Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Liraele]

By the time you pull your head out of the sand, you will have missed another beautiful opportunity. You are 31 years old, and responsible for your life, your choices, and what you do with what you're given. It makes me sad that you push away everything good, and when things get rough, I think you'll always seek validation elsewhere. I wish I could help you grow into the person you have the potential to be, but that's not my job anymore. You have a past habit of choosing ones that will destroy you rather than build you up... maybe that's why when I tried, you never saw it. Never cared. I don't know. I don't even feel anymore... anything except sadness that I couldn't help you more, and eventually that too will fade, I'm sure.

[thelastsong]

I was too damn nice to you. Enough of that. From now on, I'm looking out for number one, and if that means I'm single for the rest of my life, then so be it. I'd rather be alone than let someone walk all over me again.

[Melting]

You just lost the best thing that happened in your life and you know it, that is why your trying to get me back. Well guess what buddy, Im moving on.....

[lonelyheart2]

I knew I'd bump in to you today, I feel sappho's description describes my feelings perfectly,

If I meet

You suddenly, I can’t

Speak – my tongue is broken;

A thin flame runs under

My skin; seeing nothing,

Hearing only my own ears

Drumming, I drip with sweat;

Trembling shakes my body

And I turn paler than

Dry grass. At such times

Death isn’t far from me.

[cupcake22]

I tried for 5 years to make this relationship work even after you cheated on me multiple times. I ignored the pain and fought hard to keep the relationship whole because that is how much I loved you. You aren't good for me and soon I hope to believe that. I will always love you, but I need to love ME more! I hope you realize that I will not come back to you after you have your fun this time. You will never have a healthy relationship with anyone unless you deal with your break ups. That was one major part of our downfall. You weren't over your ex for the first 2 years of our relationship and you used me to forget about her. You are doing the same exact thing to this new girl. It's only been one week and you've alreday moved on? I doubt you're fully healed in one week. I just hope you miss me and I hope I will be strong enough to say no.

[Robin2904]

I think I may be having an anxiety attack....this emailing with your mom has sent me into a SPIN and I feel sick to my friggin stomach!! I never know if what I'm saying is right or appropriate...I know I shouldn't be doing this AT ALL. Having a relationship with your mom is counterproductive and pretty stupid! I think what she's looking for is a confidant and an advice giver and I am neither. That's a therapists job, not mine. I need to just STOP communicating!! STOP NOW!

[Robin2904]

FML...I'm setting myself up for disaster here i know it! Your mom left me a message tonight. I didn't see she called as its late and had my phone on silent. I listened to the message and just I miss that woman more then I thought I would! She told me she wants to talk and she would LOVE to see me....idk when that would ever happen, as you live several hours away and I'm not gonna take a trip there to see your mom. IDK if she's trying to inch me closer to the family again or what. I just don't know anymore....she said something to the effect of 'I love you. Your family' in her message and she sounded like she was gonna cry. In a way this makes me feel good- REALLY good. I can see your mom loves me and I know that she will compare me to every other girl you date forever....she will always wish it were me. It makes part of me feel good I guess...because that was something that hurt me. When I saw your rebound girl on your sisters FB page back in the Spring. I felt replaced, like this girl was taking my spot in the family. I know that will happen someday with someone else....but I know your mom will always have a soft spot for me.

 

This is kind of bad though because I am preventing myself from moving on....her too. Really touched me though, what she said and all. I have to wonder how you would feel though about this....part of me is like you know what screw what you feel! UGH! My gut tells me this is going to start trouble though...but still it was good to hear her voice, SO good!!

[RitaTrue]

Does it feel like she's trying to push you and him back together?

 

It probably wouldnt be good to show up. It'd be REALLY awkward if he were there...

[ex sweatheart]

Its grand final day, this time last year i was in America and you were texting me the score evey 10 minutes, i didnt care about the score and was annoyed because i told you i missed you and you just kept telling me about the game with no response, you were only stirring me cause you knew id be annoyed lol

wish you were texting me the score and still stirring me now

[Melting]

I miss you, but I know us being apart is the right thing.... even if it is killing me

[Jane00]

I hope you always continue to be the pathetic loser you are and that you are never happy with any woman. I hope somebody breaks your heart like you did to me and you are left devastated, alone, and sexually frustrated. I hope you realize what you lost when you cheated on me and left me and that you regret it badly for the rest of your life. From what I could tell I treated you better than your other girlfriends and better than she ever will. And ironically you are the person who's caused me the most suffering. Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why couldn’t you just be honest and tell me the truth instead of cheating on me and then leaving me anyways? You are such a piece of scum. You are very ungrateful, inconsiderate, and incredibly stupid.

