THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[fireyred3]

I agree with ...you didn't contact she did.....on my personal issues...difficult to be friends....make a clear break...she may drag you back to square 1....if only i could take a dose of my own meds....still working on mine

[JohnGalt]

I think you know, friendship is something that is just as sacred as a relationship and it also gives the dumpees a little bit of power where the dumper wants to stay friends.

 

As far as I'm concerned, my friendship is a perk of the relationship. No relationship? No friendship.

 

And it doesn't make me feel bad. You dumped me as a romantic partner. I dumped you as a friend. Seems fair to me.

[crazyoflove]

Day 4

 

For past three nights she sent me texts at some silly hour. I did not bother to respond to any of them. I also dont have urge to contact her. But part of me wonders, why these texts, why at that hour? What does she want after she told me she cant be serious with me and forced me to leave?

[twodegrees]

Today is the last day of November. I am committing to NC for the full month of December. I am tired of feeling like this. Even when she contacts me and I keep calm and fun-loving, I still feel like crap the day after. It has been one month since the breakup. I have to move on! Tomorrow Dec 1st will be day 1

[ick]

Day 4 NC

 

Ahh what a great day. Went to work made a sale relaxed w my friends and my brother. Had deep conversations w all of them. Connected w them in ways I haven't in months. Started reading a truly amazing read called NLP The New Technology of Achievement. Everyone and anyone should read this to start feeling better ASAP.

 

Took a step back and looked at my situation as my friend and not as myself. Did wonders for me. Let me take her right off the pedestal I had her on. I realized as a friend I would just say "feel better. Do what's right for you. Use it as a learning experience and realize now is your chance to grow and become the person you're supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason and this split is the best thing that ever happened to you."

 

Positive attitude positive results my friends. Let your pain be a source of personal growth and not force u to regress into a bad place (contacting them and or clinging to hope). Here's to day 5 being just as good if not better. Going to relax get breakfast at my favorite place. Hang w my dad. Read my book. Go to gym. Go watch football w friends and go out drinking to flirt w some girls. Can't wait!

[ghost1ee]

Day 5

 

Went grocery shopping with my mom yesterday. Like always, thoughts of her and her new guy still lingers in my mind the whole time. I was a bit irritated and my mom could tell. I work part time in her business, and she didn't pay me for the week. She thought I was upset about the fact that her pay is late, but I told her "It's not that." I also started reading a book about 3rd year med students, which is really interesting. It helps me pass the time. Overall, I feel alright the last day. I actually am eating right now. Also, my sleeping pattern has gone back to normal. I slept around 11 or midnight, then woke up around 7:45am. I woke up not feeling sad at all. This is good. I had the urge to email my ex something last night, but thanks to the feedback, I kept it to myself. Here goes another day.

[cwsreddy]

Day 11

 

Was supposed to run a 5K this morning but I bailed and ran 6 miles instead. Haha so... like two 5Ks.

 

That said, my route took me straight past the ex's apartment, which was bizarre. I think I'm still at the point where I don't want to move on. And not out of fear or... anything whiny or *****y. I think I just honestly feel that I want to be with this girl.

 

I really shouldn't have read The Alchemist the other day. (except I'm really glad I did)

[rachellsa]

2 Weeks of NC, 6 weeks since BU.

Wow half way there! (Not that i'm going to contact him after that!!) I feel for me now, if I can just get to the end of the year that'll be great. Then I can completely start over.

 

On a different note, went out last night with friends and ended up giving my number to a friend of a friend. Don't really know if i'm ready to date yet, we didn't even really click or talk that much all night but it was obvious he liked me and I did quite fancy him..Guess we'll see where it goes!

[Mistykitty]

Day 1 again

 

Hasn't been too bad

[crazyoflove]

Day 5

 

Another text from her last night at 4am which I ignored. This time she wanted to wish me safe journey and to ask me to forgive her for everything she can't or doesnt know to do. I have no urge to contact her but would like to talk with someone about what these texts mean. Why in late hours and why contacting me when I asked her not to call me unless she is willing to work on our issues. Could it be that she is so cruel that she is trying to mess with my head just for fun?

