THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[skheehee]

Speaking of the ex, today is Day 9 of NC, and her mum just texted me.

 

"Hi, hope this MSG finds you well. Pl take gd care n God bless u!

 

Im tempted to reply, but I know this will only delay the process of healing. Should I, or should I not?

[anonamau5]

Don't do it. If you think it will open old wounds...don't do it. Stay stronge.

[g3m1nn1]

What day? oh Day 13, right. It doesn't really matter right now. Maybe later, but not now.

 

I have to break my daily routines, maybe that's the main reason why everything seems pretty much the same over the last few days. I have noticed that during my morning cup of Joe, i come here and start reading, because it calms me down. As I have said before, mornings have a weird vibe, when I wake up, and get myself together, stuff sink in. Lately my sleep is not really great, I wake up during the night 3 - 4 times and she pops up in my mind, I distract myself and take a deep breath and try to fall asleep again and so on. So come the morning hours, I get up pretty early, I guess over the weeks I changed my sleeping routine, before I was more of a night owl, but nowadays I am in horizontal before midnight and waking up around 6 am - 7 am, which is really not like me.

 

Anyway I feel resentment towards her, today. I don't know why, but i guess I have been feeling it for a few days now. I resent her that she gave up, that she didn't stick around. Like I said earlier I know how she felt and what kind of vibe it was, so perhaps that's why I can't understand why she had a change of heart. I know that people change and emotions change, but seriously, so soon?

And while she is probably not thinking about this whole situation as much as I am and she is living her life, I am here dwelling on the past and thinking about her. I guess here is my answer. Go on with your life, 'cause it is my life and even if it sound silly: time will tell.

[dietcokenom]

Day 6 - It's going great. I actually woke up today and didn't think about him!!! I actually 'realized' that I hadn't thought about him when having breakfast. It was a weirdddd feeling!! Lol. NC really has helped me. I've realised he had such bad qualities and I couldn't spend the rest of my life with a mummy's boy! I don't know what the hell is going on in my head. Last week I would have jumped at the chance to get back with him, however, now - I don't think I want to

[NjoyStick]

Good for you dietcokenom ^^

 

Day 25 for me, somehow my days are divided by thibking about her and missing her and thinking about her and not missing her...

I guess it's all of those memories where we were so damn happy and in love and then all of a sudden... Ah wel you know the story...

I haven't been havind anymore dreams about her since a week so that's going better.

 

When we think about our ex we should think about the negative sides of them cause even though it hurts and we miss them they also have a bad side and some even have a very bad side but we tend to overlook to the positives, but that only hurts so stop thinking about the times you were happy together, think about the times you were fighting, the times you were angry at your ex or even the time when you wanted to break up cause you couldn't stand it anymore, i had those times, the bad times and thinking about it makes me feel alot better about being without her.

[ConfusingEx]

sorry to everyone that has posted i will get to replying shortly im just so happy and sad at the same time atm that i needed to get this out. i feel bad but also kinda relieved that i may have found a friend to hang with, or maybe not but iwas fun while the night lasted.

 

ur right all we have is ourselves.. tonight i took that to dinner with me, my mother has weekly raffles at our local RSL, she ask if i could take her i said sure, thinking it was going to be a really boring night with a bunch of 60+ year olds like going to bingo i was prepared to sit there on my phone playing games.. well that didnt happen at all, i got there and an old school friend of mine and her husband were there having dinner i went and said hello, how are you guys etc. they asked if i wanted to join them for dinner i was like nah its ok i dont want to interrupt your dinner, they both said no its ok, what i didnt realise is that they had also a friend who works at the club and it was her night off joining them, to my luck i didnt know that they were there to begin with and that it was a party of 3..

 

so i said sure i'll sit and have some dinner while my mother does her boring raffles, their friend came and sat down with us and i started talking to her, she knew me from a few times that i had bought my mother to the club, we talked and talked not mentioning our relationships or if we were with anyone it was just whats your favourite hobbies and music the usual getting to know a friend, i have no idea if she had a BF nor did she ask if i had GF, i had a really fun night just talking without any expectations of trying to impress a female to start something, no stress nothing, during talking and that i started to feel sick, not ill but weird like i was doing something wrong and cheating somehow, i started to go quiet and she noticed she asked if i as ok and if she was boring her, i tried desperately to explain without letting too much out that i had been in a relationship and that i just felt a little weird talking to another female, she said that she understood and its ok if i didnt want to talk to her, i said no no its ok i like talking to you, you are very interesting.

