Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sunshineband]

Oh yeah, and I've just realised you got K9 off your netbook by doing a system restore. Damn, I should have thought of that and wiped all your system restore points. I bet you knew about that even when I installed it which is why you weren't too worried and why you didn't need Serena to have the password and why you won't ever need to contact me to get it. Well I live and learn.

[crashboombang]

So I heard at the weekend that you've been telling some of the guys that everything was my fault. I think that's pathetic. I never claimed to be perfect but I couldn't have tried harder to stand by you. If you're finding life lonely now, which I suspect you are, then you deserve to feel that way. Oh and by the way, you were rubbish in bed.

[Sukiyaki]

I just wanted to say hi and that I still think about you all the time. I know that I will always love you and that nothing will ever change that. I'm still forcing myself to turn to another page in my life, but I'm still going back hoping that I'm missing a page. I have a date with a guy soon... I'm just trying to put myself out there. It's weird because I feel like I'm stabbing you in the back..but you don't care. I don't want to put my life on hold for you..I'm doing something different..

[Sukiyaki]

I can feel myself about to go to the phone and try calling you one last time..but I'm not. I don't want to start over. I want to continue..I don't want to beg for you or anything. I just want to talk to you that's all...

[soybeans]

I miss that feeling of being able to call you whenever I needed you and knowing you would be on the other end. Despite everything you did, I have to say that you were always there for me. Always. You were a great support.

[crashboombang]

My mum and dad came back from their holiday today, you know you always said you wanted to take me to that same place on honeymoon.. when they booked the holiday, you and I were still together and you were telling them about all the best places to go (from the first time you went there yourself as a teenager), and I was so excited that one day I'd be getting to go there too. Well tonight they were telling me all about the place and I felt a lump in my throat, as now I'm never going to have that holiday and I miss you and its times like this that the feelings come back and I've got those godforsaken rose-tinted glasses on again...

[trishlove]

I hope you're happy. God knows I am. I'm having the time of my life! Too much, I guess. It's weird not knowing much about how you're doing now. I can feel the past being just that: the distant past. It's like it's not a part of me anymore. Weird.

[lilypadgirl]

I dreamt about you last night. I dreamt that you understood all my pain, that you answered all my questions and asked for my forgiveness, that you told me how much you wanted to be with me and only me and how much you wanted to build a future together, that you told me no matter how long or how hard you were going to earn my trust back and you were going to prove how much you loved me, that you took action to learn how to rebuild my trust and took action to show me your love. I woke up and realized that you will never do that. Not for me.

 

There's a lot of pain in that realization, but also a sense of peace. I will find someone who loves me the way I deserve to be loved and I will find my happiness. I hope you find peace and happiness too. I'm sorry I couldn't be that for you. I love you.

[soybeans]

I have many unanswered questions about the way we ended or what our relationship meant to you. Just knowing that I can't go to you for the answers kills me. You do not have the answers. You do not want to have anything to do with me, as if I am a highly contagious virus. So what do I do? I sit with the silence- it speaks volumes. It tells me you didn't value me enough, if at all. It tells me you happily discarded me without so much as a second glance back. You know, this isn't a game. This is my life, my feelings, my love and emotions that I invested into you. You can't just do this to someone and get away scott free. Yet.....you did just that! Funny how life works. Well I can only hope one day down the road that you feel even an ounce of what I have been going through these past few months. I don't wish harm onto you, I just want you to realize what the hell you did to me.

 

I see you on the dating site ALL day. Wonder if you lost your job yet again. Hah. I can just picture you laying around smoking pot searching for your next victim(s). Don't you realize no one will ever be good enough for you? You said it yourself that you had the best and yes, you really did. Though I cannot put stock into anything you EVER said to me, I know that much was true. So good luck. To you and to your next girlfriend or date, she really has no idea what she's in for. As much as I hurt, I know it is better for me to be away from the abuse and pain you inflicted on me. Doesn't mean I don't still think about the good times...trying to get that in check...

 

Oh, and I did think about the possibility of you reaching out on my birthday. Funny though...I don't really recall you even saying happy birthday to me last year despite us spending the entire day together. All you did was start a crazy screaming fight for no reason the minute I woke up. I give you credit for attempting to at least salvage the evening by taking me to that nice restaurant you spent MONTHS getting me all excited about. But I bet you just wanted to go there for yourself and wanted some arm candy. It's not even like you wanted to treat me or anything, you just wanted that big steak dinner.

