Porn

[Nataliesays]

Guys.. if you have a good girlfriend who is faithful, cooks, cleans and loves you wouldn't you rather make love to her rather than look at porn and masturbate? Wouldn't you feel guilty looking at it if you know it makes your girlfriend sad and insecure.. ? Girls, are you okay with it? What if he does it only when you're not around and tries to hide it?

 

Thanks

[_Asti_]

I'm secure with myself to not be bothered by it when he looks at it once in a blue moon.

He does everything to make me feel loved and appreacited, our sex life is amazing, great and never had issues with it, and I see no problems with him using it to get off when I'm not around. He has never hide it, and we've been open about it together, and view it as an enhancer, lets us explore things more.

 

In my relationship, porn is a non issue and not a prorblem.

[battlezone]

If she does everything perfect but doesn't have sex with me I'm going to do what I gotta , cuz I'm not cheating. If you actually do provide with the sex then he doesn't have a reason to look at porn IMO. Then again there's guys who do both , they have a good sexual relationship with their SO and they also look at porn. Porn is more of a fantasy. If you want him to stop looking at porn I suggest working double shifts in the sex department.

[greywolf]

I'm ok with them looking at porn as long as it doesn't interfere with our relationship. Although, I watched porn more often than all the people I've been with did.

[battlezone]

I'm secure with myself to not be bothered by it when he looks at it once in a blue moon.

He does everything to make me feel loved and appreacited, our sex life is amazing, great and never had issues with it, and I see no problems with him using it to get off when I'm not around. He has never hide it, and we've been open about it together, and view it as an enhancer, lets us explore things more.

 

In my relationship, porn is a non issue and not a prorblem.

 

good post

[SapphireNoir10]

I can admit im not always around. As long as hes doing it when Im not there and like another poster said he has that and we STILL have a great sex life. It doesnt bother me.

[ghost69]

when i'm dating a girl, really don't need to look at porn. i usually date girls that love sex, so it isn't an issue. but, it really shouldn't be either way.

[amtjrtcet]

you know...I use to say "no it doesn't bother me at all" but as the yrs have gone by and I've learned just how great I actually am regardless of the jerks I've dated and the way they've screwed me over....now, YES it does bother me. I'm great enough that no man I'm with should even want to look at porn. He's got me, that should be all he needs.

 

I'm either gonna be your EVERYTHING, or your NOTHING AT ALL. Yep, that's the new me.

[Diablo7000]

I personally think porn is just for a quick fix kinda like a nicotine addiction, you feel the WANT and soo you do it and after it's gone you are good for a while... I don't like porn but I'm no saint either still do at times I'll go ahead and admit it, but if you have a good sex life then he should not even want to or think to look at porn. If you are ok with porn don't have anything against it, maybe you can both watch at same time that'll either do 1 of 2 things

 

1.) make him jealous cause your seeing another mans wanker (even though he maybe the type where this doesn't affect him)

 

2.) it'll create a very good sex drive for you both,

 

I've heard of people doing number 2 rather then number one lol or you could just confront him about it why he'd rather look at it then to mess around with you. maybe he had a bad sex experience once and is afraid it might happen again... theres prob 50 possibilities of why he does this... average male brain thinks of sex every 24 seconds in some way... but you ardy knew that... but maybe find out why he does it before you snap on him =)

[InBruges]

Men are attracted to porn because it offers them the beauty without them having to be the warrior and fight for her. It's an easy fix, and like drugs and alcohol, it eventually destroys. Don't believe the illusions.

 

Some people say it's fine, no troubles, never had any troubles... they'll paint you a silver curtain that reflects whatever they want to be reflected. But whether self-deceived or conscious deceivers, it's an illusion that hides only broken lives.

[tastytoothpaste]

As long as porn doesn't replace me in any way, shape, or form, I don't see a problem with it. It's no different than me having a toy.

