Five Negative Qualities about yourself.

[Organs]

My second post, so here goes.

 

1) I get lazy and procrastinate.

2) I often feel worthless and unlikable.

3) I often criticize myself very harshly.

4) I dwell on the negative and dismiss the positive.

5) I sometimes consider suicide.

[hey jo]

and this is under the category Personal Growth?

 

Yeah I know recognition of a problem is the first step to changing it. So here's my list:

 

1. I procrastinate a lot (but I'm really at my best when I'm stressed so...)

2. I make so many excuses, as per number 1.

3. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm a guy at that

4. I cannot easily say NO to someone, and if I do, I feel way guilty

5. I cannot see some of the positive things that people see in me. They complement me, and I usually end up saying "Really?" even if I have been complemented of the same thing before. I'm twisted like that.

[xxsummerxx]

* I worry too much about thinks even out off my control

* Im a scaredy cat- which really does my head in coz, I have a fear of flying (which i am gonna get over) needles, getting my ears pieced, rollar coasters, learning to drive (although i will start nxt month)

* I am a people pleaser and need to say my oppinion more

* sometimes shy

* I always feel guilty if i say somethink mean to someone even if they said somethink mean first and dont feel guiltyabout it.

[sarey]

Only five?? I can think of dozens.

 

1. My anger.

2. My impulsivity.

3. My sensitivity.

4. My anxieties, worries and fears.

5. The way my mind processes things.

[chickidee23]

1. Rarely allow myself to get close to anyone. I am very private.

2. Also a big procrastinator.

3. Shy around people I don't know.

4. Also don't like cleaning.. you should see the inside of my car

5. Try to hide and ignore my feelings instead of face them. Leads to much confusion.

[Helis4life]

1. I can too quick to judge people

2. I can be very self rightous at times

3. I can get moody

4. If someone annoys me i shut them out instead of talking with them

5. I tend to over analyze small things

[Perfect Dark]

1. Obsessive personality

2. Worry about pointless things

3. I don't have much patience

4. I don't have much empathy towards people who don't change situations in their life that are bad.

5. I am too open with my feelings

[Nymph]

1) I give off an appearance of being cold or emotionless. This is typically unintentional and is an attempt to push people away so that they can't hurt me or use my emotions against me.

 

2) I feel responsible for the bad things that happen to people around me, I carry a lot of guilt because of this.

 

3) I let people walk all over me, I have a very hard time saying no. I feel like I must do everything in my power to help everyone. In the process I don't realize that I am sacrificing so much of myself until far too late. Heaven forbid anything bad happen to anyone that I end up saying no to, because flaw number two will then kick into overdrive.

 

4) I have really bad character judgment. I trust everyone that I shouldn't, and let them burn me over and over again.

 

5) I care far too much about what others think. It gets to the point that I don't live life, say or do the things that I want.

 

Having said all of that, I have been working on each of these issues and I'm proud to say that I have become much more personable in the past year. Now onto tackling those trust and guilt issues...

[Creative]

You have a very good understanding of yourself. But #2 is not a negative quality; you are blessed with it. I have a hard time in real life finding people who are like that.

[Capricorn3]

1. I can be a worrier.

2. I'm a procrastinator.

3. Can be rather shy around people I don't know.

4. Have a hard time saying no to people.

5. Can be pessimistic sometimes.

[shoobeedoo4]

1. Get angry/frustrated/critical/moody too easily

2. Am always the first the say sorry even when it isn't my fault

3. Have a hard time finding good friends

4. Don't take care of my health as well as I should

5. Question or react negatively to myself and my abilities too often

[Nymph]

You have a very good understanding of yourself. But #2 is not a negative quality; you are blessed with it. I have a hard time in real life finding people who are like that.

 

Thank you. I would respectfully have to disagree with your assessment of my second quality. At least, I would partially disagree. I am proud that I care about people, that isn't the issue.

 

However, it seems to me that I am taken advantage of because people around me know that I will do everything I can to help, and I will feel guilty if I can't. I often feel like I am a personal doormat for people to use and then throw out. This has happened too many times for me to count any longer. I hate to sound so negative and bitter. In general I really do like people. I've been burned too many times recently to hold my typical optimistic view.

 

I'm quick to forgive and even quicker to forget, check back with me in two weeks and see if I'm still bitter

[phasingk]

- i can't focus on anything at all, this can be a huge problem when i try to study, i wont be surprised if i either have ADD or OCD

- i am too shy

- i care too much about what people think of me

- i am insecure

- i get jealous easily

[Creative]

Thank you. I would respectfully have to disagree with your assessment of my second quality. At least, I would partially disagree. I am proud that I care about people, that isn't the issue.

