confusedboy4u Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 ok friend of mine I like he has a girlfriend but he acts like she doesn't exist. WE talk all day everyday. Awhile ago he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him hes knows I'm bi. I said sure but he eventually punked out. And then last week he accused me of looking at his * * * * then asked me if I wanted to see it. I said no on account that my grams was on her way home but I really did wanna see it. Now I'm kinda scared of wat will happen it took us awhile to get back to normal after the first time he asked and I really do love him but should I really be messing with my bi-curious bestfriend??? help?! Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Should you be messing with him? NO!! Why you ask? Because he has a girlfriend that is wrong and unfair to her. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Yep hold back on this one. He has a girlfriend, hes obviously confused and you dont want to be his 'am I gay or bi or straight' test subject. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 If it's just fooling around for curiosity's sake and no emotions or feelings involved, and neither of you will hold it against the other...then what the hell...fool around some. BUT it does really sound like he isnt sure he wants to. So, for now, I would just drop it and let him make the moves. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 If it's just fooling around for curiosity's sake and no emotions or feelings involved, and neither of you will hold it against the other...then what the hell...fool around some. BUT it does really sound like he isnt sure he wants to. So, for now, I would just drop it and let him make the moves. The guy has a girlfriend. It would be cheating if they just "fooled" around even if no feelings are involved. It isn't fair to this guys gf that he is wanting to fool around with others (guy or girl) Link to comment
Catdancer Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 The guy has a girlfriend. It would be cheating if they just "fooled" around even if no feelings are involved. It isn't fair to this guys gf that he is wanting to fool around with others (guy or girl) Hence...let the other guy make the moves in time when he is ready. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Hence...let the other guy make the moves in time when he is ready. It's still wrong and unfair to this guys girlfriend regardless of who makes the moves first.. if I was the OP I wouldn't want anything to do with him since he is trying to mess with me while he has another partner even if it is just for fun (Unless of course it is an agreed on thing by all parties involved) Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 If it's just fooling around for curiosity's sake and no emotions or feelings involved, and neither of you will hold it against the other...then what the hell...fool around some. BUT it does really sound like he isnt sure he wants to. So, for now, I would just drop it and let him make the moves. I agree with your advice Cat, except that the OP said that he loves this guy. That could get really complicated and the OP could end up really hurt since the guy has a gf. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 I know he has a girlfriend but he acts like he doesn't want her. And they are always making up and breaking up. I think I'm just gonna stop talking to him becuase this is to much for me. I love him but hes hurting me. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Yeah I agree. If they break up. then maybe consider pursuing it. But this sounds like at the moment it'd end in heartbreak. Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I know he has a girlfriend but he acts like he doesn't want her. And they are always making up and breaking up. I think I'm just gonna stop talking to him becuase this is to much for me. I love him but hes hurting me. But he is still with her, and most likely it will hurt you in the end. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Yeah probably would. It hurts now though... Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 It would hurt more if you got physical and invested more time and love in him. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Dammit I've wasted alot of time waiting for him. Missed out on some really great guys...love is stupid. Link to comment
alcide Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 You can't control it so i see nothing wrong with that, no one is perfect and such is life, to see lots of thing is not right, and we all can't leave all right, live with no regrets love the life you live, live the life you love life is toooooo short to go hunting if you can afford i would sayyou try to but if not, well don't regret.kool ok. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 I have no idea what to tell me him when he asks wats wrong with me. Link to comment
lukeb Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 If this friendship is causing you a lot of anxiety, it's probably best to distance yourself from him. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 ok update. I laid it all on the table and I told him that I loved him and I couldn't do the us thing anymore. I said I needed to know how he felt about me. And he told me that he loves me as a friend and he doesn't wanna lose me but he is not gay/bi and he was just experimenting.He apologized a bunch of times and said he needs me in his life. But I told him I don't think we should talk anymore and he got pissed and wouldn't talk to me. And I feel bad...am I wrong for not wanting to be friends with him until I'm over him? Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 ok update. I laid it all on the table and I told him that I loved him and I couldn't do the us thing anymore. I said I needed to know how he felt about me. And he told me that he loves me as a friend and he doesn't wanna lose me but he is not gay/bi and he was just experimenting.He apologized a bunch of times and said he needs me in his life. But I told him I don't think we should talk anymore and he got pissed and wouldn't talk to me. And I feel bad...am I wrong for not wanting to be friends with him until I'm over him? No, it's not wrong at all. You need to worry about yourself right now and do what's good for you. Link to comment
lukeb Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 This is a lot of stress for a friendship, most friendships are not that deep and not able to take this amount of stress. You would put up with a lot of anxiety because you have feelings for him, but you have to remember he probably sees you as a buddy, someone to hang with, but not as someone to deal with a lot of difficult emotions with. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 This is a lot of stress for a friendship, most friendships are not that deep and not able to take this amount of stress. You would put up with a lot of anxiety because you have feelings for him, but you have to remember he probably sees you as a buddy, someone to hang with, but not as someone to deal with a lot of difficult emotions with. And thats wat I keep telling myself but hes always I love you this and that. Today he said if he could he would give me the world and that I need to stop treating him like hes just another guy friend which makes my head spin >. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 This guy seems to be playing mind games with you. It may hurt but I think the best thing you can do is to cut off contact with him. He doesn't seem like a decent friend. Link to comment
Albert is cool Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well he did say he loved you as a friend so it makes sense that he says " i love you" all the time. he says u need to stop treating him like another guy friend, well i think he sees u as his best friend and thinks ur just treating him like any random guy. (im sorry i have no idea how to do the quote thing on here) Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well he did say he loved you as a friend so it makes sense that he says " i love you" all the time. he says u need to stop treating him like another guy friend, well i think he sees u as his best friend and thinks ur just treating him like any random guy. (im sorry i have no idea how to do the quote thing on here) I know I mean I love him as a friend too but I need time to see if I wanna continue this relationship and if it would be best for me. Link to comment
confusedboy4u Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 ok ok this is the last update for this guy. Today he said he would have sex with me but not be in a relationship with me because hes not gay/bi... * * * Link to comment
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