[Day_Walker]

Pornography is less about sex and more about a fantasy. Viewing pornography has nothing to do with the characteristics that a girl has, what she does in the relationship or what she does for me or around the house. I would not feel guilty for looking at pornography knowing that my significant other didnt like it. I would feel sorry for her that pornography provokes her insecurity because the truth is that she has nothing to be insecure about.

[greywolf]

Men are attracted to porn because it offers them the beauty without them having to be the warrior and fight for her. It's an easy fix, and like drugs and alcohol, it eventually destroys. Don't believe the illusions.

 

Some people say it's fine, no troubles, never had any troubles... they'll paint you a silver curtain that reflects whatever they want to be reflected. But whether self-deceived or conscious deceivers, it's an illusion that hides only broken lives.

 

I don't agree. It's true that anything in excess isn't a good thing, but what's really wrong with watching porn?

If I was in a relationship and my partner told me I couldn't watch porn anymore, I wouldn't be ok with it at all.

[agent1607307371]

What if he does it only when you're not around and tries to hide it?

 

If he was trying to hide it, then there would be a problem.

 

As long as it's not an addiction (or anything hinky), I'm not bothered. I like a bit every now and then myself.

 

Porn isn't about sex. If I want to watch porn and get off quickly, it's generally because I'm stressed. Not because I want sex.

[goldenkey]

I have the same exact concerns/thoughts as you NatalieSays!!

 

I do everything for my boyfriend. And I love sex. I want it more than he does, it seems. And he still watches porn and masturbates and I can't stand it. We live together and I just don't understand why he would rather masturbate than have sex with me. And I hate the idea of him looking at other women. It does make me insecure and it hurts. I hate being rejected. I feel like sometimes he watches porn INSTEAD of having sex with me. That's the worst. What can I do?!?!

[alpha femme]

Masturbation is healthy, and most guys are visual-- hence, porn. I'm a girl, and I like rubbing one out every once in a while. It doesn't diminish the sex life I have with my partner; it doesn't mean I'm unhappy. It just means that I want to be a little selfish and only worry about my own needs at the particular moment. For the record, she does it, too. Sometimes, she'll ask if I want to watch.

 

Don't confuse masturbation with a lack of desire or a craving for something/someone else. Porn is usually 6 minutes of fantasy that guys use to relieve stress or anxiety so that they can be more attentive when they are with their partners.

[greywolf]

Porn isn't about sex. If I want to watch porn and get off quickly, it's generally because I'm stressed. Not because I want sex.

 

Exactly. Sometimes you just want to get off without going through the effort of having sex with someone.

Also, most of the time I watch porn just because I like it, and not because I want to get off.

[goldenkey]

The idea that porn is about fantasy may be true but it still bothers me because I feel like my SO has to find fantasy somewhere else than with me. Why not fantasize about me? Why not make the fantasies true? I guess I don't understand why the fantasy can't happen without porn.

[greywolf]

The idea that porn is about fantasy may be true but it still bothers me because I feel like my SO has to find fantasy somewhere else than with me. Why not fantasize about me? Why not make the fantasies true? I guess I don't understand why the fantasy can't happen without porn.

 

I like watching gay porn. Obviously I'm never going to be able to live out that fantasy. In fact, I don't really even consider it a fantasy. I just like watching it.

[ramonymone]

The idea that porn is about fantasy may be true but it still bothers me because I feel like my SO has to find fantasy somewhere else than with me. Why not fantasize about me? Why not make the fantasies true? I guess I don't understand why the fantasy can't happen without porn.

 

Because every women for whatever reason will not act out every man's dark n' dirty fantasy.

[thistime]

it never used to bother me. Actually, I myself enjoy porn....however lately my bf doesnt want to have sex with me..but he has been using porn alot more then usual. So NOW yes...it's making me angry. I still want to be with him sexually, even if I enjoy porn once in awhile...but he has chosen porn over being intimate with me. Needless to say, its a problem.

[Dragunov-21]

Once porn is having a negative impact on your sex-life (or the rest of it), then it's a problem.

 

But OP, the fact is that being jealous or porn in the majority of cases merely shows insecurity on your part. Some people aren't ok with porn, and that's fair enough, but come on.