 

Sometimes thinking about the unfairness of this situation gets overwhelming and I can’t stop myself from crying. I wish I didn’t love you anymore. You don’t deserve it.

[meoww]

i'm starting to feel like maintaining real love is like maintaining your teeth: nothing like the first, original set. although technically we can grow new teeth now so that point is kind of moot. anyway, the worst thing about this situation is that I can never get back together with you because my feelings for you are too strong. I could never deal with the pain of having lost you once, it'd always be in the back of mind no matter how perfect things were the second time around. I feel so terrible for feeling this way, especially since so much of what went wrong I could have prevented. I love you so much and I really feel lost without the life I thought we were going to have. I really do want both us to be happy and to fall in love again just as deeply. I never thought maybe you chose her for those reasons too, but now that my head has cleared a little, I realize that it's probably true. I wish both our lives would have been easier so that our circumstances would have been more favorable. you gave me the foundation for all my present and future happiness--even if I forget that someday soon. But you having sex with someone else is just not something I can ever get over. It doesn't even matter why you did it or if you didn't love her very much. I know the break up was as much my fault as yours. and I know hard it would have been for either of us to see how incredible our connection was considering everything that happened. I really think sometimes you only get one chance for certain things in life. I realize that now, and there are so many things in my life I regret not doing or trying. I hope in the future to correct some of this even if we're not getting back together. I really hope I'm lucky enough to find another soul mate--I had no idea that I loved you so much--and that you're so special to me because you're just you. I hope that doesn't mean I simply pity you or think you're cute or something--there is just something about you that is more than the sum of your intellect or interests or looks--you're just so lovable to me and I was really hoping that you could overcome your emotional problems. I hope you do anyway, even if I'm not there to share the benefits. all my usual methods of getting over someone aren't working with you. I'm ready to pursue other people now, _____. I still love you with all my heart and hope for a reconciliation even though I wouldn't really actually be willing to pursue it at this point. I hope in the future we'll find a way back to each other under the right circumstances and find a way past all the heartache. But I won't be putting off my own interests or needs in the meantime. I'm sorry I said all kinds of terrible things about you, knowing how hard it was for you too, and that you haven't had it easy despite how it may appear on the outside. I knew deep down that you're actually a good person and that's part of why I was so hurt that I couldn't even handle the thought of you being a good person after all. I wish I could have helped you through your own problems but I just wasn't capable. I needed this time to independent and sort out my own history so that I could move on and be healthy. Instead of feeling sick to my stomach when I think about you, I look back and feel really lucky, actually. Regardless, losing you probably forever was kind of my breaking point. I don't ever want to go through anything like this again. I just wanted to tell you that our breakup was like going through a death. It's hard to believe how bad things got between us when there was never any lack of love. I'm so sorry I was so stubborn and inflexible. I didn't feel like I was good enough for you and if I know you at all I know you felt the same way. In some ways, part of our problem was that we had really similar flaws-as _____ pointed out. Slowly healing has made me realize that it was so much more important to preserve our relationship than whatever justice I was seeking for being wronged by you--I really wasn't looking at things the right way. I'm sorry I just got worse and worse until I felt so disoriented and weird around you. It was just terrible all around.

 

You're not perfect obviously, and I don't think this was going to work out either way since we both have so much growing up to do. I just didn't understand why you weren't willing to try to do that with me. I don't think you understand how amazing that could have been, but that's not for me to decide for you. You made the choice not to be with me, and I'm sorry it took so long for me to accept that. I'm not going to keep trying to punish you for doing what you wanted and needed to do. I hope by now you understand why I wasn't willing to be your second best girlfriend or wife or whatever unless everything else you had in mind didn't work out. That was never reasonable, I'm sure you get that now. I've finally been a little more honest with you, which is nice. goodbye _____.

[Robin2904]

Does it feel like she's trying to push you and him back together?

 

It probably wouldnt be good to show up. It'd be REALLY awkward if he were there...

 

It actually doesn't feel like that to be honest, although I've only emailed with her a bit and now this message, I haven't actually had the chance to have an actual conversation with her. I really think it's mostly her missing me and wanting to stay in touch with me. She mentioned her son once in one of her emails (Just the fact that he needed surgery- which I didn't know. Nothing about he and I surprisingly.) I know deep down inside I am SURE she wishes we would get back together, I'm sure she wants things to go back to the way they were with all of us- truth be told a big part of me wants that too and has wanted that for months. We have been split up for 9 or so months now and in the beginning the separation from not just him but his family was really tough.

