Ever feel like you don't have a soul mate?

[notsogood]

Anyone else ever feel like there is no one else out there for them? Maybe i'm just depressed but i'm already 25 (guy) and feel like the only people left are people with tons of baggage or I just passed my time up already and am screwed.

 

Ive done everything with girls so Ive experienced everything so it's not that. This sucks worse typing it than I thought but maybe i'm meant to be single for my whole life =/ Can anyone tell me that it will be normal and fine to be 40+ and be single? I HATE that thought and want to find someone and I am happy with myself but something is missing.

 

Every girl I'm extremely interested in and start dating it ends badly with me getting hurt. Then there are girls who like me but I don't feel the same. It just feels like it will never happen. Sigh.

[philove]

I know how you're feeling. I am the same age as you and in the same position.

 

I have met two girls, yes just two girls in my lifetime who I felt such a strong connection towards. The first one when I was 16 and she apparently liked me too but I was way too shy to do anything about and now she has moved out off the area so I doubt I would ever see her again.

 

The 2nd girl was at university, again I felt that same connection and again I was too shy to tell her and now she lives a million miles away.

 

It's such a rare connection, one of which feels like that person was made for you. It's an instant attraction.

 

Sorry if I have been rambling on and gone off topic but you aren't alone in feeling like this.

 

I believe I will one day meet another girl that I get that feeling towards and when the opportunity arrises I won't stuff it up! You will too, i'm sure. I wish I could say when but I am certain it will happen.

 

Take care

 

Phil

[ResonanceTheory]

It'll happen. Just don't preoccupy yourself with it. The more you think about what is or isn't happening, the more stressful it becomes. Ultimately, your satisfaction in life will come down to what YOU do, not whether or not you can find a good girlfriend. Trust me on that!

 

Also, what do you mean about people with "tons of baggage"? What's wrong with that? You appear to have a bit of baggage yourself. We are human beings with emotions, and we need time to grow understanding and relate to one another. I have a feeling that many of the people you are shirking off as not being your "soulmate" are probably very good, suitable matches, but you are just passing them by.

 

Here's a big clue: Soulmates don't exist. What there IS is a group of people, some of whom you may or may not have met, with whom you do or would get along well. Chances are, you've overlooked some of these people. So just keep an open mind. You're only 25. Look around, date, live a little. And stop worrying about finding your "soulmate" because, for all intents and purposes, they don't exist. No one, not no one, is perfect.

[CrazyKing]

Every girl I'm extremely interested in and start dating it ends badly with me getting hurt. Then there are girls who like me but I don't feel the same. It just feels like it will never happen. Sigh.

 

Every girl I'm extremely interested in and start dating finds her dream guy after a short while (and really that kind of guy they'd like to get married with)... Dunno, but actually I don't think I would have ended up good with those girls so I guess that I just have to find my place and then things will sort themselves, I think quite chaotic, which could be one of the main causes for still being alone...

[notsogood]

Also, what do you mean about people with "tons of baggage"? What's wrong with that? You appear to have a bit of baggage yourself. We are human beings with emotions, and we need time to grow understanding and relate to one another. I have a feeling that many of the people you are shirking off as not being your "soulmate" are probably very good, suitable matches, but you are just passing them by.

 

I agree there isn't just one person out there for everyone. There is a "group" of people. Although you only meet what a few thousand people in your lifetime? Even less if you say just 15-45 age range. Well by baggage I mean I don't really want to date or get involved with anyone with kids or are divorced. Just me though... I'm sure I do bring baggage but not kids or divorce haha. I just always imagined it to be perfect but alas it's not... at least yet.

 

Who knows I'll just keep working on improving myself and if it happens it happens. If not then not which would suck but I can live with that haha. I have to I have no choice in the matter.

 

Sorry just wanted to rant. I found this girl I was dating for 2 months and she is the perfect girl I ever imagined no joke. Everything I wanted was her. Then it ended. Sigh. Just got me in a slump.