 

However, it seems to me that I am taken advantage of because people around me know that I will do everything I can to help, and I will feel guilty if I can't. I often feel like I am a personal doormat for people to use and then throw out. This has happened too many times for me to count any longer. I hate to sound so negative and bitter. In general I really do like people. I've been burned too many times recently to hold my typical optimistic view.

 

I'm quick to forgive and even quicker to forget, check back with me in two weeks and see if I'm still bitter

 

I'm sure everyone that you helped look for you because they find comfort in your care. But I wouldn't count on them to care about you the way you do about them. After all, they're the ones with an overwhelmed life and needed your help, never mind asking you how your day went.

 

Aren't there some people that seen what you did for people and are mentally there with you? They may not even say it to you but all the great things that you've done makes them watch over you and even compliment you to others when you're not present. I would think there are quite a bit of them around you but they're simply not in your presence because they're not here to 'get' anything from you so they leave you to your busy life. Perhaps they know they're living a very different life from you so instead of coming to you to offer a foundation-less friendship, they simply watch over you quietly knowing you're the best person. But I mean you probably wouldn't know because they don't say anything. But if you are the type of person you're describing yourself as, there should be some.

 

If you live a different life from those who comes to you for help, I can only imagine they're there for the nurture but in the process drain energy away from you (when i say 'different' life, i mean non relevant life). And then after they find out you're too busy to continue your 'care', they may become bitter and then your 'caring what others think' quality kicks in and become bitter yourself too.

 

It's hard for me to depict this to you, but a good rule of thumb is to know that people will expect a lot from you if you shown yourself as someone who will spend the time to initially offer help. Some will want a piece of it (even when they actually DON'T need the help). But lets say if you set specific hours where you can be 'used', then it would be in their wrong if they ask for help outside the hours you set. Then of course, you have to show them you're not helping in those 'off' hours. The issue with them is not understanding that although you offer help, but you also wanted appreciations too, and the way to show that probably differs from the way you wanted.

 

Lets say you've helped me, I would be confused as to how I should show appreciations. The fact that you live such a busy life helping others tells me that not giving you an extra stimulation is already helping you. Of course, I'm sure you see it differently.

 

Just know that if you keep it up, distinguished few will rise and will offer to help you back. They're the ones who recognized the work you did because they have similar enough values as you that they can understand you with clarity.

[Nymph]

Creative,

 

I've decided to continue this via PM. My response is quite long and somewhat off topic. I'd like to close this on the thread by saying thank you for opening my eyes to another perspective. I appreciate you taking the time, and in the end changing my view to a happier one. I really am thankful for your kind words and your subtle praise.

 

Nymph

[Gitesh Zemse]

1> i am always worried about things that i want.

2> i fear a lot with known people than unknown one's.(my heartbeats having more strokes)

3> I don't know how to speak with peoples.

4> I am going through a big negative thought out my life now

i.e. when i see to any other female including my known girl/womans,suddenly my eyes fall on their other parts of the body. i dont wanna see them with these method but it happens automatically. And if the woman(in front of me) looks at me, our conversation become bad. I mean, she takes her foot out of the conversation, so i would not able to what i wanted to talk with her.

and last

5> I love God and i am doing what he is telling to me and will do forever even i go -100% or 100%.

 

I hope you people will understand my feelings.

Thanks to who made this thread, nice concept.

[Fudgie]

1. I can be quite harsh to others when asked for my thoughts on someone/something and they tell me to be "honest".

 

2. Overweight. I also don't put a lot of effort into how I look. I don't wear make-up, don't change my hairstyle, don't care much about what I wear as long as it's appropriate. I don't think I look as good as I *could* look.

 

3. Messy, messy, messy. I'm such a slob. I can clean up fine (and I don't like to leave food/gross stuff out) but when it comes to clothes and other items, I don't care.

 

4. I suffer from some anxiety. Luckily I know how to deal with it so most people don't even know. But still, the thing that sets me off is if I'm planning to do something and then something comes up and I can't do it. That really throws me for a loop and I get kinda upset for a little while.

 

5. I'm really, really cheap. I hate spending money. Shopping is not fun for me because seeing my money go away makes me sad, no matter what I buy.

[Celadon]

LOL. I posted on this thread two years ago and ... I've still got some of the same negative qualities! (Though I've chilled out on the road and don't stare at people anymore .... hehehe. So there's hope of change...) It's good to be reminded of what I still need to work on.

[ApocalypseDreams]

Cool thread!

 

1. I'm far too idealistic. Intensely so at times and it frustrates me that some things I hold in high value are not shared or cared about by the majority of the population and because of this I feel alienated. These high values are non negotiable for me and basically I won't bother with people for friendship or a relationship if they don't have similiar values as me.