[JohnGalt]

probably had a dream and had the urge to contact.

[rachellsa]

Keeping you on the back burner so you don't move on. Change your number if you can.

[CutieGirl]

Can anyone offer any advice?

[cwsreddy]

Got my first unexpected kick in the gut today. The ex and I had a joint movie rewards card, and I just got an email saying I've got a new reward on the card! (Meaning it's being used).

 

It's really weird knowing EXACTLY what she's doing and where she is right now. She bought two tickets, which PROBABLY means she's with her roommate, because if it were a guy he'd better be payin' right?? lol

 

Obviously I should probably like... unsubscribe from the email notifications, but it sucks that she gets to keep using the card that we both accumulated so much money on (we saw lots of movies). I should just shrug it off and not worry about it, even though I'd LOVE to use this as an excuse to contact her. Talk me down y'all.

[rachellsa]

Can anyone offer any advice?

 

I don't think the aim of this thread is to offer advice as its more about recording and sharing your no contact experience. However, no I don't think you did anything wrong. Sounds like you handled the situation perfectly. Keep with NC but do it for you, not to get him back. Often that only disappoints. Record your no contact on here so we can all support you!

[NCForeverGirl]

I'm on Day 30!

 

I'm going to a gig with a friend so that should be nice. It will get my mind off him a bit. I wish I could just stop thinking about him you know? It's not as bad as the early days of NC but a dull pain is still there. It's my ego I think. It's a bit bruised and I think it always will be. It's not easy when they left you because of another woman.

[twodegrees]

Day 1 of NC

 

First part of the day was OK...got up, drank my coffee, stayed busy with laundry and other things around the house. Went to crossfit around 10am and that kept me busy till noon. Second half of the day was awful. I had my company Christmas party tonight...she went with me last year. At one point so much emotion hit me I thought I was going to cry. That is embarassing to admit. I did my best to fake happiness, got a long way to go. I'm not near over her as much as I thought...I miss her so much. I want her to be happy though, and if that means without me, so be it. Hope tomorrow is better.

[cornplaster]

Day dont know what. experiencing lots of emotions and feel like i didn't move forward for this past few months.

[zep]

Day 28

 

It's now the 11th Sunday since the BU. Sunday has always been the hardest day for me. I wish I had started writing a record of how I was feeling back in the end of September, because I know I've come SO far since then. I used to have to work to keep myself busy and distracted on Sundays or else I would ruminate and get very sad and cry (and contact) but now it's just another day.

 

The last few days I've had little anger surges, and I've wanted to contact the ex to tell him just what a scumbag I think he is. Not very strong urges though, I've never actually considered doing it. I just can't wait til Dec 14th, the day I leave this apartment and fly home for three weeks. When I return I will be in my new apartment and starting my totally new life.

 

I also feel every day my slight desire to date again growing. A month ago the idea of dating was absurd, I had no desire whatsoever. But now I've found myself much more engaged in conversations with the men I met, much more friendly and funny. And when I watched movies in bed this weekend I thought how great it would be if there was someone with me.

 

This month of NC has really healed me. I'm very happy about it. I feel the overwhelming relief that I am free from that relationship. It was like emotional poisonous quicksand, and now that I'm out I'm never going anywhere near it again.

[zep]

I'm on Day 30!

 

I'm going to a gig with a friend so that should be nice. It will get my mind off him a bit. I wish I could just stop thinking about him you know? It's not as bad as the early days of NC but a dull pain is still there. It's my ego I think. It's a bit bruised and I think it always will be. It's not easy when they left you because of another woman.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Do you think you are going to keep posting here as you continue NC?

