Shelby...as we know it.

[dangletsbang]

I had to take Hayden to the doctor this morning...two reasons.. 1) on wednesday, he started complaining about his lower back hurting to his babysitter but when I got home, he was just talking about his butt [he's obsessed with butts]...so I decided to play it safe and get him checked out since the accident he was in on Monday. 2) he's been slowly getting sick this week...runny nose, cough and then this morning the cough became productive. He did great, he's got some allergy issues and a sinus infection. Back checked out okay. He's gained FIVE pounds since the beginning of the year though. His doctor just kept saying "man, he's solid! this kid is gonna be huge." Yes, yes I know.

 

One of my childhood best friends I grew up with is on drugs really bad. She has a son a few months older than Hayden and not very many people know but her mom took him away from her and his dad due to the drugs and living situation. Her long term boyfriend and the father to her son has been in jail for the past 4 months for controlled substances...I have no idea where she's living but apparently they aren't together anymore. She's always been a pretty big [overweight] girl...but the pictures she's posting the past week or two on facebook tell the entire story. She's got excess skin hanging from her arms, her stomach is sagging because of weightloss...she's had to have lost at least 100 pounds and she's never been one to exercise. She's into some rough stuff and my heart just breaks for her son. He's so far behind..he's getting a lot better now that he's with her mom and dad but before his vocabulary was that of an 18 month old, he was filthy and living in horrible conditions before she got him. I just compare that to Hayden [i know all kids are different dont get me wrong]...but Hayden can say things like 'ridiculous', 'necessary' and 'complain' in the right context. My old friend posted on facebook that she's supposedly about to go to rehab which is a step in the right direction but who knows if she'll go through with it. Sad. Such a sad, sad situation.

[redrose85]

Oh gosh, that is scary about the accident, and so sad about your friend... I hope she gets the help she needs, for her son as much as for herself.

[dangletsbang]

Ahh, is it sad that I would be ECSTATIC if T found a girlfriend? Like a good girl that would be good for him? who would motivate and make him strive to be a better person and father? I told him the other day he needs to give girls a chance but someone just told me that on facebook this girl from our town that is younger than us...essentially crazy...promiscuous and has a young child...is posting on his facebook and crap like they're 'talking'...it makes me wanna cringe. I'm fully aware I have no control over who he dates and it's none of my business...but this is a female I would not want my child around. I'm totally open to giving girls a chance if T gets in a serious relationship. BUT WHY HER? I mean this isn't just rumors or people talking crap, this girl is nuts. Just a couple of weeks ago, K [my boyfriend] has a couple friends he's pretty close too...I'll call them bob and jim, they're typical bar hopping 23-24 year old guys who are okay with hooking up with random females they meet at bars. Bob and Jim were at a bar where they met her and one of her friends. After a couple hours...the said girl who is supposedly talking to T...and Bob start making out. They exchange numbers before they leave the bar. [kinda backwards, lolz] The next day, she sends them friend requests on facebook and after texting Bob for a day and a half or so...she puts that theyre in a relationship on facebook. Bob deems her crazy and then she immediately starts texting Jim and trying to meet/hook up with him. The poor girl just has issues..whether they're daddy issues or what, idk but I don't want my child around that. I feel sorry for hers, her baby has no choice...buttttt mine does.

 

Oh well it's out of my control. All I can do is pray about it and for him to make good choices.

[dangletsbang]

It's amazing to see what some people will tolerate in relationships. It's crazy looking back at what I tolerated in relationships. Giving it up and letting go was one of the hardest things I've ever done..not wanting to be alone again..but i'm so glad I did. The doors that have opened up for me as a result of letting go are so much more..'me'.

 

If you aren't happy, LET GO. Don't waste your time on bs. Know your worth.

[hers]

Everything good?

[dangletsbang]

Yeah, one of my friends sisters is in an abusive relationship...it's so bad her father is posting on facebook because her husband is abusing illegal steroids and went on a roid rage this weekend...trashed her house, cut up her clothes, smashed a picture frame that cut her 2 year old daughters hand. She keeps telling her dad to delete the post but it's like the typical abusive relationship. He apologizes, they're going to church, nothing is wrong, it's all a misunderstanding that no one else could possibly understand. I feel bad for her dad because it's obvious he's trying to protect his daughter and grandchildren...it's only gonna get worse, you know? Her husband has her seeking help with therapy like it's her fault she's unhappy..she's losing dramatic amounts of weight because he's been meeting up with girls at the gym, constantly reposts pictures of girls with six packs/size zero waists...it's just sad that she's putting herself [and her 2 kids that aren't his] through all of that for a douche bag.