 

When the hell is this going to end.

[NewDayforMe]

I can't believe you chose alcohol over me. Yes, I can. What a waste. Where is the return on my investment? What a waste of my time and energy. Trying to help you. Giving and giving and giving into that emotional black hole you are. A vampire. Sucking the life and joy out of me. Never giving back. Then blaming me. I want back all the time I wasted trying to get you help. The money I spent so you would eat a decent meal instead of spending all your money on alcohol. Never a thank you. Only complaints about the things I was not, could not be, would not do. I must remember this when I think of the good you. The potential that I saw, that I believed I could salvage. I thought I could help you, fix you, heal that scared little boy who had a terrible childhood and had suffered so much pain, but I could not. I cannot. I only succeeded in feeling helpless and frustrated and alone. I only succeeded in losing myself. I didn't think that this would be so hard. It seemed I had so little to lose. So much to gain. And that is true. It is all true and I am free now. But still I wanted you to choose me. To thank me. To recognize all the things I sacrificed for you, to help you, in the vain hope I could make you happy--release you from your prison of sadness and torment. You did not. I could not. I cannot. I give up. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. I hope some day you find peace in your life. I know now that love does not conquer all. Not when it cannot be accepted by another. At least I tried. And now to save myself....

[sunshineband]

That was a painful football match to watch. Not just because of the way England played (lol!) but because I know if things had been different I'd have been watching it snuggled up to you. I think I'm finally starting to accept on some level that it's over but now that makes me incredibly sad about what I have lost. I really miss you.

 

Last night I evern dreamed about you. I dreamed that I was sorting something out with one of your mates and we had to go back to your house. And you were there but you went out so that we wouldn't have the pain of having to talk, see each other and stuff. And then once I'd sorted whatever it was out with your mate, I went off, knowing that was that.

 

See even my dreams tell me we're through. Meh.

[dunfalma]

So I discovered you started talking to the girl on facebook and have moved on from the dating site. So are you thinking of dating her or flipping flopping still like you did with me? I feel so sad - I go to places around the city where we hung out and I remember you. Had a weak moment today - first one in 4 days. But I will never talk to you again. never.

[crashboombang]

I know the text I sent you earlier in the day was pointless but I had to say how I was feeling. So many broken dreams and plans we'd spoken about, that have now all been thrown away. I can't believe this time last year we hadn't even met - we were chatting online and phoning each other.. do you remember how I used to like the way you said my name in your northern accent? There will never be anyone like you.

[sunshineband]

Oh god there are still so many reminders of you at the moment. Like tonight I went to choir for a music job, First time since I'd accompanied in April and then come straight to yours. I remember that night. After a busy day, I remember it felt like I was "coming home" to you. We could have been great together. And you ****ed it up.

 

So yeah, I still miss you, I still think of you loads, I still wonder what we'd be doing if we were still together.

 

It sucks that I am finally realising that things are over between us because that's now making me realise that our memories are just that - memories of the past. And I know that soon you will fade into a chapter of my life rather than the whole novel. And that means I'm starting to let go of you and that I'll say goodbye sometime.

 

I'm dreading that day.

[soybeans]

I don't think I have fully accepted it. I thought I was before but in the back of my mind I knew I was still in denial. Well, I'm starting to really now.

 

I'm not focused on missing you as much. I just feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone. Maybe I had a bad night. Maybe I'm just thinking about my birthday last year and how sh*tty you made it. You ruined it. I was so excited to share that day with you. You made me so upset and I couldn't see it. I just looked past it all just to keep you.

 

And to think that I was so so blinded that I didn't even step back and realize the situation for what it was. I was so stupid. I'm still stupid for thinking of you. I'm stupid for writing to you here all the time when it will all go unread.

 

When will I just realize you don't care. Never did. And never will.

