Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[milkyway17]

Hii... It's been almost a week. But only two days since we last talked, I guess. Since the little convo we had in anthropology on Tuesday. I can't believe it's only been so little time... and I miss you like crazy. Don't you miss me too? Are you going to text me on Christmas? I wish we could talk...

[Margot]

Today we had a little earthquake and you were the first thing that came to my mind. I'm so silly to even think of you. I know that I didn't crossed your mind and you thought of her. Why you didn't texted me to see if I'm alright? It's weird that when some events like this happen, and what people say about death, that it's moments like this that you think of the people you care the most. And after my family, the first person that I thought was of you...I hope everyone is fine...but you don't even deserve me thinking of you when you are out there having the time of your life while I'm here suffering, crying, thinking about you...

[Live-N-Learn]

I am so glad I have finally opened my eyes and see everything clearly. I guess I had to go through it to get to this point. Just can't believe how selfish you really are...I was blinded by my love for you. Well I guess finding out since we broke up in January that you have slept with 6 other guys and me helped. Not to mention you catching an std.

 

It's time for you to leave me alone and stop calling, texting and trying to keep me in your life as a close friend. You really don't care how it affects me, you only care about getting your ego stroke. Sorry, can't help you with that anymore. Have a nice life.

[Sophita]

Hi. I'm still quite angry at the way we both handled the problems in our relationship. Over the past 2 years, I never truly felt that I could try to work out any problems with you for fear of you just running away from the relationship. I want to let you know that I am done walking on eggshells with you. All the love and positive energy that I've spent on you over these 12 years...I'm withdrawing that and redepositing it into myself. Because I'm in alot of pain and suffering , most of which I don't deserve and it's time to love me now. Since this is all still fresh, I'm still healing. Because of this I'm not seeing 20/20 yet. I don't see yet if it's you or I who has changed. But what I do know is that you are not the man I fell in love with 12 years ago. I don't recognize you anymore. Your attitude and actions disgust me. I wish I hadn't invested so much into "us". I wish I didn't care, and I wish thoughts of you would get the heck out of my head already! I thought you were "the one" and I thought I was "the one" for you. Thank you for proving me wrong. After all you've done to me, it's going to take at least a year to fully recover from all of this. I can't trust men, I have no interest in pursuing new relationships although I've tried.

 

I know we both share blame. But we never worked our problems out. I felt like I couldn't approach you and you didn't seem to care or want to deal with it. But I also see that there's nothing I could have done or not have done to change anything. I should have put my foot down earlier. When you told me all the many relationships you bailed out on in the 3 years we were seperated. All for the same "they don't care about me" reason. I should have been more assertive when you began acting like smoking pot, video games and partying were more important than us taking our relationship to the next level. When the time came for us to naturally move forward, you bailed. I feel like you played me like you do your many video games until you got to the last level. And when you felt like you beat the game, you put me away.

 

You started making me feel bad about myself. Telling me that you need to cut your losses with me. Telling me that I haven't changed when we never discussed any changes I should have been making. Making underhanded comments to me. Telling me that I am consistently inconsistent. You made me feel like I never did enough for you, was never there enough for you. And when I stood up and finally started making life choices to bring positive changes to MY life, you cast me away.

 

I'm tired of your indecisiveness. I'm weary of your complaining and cynicsm towards me. I'm tired of you getting upset and refusing to tell me what's wrong so a solution can be found. I'm sick of trying to love someone who doesn't love or care about me despite many years of you telling otherwise. I was in a near fatal car accident last winter....you couldn't even put your pride aside for 2 minutes to come visit me when I wasn't even expected to live though the night! And yet, I was there for you when you had your car accident 2 years ago. I drove you to the doctor. Brought you home, made you comfortable. When you had dental work done, I did the same thing. Even went to your job and picked your check up for you as you requested. Picked up your prescription. I did your laundry, cleaned your room, cooked for you, complimented you. Rarely if ever complained or nagged you. I loved you, you S.O.B. And yet, you pushed me away. Because you're a committmentphobe. I guess I am too a little. But I am confident that I did put my best foot forward.

