dangletsbang Posted October 10, 2013 Author Share Posted October 10, 2013 Learning how to be in a functional relationship after being single for a year and being in two dysfunctional relationships before that is turning out to be a little more difficult for ME than I expected. Everything is so easy between us, it just flows....and i'm not used to it at all. I guess it isn't difficult but just different for me. C was so dependent on me....he had no friends, limited family, he used me to fill the void he had in his life...he suffocated me in a sense and I wanted so bad to be 'needed' that I didn't see what was wrong at the time. My current boyfriend, i'll call him 'K' I guess...he has a full time job, he has friends and a life. He knows I have Hayden and my job. We see one another when time allows, he doesn't pressure me like C used to or try to put me on a guilt trip. We typically go on a date every Saturday night...but last week he drove all the way to my job and took me to lunch on his day off, I met him one day after work for a quick dinner...this week we won't get to see one another till Saturday and even then it will be limited since we both have plans on Sunday morning. I miss him but it's nice because it gives me time to miss him and him miss me. In my past relationships it was just too much, too soon because we were so infatuated with one another. I really really like K. He's just so different from anyone i've ever been with. It feels good to be happy but it also just feels 'off' to be happy like this again. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 K is balanced and that is awesome!! Just be happy I had nothing but dysfunction before I met Alex. No idea why he fell in love with me at all! Two balanced people= an "easy" happy relationship. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 thanks, red. It's just getting used to it being 'easy'... i'm glad he gave me a chance though with all my baggage. Went to dinner last night with Hayman, his grandpa and his aunt...had a great time, I missed his grandpa a lot...he hasn't been around much on weekends because of hunting season starting and other events lately. T started work again last week for the first time since his knee surgery...he 'hurt' his knee again after only a couple days and is out of work again, lol. It's not shocking, it's totally what I would expect from him..but when Hayden and I were leaving the restaurant, we were telling his grandpa and aunt bye/giving hugs/etc...his grandpa shoved cash in my scrub pocket like he did last time I saw him. I immediately told him that I don't need it and to keep it..that he didn't need to pay for his son's ignorant behavior and decisions. He said "well, if he doesn't want to take care of his son then so be it but i'm taking care of my grandson. That's for Hayden, take it and go." I know i've said it a billion times but I couldn't ask for a better male role model for my son. He asks for his dad a lot lately and it breaks my heart that he's having to learn at a young age that his dad is a letdown. I don't want my son to feel letdown and unwanted but I can't control everything. I just keep telling him that even though daddy isn't around all the time that mommy will be there to love him, protect him, teach him, provide for him and keep him safe. I can't take the place of his dad though, I can't make up for that regardless of how much I try. But i'll keep trying. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I know what you mean on the relationship front. My relationship with L compared to my ex is night and day and even after 4 years I catch myself wondering when the other shoe will drop (because it always does when I'm happy). But I do it less and less with time. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I must be hormonal or something because I seriously just teared up at what his grandpa said. I am so glad you have the support of T's family, even if T is an idiot. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 I think it's a blessing you have T's family that care so much for Hayden and do what they can for him. When my ex and I were done and he took off to parts unknown, I never saw a dollar from him or anyone. There were no grandparents here, they were in Mexico. Your son is loved, accept whatever grandpa wants to give because it's what we as grandparents do. I give my daughter money all the time for the kids, she may or may not need it at that time but it's what I do. Nana, knows best. and Haydens' Paw paw knows best. (did I type that right?) lol Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 yeah, pawpaw. I'm so thankful for him. It's not the money at all, it's the fact that he cares about his grandson so much and respects me as his mother...he just wants the best for Hayden. I'm glad he knows the truth about everything and doesn't just take his son's side because he's his son. He takes everything into consideration, he isn't biased. He brings me to tears all the time just because he's so genuine. Wonderfullllll weekend. Hayden and I went to my nephew's baseball game Saturday morning..then my niece went with us to the mall and to get his hair cut. Spent a few hours with my boyfriend and his friends Saturday night...went to a family reunion yesterday. I have got to find a halloween costume after work. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I was looking at Halloween costumes this weekend for my grandsons. I'm taking them Thursday to pick them out. Luckily I just need to get the boys, my daughter already purchased the girls. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 "would anyone be interested in $200 of food stamps for $100?" really..?????? some of the facebook posts I see. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Probably not something I would post publicly but that's just me. lol Link to comment