 

This thread is just a thinly veiled attack on porn and those that enjoy it, and I wonder exactly what the point is.

 

There are people who like porn, there are those who think it's bad, there are those who don't care. You wanna polarise them into an argument?

 

Do I feel bad for looking at porn when in a relationship? Not at all.

 

I like variety on occasion, and you know what, sometimes I just wanna knock one out before I go to sleep. No matter how good the girlfriend (by the way, cooking and cleaning are primary concerns for a housekeeper, not a gf), I think that calling my girl over to get me off asap would be stretching the relationship.

 

If my gf had a problem with it, I still wouldn't be beating myself up over it, because ideally, she'd never know. It's not something I hide, but I don't keep a self-abuse log, and I mean, it's not like I'd do it around her.

 

If a girl asked if I watched porn, then I'd say yes (I see no shame in it), but she's not gonna find out otherwise, as it's not really an obvious activity.

[FarthestEdge]

Guys.. if you have a good girlfriend who is faithful, cooks, cleans and loves you wouldn't you rather make love to her rather than look at porn and masturbate? Wouldn't you feel guilty looking at it if you know it makes your girlfriend sad and insecure.. ? Girls, are you okay with it?

 

Being in a loving committed relationship, and having a 'spank bank" aren't mutually exclusive...Sex drives differ, and masturbation is not just a substitute for sex with a partner. Sometimes (and oftentimes for many) it is in addition to their fully satisfying sex life. C'mon, seriously, you NEVER masturbate when you're in a relationship?

 

What if he does it only when you're not around and tries to hide it?

 

Thanks

 

I refer you to your first statement to answer the question as to why he hides it. You misinterpret what role porn plays to him, and it upsets you. Since you only hurt people when you share with them things they do not understand, he chooses not to share this with you. So really, it's his way of respecting you. Because to him, the porn has nothing to do with you.

[LightbulbSun]

Porn should be fine unless it's getting in the way of your sex life.

[Kumatora]

Wouldn't you feel guilty looking at it if you know it makes your girlfriend sad and insecure.. ?

I'm not one of these girls. Sorry. Like one of the posters mentioned, it's FANTASY. As long as his fantasy does not affect our relationship in a demeaning way, I don't have a problem with it.

 

I also watch it with my significant other. It adds to being adventurous in bed.

 

The idea that porn is about fantasy may be true but it still bothers me because I feel like my SO has to find fantasy somewhere else than with me. Why not fantasize about me? Why not make the fantasies true?

Why should your guy have to tell you about all his fantasies? Or vice versa? I'm sorry, but some of those thoughts are completely private and not your business. Most people have thoughts about having sex with another person (mainly celebrities) other than the person they're doing... doesn't make them a bad person, but it does heighten the pleasure. Sometimes it's better not to know and get over it. Arguing/fighting over a person's imagination is pointless... it won't solve anything but add more stress and drama to your relationship.

 

As for making fantasies happen for him ... how would you react if he wants you to have an orgy with one or multiple women? Or what if he had a scat fetish? If he wants to integrate homosexual acts, will you be comfortable with it? Do you really want to act upon those? One comment I will make about orgies is NEVER do it if you both are in a serious committed relationship, or engaging in it will kill that level of commitment and end your relationship. Guaranteed. Doesn't matter how much you trust your partner or the people involved, but it will start problems over commitment issues. That is why fantasies should remain only fantasies. Porn gives people that sense of fulfillment without "killing" the relationship.

 

it never used to bother me. Actually, I myself enjoy porn....however lately my bf doesnt want to have sex with me..but he has been using porn alot more then usual. So NOW yes...it's making me angry. I still want to be with him sexually, even if I enjoy porn once in awhile...but he has chosen porn over being intimate with me.

Yea... this is a problem. This is an addiction, and like any other addiction (drug, drinking, video games, etc) it affects relationships with people. However, porn does not always do this people. Have you tried talking to him about it? Has he seen any professional help to overcome his addiction?