THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[LaRock]

Day Three Begins

[MMT]

I agree with t1lersm0m1. "It's about healing. It's not a strategy to win the ex back. It's winning YOU back."

 

 

All of this seems like a game. I used to do when I was in my early 20s. When you grow older, there cannot be no games about ex contacts and etc. In my opinion this is a bit immature if you are older.

 

Everyone, don`t do my mistakes. Just before doing something, think a bit. But when it comes to your heart do not hesitate ever. The hardest part is to realize what can harm the future and what can save the future. Try to think at least 2 steps ahead before destroying something.

[MMT]

Day 18

 

I want to be with you, but I know I am not still ready. I need to heal my wounds. I need to change my view. I need to be brave, to have motivation to live.

I have forgotten myself. I should stop comparing myself to the others. Everyone has his own life. I may lost years in my life, but can make it up now. I need to act. Overthinking has ruined my mind.

I know. My problem is that I have no motivation to live. That's why I become dependent on people.

My life may look f**cked up now. But I can change my way.... I should go on, even creeping sometimes, but should go on.

[MisSunny]

Posting early today, as I'm going to a Halloween party tonight. Woke up feeling a bit melancholy... After a work out and some positive reading, I feel much better. I wonder why I'm suddenly so... Affected by everything again... Maybe it has something to do with the thoughts of him with another girl that wriggle their way into my consciousness. I'm not sure I'll stop NC after 30 days, as I am fairly certain that as long as he is with this girl, he will not be interested in speaking to me in any way. Sometimes I feel like I've become the bad guy in all this, and I wonder how? I don't know. All I can do is work on me.

[brokendoll]

broke my NC saying Goodmorning out of habit. and this time I got an instantaneous reply "morning babe". Usually takes him way longer. And nothing else the rest of the day. Going back to NC. please kill me someone , NOW. My heart is already dead.

[AE9876]

broke my NC saying Goodmorning out of habit. and this time I got an instantaneous reply "morning babe". Usually takes him way longer. And nothing else the rest of the day. Going back to NC. please kill me someone , NOW. My heart is already dead.

 

Breaking NC can be a blow because we often don't get what we want out of our contact and it makes you feel even worse - when you thought you couldn't possibly feel worse. If you are like me, no doubt you were checking your phone all day like crazy. Don't beat yourself up. You haven't done major damage. You only said good morning. Nothing mad or embarrassing from his point of view. He doesn't know what you are doing. He is probably wondering where you went. Ha.

 

Just get straight back into it. It was a small blip and minimal damage.

[t1lersm0m1]

The weekend is almost here!

[IAmFCA]

It's been 7 days. Not a day passes that I don't think of you. I am hopeful you are consulting your father, whom I think will lead you to me, but I can't say for sure.

 

it seems like B won. evil will not triumph over good, so I am keeping the faith.

 

I miss you, I think you are trying to dump me. I think you have no intention of dumping me. but you might, you may have already.

[LaRock]

day 4 Begins

 

I feel Like I'm Getting Better, But I Don't AT The Same Time, To Pass Time I Try Getting Out Of The House As Much As Possible, I Can't Be Alone...If I Sleep I Dream About her Then Wake Up Heart Racing, Sick To My Stomach, Lonely, Uncomfortable, Lost, Scared, Not AbleTo Fall Back Asleep..Missing How I'd Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night And LookAt My Phone To See A Text From Her How She Misses Me And Can't Sleep Or Can't Wait To See Me The Next Day...I'd Give Anything For A Second Chance

[MMT]

Day 19

 

I am thinking about myself more and more... accepting my situation, accepting everythings in my life in the past...

 

happy

[pc gamer]

haha what a great post. It already has me feeling better.

 

I'll take the challenge.

 

Day 1 of challenge. It's been lees than 7 days she told me to not contact her. I feel sad. The weekend is coming and I don't know what I will do. I have a family member coming over Sunday, other than that just maybe gaming or trying to find good food to eat.

 

 

P.S. I might pull out of this contract because it's not about me winning her back but about my healing.

[IAmFCA]

day 8

 

I may never talk to you again.

 

I may have made a bigger mistake than any of us realize.

 

However it unfolds, I will adhere to my vision. I still hope you are part of it.

[AE9876]

haha what a great post. It already has me feeling better.

 

I'll take the challenge.

 

Day 1 of challenge. It's been lees than 7 days she told me to not contact her. I feel sad. The weekend is coming and I don't know what I will do. I have a family member coming over Sunday, other than that just maybe gaming or trying to find good food to eat.

 

 

P.S. I might pull out of this contract because it's not about me winning her back but about my healing.