 

2. I spend far too much time worrying about people who don't give me the time of day.

 

3. The fact that I self sabotage when it comes to opportunities. I talk myself out of things that make will make me happy. I recently talked myself out of a opportunity to work in Europe and I'm kicking myself now but I know I'll do it again.

 

4. My lack of focus and that I'm a bit of a dreamer. My mind wanders and I dream up of things I'd like to do, become and see. I'm always focusing on the future and entertaining scenarios that will never happen instead of concentrating on the here and now and fixing my life.

 

5. The constant uncertainty that I have for myself. The fact that I'm 26 and I'm no closer to discovering who I am, what I want to be or what I want to do than when I was 18. It bums me out that my friends have their lives together and I'm confused as hell.

[ambitiousco]

Procrastination when it comes to my studies.

Over-think everything and can't always let the little things go.

I can be TOO trusting and helpful- to my own detriment (*doormat!*)

Feel the need to always do better- also to my own detriment (

Sometimes am too content being an introvert and thus, think I limit myself a bit.

[mfan]

I’m snobby when it comes to dealing with or thinking about everyday people

I consider sleeping a hobby

I don’t know how to cook

I don’t have nice teeth

I don’t have well-defined goals in life

I can't count

[Penseur]

1) Communication difficulties. I tend to avoid expressing negative feelings, but I seem perfectly capable of expressing my adoration for others. This has caused an enormous amount of relationship problems because it usually blows any negative feelings or problems beyond an irreparable stage. I also have communication problems because I think I am scatterbrained. I'll think about issues or problems in relationships, and then I will forget key points of my thoughts at a later time. When I actually do summon the courage to convey negative feelings, I will forget key components of my overall message. Maybe this is my mind blocking the painful realities, though.

 

2) Needy/Clingy. When entering into a relationship, I tend to suspend or neglect the rest of my world and give my full dedication to the other party. It's a problem to a certain degree, because often times I don't mind the other doing something separately (in moderate doses), but I make myself too available for them. I will put on hold many other obligations at their request, and I make that perfectly clear to them. I cannot help but feel this is unhealthy and even unattractive.

 

3) Low Self-Esteem. This affects my life in all facets. I have been told that I am a handsome man/nice looking young man, but I cannot shake the feeling that I am unattractive or have some kind of deformity that people do not reveal to me. It prevents me from being sociable and from meeting other people. When I find myself being sociable during one of the rare times, it is inevitable that this unattractive image of myself will seep into my thoughts during a conversation, and this needlessly takes away energy and puts distance between myself and others.

 

4) Doubts/low confidence. Perhaps this plays into number three, but I think it is somewhat in its own sphere. I tend to avoid doing certain tough projects or do them haphazardly because I fear failure. It seems like a persistent theme in my life is I seldom try my hardest, and then I am always disappointed in myself because I know I could have done that much better, even if my half-assed performance was satisfactory. And it is a shame, because I am a bright young man, with seemingly endless potential if I could just put myself out there without the constant, paralyzing fear of failure or rejection.

 

5) Emotionally unvailable / pretentious. I can count on my hands the number of people who I open up to in my life. To the vast majority of other people accross whom I come, I appear to be aloof and reserved. This comes accross to others (according to feedback) as being arrogant or pretentious. And that is partially true because I tend to have an elitist view of myself at times (paradoxically, too, because of number four above). However, that only partly tells the tale. I am also deathly afraid of being rejected or hurt by others, and so I tend not to give others the chance to do that to me.

 

After writing these, I see most of my identified flaws tend to bleed into each other. They even feed off one another and exacerbate the flaws. This is rather eye opening because I suspect they all are part of a larger underlying problem that I carry around deep inside myself. And I am pretty sure I know the root of these problems, too.

[meoww]

1.Cowardly

2.Not detail oriented enough (to be who I'd really like to be, I'm actually quite type A)

3.I'm not witty!!! This bothers me more than almost anything

4.Tend toward obsessive thinking

5.I'm Flaky...

 

6.I hate it when I don't know how wrong I am. I'm usually pretty self aware but sometimes I make egregious errors that are really hard to correct. And sometimes I have bad taste and I don't know it.

[imsuperman]

1. Procrastination

2. Temper

3. Overreact too much

4. Emotionally unavailable is a good one

5. Jealous of others

[nresteiner]

1. Try to please everyone around me and feel like I need to fix a situation if someone is unhappy with me

2. Low self esteem

3. Probably less patient than I should be, especially when other people are doing something that I know or think I know how to do

4. I feel worthless if I'm not perfect in certain areas

5. Way overly sensitive

 

Thankfully I'm working through some of these issues with a very talented therapist, and it makes a world of difference.