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You're really gone aren't you? My first love and partner for the past 6 1/2 years. I'd thought we were so lucky to have each other. I see a lot of myself in you and we have similar interests and family backgrounds. I know we argued a lot near the end but I never thought it was irreparable. I'm just so heartbroken to think that we couldn't talk things through properly before it ended. It was important for me to how you felt and you could never see us working out. I felt like you really just didn't care at the end and I felt objectified. To say: I can't see myself marrying you and it's not right make me feel like I'm missing something. What if I'm faulty and can never relate to others?

 

It hurts so much that you can throw away all our happy memories together. It hurts so much that you can throw us away. I love you so much. The thing is I took the time to love you that much because I wanted to. The thing is, you're so unique I don't think I'll ever find another like you (maybe it's for the best). You have been my bestfriend for so long and I feel so disrespected by what you have done.

 

What your actions are telling me is that you blame me or are just running away. It felt like you were with me in the end because in theory you knew I was a 'good girlfriend' but you were waiting to find something spectacular. I would do if there was nothing else. I thought you were a good boyfriend but didn't believe in spectacular people. It just hurts so much to know that I saw a future for us and you didn't. I've been rejected in the past but being rejected by the one person who knows me better than any other person really kills.

 

I keep having really vivid images of our home in my head and it's hard to think I won't be back. A part of my brain wants to believe in woman's intuition but I just don't trust my feelings anymore because they're all conflicted. I can't believe you cannot see what we had.

 

I hope you are skipping freely through the streets of our city. Enjoying the freedom you have without me. I hope life is care free. I fell in love with a decent man all those years ago. I want him back.

 

I've had some tough times through the past few years and they have brought me crashing down to earth. They have humbled me and made me realise I'm vulnerable and human. But this just makes me realise how insignificant I am. Truly. In a funny way I don't know if it's a blessing to know this. I've wondered if you've ever felt this vulnerability? I know you did once but you lost it at some point.

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I'm fed up of thinking about you all day and not even being able to escape you in my dreams, I'm having problems sleeping and what hurts the most is that I'm sure you sleep peacefully every night without even a second thought for me or the hell you've put me through. I hope you really do live to regret how much of a coward you were and come to realise that you have issues and it wasn't all on me

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I really want you to call me to say good night, just like you did every night for the past 2.5 years. I know it hasn't even been 2 weeks since you left, but how am I ever supposed to get used to you being gone? Although there were some nights when you would call to say good night, and you didn't want to talk and you wouldn't even ask how my day was. I don't know why I miss you. I guess I just miss the good times, although there were more times you made me cry than anything. I suppose I just have to get used to you being gone. I absolutely will not miss everything you did wrong to me, and every time you made me cry. I loved you more than I loved myself, and that's why this is so hard for me. You didn't deserve it. I am trying to love me now. And if you ever come back, you will have to be crawling on your knees begging for my forgiveness, and that needs to be a long time from now. I can decide then what I want to do. If I do ever take you back, I will not make the same mistakes. I will love myself, and will not let you treat me like you used to. You and I both have some growing up to do. I just hope you realize that. If you ever come back, you better treat me right. But for now, it's time to be selfish and focus on me. You will miss me, I can guarantee that. But you made your bed, so you can lie in it.

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sigh, where do i begin!?

 

i really miss you. you might not be perfect, but your the only person ive met who is pretty much near damn perfect. i still find you beutiful, and i can pretend to myself that i hate you, but the truth is i could never hate you, you meant too much to me, and im sure you feel the same way about me.

 

i was listening to some of your songs today, and i nearly shed a tear. made me think back at all the happy times when we were so in love that nothing else mattered apart from being with eachother.

 

im so dissapointed in you, all i keep thinking about is the time i was very upset and angry at you, and on the verge of breaking up with you. i was thinking really hard, and i decided to stick with you, and it got better like i knew it would. but i just keep thinking about that text you sent me .. "so do you still want to be with me? because i dont want you to go x"

 

you were so in love with me, i know the feeling that you are about to lose someone all too well, you were scared, but i reassured you things would get better and we had to make some changes. it warmed my heart when i got that text. i told you i would fight for you, and i always did, but for some reason you never wanted to fight for me. i never got the chance to send the "i dont want you to go x" text. i actually brings a tear to my eye, and really makes me want to call you up right now and ask if you remember.