 

now she is nothing like my ex, doesnt like any of the stuff she liked or in anyway shape or form did she resemble my ex, so i was happy that i wasnt just talking to her cause she looked and acted like my ex.

as the night got late and my friend and her husband were just sitting there minding their own business we had forgotten about them, rude i know, but they understood i hope.

 

it got around 1/2 through our dinner and i got a message from my ex, she wanted to know some account details for a website that she orders Lingerie and clothes off, well for a start i had no idea what it was as it was in her name to begin with. i want to reply but thought NOO dont do it, so i let it go, she then messaged again, whenever u get the chance can u check for me please, i didnt reply to that either, i just kept thinking.. ok you have bills and food to buy and you want to buy clothes, now its her money her life and i dont care, but knowing her new BF is coming down in a couple of weeks, and she bought off this site when i was there i know exactly what she was buying and who for, i started to think OMG i dont want to think of this, i started to panic and get sweaty and quiet and not very talkative i put my phone on silent as i had forgotten to, and i kept feeling it vibrate knowing it was her messaging me, i checked when i had to goto the toilet, one her messages was "they have these nice red lacy lingerie" im thinking you didnt just say that to me.. my fav colour is red, and she knows it, telling ME that she is thinking of getting something red, and having this guy come down, and i havent spoken to her.

 

now when i was talking to her she wouldnt message me AT ALL, now that ive gone NC she is all of a sudden messaging about things ive been told already, bills she had told me about a week ago, "oh just wanted to remind you to pick it up anytime", all of a sudden im worth the time to send messages to when im not available to talk to, now whether its just boredom and she wants someone to talk to i dunno. the random "my life is boring, pointless" etc etc.

 

i really want to message i really do, even just to tell her look its not in my name it was in ur name and email for you account. but im not going to, im sure she can use her brain and try. now that i know that she is getting something im all messed up again, thinking of her wearing w/e it is and some other guy seeing my FAV colour on her.. it seems to me she is doing it for my attention, but why would she wear my colour for someone else. wouldnt it be better to ask his colour(which is actually pink) for lingerie as ive been told.. she hates pink to death and would never wear it which is really hilarious to me that he doesnt get his own way.. red she didnt think suited her at all but she wore it for me, and asfar as i know from the message she is getting red.

 

so back to my dinner, it got late and my mothers raffles were about to end, my friends knew i was there for that and had not planned on sitting down for dinner nor did i know their friend was going to be there or i would of told my mum to catch the bus lol.

so it was about time to go and i really didnt want to leave as i was just happy talking and chatting with a very interesting women, i gave my friend my mobile number and said contact me any time if u wanna have dinner and need a 3rd if it was ever a time you actually need a 3rd for dinner, this nice women(taylor) very nice name i thought, asked also if she could have my number i said sure, im available any time give me a buzz with a at the end,she said sure im always out for dinner on her nights off, as i know now she works at the club i might go there more often with my mother lol, so i had to get up and leave, shook my friends husbands hand, gave my friend a hug and kiss on the cheek(10 years since i last saw her) which i thought wth is this ok to give a kiss and hug to a friend i havent seen in a while, and then i said to taylor that i hoped to see her again and it was very nice meeting you, as i went to walk off, she walked after me and stopped me, turned me around and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

 

i am in noway expecting anything from this nor to see her again, but tbh it did feel nice, among weird for me as my ex has messaged me during dinner etc. she hasnt messaged me since and i dont know if she will, it just seems odd after not messaging me she all of a sudden is pulling out anything to get me to talk, a game? realised shes done something wrong? this guy is coming yet shes wearing MY colour? was it attention or a plea to me to go talk to her as she was dressing for my liking?

 

atm i still am not talking to her or replying, i got home and had to write this, as i said sorry to people who posted i will get back to you and reply to you posts for now i just need to relax have a shower and watch a bit of TV to think the night over.

 

C.E

[g3m1nn1]

my oh my, that was some essay no really, i am glad that you met someone you can talk to and that you could put aside even if just for a second all the messed up stuff.

As for the ex constantly texting on and off, in my opinion, she is seeking for attention, at least thats how i see it. if you don't feel like replying, don't.

[NjoyStick]

When i'm alone and i think about my ex too much i get sad and i miss her, when that happens there is one thing i can do to ease it and that's a good cry, i just go to youtube and look at the Scrubs ending video with "the book of love" by Peter Gabriel in the background, when the music starts, the tears start and at the end of the video i feel alot better.

