Ask Women Thread

[givinggirl]

When would it be a goodtime to ask about someones expereince level? or the right time?.

 

Also how to women know certain things without asking at all?.

 

My best female friend said she knew right away I was inexperienced and like never had a g/f and was self cououious about something, she wasn't sure if it was weight. So now she knows its because I'm still a virgin and have not kissed.

 

Some women just have good instincts and a kind of sixth sense about things. I am usually pretty good at reading people and knowing what is going on.

[tasha1133]

I would have to say that What you say and how you say it matters. But what probably always works best is honesty. You don't have to talk about pickles just because your in a pickle factory and you wouldn't want to come off as rude or creepy by coming on too strong either. I guess if you just introduce yourself casually and talk about something your interested in or even just saying you want to talk to her because you find her interesting is honest, and most women would likely appreciate that. Just keep it cool and casually honest, you cant go far wrong.

[Jake]

On the bases of how well I know this girl lets say we're acquaintances as students in the same class or just colleagues at work.

 

What's a none intrusive way to gauge this girls interest in me without actually asking her on a date but at the same time showing that I'm interested?

 

 

I'm shy so subtle is preferable...don't want to come off too blunt I guess.

[waveseer]

On the bases of how well I know this girl lets say we're acquaintances as students in the same class or just colleagues at work.

 

What's a none intrusive way to gauge this girls interest in me without actually asking her on a date but at the same time showing that I'm interested?

 

 

I'm shy so subtle is preferable...don't want to come off too blunt I guess.

 

Say, "I'm going out for a coffee, would you care to join me?" Which makes it really easy if she's not interested to say no. If she really is too busy then next time she'll ask you.

[Jake]

Say, "I'm going out for a coffee, would you care to join me?" Which makes it really easy if she's not interested to say no. If she really is too busy then next time she'll ask you.

 

 

But isn't that "kind" asking her out? It just seems more camouflaged and more casual is all...

 

I'm 20 years old now don't get me wrong...I just feel funny asking a girl out to a coffee it's like I'm trying to be all professional and "grown up" and we're going to discuss business or something lol!

 

Sorry I don't mean to act like I'm not taking your advice seriously I'm just not very good at this. Actually, I'm really bad at it.

[waveseer]

But isn't that "kind" asking her out? It just seems more camouflaged and more casual is all...

 

I'm 20 years old now don't get me wrong...I just feel funny asking a girl out to a coffee it's like I'm trying to be all professional and "grown up" and we're going to discuss business or something lol!

 

Sorry I don't mean to act like I'm not taking your advice seriously I'm just not very good at this. Actually, I'm really bad at it.

 

Depending on how far you go to get coffee, how long you stay there, and how long you hang out when you get back it could take anywhere from 5 minutes to forever so it's nice and versatile. Getting coffee doesn't have to mean anything, just a chance to talk away from all the other ears in the office or wherever.

[Jake]

Depending on how far you go to get coffee, how long you stay there, and how long you hang out when you get back it could take anywhere from 5 minutes to forever so it's nice and versatile. Getting coffee doesn't have to mean anything, just a chance to talk away from all the other ears in the office or wherever.

 

Yeah when you put it that way it makes alot of sense.

Now to actually apply it in life and not screw up.

 

 

Either way thanks for the help.

[waveseer]

Yeah when you put it that way it makes alot of sense.

Now to actually apply it in life and not screw up.

 

 

Either way thanks for the help.

 

You're welcome.

[surfNski]

I would appreceate your thoughts.

 

So, I met this girl in a hiking club and we talked and got along pretty good on the few hikes we saw each other on but I chickend out when I should have asked her out. The next time a I saw her on a hike she was with another guy who was new to the group. I pulled back and ended up joining a sports team and havent been hiking since.

 

Until about a month later, I get this friend request from her from this hiking group out of nowhere. I also saw she sent that other guy one as well, so, I guess they didnt end up seeing each other.