hers Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 OMG so illegal I want to scream. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Speaking of food stamps and craziness, did you see THIS: link removed Apparently, over the weekend, there was a few hours where the food stamp card allowances were down (computer glitch), and Walmart allowed people to purchase food with their SNAP cards even though they couldn't check balances. People were running riot Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 "would anyone be interested in $200 of food stamps for $100?" really..?????? some of the facebook posts I see. And that's why they really need make it even harder to get. Too many people use and abuse the system. They should be reported for fraud and theft. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 18, 2013 Author Share Posted October 18, 2013 So most of you know i'm a slightly antisocial, awkward, semi-introvert...before I started seeing my boyfriend a couple months ago, I wouldn't go out much..I don't really have any 'close' friends that I see consistently...now that i'm with K, i'm being put into more social situations. He has several very close guy friends and the amount of friends they have together just multiplies from there...there's always something going on. A party, a concert..some type of social outing. Of course, I can't attend everything..I have Hayden, I have a full time job..but while these things are out of my comfort zone, it's actually making me happier. Meeting new girl friends, socializing with people my age...it's nice. I love how K's friends have accepted me and welcomed me into their 'circle' the way that they have. Tonight i'm going to a halloween/birthday party with them...I don't really want to dress up at all and i'm still conflicted in what I should wear. I have this Mario costume thing...it's not really a costume but accessories...a red hat, blue suspenders with the buttons and a fake mustache. I just need to buy a plain red shirt after work...I was thinking about wearing it with denim cutoffs and finding some white tube socks with the red stripes to wear with some converse. It's supposed to be cool tonight though and i'm not sure if the party is inside/outside, so Idk if I should wear jeans. I just don't really want to wear a hat though, hats always mess up my hair...lol. I also have a hunter costume..it's meant to be skanky..it's a really short tight camo dress with a tight orange zip up hunting vest...but I would wear it with shorts to make it more modest, my butt cheeks would literally hang out of the bottom of the dress if I didn't...with my slouchy brown boots. Idk what to wear..I tried to find a bright red shirt at target this morning with zero luck and I don't have much time after work to find something. Costumes are so out of my comfort zone. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I'm glad you're out there and having fun! Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 My mom had a stress test done two weeks ago and went to go over the test results today with her cardiologist. There's a questionable shadow/possible blockage in one of her coronary arteries. This hits way too close to home for me... She goes in Friday for a heart catherization w/ possible PCI [percutaneous coronary intervention/stenting]...if they can solve it with a stent, they will. If it warrants surgery, she'll see my doctor I work for. Her + my dad's medical issues, this is just insane. I'm praying this won't warrant surgery. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 22, 2013 Author Share Posted October 22, 2013 My dad said something to me on Sunday that is still just bothering the hell out of me. He said "why don't you go find another club to go to, mother of the year." Really? Considering I haven't gone to one in a couple weeks...but what hurts more is that I know it's not the real him that said that. His doctor put him on valium and it's that God forsaken medicine that has changed him into a completely different person. He's always been one of my biggest supporters and cheerleaders with being a single mom to Hayden...always praising me about how hard I work for Hayden and what I sacrifice...how he hopes I find a good guy that will be good to me for once. I find a good boyfriend and I start spending a little time with him...and I get that below the belt hit. Everything I do for Hayden...and I get a sarcastic 'mother of the year' comment from my own father. Damn, it hurts. It didn't bother me really when he said it on Sunday but the wound is slowly just opening and getting more raw. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 I wonder if part of him feels somewhat neglected now that you are spending more time with someone else. Will he be on that medication long? Link to comment
hers Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Ouch. That's really mean sorry to hear that. It's good you hve the perspective that it's not really him talking. I know you're tryin to be understanding even though it still hurts. Can you talk to him about it maybe? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 "would anyone be interested in $200 of food stamps for $100?" really..?????? some of the facebook posts I see. Just read an article and thought of your post. lol Apparently food stamp fraud isn't just on facebook. link removed Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 22, 2013 Author Share Posted October 22, 2013 I can't talk to him right now because he's in this whole 'woe is me' BS. The medicine, the surgery...none of it is an excuse to treat my mom and I like crap. Literally, anytime I try to communicate through our problems he pulls the "Oh well you're just turning this around on me because you're so good with words." It's such a toxic environment right now, I just don't know how much longer I can handle it. I'm not sure how long he'll be on the valium. My mom said he used to be on it when I was little and he acted the same exact way. She said the reason she threw a fit when the new doctor prescribed it to him is because of how he used to act while on it. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted October 23, 2013 Author Share Posted October 23, 2013 I had my most favorite meal in the world last night. Popeyes. It's my all time favorite 'comfort food'...when I was miserably nauseated and constantly throwing up during my pregnancy, I craved and ate it...when I had my nose surgery, I wanted it after we left the hospital. Anytime i'm sick or cold or just 'down', I want popeyes. Spicy tenders and fries coated in their mashed potatoes and gravy...alllll of it mixed together, omgggg. It's so delicious. So unhealthy but it's so good. I want to go get it for lunch now, haha. I seriously love food so much, it's pathetic. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I love Popeyes too but I dip my chicken in the red beans and rice. Link to comment
hers Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Yesterday one of our friends posted on FB how good his recent double stack from Wendy's was. Jared and I ended up having that for dinner last night bc it just sounded so good. Food is awesome. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Food is the best thing ever. Ever more than sex. Link to comment
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