 

I honestly DON'T know her motives here. I think it's a mix of both. I know my ex has no clue she reached out to me (She even asked me to not mention it- which if fine because I haven't spoken to him in 4 months) I don't know how he would feel. Months ago when we were on friendly terms (now not so much) I had told him his mom emailed me from time to time and he didn't seem to mind, he told me I 'Do her good when I talk to her'. I wouldn't go visit her though. First of all it's a huge inconvenience for me, and even though I will be up her way at the end of this month....Its really probably not appropriate to meet with her, even if I don't go to the house and just have lunch or something...it still feels all sorts of wrong to me. I don't know, she's making it tough for me because when I hear her message and she sounds so warm and motherly and tells me she misses me and says 'I am still part of the family' things like that leave me all sorts of confused because I do miss her. :sigh:

[Melting]

Alls I have to say is that your an idiot.

[ex sweatheart]

i am angry and i am hurt, i am getting the gossip calls from mutual friends, why make a point of telling me you werent going camping because it wasnt the same without me when you were going anyway, dont play with me

well now im going to your favorite place without you ! ill be dancing my heart out at Riva with the girls, hope your enjoying camping

angry is better than sad for me

[DailyDreamer]

I feel like I was just slapped in the face by something you said. Sometimes I feel you post things in knowing I will read them and other times, I doubt you even give a damn and just do whatever it is you like. I always said I wanted you to be happy, but not in such a selfish way that makes you look like an unbelievably trashy person. I am now learning just how much you never deserved me and I was a fool to ever believe you were good enough for me. You're nothing more than a confused puppy dog, who loves the attention you get from anyone and everyone. Did you ever truly love me...or just everything I said and did for you? You'll learn the kind of love I offered is and was far more than you'll receive from anyone else. It's far too late to ever turn back. You're nothing more than a dark shadow I'd like to leave behind in my past. I hope I'll have the strength to not answer you anymore.

[DailyDreamer]

Well that didn't take long to royally fail myself.

 

I swear...you contact me at the wrong times. STOP!

 

That goes for me and you. Just man, you said some real nice things tonight and disappeared like usual. I hate that so so much. What sucks is you were probably in such a good mood because you're with her. I'm trying my damndest to get past that. I may be one of the most stubborn "we gotta be friends" type people ever. You probably have zero idea that I've been considering cutting off all contact with you. That's the sad part...the fact you probably don't realize how much you're hurting me, even though I've communicated that before.

 

On a side note, I've been talking to someone else. Nothing I want to rush into obviously. That would be a mistake. I'd never tell you this because unlike you...I'd never ever want to hurt you. Kind of sad considering what Hell you've put me through. I will always love you and you'll be a part of me always. I learned from you and value many things I took from the relationship. You can never be replaced, but I hope we can eventually transition into friends without it getting too ugly from either of us.

[dansmi12345]

Please just leave me alone. Stop showing up at parties thrown by MY FRIENDS just because you got a sympathy invite, and when I choose to ignore you when I'm there, don't sent me an angry text about that. Do you really think it's a coincidence that we haven't hung out in 3 weeks? It's not. I clearly don't want to see you.

[Robin2904]

Your moms probably gonna give me a call later today as she said she would on her last message to me. In pretty nervous about this whole thing but hopefully I can keep things light and neutral and just be good with her. If she brings you up too much or wants to continue to have a relationship with me beyond this talk im gonna just be straight with her. I mean on some level she has to know we can't really be close like we were again right?? I admit it has been a boost to my ego hearing from her and all the warm things she has said. I guess maybe because her of all people well for it to come down to missing me it makes me feel good. I remember how much she hated me when we first went out...it's crazy how life turns out huh? Who would have thought you and I would be strangers but your mom and I- the same woman who hated me and made my life HELL for months would be super close. I definitly would have laughed and called them a liar had someone told me this when we first started dating.

 

Anyway...today is officially 4 months NC with you. Crazy. Im okay with it now though. I've resolved the fact that you do t want me in your life. I definitely think I am reaching a stage of acceptance in some areas because I can listen to songs that used to tare me apart an make me bawl and I can just listen. I can feel a little bit of pain but be okay with it. That has to mean something right? Maybe talking to your mom will be good for me. It will give me a sense of closure there- gosh I hate that word. But maybe by showing her love and kindness it will help me let go of any last bitter and anger feelings I may have towards you. It may do me well. And if its too much well I am just gonna say it. As long as I she doesn't like want me to spend Thanksgiving with the family I should be fine to just have a conversation with her lol. Eh I shall see!

 

I wonder if your dating anyone though. This would probably make things super awkward and probably bad between you two if you are. I don't think you are though because I have (stupidly) checked tour fb a few times recently. Not my best decisions. Ever since your mom mentioned you need surgery I have been super worried about you too I admit. I know it's soooo not my place to worry anymore but can't help it. Maybe that's why you were MIA at those events for labor day. I hope your okay- honestly. As much crap that I talk I don't want you in pain. I may not want you happy for the sake of your romantic life, but not in pain. I kinda wish I didnt know about this cuz it makes me all the more want to reach out to you and see how you are. Not a good idea after how we left things.