[JusticeLaw9]

For me it's not so much about the finding a soul mate thing that worries me. Because as mentioned earlier, you just have to find somebody who your compatible with. For me right now, a relationship just isn't in the cards, nor do I really feel like meeting anybody new or dating. Sadly, I am content with that; I just don't have the stomach to really deal with the market right now, so I want to be left alone & just enjoy my space.

 

But for a while, I was feeling the same way you felt... I was hoping to hookup and find someone compatible for me, too. But after so many unsuccessful attempts, so many different faces I've met and dealt with in my young life -- I think I need a break. I'm just burned out right now. There is no desire for me as my candle of faith has burned on it's last string. I've taken notice of that and just decided to dedicate myself to other areas of my life. But I just worry sometimes that I might get too used to that and never step back out there and try again.

 

Relationships are just such hard work these days, and I am not saying that I wouldn't ever put myself back out there. But right now, I think I need the space, time and attention to myself so that I can grow and be an even better man then I was before. That's no knock to myself, but I think I've realized that at this point I need to step away before I damage what little faith in finding someone I have left.

[rollingalong]

or I just passed my time up already and am screwed.

 

 

If that's the case then I'm totally screwed. I'm 26 and I never date! I should probably get a move on it.

[MD Geist]

I wanna be straight forward on this one dispite my beliefs spritial life and such I honestly have always felt from childhood that I was gonna have everything, Health, Wealth, friends and trust be doing great things except falling in love with someone.

 

I never had that dream of having a wife and kids like everyone else did I was more like I might adopt kids but I will certainly never have a woman I can call my soul mate. It bothers me because naturally I want to be loved as well as express it towards another being.

 

Now I feel like the only way I'm ever going to be in a relationship is if I make somekind of compermise through two choices. I date someone who's an emotional wreck or I have to raise someone elses kids and to me thats just ***ked up I shouldn't have to make that kind f compermise in order to date someone just like me who wants it all out of life and wants to make the best of it and strives to be better.

 

Not have to worry about dating someone who's emotions shift more than my 5speed or become a dad that sameday I commit to someone elses child and be the man in that picture to the mom, the babys father and the child.

 

If that is what it boils down to I guess never dated isn't a bad thing afterall I could die tomorrow never know what it felt like to be in life in the first place or know how to have a successful relationship, marriage at that.

 

I feel like once I do become successful in life I will never meet that person period because she may not want me for me but more for what I can give her.

 

Oh well money buys happyness as far as I know.

[Raize]

Have you ever thought maybe we have all met people before in our lives who could have been potential soulmates, but the circumstances by which our paths crossed weren't right at the time and therefore we didn't realise that? Though it's no big loss, without meaning to sound all mystical and all destiny-ish, those situations are obviously not 'meant to be', whatever meant to be is. After all, it's not like there is only the one person that's right for you out there. It's just a matter of finding them.

 

I used to work in a busy mall and who knows, maybe at least one of the many cute girls I served over those years could have potentially been a "soul mate", and had we met under different, more neutral socially open circumstances e.g at a party perhaps we may have realized that.

[savignon]

OP,

There is a BIG jump to make from being 25 and single to assuming you'll be 40 and single. The more energy you put into "I'm never going to meet anyone", the less opportunity you'll have while your negativity will send out bad vibes and prevent it from happening.

I suppose there must've been a time where I thought I had passed my prime even though I was still in my 20s. It's harder to relate to knowing what I know now and being a couple years into my 30s. It seems silly to consider 25 "old" or "past" any opportunity for happiness. I'm certain I was there, though.

[notsogood]

OP,

There is a BIG jump to make from being 25 and single to assuming you'll be 40 and single. The more energy you put into "I'm never going to meet anyone", the less opportunity you'll have while your negativity will send out bad vibes and prevent it from happening.

I suppose there must've been a time where I thought I had passed my prime even though I was still in my 20s. It's harder to relate to knowing what I know now and being a couple years into my 30s. It seems silly to consider 25 "old" or "past" any opportunity for happiness. I'm certain I was there, though.