Since then I havent been able to make it to a hike on the weekend. I asked her to do a quick hike during the week together but she said this month was just to busy at work but maybe next month. I thought that was it, I just asked her to let me know when she was going to go hiking and I would try to make it. But she has made a point of letting me know when she is going hiking, I though she would just blow me off after the first few times I couldnt make but she keeps letting me know.

 

The only thing is its always with a group and her cousin which makes me think its just casual trying to get fun hiking partners.

 

She is kinda shy but sweet to...so I dont know

 

Thanks in advance.

[Celadon]

surfNski, she is open to getting to know you, but isn't sure about you. The sticky thing with one-on-ones is that it sets up expectations and puts the ball in motion for dating. She doesn't want that kind of pressure, since she barely knows you. In a group setting, she can see who you are, see how you interact with other people, what your personality and character are like. Then she'll know better whether to go out with you.

 

I say, don't worry so much about defining "Does she like me or not"? Shades of gray are natural between people, especially when they don't know each other. If you're interested in her, be open to spending time with her in a group.

[Celadon]

Honestly, if a guy can come up and start a conversation in which he is charming (and therefore I laugh or feel comfortable with him), then yeah, it doesn't matter what he says. Meaning, he doesn't have to have something profound to say. You just want to convey friendliness, non-threatening-ness, openness to her, not desperate, a hint of your personality (charm).

 

Keep in mind, some women are not open to strangers (it can be risky) so no matter what you say, they won't really respond to you. That's just how they choose to be. Nothing wrong with your approach, so don't get discouraged.

 

About the idea of talking about whatever's in front of you, well, it will lead to other things, things that will establish common ground between you two and possibly even a chance to ask her out. So from pickles you move on to what you like about that grocery store, how it's different from that other grocery store nearby, how long you've lived in the neighborhood, what coffee shops you like to go to in the area, and whether she would like to join you for coffee after shopping today.

 

But keep in mind that it's not about a formula, it's about being your friendly self and seeing if she's willing to talk with you. And if so, seeing where things go...

[tasha1133]

Simple. She is open to the possibility of something but would like to get to know you first. Simple as that. If you want her. make yourself available and see how things develop.

[dr_styles]

My lack of female conversation, attraction, asking out has left me pretty clueless here. For asking (or considering asking) girls out, what's the best time to do it? Like during a lull, or she'll give you an opening mentioning some particular point, or whatever else. After some time or words do you start thinking a guy is attracted to you (even if it's not mutual) and brace for asked out? Or if you want a guy to ask you out or for your number, do you do anything "different" from that point onwards? More/less talking, prompting, anything?

 

I was having a quick chat to someone staffed at a small cafe today, as I was leaving (it wasn't not busy) and after a few lines back and forth she just kinda shut up. I asked her another question to see if I got a response and it was like a quick one word answer. I realise this example is not good because of all the factors like how she's at work, never said anything beyond normal friendliness, etc.

[Celadon]

For asking (or considering asking) girls out, what's the best time to do it? Like during a lull, or she'll give you an opening mentioning some particular point, or whatever else. After some time or words do you start thinking a guy is attracted to you (even if it's not mutual) and brace for asked out? Or if you want a guy to ask you out or for your number, do you do anything "different" from that point onwards? More/less talking, prompting, anything?

First, you have to establish you have some things in common, beyond just usual conversation. If you do that, then it's a good time to ask a woman out. If you say that you were hiking at such-and-such park the other day, and she says she loves that park, then you say, "I can call you the next time I'm planning to go. Would that be okay with you?"

 

Don't let too long of a lull go by, or else it gets awkward to ask someone out. I mean, an awkward pause that's too long is effectively the end of the conversation. To continue talking after that starts to feel a little desperate, imho.

 

Yes, I may start to wonder if a guy is interested if he keeps talking to me, but his demeanor also plays a role. If he's just some chatty sort, then I won't think he's interested. If he's shy and making considerable effort to keep the conversation going (or if he's not shy but just keeps talking on and on and on), then yeah, I assume he's interested. If I'm not interested at that point, I'll try to end the conversation as politely but firmly as possible. If he doesn't take the hint, then I start to view him negatively.

 

And if I wanted a guy to ask me out, I'd express enthusiasm for some activity that I was interested in doing.

