I unfortunately, am not doing very well. I called him yesterday only to get VM this of course put me back to "0" i spiraled down to sending a text later that night, no response....
My situation is much different. I am a married woman and he to is also married we've been involved for 6 yrs. We never really discussed where it was going, but occasionally tell me "it can not be anything other than it is" due to our marriages...but how so much he wish he could walk the beach with me, or compliment me...there's so much more he would say that sent mixed messages...telling me on one hand there could never be anything...but then he'd tell me different stuff that made me think he was getting emotionally involved.
Recently he traveled to Bogota Columbia he was there for 5 weeks came home for two then back to columbia for 10 days.
When he came home during those two weeks between his trips to Columbia he was distant made himself unavailable. I perceived it as "him being busy since he hadn't been home for 5 weeks. When he returned home from Columbia the 2nd time
I got the "we need to talk text" i knew something was wrong, apparently he had gotten involved with a Columbian woman, single has three kids 21, 19, 14...the 14 yrs old lives with her...this woman must've "rocked his world" he's confused, distraught, now he says "he's facing life decisions, his life, his wife....he has a different perspective on life...what the HELL
I've been with this man for 6 yrs. I would made those decisions with him..so now he goes to Columbia meets this woman for 2 weeks and gets all hung up ....he now tells me he needs time alone, to think, sort things out, re-eavluate his life....and now he has laid this bomb on me and literally shut the door and the lights on me.....in the meantime, they keep in contact via email....he feels sorry for her...heartbroken...she's poor never married, dad abused her the mom threw her out of the house...makes no money and lives a sad life....yet appreciative of everything...no woman as he says ever made him feel this way, she's never met a man like him.....
His wife never talks to him they have no relationship at all. They haven't had sex in over 2-1/2 yrs..they never talk or discuss..the communication is down.
Now his communication is down with me....he always told me he never plans anything...planning leads to disappointment...
yet he now is facing issues that require not a fast fix....possible divorce....divorce is huge, hurts all involved...he's waiting...son lives at home 17yrs old daughter 21 college....always said he stayed for the kids....soon within a year or two wants to leave....
so in the meantime, im' shut out although he's told me "he'll let me know what the outcome is, when he figures it all out".
while he still holds on to emails....do i think he plans to bring this girl to the states...a girl he was only with for 2 weeks....yes, it's my biggest fear...fear that i stood by his side for 6 yrs...waiting for the time i could have possibly had withhim.....now after only 2 weeks with this woman...he now looks at life decisions....A. divorce and B. bring a girl who, can't speak english,...let alone the culture of this country....and let's not forget...she has kids...will they come??...will only the 14 yr old??? Sounds like jumping from the frying pan and into the fire???? Of course, this is my active mind going....since we have not talked in a week...i'm not sure where he is in all of this....i know what I have to do...it's just getting my heart there....any suggestions....and help
also wanted to mention....as of now his work in Columbia is completed there are no signs of him returning and if there were...it would be a long time from now...I don't know what to do...i wanna help him...i wanna be there...bring him back to the logic of this...he is angry with me because when i first learned of all this...i kept discussing it, trying to help sort out feelings....i look at this called "communication" he sees it as pressure and needs to do it on his own....so im in the dark...yet i know he emails her...WHAT DO I DO????????