 

True and I know what you are saying. Well it just seems like the further along in life you go the more people tend to lower their standards and "settle". I for one would never do this so it just seems like the chances are getting less and less haha. Which is fine I suppose. Gives me more time to work on myself even though i spent my whole college and early working days saying that same thing lol.

 

There were many chances in college for me to date amazing girls and I passed most of them up to work on myself or what not. I guess maybe they couldve been in that compatible group but who knows now.

[LightbulbSun]

When I was 16, I believed in soulmates. I thought that all I had to do was meet her, and suddenly everything would be rosy. We would be perfect for each other.

 

Cue 10 years later, and I've still never been on a first date. I'm starting to believe that there's no one out there for me (or if there is, she's on the other side of the world or something.)

 

I guess that's what porn is for. ](*,)

[dr_styles]

Cue 10 years later, and I've still never been on a first date. I'm starting to believe that there's no one out there for me (or if there is, she's on the other side of the world or something.)

 

I don't believe in soul mates in the sense there is this one special someone, but when the above happens, well it's a little hard to ignore. Anyone wanna join me on a trip to the other side of the world?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

My soulmate is me! I can count on me, I love me, I have fun with me, I go places with me, I do things with me, and I enjoy life with me...I have never disappointed me, I have never treated myself poorly, never played mind games with me, never took me for granted. I respect me, I respect my body, I respect my mind, I respect my values, I respect my space, I respect my feelings. In short, all of this I have never found from anyone else.

[notsogood]

My soulmate is me! I can count on me, I love me, I have fun with me, I go places with me, I do things with me, and I enjoy life with me...I have never disappointed me, I have never treated myself poorly, never played mind games with me, never took me for granted. I respect me, I respect my body, I respect my mind, I respect my values, I respect my space, I respect my feelings. In short, all of this I have never found from anyone else.

 

This made me incredibly depressed lol. Yet still funny.

[Scorpion Fury]

25? I'm 25 too. Don't trip chocolate chip. We are spring chickens.

 

Don't know if I will ever find a soulmate. I'm a lot to handle.

[Clarity]

I've stopped believing in the concept of a "soul mate", that helps a lot. The goal is just to find someone out there who I enjoy being with and, if it seems worth it, try to make it work for the long-term.

 

I don't think there are soul mates, just good, compatible people who make relationships/marriages work.

[Chickenjuice]

Anyone else ever feel like there is no one else out there for them? Maybe i'm just depressed but i'm already 25 (guy) and feel like the only people left are people with tons of baggage or I just passed my time up already and am screwed.

It simply isn't accurate to imply that the single people all "have baggage". Maybe they are single because their ex was the one who "had baggage", ever consider that? There are many single people who are great catches, and for some reason or another are currently single (good news). You just haven't found any lately.

 

Also, do not think that there is a cut-off date for finding a good catch. Desirable mates do not all get snapped up like hotcakes, never to be available again. People split up or divorce all the time, and so finding love is more like a game of musical chairs. The notion that someone needs to hurry up and get hitched before all the good ones are taken went out with the horse and buggy.

 

Are you depressed? I don't know, but if you continue with these inaccurate, pessimistic thoughts, then you could cause yourself to become depressed.

[pilotgirl]

Believe this or not.

 

It's true.

 

I lived a lonely, empty life for 32 years. Through high school I never dated, through college I found an abuser, not someone I loved. Beyond college i concentrated on my career...lost myself in achievement and my only companions were co-workers. I had it all. A career, great salary, a house...everything, and I was utterly alone and miserable.

 

I came here looking for reprieve and others like me.

 

I found many many people like me...and ONE whose story moved me to tears beyond tears. My loneliness was trivial compared to his pain, so I PM'ed him. In a miracle of synchronicity, we discovered through hundreds of emails, texts and chats...that we were soulmates. 9 days later he drove all night, 250 miles to meet me at my empty, sad house. A month later he moved in and my empty house had life and a soul. We've been crazy in love for 9 months now...we plan to marry soon. It's a miracle.