 

I don't know if you're in a new relationship now. It's been a month and a half since we spoke. Really, I don't care. I hope it's at least someone who is good for you. And I hope you'll be good to her. Because if in the future you end up getting your heart broken like you broke mine; my porch light will not be on for you. Consequences and karma suck. I know I"m making great changes in my life. I know I'm a good woman with a big heart. But a person can only take so much before they break. Good bye. Have a nice life. Please stay out of mine from now on.

[kampuniform]

Ruminating endlessly on scraps of dialogue incised upon my memory like a diamond-tipped stylus. Ruminating on my exalted status in your life: the glory of a sanitary cake in a urinal; always smelling sweet despite the stream of piss; I never rose to the occasion despite your shrill prompting.

 

“There’s that blinking again!”

“Stop staring at me!”

“There’s nothing for me here now.”

“You’re such a girl!”

“You need to get a grip on yourself.”

“I said ‘maybe’ you’d meet the kids”

 

Round and round it goes. So many of them that I’ve lost track. You’d think that the angular momentum of these sound clips would be large enough to cause me to loose my grip. I hang on for dear life, letting the furrows run longer and deeper with each passing.

 

I no longer recognize myself; I have wrinkles commemorating your passage through my life. Memorializing your presence every time I gaze into a mirror; a pallid, doom-ridden complexion, testament to one man’s spirited dedication to folly and other lost causes.

 

Madness, utter madness. Not just any man was capable of the task, and you were a shrewd judge of character; you’ve probably done this sort of thing before. You succeeded, ferreting out a man whose sole function in life is built upon the concept of sacrifice.

 

It was reminiscent of that storm I sailed through last summer. Hundreds of nautical miles from land, in the middle of the night, and suddenly finding myself thrust once again into my role. The luminescent neon green waves breaking to port and starboard. Whenever I looked over my shoulder, I was terrified by these towers of water bearing down upon me.

 

However, despite the fear and uncertainty, I had a job to do: to remain at the wheel. To be strong.

 

Now I wait for this storm to pass. For you to pass out of my life. It’s the same anxiety, the exact same fear that I experienced far out on the ocean in the middle of the night.

 

It was little wonder that I was the ‘Man of Your Dreams’ Someone to whom you were not really accountable, someone to whom you didn’t need to be responsible towards, someone that didn’t require your dedication or loyalty. Someone who you knew would be tirelessly devoted.

 

Now you have your new life and your money. Things have never been better for you. You can entertain any whim at your ex husband’s expense. You get to drink up all the excitement of the ‘swinging single’s lifestyle’ without my encumbrance. All your girlish wishes finally fulfilled, modeling your life on that atrocious program “Coupling”

 

I really shouldn’t worry: this life lesson will be harder for you to bear at 46 than it is for most young women passing through this atrocious stage when they are 19. They get sharked up, mewed up, and spat out.

 

Out on a date with a new guy and going to a restaurant a stone’s throw from my home really did cast my impression of you in a new light; Thank God you’re now someone else’s problem.

 

And what am I left with? Wrinkles, a headache, and a pack-a-day cigarette habit. I’m also left with the one thing that I begged you not to do: a confirmation of my worst fears regarding life.

[iBroken]

Merry Xmas you.

[kampuniform]

I should have followed my friend’s advice when you briefly reappeared in my life in October. It was a sentiment at the forefront of my mind on that evening I invited you out for dinner at Crescent Beach. Within minutes of taking my call, you signed in to Plenty of Fish. I should have called you up afterwards and told you to f$%k off.

 

It was on our atrocious outing along the Boundary Bay Trail that I finally got the wind up. Day three into our reconciliation, and we were already fragmenting. You because you are such a weak and ineffectual duffer, and me because I could finally see the con. Perhaps it was the time apart that allowed me to finally see the ruse, or maybe you were just off your stride that day, but I decided to pack it in then and there. Long before we had reached the Boundary Bay Airport, I was shifting my strategy. Just as with the dinner invitation, you were signing in to PoF moments after I invited you out for that picnic. A real classy gal.

 

Oh, what a wretched day that was with your infernal and terminally unmanageable Irish Setter setting the abysmal tone for the day. Screeching at me when that useless dog of yours slipped its lead, when the responsibility ultimately was yours to train your dog properly.

 

Oh, and what a Heavenly picnic! “Nicolas doesn’t want to go to England! Nicolas doesn’t want to go to England!” Next you’re telling me that if your kids don’t want to accompany you back to England, that you’ll dump them on Phil. Where did you get your maternal instincts from? Caligula?!