 

that would be stupid. i have a point to prove to myself and to you. i dont need you, you dont need me, but our lives were a hell of alot better when we were together, and i know for a fact you cant deny that. i hope one day i will get the full truth from you about why you broke up with me. personally i think you got cold feet, took me for granted, and maybe felt like i was holding you back from doing the things you wanted. well youve had plenty of time to do the things you wanted, and you will have more time. i hope you lie in bed at night thinking "it wasnt so bad, why did i do that again?"

 

maybe one day, eh?

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Its now 6am in the morning and I'm finding it difficult to fall back as sleep. I know its only been near 3 weeks but i still cant imagine my world without you, all the good times we had, the life we shared is now gone forever. We may have differences but who doesn't. Why did you need to do this - you said you tried too many times but I'm still here willing to try forever with you. If you knew you weren't going to spend the rest of your life with me, why did you go down this road with me. I really did love you more than you ever know.

 

I am getting better as time passes by even though i see you everyday. My heart and my mind is slowly drifting away from what we had, sometimes i look at you as a stranger because the person i fell in love with is no longer around. I have already envisioned the day you leave for good - i try to feel my surrounding and imagine a life on my own so that i can prepare it mentally and to also make to peace with myself. I still miss us a lot but i will force myself to look forward to see what the future would bring.

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I miss you so much today. I really thought that this would get better with time but I don't think it is. Some days I'm okay and other days I feel like absolute garbage. Today is 3 weeks since we last talked...the 3 texts we exchanged and I have missed you SO much. I love you so much and I want you so badly. I've refrained contact mostly because I don't want to mess things up. If we have any chance, it needs to be you that comes to that decision...not me persuading and insisting on asking you questions. Sometimes I wonder if telling you that we couldn't talk for a long time was a bad idea....I hope that it wasn't too harsh on you. Everyone who talks about reconciliation has said that it takes a significant amount of time apart and that if you were to come back it would be when I least expect it. Today I just feel raw. I can't focus on anything school related because I just want you. I want you and I need you. I told you that I didn't because I'm trying to convince myself that I don't...I guess that's logical..isn't it? That I don't need you? I know I'll be okay eventually, but this is just so so so so so so awful. What happened to fighting for us? Where did your love go? How did it disappear so quickly? I wonder if you're lying or maybe just confused...or if this is really it forever...if I just never get to be with you again...snuggle on your couch and have family holidays together and go thrift shopping and to the towne to watch cheap movies. I've been trying so hard to tell myself that "Gods plan for me is bigger than the plan that I have for myself" but it's so so hard. Why do I have to go through all of this then? Couldn't the plan have at least ended mutually? Can't I have a more concrete reason to stop loving you than that I can't anymore? I hate crying this hard and being this sad. I miss you so much. You told me that it would be too hard to keep talking because you needed to move on too, but how does that make sense? If this is so hard for you, then why did you do it? And how can you be confident? I am in pain with how much I miss you. I am really struggling to move on. I don't want anyone else. I don't. I just want you.

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I've actually been pretty happy these days. There are definitely moments of weakness when I'd like a text from you, but at the end of the day...I'm relieved to not have heard from you. I'm meeting other people and getting over things once again. The only difference is that I will never ever take you back again. I have never felt so concrete about that as I do now. In our silence, I see far more clearly and recognize just how poorly you treated me. Plus once a cheater, always a cheater. I've learned what to stay away from and for that I'm thankful I met you. You're a prime example of what I don't want.

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I just want to pull you close and squeeze you tightly to me. I want to trace my fingers down your cheek and kiss you deeply. I miss you calling me at bloody 545am every morning on your way to the gym lol and after your gym class and after your business meetings, and at night before you sleep. N your bright blue eyes- how they light up when you smile. How they gleam when you look at me. How they soften.

God I miss your crinkly eyes. I miss talking to you. I miss hugging you.

You were so good for me.

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I can't believe even after you do wrong it's you pulling away from me.

How can you tell me you love me more than anything but cannot be with me anymore.

I can't believe you have blamed life's stresses on you detaching yourself. my god don't you get it that life isn't perfect. Are you just going to run away from responsibility and things you cannot control all your life? ?????

And our life was so much more settled than what's had

been with some of the difficulties we had been through and it happens now! now when it was all going in the direction we wanted.

obviously not for you.

So you need time and space to 'find yourself '

I can't believe you can just turn away from me. If it hurts that much, why are you doing it? !!!

The jealousy is already eating me up inside that you being you, will not have anytime to grieve, but you'll be looking for attention from new women, for self worth. I hate the thought of you lusting over someone new. I'm already comparing myself over this non existent person. How unhealthy is that!