 

If it is not about winning her back then the best thing is to stick with no contact especially if the alternative is letting her know on impulse and whim all the intense thoughts you are having ranging from undying love, missing her, anger at this or that. Best just to get those crazy thoughts out there in the ether in a safe anonymous environment. If you are like most of us who have gone down this road, when you read them back some time from now you will be quite alarmed at yourself.

 

If it truly is about healing then the dignity you will salvage by no contact will serve you well in that process.

 

Good luck

[js0905]

broke my NC saying Goodmorning out of habit. and this time I got an instantaneous reply "morning babe". Usually takes him way longer. And nothing else the rest of the day. Going back to NC. please kill me someone , NOW. My heart is already dead.

 

Don't feel bad I was on day 20 yesterday but couldn't take it anymore and texted him for Halloween. I said "The scary thing is that I will always want you & forever be yours.... Happy Halloween honey!! (kissing emoticon).

This after emailing him, ending it and asking him not to email me, text me or contact me anymore 21 days ago....

 

Yes now he probably thinks I'm deranged....LOL!!??

 

He did reply within 20 minutes and said "I miss you baby (sad face emoticon) Happy Halloween!! Muah!!

I left it at that, didn't want to go overboard, just wanted to give him an opening or way back in. So now he has that and if he wants to make things work then he will and if not, oh well...

 

It did make me feel better at least for now and I think that even if nothing happens from here I'll still be ok.

 

So is back to day 1 for me too and you are an entire day ahead of me ; )

 

Let's see how it goes...

[t1lersm0m1]

Wow, 26 days ago I sent him an email I felt I needed to send. It wasn't an attempt to win him back, but a need to explain what happened the last weekend we were together, what prompted him to dump me. I perpetuated the break up by being a B all day Sunday because I wanted to break up with him. You see he's separated and not over his wife. The more time we spent together, the more it became evident.

 

He broke up with me September 6. I drove there, told him he was going to look me in the eye. I cried. Next day I called and texted and said I didn't understand. Sunday I drove there again and begged. 8 days after that I texted I miss my best friend and a few other things. Then the weekend of October 6 tried texting to no avail, and as I said 26 days ago sent the email.

 

Right now I feel amazing. I think about him in passing, but not of any of the moments we spent together. At this point I plan to contact him on Easter to see how he is and what he's up to. But who knows what I'll want by then!

 

In the end, he did me a favor. I LOVED him, but I was unhappy because I knew he still loved his wife. And it was killing me. I kept telling myself he just needed more time. He also has horrible self-esteem. His self-esteem caused so many problems between us. I would say something jokingly, he took it seriously, and then when I told him I was joking it didn't seem to matter. Example: he called me a nag through text and winked. I called him a butthole (other word) and stuck my tongue out. Apparently he doesn't know the emoticon with the tongue sticking out. That led to a HUGE fight. He wouldn't talk to me ALL day. I finally had to drive there to get him to talk to me.

 

He let everyone in his life walk all over him. I told my friend from FL about him (I'm in PA) and the first thing I said to describe him (this was back before our first break up in June) was "He's a great guy but he has no back bone and I'm going to walk all over him." She called me on it. She's like you need to end it. I said but he treats me wonderful, he took me to NYC to see Phantom, he's taking me to DC, he's amazing. She said That's all well and good but the very first thing you told me is he has no backbone and you're going to walk all over him.

 

Hindsight really is 20/20.

[MisSunny]

I had a pretty hard day, today. Everything just hit me really hard and I just felt down all day. Pretty much killed my first NaNoWriMo session, couldn't focus on anything but beating back the awful feelings. The scary thing is, I practically had a panic attack while driving home; and that's really really bad. I hope I'm just feeling like this because it's "that time of the month". I've always been hyper emotional around this time... But I guess things gradually get better.

[dnivie]

Day 1

 

She was my best friend and we got together in the spring. A lot of stuff was happening in my life at the time, my mother went to prison and my father whom I never knew died. Not the best time to start a relationship. I was not a very good boyfriend. She supported me through everything and I treated her like she was a nuisance. In the summer I went away to do a language course and she stayed home. We had contact through Viber the whole time, talking everyday. I was having a hard time and it was great having her support. But then I met this other girl that I felt attraction towards. I don't really understand what I was thinking, but I just went with it and we kissed. I hardly slept that night. The next morning my girlfriend sent me lots of messages, she sensed that something was wrong. So I called her and told her everything. And I broke up with her, thinking that it was for the best, that I didn't love her enough. She hated me, and I don't blame her.