 

I’m crushed by my own worries, and also have the new responsibility of tending to yours as well. Helping and guiding you to a better life. I wasn’t even factored into your plans. My life didn’t matter to you. It never did. What an a-hole!

 

Oh, and who could forget! “Where’s our table!?” You wouldn’t by any chance be speaking of the George the Third table that I slaved over because it was to be a gift for you. It was my magnum opus because I was giving it to you, so it had to be perfect. What did you do when I presented it to you in the spring? You told me that you didn’t want it. You told me to sell it. Is that the same table you were speaking of? Nice…

 

“You’re making me depressed!” “Did I do that to you!”

No s$%t, sunshine.

 

You were shocked that I didn’t bother calling you afterwards? That you had to call me? What was there to pursue? Besides, I didn’t want to break your PoF vigil with a telephone call. Who has time to spare for a call when there are so many steamy hot guys waiting on PoF!? You go get ‘em girl!

 

And when you did eventually give me a ring, what a call that was! A revelation! As it turns out, my personal sacrifices to our cause meant nothing to you. Eight months right down the plug hole. Thanks again, di$kwad!

 

It honestly didn’t even occur to me, the day before our picnic, to include my name with that bouquet of flowers that I had dispatched to your door. God, I was naïve to think that I was the only one in your life. They were delivered in the early afternoon, and you didn’t acknowledge them until the following day. You didn’t know who sent them.

 

By day four I was already long out the door. I was worn down to nothing by your incessant braying. I couldn’t believe that there was once a time that I was actually dedicated and loyal to you. Making sacrifices for a person who honestly couldn’t have given a sh$t about me.

 

Who could forget that night that I finally called you on your PoF forays. In a span of two seconds you shed about twenty pounds, all of it brown. Whoops! Finding it impossible to backpedal your way out of that one, you directed your ire at me instead. All class, all the time.

 

Who could forget that last day together? W-O-W! I didn’t have to do a thing. You made the job easy for me. You made the decision for me.

 

After the fact, and knowing you as I do, I wonder how much of your atrocious behaviour was cited as a major contributing cause of our break up? I bet you placed the whole burden on me, didn’t you? I bet if your friends and family had a chat with me to get my side, they’d be looking at you in a different light.

 

My friends tell me not to despair. That I will heal, move on, and find someone new. That I will eventually find someone worthy of my sacrifices. Compared to you, a cardboard cutout of a woman would be a step up.

 

 

Hoping your having fun on PoF!

Here’s to your new life in England!

 

I’ll drink a toast to that!

[Starrgrl]

Just got back home. Exhausted. Guess I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.

There's alot of things I want to say. But I'm not gonna say it. Cos these feelings are trapped in my heart. And I'd prefer to keep them there.

I just.. I kinda hate that I still love you. Call me pathetic. Call me naive. Whatever. No matter what has happened these feelings aren't going away.

 

 

Doesn't matter. This feeling will fade eventually right?

=(

 

 

 

It's Christmas day. And I'm thinking of you.

 

Merry Christmas T.

[Yostina]

I know you wouldn't wish me a Merry Christmas like you used to, but I don't care. I wish you a Merry Christmas H.

[Mortrom]

Well those last two posts before me just summed it up. Basically "you don't care about me anymore and I hate that I love you still. You made me feel stupid and you don't care that I am heartbroken." If only you were worth enough energy to resort to violence but you really aren't. Toast is more significant than you nowadays, and please take this xmas present I bought for you away from me it's tainting my car with my anger and resentment towards you.

[mishcka]

dunno where to start dearest you...

you broke my heart but im still standing...

you broke it so hard that i cannot feel anymore

you said you deserve better, and i wish you have it, but would she love you more than i did...

I know you would... love her more, which sucks, big time!

 

you're gone, and here i am dreaming about you everynight, and refusing to wake up, cause i know when i do, you're gone again.

I am so sorry that you didnt give us a chance, I am so sorry you're this stubborn, and I am so sorry that we are this different.

and I am so sorry that it seems we are really, after all, from two different countries.