My Mum says to think of it a different way. He's got his freedom but I have mine too! I can go out and do all the things he is doing.

And even when I dint want to I am forcing myself. I could stay in bed forever, face aching from all the tears I've cried.

So I push on. I'm trying to forget him and NC. Force the feelings out of my head when I'm around others.

From the outside I probably look ok. Only my family have seen me with my guard down.

I hope in a few months time, when he's had space to 'find ' himself, he will realise it's been a huge mistake. I hope he suffers and misses me like crazy.

And I hope by then, I'm me again. And happier.

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Does anyone have any positive stories to suggest this works? I mean has anyone successfully gotten back together with an ex after splitting up and trying the 30 day no contact rule.

 

Im newly single unfortunately and I love my ex gf with a passion. I made mistakes and feel confident I have learned from them to have a happy healthy relationship this time around if given another chance. The last we talked a few days ago she said she needs to be alone and to get back to a point where she feels like herself again, feels more confident about her decisions in life and gets some direction for her life. She feels our relationship was detrimental to that and has been "a huge strain to her well-being" Although she did also say she misses me and my touch and the things we share in common. But right now she insists on needed to be single and all she can commit to is being friends. Today is day 2 of no contact, I'm scared.

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Although I miss you, care for you and love you I'm feeling a lot more at peace with myself. I don't know if it was how I thought, my job or our relationship that made things so hard. All I know is that when I was with you I didn't feel respected & appreciated. It seemed that I could do nothing right. I'm much more grounded now. I don't know if we are good together. I'm more about appreciating what's around me. I hope you find what you are looking for (maybe you already have). I really miss & love you but I don't miss our relationship. Maybe you're just not right for me either (but that has been your choice)

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I am angry this morning. I am hurt and frustrated. You stopped feeling like yourself around me? Really? That’s all? You didn’t even give me a chance to explain how you felt and you CAN NOT say that it’s just growing apart. There was a lot of **** and stress this summer and I know that I made mistakes but I tried really hard and you just quit. I don’t think you have ANY ****ING IDEA how much this has sucked for me. I am so tired of waking up every morning feeling sad and wondering when I’ll wake up and be really excited about my day. No, I wake up and I think “oh, right, I don’t know if I’ll see my best friend in the next month…glad he doesn’t give two ****s enough to even say how he’s feeling, he’s just buried all of his ****ing thoughts and is covering this whole situation up with saying that he’s not feeling anything and we grew apart. whatEVER. I am so frustrated. I really really REALLY do not grasp the whole concept of why this has to happen. Heartbreak. For anyone. Unrequited love for ANYONE. It’s the worst feeling EVER and, you didn’t even give me the time of day - you said it just wasn’t worth your time because you didn’t see us going anywhere. I really feel like I deserved more than that after so long. If you couldn’t explain it to me, how could you be explain it to yourself? I just miss you, okay? This whole situation just sucks so much.

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I just wish you'd show me kindness & compassion. Even as a friend to tell me how you were feeling about our relationship when it ended. You act like I don't deserve it. How after such a long relationship, which was loving, could you not explain to me? I just cannot comprehend your avoidance. I'm slowly taking the steps to move on. The difficulty with this is I want to tell you about it. I realise that you just don't care. I'm glad in a way that you haven't contacted me because I'm spending time with me & not being criticised for it. I don't know why we weren't right together. The resistance came from you. This freedom is what I needed but it's sad you broke my heart. Peace dude x

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It's been 6 days since we've last spoken--the longest we've gone with no contact since we've known each other. It gives me all kinds of mixed emotions. It makes me somewhat happy because I can feel the wounds finally starting to heal, yet sad at the same time because I miss you, still care about you and I wonder on a daily basis how you're doing. Even though our relationship only lasted a few months, and it's been 2 months since we've broken up, you cross my mind every day, even though you've obviously moved on. There's nothing more I wanna do right now than call you or go see you in person, but I know if I do, it's gonna interrupt the healing process and I'll be back in that dark place, feeling so low that I wouldn't even wish it upon my worst enemy. Hope you're doing well and making progress your schooling.

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I don't regret texting you yesterday. I know you're not gonna reply, but you know when things just build up in your chest and you feel overwhelmed, and the tension and heaviness and yearning just keeps building until you can't take anymore of it?

I love you. I can't believe we haven't talked in 5 days. Feels somewhat surreal.

Hope you're well.

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