 

I didn't deserve it...I never knew love before. I didn't love myself first before finding love. I just had compassion on someone in pain and because they reached out into the darkness for help, I reached out to comfort them and we discovered all the pain we'd been through was so that we could eventually meet. It could never have happened any other way.

 

You DO have a soulmate. I asked him...did you ever dream that someone would love you so much? He said...yes, but he thought he would never find that person. He felt they were out there somewhere, but that he would never find her. His incredible capacity for love and self sacrifice for another moved me so much, I had to write. Had it not been for his actions, I would have never written. We would have never met. Had it not been for enotalone.com, we would have never met.

 

What can I say? Who deserves love? We all do. Who deserves loneliness? No one. How to find your soulmate? Stop looking. Become love. Love others more that you love yourself. Give compassion when you need it most...and never think any place is too bizarre to meet someone.

 

He said that he looked up my user name and read all of my posts before writing back. He saw that everything I wrote was to help others and that I never asked for help myself. I never really though of that...I was on here because I was lonely as hell in a job that spent weeks on the road and my whole life was travel, hotels and living out of suitcases. I felt alone and this site made me realize that, in fact, I was not alone in many many areas of my past and present.

 

What happened with me is unusual, but the lesson to be learned is...open your heart, open your mind. Embrace compassion on your fellow man, and love above all. Love others when that's what you need most. Offer understanding and compassion when you wish someone would empathize with you. By doing this, you open the doors to the highest kind of power. Not just compatibility or attraction...not just companionship...that elusive soulmate stuff that people argue about.

 

I was the most cynical person imaginable on this subject a year ago. I didn't even believe in love let alone the whole idea of soulmates. I felt love was a contrived brass ring that everyone tried for, but no one ever really found. I felt that they found companionship, compatibility or compromise (i.e....settling for whatever works right now)

 

Now I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas morning. I had a great awakening and I realized that I had never truly lived a single day until the day he drove all night to show up at my door in the freezing cold.My life began at the age of 32. It is never too late.

 

My hope for everyone here is that they read my story and that it re-ignites hope in their heart. I didn't deserve what happened. I spat in the face of love and thought the whole idea was cooked up by Hallmark to sell cards. I felt it was all about primitive urge to procreate and the need to settle...find someone, anyone to satisfy family, friends and society's expectations.

 

I had my silly little ideology handed to me on a plate the day he walked in and gave me a 5 minute hug.

 

My wish for everyone here is for everyone to find what found me. I did nothing. I didn't look. I didn't find anything. It found me, and the only explanation i can find is that I unwittingly opened doors of compassion that I didn't even realize were the doors to everything I was missing.

[MD Geist]

What a story pilotgirl.

 

 

[meximarie]

I believe in soulmates. They don't have to be a significant other or spouse. They can be a best friend or even a family member. I think my soul mate is my daughter's father. He is married but that is okay. We both know we have a connection that can never be broken...even when we yell and scream at each other. He has a wife and a family and I am happy for them. He is the only person in this world who has even GOT me.

[stereoeclectic]

Anyone else ever feel like there is no one else out there for them? Maybe i'm just depressed but i'm already 25 (guy) and feel like the only people left are people with tons of baggage or I just passed my time up already and am screwed.

 

25 is nothing. i'm 34. you'll most likely find someone if you try.

 

that being said, i don't know how i feel about the whole "soulmates" question. i find it to be BS. every girl i ever dated has been positive we were "soulmates" until she decided we weren't.

 

there are relationships, and there are people out there for you to have relationships with. if both people try, they can make a relationship work. but the soulmate idea seems to do more harm than good. relationships take work and they aren't going to be this magic movie BS after the first six months.

[pilotgirl]

What a story pilotgirl.

 

 

 

Yeah, it was like "You've Got Mail" meets "When Harry Met Sally" meets "Sleepless in Seattle" all rolled up in one. I hope my story gives others some hope for themselves.