I just wish you told me earlier, before I got that job to stay next to you, in our home, to be home to cook our dinners, and put the fire on, so that you come home to you know... that life we had.

so we fought few times, in what world do people just come together and not fight...

you broke up with me cause i was down yay

...

it hurts cause i know you'll find her in no-time, and maybe next xmas you'll be engaged or married. It hurts that you didnt take the time to cry, or think it over, but just got yourself super busy at work, and in no time i became history...

it hurts that you want to be friends

it hurts that we go out for casual dinners...

it hurts that you fixed my window

it hurts that i cried when u left, and still crying to this day...

 

I know we are so differnt, but our 3 yrs together were the best in my life... I hate that you let us end like this, I hate that you are one of those who let really good things go, just cause they know they'll get better things...

I hate that Im so forgotten so quickly, im erased without a trace

I hate that you took all our friends with you ...

I hate that I am stuck now here, far away from home, because i cannot just go back there all alone after all this time

I hate it all, but i dont hate you, and i will never do...

 

sweet dreams

[marsbars]

I'm angry at the way you are treating me. Do you honestly think you are better than me? Intellectually? That I lack passion. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your a** and took an long look at yourself you would think differently. Bars, cigarettes, etc. Is that your passion? That's just sad.

[Snowy]

For everyone here:

 

Hang in there.

[oasisrob22]

Merry Christmas. That's all I have to say to you.

[theartofruin]

I hope you had a crappy Xmas.

 

What did your boyfriend get you? A new bong? A romantic box of chocolate coated mushrooms? Half a gram of black tar heroin?

 

Moron.

[MasterPo]

The day is almost over. I wonder if you are thinking of me, it will be one year tomorrow that you sent the dreaded voicemail. I kept that sucker until February then I gave up.

 

Couldn't figure you out. I know you loved me and I knew you missed me since it was about 3 months into the breakup back then. I'm looking at this thing through different emotions now, back then I was so mucked up but now I see he must be special. He must be to hold you all this time or maybe I am misreading things all over again. I don't know. I wish I did it might help me get over .. it might.

 

I miss you. I don't miss the drama and all the clingy crap but I miss you. Talking to you, advising you and listening to your day and weird friend problems. I know you have emo issues and maybe, just maybe, this guy is what you need. He is the opposite of me and I bet he makes a killer friend to do nails and braid hair with. It can't last, guys like that are not for you and sooner or later he's gone. Nah, he'll stay and become part of your entourage. Those ball-less souls, I felt bad for them and no, I will never join them. It's me or none of me.

 

This is sad, chewing on you in a forum .. it don't matter, I feel better and that's all that matters.

 

Joey called today. She says she's in love with me. I listened and told her I was still broken. I won't go into another relationship until I'm healed. I'm not you and I won't hurt someone just so I'm not alone. Alone sucks but I won't do this to another. Why am I writing?.. merry xmas alreadyl. Hope it was okay AND YOU REALLY MISSED ME!!!

[little_buttercup]

Dear ex,

 

I e-mailed you this morning to say "Merry Christmas." You wrote back this afternoon to say the same, and to thank me for the "well wishes." I have to admit, I was happy to hear from you.

 

So it's 8 months since the breakup now. Can we be friends? I still don't know. You said I have to be the one to figure out whether we can be friends. The offer is there; I just have to take it. I still love and care about you, so much. But if you told me you'd found someone else, I'd be hurt. I still can't un-block you from Facebook because I'm afraid of what I might see. I think I haven't moved on from you, in key ways. So I suppose it's a good thing things with _____ didn't go anywhere. Maybe it didn't work with him because I'm not over you yet.

 

I want you in my life, but I don't want to be hurt. I want us both to be happy.

[Live-N-Learn]

Your killing me and I am allowing it to happen. I let you call me all the time and I answer, you text me everyday, I text back. Everything is on your terms. I am an idiot that just cant seem to let you go. I have swam in this muddy water for 11 months and don't see any way out unless I tell you goodbye and never look back. You date other people but tell me none of them are serious and that you love me and I am your best friend. How am I your best friend? Do you ever really consider how your are tearing me up inside? Do you not see how weak I am to your contact?

 

I have tried it all but feel like you are having your cake and eating it to. You have me when you want me around and choose to be around when it is convenient for you ( for the most part ). If I want to heal I need to take everyones advice on this board and go NC again on you. I know you said if I do to go for good. Well maybe that is what I need to do. How can you be so selfish not to give me time to heal? Are you blind to the pain you are causing me?