[lilypadgirl]

I can't believe I fell for your words again. All I ever wanted was for you to genuinely acknowledge and understand my pain and tell me you're sorry for hurting me and you want my forgiveness and to earn my trust and show me how much you love me. But apparently that's too hard. Apparently you want to put all the blame on me and can't even see how painful everything has been for me. I keep giving you a window to talk and you keep trying to make me the one at fault. I can't believe I keep allowing myself to be vulnerable to you. Why do you do this to me when you claim to love me? You can't even swallow your pride to ask for my forgiveness? You can't even tell me you're sorry for hurting me? Am I worth so little to you? Was your love even real?

[lilypadgirl]

I can't believe that just happened. Thank you. Thank you for helping me crush any bit of last hope I had about us. I'm sorry that I acted crazy, but I had to act on that last bit of hope. That last proof to myself that you were never going to be able to put away your pride and understand my pain and be there for me. I just can't believe this is who you really are. But I'll come to terms with it eventually. I love you so much, but I don't even know if the person I love was real. There's so much love and pain in me right now that I wish could tear out. But I will heal. I really wished we could have worked it out. I really wish you could understand my pain and at least asked my forgiveness for hurting me. But it is what it is. It's just really hard to believe. I hope you find happiness. I will always wish that for you. Goodbye.

[soybeans]

I just want to be happy on the one day out of the year that I should be. I don't want you to fill my thoughts...can I go 24 hours without lamenting about you for once?

 

Yet I am still left wondering if you remember what today is. You either do or you don't and if you do you won't say anything. Why would you? It would be so counterproductive based on your actions (or lack there of) not to mention the way you walked out on me.

 

So. Screw you. I want to try to enjoy my day as much as possible. Gonna make up for the hell you put me through last year.

[bluexin99]

One minute we were holding hands and telling each other how much we loved one another. The next minute, we became complete strangers. I admit I am finding it incredibly hard in confronting myself that we are no longer together. I think about you every now and then - you are still the first person I think of every single morning.

 

I guess the hardest part of this all is that there was not a single warning that all of this would happen to us. I think I deserved a signal so that I could mentally prepare myself for all of this. I used the exam period to distract from thinking about you but now that it is over, you are creeping back. Life is going to be so different now you are no longer a part of it. After all, you have taken a part out of it. So now, I have to find something else to replace that missing part.

 

I wanted to talk to you after it happened but you didn't want to. I felt insulted because you rejected me so I told myself that I would not approach you ever again - and I won't ever do that because I have dignity. I did not do the wrong thing yet I am the one that should beg you to talk to me? I don't get this anymore. I know you're embarrassed and that you don't want to see me.

 

I know subconsciously, I haven't give up on our relationship and that I am lingering onto a final speck of hope that you would approach me. However, I know the harder I hope, the more disappointed I will be. It's probably never going to happen because you have the reasons to not want to see me again. I will give myself another 4 days - if at 12:59:59PM on the 25th June 2012, you still have not approached me then I will officially kill off that desperate speck of hope.

 

At most I can tell myself that I will be over you one day. I will get better. I will stop feeling crap about all of this. Someday, my mind will not even spend a second on you. You will stop being the first person nor the last person that I think of each and every day.

[sunshineband]

Friday 22nd June

 

Hi my lovely

I’ve been so tempted to phone you or text you or write to you today, that I’m just going to get all this down. I just wanted you to know that I still dream about you at night, and I still think of you loads by day. In fact, in last night’s dream, we were both naked in a car park together, but that’s another story lol!

 

I was doing OK today until I walked out of school at lunchtime, down the hill back towards the car. For some reason, walking that route always reminds me of you so strongly. And then I come out onto the A610 and see the signs for Nottingham and that’s a tough tough tough one. It’s a good job I had an appointment this afternoon and knew I had to get home, otherwise I would have been so tempted to drive to your house and just sit outside and see if you were there.

 

At least I’m not turning into some crazy real-life stalker lady lol!

 

I wanted you to know that if life really does flash before your eyes before death, then I will look forward to the 6 months I spent with you being part of that. I wanted you to know that I will always remember you. I will always remember the connection we had, the sparks that flew every time we talked or touched. I will always remember the mega hugs, the soft caresses, the sexual adventure we were on. Those times are so precious to me and I will hold them in a special place and cherish them.

 

One of the things I miss the most is the huge massive gong sound my phone made when a text from you came in. And also the funny Star Wars music when you rang me. It’s beyond sad that I’ll never hear from you again and my phone will never make those sounds again.