When i'm in company i talk to my family and friends about it and they say she is not worth it and talk about how possesive, arrogant and pretty much not fun hanging around with she was and that i'm much better of.

That makes me feel better all of the time!

 

Here is the youtube link:

[anonamau5]

Day 10. Hit the gym hard. Feeling good today. Got plans for the night with some friends. Fingers crossed things stay good.

 

Hope everyone else has a wonderful day.

[g3m1nn1]

So lets see how the lucky 13 went so far, Not so bad really. Did get some stuff done for the project I am working on, so thats a plus, been keeping my mind busy. I also started reading this book " How to get a grip" really surprised about it. On the other hand, what I was thinking about has mainly to do with the fact that I should get out of this circle I am in, because frankly if it goes like this for some time I am gonna lose it, so tomorrow the plan is to get out with my friends, have a few drinks and just have a laugh or two. i don't know why today I have been thinking what would it be like if I didn't push so hard, you know.

 

I mean, mostly I didn't, but I guess some actions must have triggered her or something. And would it be so freaking bad to give her a call in some time and try to go from there. i am not trying to come out as desperate and certainly do not want to act like it, I still have got to get my things straight and all, but I somehow think to myself that perhaps, there is more to it, that where we are now, you know.

[ConfusingEx]

day 3, i think my previous post sums it up lol. cept now that im home and left to my own devices my mind is going crazy thinking about my ex. wondering what shes thinking because i havent messaged her back, if shes ok, if i have upset her(i know this is stupid), i know her emotional state when she gets depressed she goes through phases of just eating junk food, shes been on a routine for losing weight for a year now, and in the past 2 months her new BF and best friend, have been buying her nothing but junk food, as she works on her computer about 15hours a day give or take she says she has no time to cook,eat was never any problem when i was there.

 

these 2 guys have now put her back months on her weight loss and im afraid that she'll slip back into not caring about herself, her new BF obviously doesnt care now hes got the girl sure lets fatten her up so noone will want her and she wont want to go anywhere, now i loved her nomatter how she was from start to end, this guy bugs me cause he is only in it for himself, he got his prize on the first visit(hurts to think of it) and now again a couple of weeks he gets it again, so now im just sitting here worried sick about her and not able to enjoy what my night was for longer then it took me to get home from the club.

 

g3m1nn1 yeah i havent texted, i really want to just to see how she is but im not going to, she stopped texting after a while. we'll see how the next few days go with her, if im that worried about her i can call her mother and see how things are without directly speaking to my ex, yes its behind her back but it might set my mind at ease a little.

 

yeah getting out is definitely a good idea as i found out tonight i didnt expect to be smiling most the night, i thought id be bored out of my mind, get out have fun forget about the ex or atleast TRY it helps.

 

giving her a call down the track is a good idea IMO only when you think that it wont mess you up again, when you are ready to handle it without feeling resentment,anger or anything against her, you and her may find that the change in both of you is for the better, i know thats what im hoping for.

 

NjoyStick im in the same boat as i just mentioned, and since ive been here and able to talk i can now admit i have cried, im not afraid as i have been to show weakness or emotion for fear that my ex would think im some baby for having feelings.

 

my trigger is an episode of the tv show "continuum" episode 5 about 35mins or so into it, when the young girl finds out shes pregnant and that right there just sets me off, as its something ive recently had to deal with before my breakup.

 

my posts ramble this time of night, just figured it out, maybe its cause im always tired this time of night and cant sleep lol..

 

ramble ramble

[NjoyStick]

We are with you C.E.

 

I just read facebook post from a friend of my ex telling that they had a nice walk and talk and are hanging out next week and somehow it felt bad so i deleted her from my facebook and blocked her...

 

We are in this crap together but will come out of it stronger then ever!

[g3m1nn1]

i guess i spend too much time on this boards lately, he. oh well.

 

ok, you got to let it go man, stop worrying and questioning. believe me i know what i am talking about and the sh** does not do you any good, it only messes with your head. I understand that you are worried about her, which is nothing but a good thing, so maybe the best thing if you dont want to talk to her is to call her moms and ask around, you know.

but i know this things are tricky, thinking about it more than we should, I am sure our exes are not thinking about it as much. i guess.

 

i noticed that i had to stop listening to certain songs and group because of all the memories, it doesnt bother me, but its better to not hear a particular song. And i also stopped myself from watching any kind of romantic comedies and all that. On a side not, I just watched "This is England", a movie I have been trying to see for a long time, because its a bloody great movie movie ( yup, recommendation ).