 

Somebody let me borrow your pants and take off this dress I am wearing. I don't even feel like a man anymore. I have put too much of my self worth into how you feel about me. Bad bad mistake. I lost myself in you. haha and you are the worst woman on the planet I could have chosen to do that with. Cant believe how many guys you have slept with this year. Do you not have any respect for yourself? You really don't deserve me.

 

Why do you have to be so beautiful and so much fun. Why such charisma? I have never met anyone like you before. Why so good in bed! Your allure is my drug. it keeps pulling me back in. I hate you... I hate that I still love you and am addicted to you. There is no way for me to let you keep contacting me and hanging out if I want to heal. I have really no idea what I am writing right now. I just need to type. I dont even care if it makes sense. I am so sick of you telling me how much you miss me and love me. I;m tired of thinking of you and wishing we were back together. I really hate I ever met you.

[iBroken]

What did I used to say to you?

 

Eat a ****.

 

Do it.......nyom nyom nyom.

 

Thanks for hammering home that I meant nothing to you......*****.

[Einah1281]

I can't believe I let your response mess up my Christmas. I know I should be grateful you responded, but I was expecting a little bit more.

 

So much for my expectations.

[Rom123]

So you texted to say "Merry Christmas and I hope you enjoy your holidays".......OK then. I am never texting u back, u dnt deserve my well wishes and frankly I dont care about how ur pathetic day went or what u have been up to. It doesnt matter to me at all. Stop calling my phone!!!. I dont want to talk to u, we ave nothing to say, its best if we dont speak at all. I dont have the slightest urge to call or txt u even though I still frequently think of u. I think u get the pic too cuz u didnt call since yesterday. Move on with ur new rich man and I hope he make ur confused world less confusing. I was ur exclusive bf and all of a sudden ur r confused abt us becuz someone new came on the scene. U r only 20 but the choices u make today will live with u for life. Wish u all the best and hope life bring u all the things ur heart desire. I was just crazy to let u treat me the way u did. Our relationship was only 2 months but it meant something to me.

 

Oh...I am not sure if I hate u. Doesnt matter u will burn for all that u put me through.

[Gurlur2Much]

Am I in denial?? AM I?!? You tell me that youre not in love anymore, but you hesitate and your face doesn't say it. You try so hard to hold up appearances with your family. I believe you don't want to admit to yourself or to them that you really have made a mistake. But how can you find it to be worth it to lose someone who could very well be "the one" for you. We had everything planned out. We were talking babies dammit! I don't even know if I want children anymore if they aren't yours. Look what you've done to me. Why couldnt you have just been a man and told me when something was bothering you. Instead you held it in and let it linger into a monster. Even though youre the one to end it fully, I know there must be some remorse there...you have to be feeling pain like I'm feeling....aren't you?

[sadandalone]

I hate that I still love you after everything you have put me through.....you promised me that you would come back to me after you got everything in order in your life....that you wouldn't go more than a week without contacting me and now it is going on three weeks that I have heard nothing from you. I believed in you and everything you told me and I completely trusted you....I gave you all of me and what did it get me...nothing, got me here without you and no way to contact you or even know where you are....I think about you every day and wonder if you have even one thought about me at all...... You promised that you would never disappear from my life and now I am here without you not knowing how to even find you.....that is what hurts the most....no goodbye, no I dont ever want to see or hear from you, no I am going to go on with my life without you....just the fake promise of "I will never leave you that way, you should know better than that, that you will always hear from me one way or the other"......all freaking lies......but here I am still completely and totally in love with you and watching my phone hoping that one day you will call....I have got to be the biggest idiot on the planet......

[Starrgrl]

I can feel the gears shifting.

 

I am moving on

 

 

2011 HERE I COMEEEE

Oh wonder what the new year has in store for me

 

Hope you're doing good.

[LLammas]

You know, I wasn't keen on this relationship in the beginning. You talked me through some horrible times in my life. You were always there for me when I needed you, and you pursued me relentlessly. When I came around, and we got together, I thought this would be the best thing for me. I grew to love you, much like you said you loved me. When you told me I was the best thing that ever happened to you, I actually believed you.

 

Now do you see why I'm confused about your trying to get back together with your ex? It came out of nowhere. Seriously, * * * , J?