 

I thought I might be getting over you this week a bit. Perhaps I am, but what that does is leave a huge aching gap in my heart and waves of sadness that that wash over me, plus a physical stabbing pain like a punch in the stomach that makes me feel sick. Why am I telling you this? One, so that you know how important our time together was because it’s taking me a long time to get over it, and two, to give you some idea of what your actions caused. I’ve no idea how you’ll be feeling or if you still miss me. I like to think you do.

 

I have to remember and remind myself that as well as the man I loved, there was another man who I pity so that I don’t forget why we’re not together any more. I realised this week that there was a way you can get round the K9 software by restoring your netbook to a previous state. I have a feeling you’ll know that already.

 

So that’s it basically. I am a mixture of sadness, longing, hurt and pain. I have some good moments, but nowhere near enough yet. I know this isn’t really a letter to you. This is just me pouring out yet more angst. I won’t send it, I’ll post it on a useful online forum I know.

 

Take care and know that you were loved

[Mayforce]

I thought I was in better moving on stage this month since I have less crying and didn't check you as much as before. But I found I've started dreaming of you more and more.

 

Last evening, I woke up from the dream with calling you with crying voice that you hugged on girl of your friends ( strangers) and told them I was your ex girlfriend when I was looking for you in unknown streets and shops. I told you how sad and mean you said that to them in front of me. And you answered me with cold face, "when we had the moments touching the marriage and family subject, why didn't you tell or show me your true feeling? You'd missed your chances."

 

What you said was so cruel and direct, and I was trying to tell you that you misunderstood me. I was like you thinking us together in our future. There were some stupid misunderstanding. Please don't let these stop us.

 

But in the dream, when I walked over 3 4 streets, from shops to shops, finally I saw you was in front of a store with a group of unknown friends. When I was so delighted to see you and running to you, your face from friendly with your friends turned to distance face when you saw me. And suddenly you lifted a girl up like hinting me she is your new date something, and told those people "she is my ex gf"

 

Your speech knocked my head badly and told me that it's my fault that I didn't tell you my true feeling/answer when you told me yours.

 

I was so sad speaking to you and even I started crying and had tear in my eyes then these emotion was too much for a sleeping person so I woke up with tear and words in my throat for you.

 

Later last night, the TV played 2 movies, one is "the pursuit of happiness" in 2008, which we watched together in Odeon cinema; the other one is " A good year" which was shooting in Gordes which was our first summer holiday and our first camping in France.

 

We watched so many movies together and they all remind me of you. You brought me such big and interesting parts of my life. It's so hard for me to find someone to overwrite those memory. I wish I can tell you these but I wonder it will just hurt you and me if I send these to you by mail, if you just want to move on.

 

Or, perhaps, You do have new date now so somehow I had this dream. I know I am such pathetic not over you. I am trying. Or trying to put me back the right pat. If you also think of me or have the feeling something like this, pls, I wish anyone or any it give us encourage and hint to make us speak to each other again.

 

I know I am still in love with you. I am sorry for myself and to you. I still want to have you in my future, Honey.

[meinreallife]

So.... you're married now. My daily visit to my thoughts had to change. I let you go. Crazy, but you still show up in the corners. I tell you to "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" and that works. And I am OK. I know...and I've always known that it would never be the right thing for us. Too many years....uh my marriage. The thing is, I'm different. I am not the person that I was before I met you. I am a soul in search of more. I really, honestly believe you are happy and that does make me happy. I do miss you AND I miss having your ghost around to talk to. I gave you up about three months ago and this is the first time I let you back in. I had a bad day. I didn't get a job offer I had interviewed for. I didn't really want the job, I just wanted to be offered. It would be awesome to hear from you. Life is what happens while we are making plans. C, you are wonderful.

[TriColors]

Dear X, I'm sick of running into you at random places. Here's hoping I don't see you tonight.

[patterned]

I miss you and I am sorry for the part I played in all of this.

[Tom1990]

Please contact me, please contact me, I don't want to go on like this forever, I'm tired of missing you, please contact me, give me one more chance, just one more chance, I didn't know what I was saying, I didn't know what I was doing, please contact me, just one more chance. Please.