 

Another girl I know is working her ass off to get through school plus a full time job and her boyfriend sits at home and plays video games all day. They fight all the time...in the end, HE makes her feel like the one in the wrong. I'm like...what? I just couldn't be okay with that. I dunno, it's none of my business though.

[OptomisticGirl]

It is crazy to look back and see what I tolerated in my past relationship (which oddly enough was like the last relationship you described).

 

Some people will never see the problems though.

[dangletsbang]

It was just confirmed...starting crossfit tonight. I'm terrified. I'm not as conditioned as I would've liked to be but oh well, gotta start somewhere.

[redrose85]

Hey very cool! I don’t blame you for being terrified, but everyone is new at something once, right?

[dangletsbang]

Yeah. I had a lot of fun. We have to complete 2 element classes before we start the actual classes..class 1, done! I am so sore but I had so much fun! The owners are a husband and wife and the husband is who did our class. He was hilarious and extremely helpful without being overbearing. It was super intimidating when I walked in but everyone was really nice...loved the atmosphere. We focused on the proper technique for the 'power clean' and we went over some of the other basic moves, as well as vocabulary used in the box. I'm really excited about our next class and to see a change in my body. I definitely see myself already getting addicted to this.

[dangletsbang]

Ohhh what I would give to be a stay at home mom today..or at least for a week.

[redrose85]

How come? I think SAHM would be a great job, but why this week in particular?

[dangletsbang]

I just want a week 'off' to spend with Hayden. I just want more time with my son in general. I know can't afford to do it full time but I would love to for a week...not having to wake him up early, or be in a rush in the mornings...lots of play time in the beautiful weather we've been having...napping together..doing some spring cleaning in my room...pinterest crafts. I really just miss him when i'm at work. Last night I didn't get home till after 9pm...we had patients in clinic until 8:15pm. I just miss him, I guess..that's all.

 

 

and I should've never complained about being sore yesterday because delayed onset muscle soreness just took my pain to a whole 'notha level. I could barely turn my steering wheel this morning. I almost called in. ahhh. It hurts so good though.

 

Just ordered the coco rave tankini top i've been eyeing for the past couple of months. Didn't want to spend $120 for the top AND bottom...so I just bought the top and will find some bottoms in a matching solid color at target. I knew if I didn't order it I would be so upset if they sold out or if I didn't have it when we start going to the water park....soooo I just sucked it up and bought it. Hopefully sizing will be okay. I would love to be able to wear a bikini...but with my excess skin/stretch marks, I'll never be able to unless 1) I get a tummy tuck or 2) just don't give a crap what people think. I hate how everyone is always like "oh shut up, you're so skinny...you can wear a bikini!" Unless I actually show them what i'm talking about, they have no idea. I'm proud of myself for losing weight and all that jazz....but my stomach is tore up. I envy all women who have babies or lose lots of weight and have flawless skin. Thankfully they're coming out with cuter tankinis each year though.

[Firiel]

I just want a week 'off' to spend with Hayden. I just want more time with my son in general. I know can't afford to do it full time but I would love to for a week...not having to wake him up early, or be in a rush in the mornings...lots of play time in the beautiful weather we've been having...napping together..doing some spring cleaning in my room...pinterest crafts. I really just miss him when i'm at work. Last night I didn't get home till after 9pm...we had patients in clinic until 8:15pm. I just miss him, I guess..that's all.

 

You get vacation time, right? Could you take a mini-staycation and spend a long weekend just hanging out with Hayden?

[dangletsbang]

I do, it's just so hard for me to even call in sick at work much less take a week off. I've got PTO hours out the ears. I'm definitely going to do it this summer once the water park we have passes to opens. I'm going to plan a week of doing a couple of activites like the zoo, water park a couple of times and then a couple of days where we just stay at home. I have to do it for my sanity.

[Firiel]

I do, it's just so hard for me to even call in sick at work much less take a week off. I've got PTO hours out the ears. I'm definitely going to do it this summer once the water park we have passes to opens. I'm going to plan a week of doing a couple of activites like the zoo, water park a couple of times and then a couple of days where we just stay at home. I have to do it for my sanity.

 

That makes sense. Not sure how fast your PTO accumulates, but maybe taking one Friday or Monday a month off so you can have a three-day weekend with your guy would be feasible. After all, that's exactly what it's there for!

[dangletsbang]

My second and last element's class for crossfit is tonight and i'm soooo nervous...again. Just afraid of the struggle of trying to keep up but oh well. That's part of it.