[somethngwrng]

somethngwrng, are you still with her?

Yes. I feel like she is constantly on the verge of breaking up with me and didn't know where else to post this. She is frustrating me so bad. If she screws up, I end up taking the blame and paying for it. If I screw up, doubly so. The good times are great but the bad times are just horrible.

 

Dude, you've been taking it in the ass for a long time. This break up was the best thing that could've happened for you. You deserve so much more than this girl^

I could see that it might be funny but it has truth in it. I haven't left because I'm 27 and have had very little experience with women/relationships before her and want to make this work so bad. I love her. I see her taking advantage of me and people around me see it too. ALL of my friends are telling me to break up with her. In recent times we have spent more time hanging out with other people together and I've seen her treat other people the same way she treats me. As painful as it was to watch, I had to hold back laughter seeing someone else face her wrath. I was watching the conversation unfold and thinking "they have no idea how badly she's about to insult them". I was just glad it wasn't me.

 

This morning, before I left the house she started yelling at me about something I said 6 weeks ago. I told someone "she would've been a perfect gf if she wasn't just constantly trying to start fights with me". She is sending me angry text messages right now saying "AM I NOT A PERFECT GF TO YOU? WHATEVER [name]. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE"

[1guygirl]

just as i felt like i was moving on, bam you email me. why do you get pissed when i agree with you about getting back together? its like you still want me to grovel that i love you and want you over and over. i cant do that. i laid it on the line, i feel better bout that i really do. you really want to be friends...then you should be relieved im not gunna push for recon anymore.

 

only you know where you want this to go. i know i can go either way. maybe you know i can too and that selfish part of you dont want that. yeah youre not that into me but dont want me to be into someone else??

 

still, i enjoyed our convo, if only if is to leave things amicably. at least this way you will always wonder.....

[LizzieD]

I had a dream last night and it lingers.

 

I went to an XMas party, and I saw Jo from far away holding a baby in her arms. I introduced myself to her. She said "I think I knew you from somewhere". I said "I'm your brother's ex". I was playing with the baby (making funny sound and faces) and then you came up to me and said hello. I was stunned but I looked at you and smile.

 

He was watching from far and I introduced him to you. The guy that I was supposedly dating is your distant cousin. LOL. Awkward.

 

I told him that you & I are friends back in the old company. You just smiled at this. We all went out for more nights with your friends and family. I met your parents. At the whole time, you were looking at me. Stolen glances. I just smiled back.

 

You once told me that I am not the kind of person that you'd bring to meet your friends and family. And there I was making jokes and being extremely good company in front of his family and yours.

 

I offered to buy a round of beer and stood up, you offered to carry it. I broke the silence by saying "'I've always thought I'd be horrible with parents". You said "No, you are doing great!". I said "Thank you, I was so nervous and still am".

 

During that xmas vacation, you texted me and said "he's thinking of proposing to you". I invited you out and asked about your cousin's skeletons in the closet. All in all, you said, he's a good guy. You mentioned that he said that I am the best girlfriend he had ever had. I laughed and said "Thank you for teaching me on how to love a person".

 

You: How so?

Me: With you, I first asked if we're in a relationship, said the L word first, and the first to ask if we have a future together. This time around, every time I feel like doing all the things I did wrong before.. I pulled back and reminded myself 'If I love him, I need to let him decide for himself'.

You: He did mentioned that with you, he has this sense of freedom and he hates that freedom.

 

I told you that I'd say yes when the time comes, and I avoided looking at you.

 

You were made the best man. I asked you out for dress fitting and I saw that look on your face. I said "Okay, so this is the 'it' dress, then You two share some similar genes, so, I am guessing he'd probably not going to look at me and bailed".

 

You distanced yourself afterwards. The night before the bachelor night I texted you "Tell him that he has full pardon pre-approved for this one night only". You replied "You're being too generous". Me: "As *the* best man, it is your duty to make sure he uses protection!". You replied "I wish I'm the groom!". I sent out a smiley as the reply.

 

The night after the wedding, I was travelling with him for the honeymoon. I received a text message from you "I wondered if I had said yes, we'd be having our wedding today. It'd be our first wedding dance"

 

And I said "I know. I love him so much that I forego those dreams."

[Melting]

Just wanted to say "Good Morning" nothing else.

[dave cat]

I still love you, but you were the very best and very worst relationship I ever had. I'll never understand

[Cagedfeelings]

I hate this feeling in my chest every time I think about you or whenever you contact me. Please just stop and go away.

It's killing me slowly inside and I just want so desperately to live and move on.