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Shelby...as we know it.

dangletsbang

By dangletsbang
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dangletsbang Enthusiast

dangletsbang

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Hahaha, I know...og. One of my 'new year's resolutions' that i'm working on early is trying to stop judging other's life choices. I know a lot of people judged me when I got engaged to Cole...I mean, for good reason..obviously. Thank God I didn't go through with that but idk...even though I highly, HIGHLY doubt those other couples relationships will last...I hope they do for the children's sake, you know? My life and my choices have been less than ideal but I still feel like i'm doing a pretty good job...and I feel like leaving T even though he's Hayden's dad was a good choice. I would hate for people to judge me when they don't know what i've been through and why i've done what i've done, you know? T and I had a baby after we had been together over a year, which honestly isn't very long. I remember how difficult it was and I just could NOT imagine going through a pregnancy with someone I've just gotten with...someone I don't even truly know. But like I said, I hope everything works out for them.

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Edmund Exley Contributor

Edmund Exley

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My friends daughter who turned 16 a month ago posted a pic on Facebook of her and her BF kissing and holding up an ultrasound pic of a baby. All the comments are "You guys are so cute, your going to make great parents"

 

And there I am thinking "Being cute doesn't make you great parents. These poor kids have no idea what's in front of them" Sadly, you all but know how this is going to play out.

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dangletsbang Enthusiast

dangletsbang

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I wish being cute made you a good parent but it doesn't. Haha. I shouldn't laugh. I was 20 when I had Hayden..and the past 3 years of him being in my life have been the hardest years by far. The sleepless nights, my alarm going off after 3 or 4 hours of sleep total and just breaking down in tears..walking around like a zombie in the morning at work sometimes from lack of sleep and depending on my amphetamine ADHD meds to get me through the day.. coming home from work, when all I want to do is sit down and relax in peace but I have a little person who soley depends on me wanting my every ounce of attention..acting any way he can to get my attention, good or bad...crying at night after he was finally asleep because I felt like I was failing him as his mother...crying because I can't figure out why his dad acts the way he does. I still cry sometimes. I have permanent working mom's guilt and i've spoken on here about it numerous times. What i'm getting at is...how are most 15/16 year olds going to be able to cope with that? I'm not saying young parents can't be good parents...hell, there are 30/40/50 year old parents that are terrible parents...but parenting is HARD. Hayden is my biggest blessing but i've broken down many times doubting if my parenting was really the best thing for him. Sigh, anyway.

 

So, there's this super cool website [link removed where you can purchase letters, packages, etc to be delivered to your kid from Santa. There's an actual town in Alaska called 'North Pole'. I ordered a package a couple of weeks ago to be sent to Hayden...it had a shirt, a personalized ornament, a letter, an autographed picture of santa and some other stuff. I told my dad that when he got it in the mail to wait for me to get home to open it...so anyways, my dad calls yesterday and said that he took Hayden outside to play a little bit when all of the sudden the UPS guy popped up out of no where walking down our driveway. He walked up and said "I have a delivery for Hayden _______",Hayden looked at my dad and said "poppy......who is this guy???" haha. He was so excited, i'll definitely do it again next year!

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dangletsbang Enthusiast

dangletsbang

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aw thanks, edmund..I try. My sister says that Hayden and I act more like best friends than mommy and son. It's so funny because he's starting to understand the concept of humor...so he's constantly laughing at himself. I think that being able to make fun of yourself is really a great quality to have. We made a gingerbread house on Friday night...or tried to anyway. He kept licking everything...he would've been happy with a tub of frosting and some random candy. He had fun though...thankful I get to spend tomorrow and Christmas off with him.

 

Awesome saturday night with K. He makes me so happy...yesterday marks 3 months. I'm truly blessed to have someone like him...he treats me so well. I hope his christmas present comes in today... O__o

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dangletsbang Enthusiast

dangletsbang

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So thankful i'm off the next two days, i'm starting to get sick and I just cannot afford to miss work. I had a great weekend...went to dinner with K and his parents on Saturday night, so I finally got to meet his dad. I've known his mom the past 6 years cuz she 'works' with me in a sense...she's part of the surgery office in the hospital that my doctor's are the only cardiac surgeons at...so we've talked on the phone for the past 6 years. I just love her, she's literally so sweet...and I just loved his dad too. He's quirky and super friendly. He texted K later that night and said "I really liked her, son. Shelby is a super sharp girl and a great mom to her little boy, I think you should hang onto her." I felt really at ease and felt like I 'fit in' very well with them. K and I talked about Hayden this weekend, I think next Sunday he's going to meet Hayden and we're going to take him to go do something. So thankful for a healthy relationship, it's a lot easier like this. I know I say that quite a bit but after everything I struggled with in the past, it's so new and unusual to me.

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dangletsbang Enthusiast

dangletsbang

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I had a wonderful new years with K. I've been trying to get sick this week but nothing full blown yet, hopefully it just goes away. Been in a kinda blah mood lately. Not feeling work, not feeling productive in any aspect of my life...I dunno. I have a hard time waking up in the morning. I'm happy but just slightly discontent with certain things right now. Hopefully this feeling goes away soon.

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dangletsbang Enthusiast

dangletsbang

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I think that's what it is, I haven't been exercising. I'm fairly active having Hayden, obviously....we do lots of walking, chasing him, etc..I walk a lot at work throughout the day but with daylight savings a couple of months ago, I stopped running after work. I was running 3-5 times a week. I'm so not a morning person, I know I would get in the habit if I would just force myself to...but I usually wake up once or twice a night after going to bed no earlier than 10, I just can't imagine waking up earlier than I do now. I don't want to spend the money for a gym membership so I just need to start forcing myself to freakin' wake up. I would feel better if I were running again.

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redrose85 Mentor

redrose85

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My goal is to get into the habit of morning exercise too. It's tough, especially when you're not sleeping well. I am trying to ease into it by doing the full body meltdown (it's on pinterest) in the mornings. At the very least, it wakes me up. I'd wager that you suddenly stopping running has a lot to do with your mood. You could also do those fitness dvd's at home, but honestly, if you were running 3-5 times a week, you probably like it best and would benefit from just doing it. I know what you mean though, it's dark until I go to work and it's dark before I leave work. I don't get to have my walks except on weekends.

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