[dangletsbang]

Completed my last elements class yesterday evening and completed my first true WOD [workout of the day] this morning at 6am! I was really nervous becaue I am not a morning person at all but I seriously feel like such a B.A. right now. I woke up at 5:15, threw my hair up in a ponytain, ate some oats with dried fruit, nuts and honey...and went and kicked my workout's butt. We did bench press plus a bunch of other workouts for our arms. My max weight for bench press was 70 pounds. I'm so glad I decided to get up and start my day like that. Everyone in the 6am class was so nice and supportive. I'm super excited about my crossfit journey, i've definitely made the right decision!!!

[dangletsbang]

I was hungry literally all day yesterday. I would eat...and get hungry 15 minutes later. I ate plenty yesterday...I know how I have to make sure I put fuel into my body but I wonder if it's gonna always be like that. I hate feeling hungry!

 

I'm really sore this morning...it hurts but it's a good feeling. It's also reminding me to make good choices when it comes to food. I really wanted a fatty breakfast sandwich this morning but my aching abs, arms, back, butt and legs reminded me that diet is everything. I chugged a muscle milk protein shake instead. Usually it's extremely hard for me to pass up junk food/fast food...but for some reason, it's really not a big deal passing up those things to me. Last night, we didn't cook...I wanted boneless wings from buffalo wild wings...instead of boneless wings, I got their 'naked tenders' which are just grilled chicken tenderloins. I'm surprised i'm taking this so seriously but I suppose it's because I know how much $$$ i'm putting into this...and I know how hard this is, I don't want all of my hard work to go to waste because I wanted something fried. I'm going to do some research today for something that can help combat muscle soreness.

[Firiel]

I was hungry literally all day yesterday. I would eat...and get hungry 15 minutes later. I ate plenty yesterday...I know how I have to make sure I put fuel into my body but I wonder if it's gonna always be like that. I hate feeling hungry!

 

I think your body gets used to exercise regimes. In my experience (and the boyfriend's), "the hunger" dies down after you've been doing more exercise for a while. I'm WAY less hungry than I was when I first started my half-Ironman training, and the boyfriend always needs more fuel for rides when he starts riding again in the spring than when he stops in the fall. I think our bodies just get more effective at performing the exercise and don't need to burn as many calories (hence why "mixing it up" is often advice for battling a plateau in weight loss).

[dangletsbang]

I feel like everyone I know would roll their eyes if I told them this...but I'm seriously thinking about training to try and compete in the Crossfit Games. It would take a lot of sweat, tears, time and money to do it but after watching some of the regional competitions...and seeing their reactions after busting their butts for so long is incredible. I've only told my sister and she says it's just mind over matter. I've only been doing crossfit for a couple of weeks...so i'm going to see how the next few months go and then i'll reevaluate the thought. It would be extremely hard...but I dunno..

[redrose85]

You’re inspiring me

 

Someone is egging me on to join this hardcore gym in town (they train varsity athletes and olympians...) and I am really intimidated by it!

[dangletsbang]

I'm intimidated at every workout...every time I go in, it's less...but it's still there. I swear I will never forget the first time I walked in for my first class and saw everyone busting their butts...I stopped in my tracks and almost turned around. I have been wanting to do this for a very long time but that fear has been holding me back. I started with Hayden's aunt/T's sister...this morning was my first workout without her. She couldn't go but I decided to cut the cord and stop relying on her to be there too. I did fine...we did knees to elbows and I reallyyyy need to develop my core before I can do a proper one. My hands are developing blisters from the weight bar, hanging on the bar and rings.

[redrose85]

Those blisters and callouses are probably so satisfying though!

 

Is knees to elbows also known as double crunches?

[dangletsbang]

No, not double crunches...I've never heard of them until today. You hang from the pullup bar and lift your knees to touch your elbows and then slowly return to starting position...repeat. I definitely couldn't go all the way up. It's an awesome core workout that I didn't know about. I knew about leg raises and stuff but not those. We did knees to elbows and front squats [my coach only made me squat 35lbs]...21 reps, 15 reps and then 9 reps for time after our warm up...which I consider a workout in itself. They do 5 different stations and put us in groups of 2 or 3 to complete the warm up before our actual workout of the day. Today we did the ab roller, 10 reps. Mat jumps, which are these mats with 5 dots on them like a dice rolled to #5....you have to do various jumps, 10 reps. 10 goblet squats. 10 ring rows and 10 spiderman pushups...repeat 3 times.

 

I was one of the first ones done but I definitely felt guilty-ish...I think because my workout wasn't as hard as the others. It was hard for ME so that's all that should matter but still. I saw them all lifting more than me and actually being able to do the knees to elbows...I just felt like I got the easy way out. Oh well, I really need to get over feeling like this. It's going to take a lot of time to get to their level.