[cwsreddy]

Yesterday and today have been rough. I guess I'm torturing myself in a way... ran past her apartment in the AM, watched a movie she had really wanted to see (Salmon Fishing in the Yemen) and read a book (The Alchemist) I'd always wanted to read but noticed on her shelf the last time I was in her apartment. OH and I'm watching marathons of How I Met Your Mother.

 

Can you say wallow? Cuz that's me, and that's what I'm doing right now! UGH. I hate it, but I love it.

[ick]

Day 6 NC

 

The last week has been crazy. A ton of emotional ups and downs. I know BU / NC and getting over her / out of my mind are best things for me as an individual. That keeps me strong. The last two days have been manageable and I feel like I'm getting my emotions under control finally. I feel so happy and positive about what's to come for me but the feeling of loss and emptiness is holding me back from doing those things this second. I can't wait until I feel the drive and motivation w out the pain. I slept in my bed for first time last night and slept great. I fell asleep reading after mentally telling myself "I give myself permission to sleep wholly and peacefully." I woke up at 8am and fell back asleep reading. It's then that I had a dream about her. She was so close I could almost kiss her I woke up feeling that terrible sinking feeling again. I simply told myself "it's natural. Your subconscious feels a hole and tries to fill it. It is the last to let go. But I am a strong willed human being and I will get it under control."

 

I then went on to read my lists of why it didn't work, what I'm destined for and what goals I want to achieve in my future both short term and long term. I felt completely better and am ready to take on my Sunday in a positive way, in a way that will bring me closer to achieving my goals.

 

Here's to week 2 of NC being better but more importantly a week that brings me as an individual closer to my goals

[ghost1ee]

Day 6

 

Watched more of my bro's basketball tourney most of the day yesterday. Also, played four games of basketball at the park. It really bothered me because there was a girl there that was talking to another guy while he was shooting some baskets and it really reminded me of my ex and her new guy. It was painful watching them. My appetite is doing pretty well now. Although, I did wake up around 4:40am this morning, but I blame it on me not taking a shower last night. I went to bed all sticky, with dry sweat from playing bball. I was too tired to take a shower so that's what I get. But even today, I went to church this morning and couldn't stop thinking of my ex still. Argghhh I wish the time will come when she's completely out of my mind. It's really annoying and painful to keep thinking of her and keep wondering how she's doing now. It pains me thinking she's probably doing better than me, her pain being healed by the new guy, while I am here feeling abandoned and worthless. Oh I wish these feelings would just go away already. I don't want to suppress them, because bottling up these emotions would just make it worse later on. Ahhhhhh.

[rachellsa]

ghost1ee, I think you're doing fine for day 6, the first week is the hardest. Week 2 gets easier though you start to wonder why they're not contacting you. Just have to keep pushing through!

 

As for me it's Day 15, Ex text me this morning for the first time in this many days, just said he found more of my stuff at his house and a few letters there for me, and do I want to come and get them. I haven't replied even though the text involved a question. I do want my stuff (have a horrible feeling its the tea set my friend got me because I can't find it anywhere) but at the same time I really don't want to collect it from him, I also don't want to communicate with him at all. When I found some of his stuff, i bagged it up and left it by his front door when he was at work, I'm hoping he'll get the hint and just do the same for me. Why oh why does he think it's appropriate to continue contacting me over trivial things when I've already ignored his texts before!

 

On a brighter note, I have a date next week and am really looking forward to it, though I am a tad nervous. I'm not looking to jump back into a relationship as I know it's too soon but it's nice to note that I feel NC has got me to the stage where I feel I can date.

 

For those struggling with the purpose of NC, I did a lot in the beginning, eventually it becomes totally empowering. I am now in control of this break up. He doesn't get replies from me because i don't want to. I'm doing this fully for me now. Not to annoy him, and definitely not for him to see "the error of his ways". I just purely couldn't care less what he's doing with his time!

[Mistykitty]

Day 2

Pretty good, except as soon as I got home from work I started getting screamed at =/ My family hates me. I sure do miss having a safe haven -sigh-