 

So, we're in the same class at university and this fall we're on a semester abroad. I met her again and she really hated me. I still felt that breaking up with her was the right decision. Slowly we started talking again. Not like before, but at least we were talking. Then I found out that she's met this other guy. At first, I was a bit jealous, but it was fine. I talked to her about him. But it all changes when I met him. It was like being hit by a truck. I just felt I wanted to throw up. I started realizing I'm far from over her. Even before this I've been having feelings for her again, but now it got even stronger. Luckily, the new guy didn't really work out. Finally I decided that I do want her back. I thought about it for over a week, then I called her and said that I had to tell her something. She came over and I read a letter that I wrote to her. She looked at me with pity and tells me that at some point she was dreaming about me doing this, but that it's just too late now. At first I actually felt good. But after a few days I started feeling like . I see her everyday in class and I can feel that she sees me as a pathetic little fool. And I am. I had the best girl in the world and I threw her away and now I regret it.

 

NC will be extremely hard. All I want is to talk to her.

[t1lersm0m1]

I have a fourth date tonight. This seems to be the third good guy I've met since my divorce. He waited until the third date to kiss me. Hasn't brought up sex. Drives to see me (lives 45 minutes away), pays for the dates. Calls me daily.

 

This time last year, finding a good guy would make me want to push him away as I didn't think I deserved a good guy. But now that I've found my self-love, I know I deserve this.

 

I barely think about my ex from this year. I was trying to get back together with my ex from last year, but realized he's not really trying, so not sure what his deal is and give up trying to figure it out.

 

I love my life and feel so blessed. I wouldn't trade any of the heartbreak for the lessons I've learned.

 

I remember finding the link to the eight week challenge thread in another thread, and praying it came true for me. Now, I don't really care if I ever hear from him again. I'd like to, at some point in the future, because he was a good guy and I want him to be happy. I'd love to see the man he becomes when he finds his self-confidence. I think that man can make a good woman very very happy.

[MMT]

goood for you : ) : ) : ) : )

[IAmFCA]

9

 

1. R's parents live in Ireland

2. Today, out of the blue: Mom, you're pretty (offered to counter an jesting insult). You got M to like you, and he's so hot, his father must be cooking.

 

huh? 1- did A just tell me a cheesy pick up line? did it make any sense? did she just call a peer of mine "smoking"? ok, this made me laugh on so many levels.

 

3. I did diamonds in the park today.

 

I am learning to get with the idea that you are gone for good.

 

I can't have you now anyway. Too messy. I'm glad you are gone.

 

My instincts keep trying on ways to get your attention. a light note sent by small mail, something. and then those same instincts throw it out. to trust me you will need peace from me.

 

hate this.

[IAmFCA]

oh, and, oddly

 

please stay away. negative waves have pierced my bubble. I need to purge, then make it safe.

[t1lersm0m1]

You have to slam the door shut. You were NOT happy,that's why you ended it. This is tough love. But he was not making time for you, and you had the feeling he was lying to you. We women have wonderful instincts, it's up to US to listen to them. I know I ignored mine when I dated plenty of losers and jerks.

 

By telling him you will always love him, if he ever comes back, there has to be no hurry because he knows you are waiting.

[t1lersm0m1]

Thanks!!!!!

 

goood for you : ) : ) : ) : )

[js0905]

You have to slam the door shut. You were NOT happy,that's why you ended it. This is tough love. But he was not making time for you, and you had the feeling he was lying to you. We women have wonderful instincts, it's up to US to listen to them. I know I ignored mine when I dated plenty of losers and jerks.

 

By telling him you will always love him, if he ever comes back, there has to be no hurry because he knows you are waiting.

 

 

I know I tend to be a romantic and show my feelings. (He knows that about me)

Just hope that he doesn't read into it what you said. Want to believe he will just see it for the true that it is (unfortunately).

 

It's taking me a bit longer than I wanted, to get over him. I have gone as much as 28 days NC before but he had contacted me on day 23 so I got back to him.

 

Now I was at day 20 and not sure what happened, just had a weak/needy moment.

 

I'm needy and because of a lot of issues in my life while I was growing up don't have the self confidence and love for myself I should have.

At least I'm aware of it and I'm a work in progress, all I can do is try and try again.

 

The truth is that I have felt similar feelings before for someone else and gone through kind of the same situations??

 

If anything the relationships keep getting better and more meaningful so I shouldn't doubt something better is out there.

 

However right now I'm still at that point where I want only him. In between our breaks I have tried to date and communicate with others to forget him but so far not one of them has made the grade.

 

I guess I'm just very picky and well there is something about him that is different and special which I can't describe.

Sometimes I just have these moments where I wish I could be with him again just one more time.

My birthday is this month and what I would do to have him comeback to me as a birthday gift....LOL!!

 

I'm going to stop myself now.....

 

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it =)

[LaRock]

Day Five. I Bought A New Car ...I Want Her To Be The One I Drive Around In It. Till Tomorrow