I wish I would have loved myself enough to leave you a long time ago. But over time, I stopped loving myself less and started loving you more, even though you were cruel to me. What a mistake that was. I will never let another guy treat me the way you treated me. I will never let another guy disrespect me and make me feel so low about myself. I am more valuable than that. You are not valuable and you are definitely not worthy of love. You are going to regret everything you have done to me, and you are definitely going to regret leaving me. I was the best thing that you are ever going to find, and no one is going to put up with you like I did. You are going to miss me, and everything I did for you. You will never have someone love you like that. You did not even deserve my love. But now you know what it feels like to lose it. So you are going to have to live with that. The one day you decide to come back because you realized your mistake, is the day I am going to have moved on.

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You should have never sent me that letter; you should have never contacted me. You had the chance to clear the air and speak, but instead you chose to stay silent and hide your guilt behind your happiness -- however happy you perceived to be. That letter wasn't written as an apology, it was done to appease the guilt you've felt ever since you dropped me and ran in the arms of someone else before I could even turn my head.

 

When I shook your hand goodbye, I know it seemed weird to you but I did that with a purpose in mind. Consider us to be strangers. As far as I'm concerned, I moved here alone with no one with me. I sure as hell will not call attention to someone who claimed to have loved me so and then played with my heart and my feelings, only to run away because they were "confused." You are no more important to me than a random passenger on the train. You are no more important to me than the person in front of me at our local grocery store. If I make eye contact with you, it will be fleeting and with no emotion.

 

I wish you had stayed silent as the day I left.

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had a dream you were crying and trying to get back with me last night, saying sorry and you were wrong etc etc

 

il admit it, i woke up a little bit sad and missed you. i played a game on my phone and it reminded me of the times we used to snuggle in bed and play the games on my phone.

 

looking back, everything was so great, and i still cant see where it went wrong!

 

i bet your diary is filled with page upon page about me. everything how it was the right choice, the wrong choice, you hope im happy, you miss me, you hate me, you love me. too bad you think life is like a tv show, cos your only going to hurt yourself in the long run

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G, I can't STAND it that you have moved on already just after a measly two weeks. Together for four and a half years, married for two. The being married aspect must have meant NOTHING to you.

I hate that I sometimes cry over you. I hate it that you have taken away the life we had and everything is different now. Because of you I have to completely change the way I live just to be able to afford staying this home, if I can at all do that.

I hate it that you didn't put up any real hearty fight for me despite how sorry you said you were and how much you loved and missed me.

I hate how on Tuesday you said you would do anything have me back. By Friday you had found a new apartment and were moving on.

You are a weak deceitful pathetic cowardly man. And even if you turned up at my door right this moment begging for me, I would turn you away.

we would never be the same again now. I don't want you in my life. But hurts so bad letting you go. I am sadqnd utterly broken and just trying to ride with it until the bad feelings go away

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I had a really crap nights sleep last night. When does this get better? Since I started to accept our break up now I'm starting to mourn the loss of my career. I don't know where I'm going. I feel like I'm nothing. I want your comfort. Before it ddn't really matter what I did because I had you. But your not there are you & I'm not sure you ever will be again. I really want to come home I feel like you are a family member who has died. I wish I was one of those people who found it really easy to pick themselves up: you're one right? I hate not feeling worthwhile. Is this a punishment or a blessing? It just is.

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I'm feeling so lonely today. I really miss you. I'm so frustrated with life. I'm trying so hard to be strong & learn but what if there is just no point. Why did this happen? I'm just stuck without you. I'm so lonely. Maybe this is not growth after all. Maybe it is nothing. I want my best friend back. How has this happened?

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I still love you and miss you all the time. I want to forgive you... but I just can't. You left me just when I needed you most. You did things you knew would hurt me and you just gave up on us and there was nothing I could do. For all those reasons and more, I can never trust you. I wish I could just get on with my life.

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This week will mark nine months since our BU. Nine months since I've heard from you. It's so weird how time can pass so quickly and so slowly simultaneously. Sometimes I'll be sitting in my apartment, and I'll look at the other end of the couch where you used to sit, and it feels like a figment of my imagination that you ever sat there. Your image is just a fuzzy outline in my mind's eye now. It all seems like it was made up and never really happened. Time and memory are puzzling to me. How can we be so in love with someone one moment, and nine months later, it all feels like a dream we woke up from too soon and can't really remember?

 

I don't know if you read the letter I sent you. Even though I fear receiving it back in the mail marked "return to sender," I don't regret it. Although I'm still sad and I still miss you, my heart feels at peace now because I said what I needed to say. Since I sent it, I don't feel the guilt or the conflict inside myself. I just feel sad for you, that something is so broken inside you that you can be like this. I guess it's true that I always wished I could fix that broken part... but I'm learning to accept that I never had the tools to do that. No one does, except you.

 

Nine months ago, when I watched you in your t-shirt, jeans and bare feet, washing dishes in my kitchen, I never imagined that we would be apart now, living separate lives in different states. I never would have imagined that would be one of the last times I saw you. I never would have imagined that, nine months later, I'd buy a house and be moving away myself. I've tried to take a lesson from all of that and remind myself that we need to appreciate each moment as we live it, because we never know when our lives will change and those moments will be lost forever and replaced with a new reality. For some reason, I remember making a conscious effort that day to look at you a little longer and to try to burn the moment into my mind, so I would never forget. Did I know then that we were nearing the end? I wish it had worked, but even that image of you is getting blurry now.

 

As I said in the letter, I wish only the best for you. I hope you find happiness and peace, just as I hope the same for myself. No matter where my life takes me - and no matter how much the memories fade - I know that you'll always own a piece of my heart - the piece that is dedicated to one's first love - the piece that sends out unexpected pangs at little reminders. That piece will always be yours.

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I'm done caring about what or who you do. If being with a married woman fills that void in your life then have at it. What's the point in loving you anyways. I was stupid to care this long. Thanks for ruining my and chang friendship. And I'm sure she thanks you for ruining her marriage. its good to see that a married woman can be to you what I never could be. I loved you ____ I would have walked to hell and back for you. I have been to hell and back because of you.

 

have a great life spending time and money on a woman who's married. hope it all works out for you in the end. but think about this. she cheats on her HUSBAND for you. she will cheat on you. Hope shes everything I'm not.

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I get really sad because I could maintain my love for you but you could not do the same to me. I took time to appreciate you and what I had. My biggest mistake was my own lack of self care. I am truly so sad that we broke up. I'm sad you can't tell me why. It hurts that I could love you this way but you can't love me. I feel like there is something wrong with me.

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