[furious]

are women able to detect when someone smiles with their eyes? I smile with my eyes more than my mouth but I think it goes right over people's heads.

[NightLily]

Well, I can't speak for all women, but as somebody who does a lot of portrait work and figure drawing (or likes to that type of art because of my interest in the human face/body), I notice slight chnages in the face all the time. if a guy was expert at trying to hold back tears and was trying, I would probably notice it.

[tasha1133]

are women able to detect when someone smiles with their eyes? I smile with my eyes more than my mouth but I think it goes right over people's heads.

 

i think some would, some wouldnt. depends on the person youre smiling at i guess,

[yeawutever]

are women able to detect when someone smiles with their eyes? I smile with my eyes more than my mouth but I think it goes right over people's heads.

I guess so, depending on the gesture. I'm kinda absent-minded when it comes to indirect hints when a man feels me attractive. It's more obvious and direct the typical mouth smiling.....

[tasha1133]

I guess so, depending on the gesture. I'm kinda absent-minded when it comes to indirect hints when a man feels me attractive. It's more obvious and direct the typical mouth smiling.....

 

I have to agree with this, it is more obvious through direct typical mouth smiling... maybe Furious, you could try this, it cant be that hard...and maybe it might get your message over better.

[Jadewhisper]

My lack of female conversation, attraction, asking out has left me pretty clueless here. For asking (or considering asking) girls out, what's the best time to do it? Like during a lull, or she'll give you an opening mentioning some particular point, or whatever else. After some time or words do you start thinking a guy is attracted to you (even if it's not mutual) and brace for asked out? Or if you want a guy to ask you out or for your number, do you do anything "different" from that point onwards? More/less talking, prompting, anything?

 

I'm not certain this will answer your question as I feel clueless to what guys are thinking.

 

I know when I try to interact and chat with guys, I talk about similar interests, mention some humorous events that I have happened to me etc. Sometimes, they laugh and then lead the direction of the conversation to a similar event which has happened to them. Then the conversation might be directed to a different subject. I think it largely depends on one's interests. Sometimes, I catch myself explaining to the guy something technical and realize he might not be interested in what I'm saying or he doesn't know what I'm talking about. So if you meet a girl like that, ask her to explain and yet again, the conversation may advance.

 

 

One thing I will tell you, if you have a dating profile, please do not recite it to a girl right in front of you. You will be viewed as creepy and not boyfriend material. So please don't do that.

Yes, some older guy did that to me and it was creepy.

[jess2009]

are women able to detect when someone smiles with their eyes? I smile with my eyes more than my mouth but I think it goes right over people's heads.

 

yes she can...especially if she has previous relationship exprience..because what i have realize is that when women fall in love/relatioship the second time around...they try to analyze situations and this especially involves body features and body language.....

 

In addition, it will also depend on the type of women as well...if you dating a tomboy ..obviously she will have no clue whatsoever............but suppose if a girl likes Arts/Painting/Creative stuff............she will definetly notice....

[DatingIsSoHard]

Why do women love to spend so much money?

[LightbulbSun]

Do friends first ever work?

[yeawutever]

Why do women love to spend so much money?

What women and on what?? Cos like 80% of my former job money is right in the bank... Yet I still got money here (the remaining 20%) and it's still lying around. Only thing I have spend it was on my grandmother's birthday cake and few dvs. Other than that unless it was an important book, if I was so damn hungry or something I really need in that moment, I'm ok with what I have.....

Then I guess I'm one of the exception. My boyfriend would spend his money or jewels as well as clothes. But it's not like it was really needed in that moment. And why jewels for?? Needless to say had to sit on a bank because I can't stand staying on a clothing store for too long. Got sleepy, couldn't help it..

[Celadon]

Do friends first ever work?

I sure hope so, 'cause that's my game plan! Since I'm serious about dating, meaning that I'm looking for something long-term, I need to know who I'm dating, not just carried away with romance. So I for one am looking for a friend first.

 

The thing is, though, that even as a friend, I'll still be a bit interested in him. It's not like *totally* platonic.