 

Letting emotions out is nothing to be ashamed, I myself am also pretty emotional, so if/when they come, you gotta let 'em out.

 

Yeah, I know that the call shouldn't mess me up, if I think about it, I do have anger episodes, when I think about the situation, so I just go punch a boxing bag a few times and that's it, as far a resentment also. Deep down I know I shouldn't blame her, I mean we do make our own decision which we feel are the right ones for us, I guess I am just sad that things are where they are and it's probably also my fault and I accept it, not going to deny it. What I am trying to say, the thing that keeps me from ringing her is that I don't want to be pushy, because I know she hates it when people put on restrictions and demands and are taking up her personal time and space, you know what I mean.

[g3m1nn1]

Njoy good job. Small steps. I personally deleted myself from FB, just to get away from it for a while...

[NjoyStick]

Yea and at this moment it keeps hurting, i just got info that i didn't want to hear, she is going away for a week with him to Croatia... I mean ***... They are together for just 2 months now and already did more in that time then we did in 2 years.... Acting all happy with her new bf like nothing happened the last 4 years...

[ConfusingEx]

Njoy i know that feeling well, things that took me 6 months to do only 2 weeks for this new guy, nomatter how much u think you know your ex they always do something that suprises you.. with my ex its a change in confidence from loss of weight, but to be so easy.. thats just not right.. it hurts but just gotta try not to think about it

[g3m1nn1]

its a honeymoon phase, try not to get it into your head, man. i know its hard but do try to redirect your thoughts...

[brickheart]

Day 5.

 

This round is going much more quickly than the last. I think resigning up for the dating site was a great idea.

[ConfusingEx]

good to hear brick maybe i should try that lol.

 

g3m1nn1 yeah its the phase of, do ur best be the person your not hope they like it cause when it comes to showing your true self you hope to god they dont run for the hills.. sorry got that going through my head about my ex and her BF.. shes doing everything she has never done and goes against, hes telling her all the stuff she wants to hear because hes a creep and the total oppisite, come on.. he says hes 6'4 and hes shorter then i am, im 6'3 why lie about height O.o god knows what else hes lied about.. which is funny if i think about recent conversations with my ex. just LOL'd for real.

 

a game is helping me atm taking my mind of going crazy

[brickheart]

good to hear brick maybe i should try that lol.

 

Definitely! Get out there ASAP! And I'd love to critique your profile... For better or worse, I'm a very experienced profile writer/reader. Please let me help you with that.

[g3m1nn1]

Well if thats the case man, then its doomed. I mean really why lie even about height, its pathetic.

Anyhow, i realized recently that no matter where i go, my mind is always with me. I was thinking about moving away or something, but while i was on vacation, even if it was a short one, no matter where i would move, if i don't have things settled in my head, i could move to North pole and it wouldn't help.

 

Jesus, i can't stop myself from thinking that we ( me & ex ) have the same prefrences about moving out of country. But i guess if i want i can find million other similar stuff, but i won't.

 

Damn, i havent played a game in a while

[SSJlee28]

Damn.. so many hearts broken.

it's been day what... Day 5 now?

 

Day 5 since she told me she never wants me in her life, she never wants anything to do with me in the future.. She's moved on, and she blocked my number and facebook. Then she went to get drunk and be with her new guy. Few days later, she posts up pictures and changes profile pictures.

 

7 years relationship, and she moved on within a week. A truly caring, and selfless girl, turned into a selfish careless person. She's seen this type of things happen before, to my best friend. Same exact thing, and we helped him get through it. She knew how hard my best friend took his loss. Now, she's doing the same thing. What the eff.

 

yeah this new guy is taller than me, but I'm much better looking, and he looks so damn shady. he works at a bank, and I'm a medical student. Common!!@!@

 

Edit: You know, when i was going through this harsh break up.. I told my best friends that, you know, it would be easier for me to move on if she found another guy. i said that because I thought she loved me and couldn't let me go. I loved her and i couldn't let her go. But now.. even knowing that she has another guy, i am still in love with her, and it hurts even more. I regret saying that.

[g3m1nn1]

SSJlee, so she went from hero to zero, think of it that way ( i know Vanilla Ice movie reference, couldn't help it ).

People do some crazy stuff, especially the ones, that we have feelings for, but look at this way, this is probably she her seeking attention, rebound nothing else. I know it must be hard, but we gotta hang in there.

 

And here goes another Heineken...

 

Edit: So you said that in a heat of a moment. Dont sweat it...

[SSJlee28]

SSJlee, so she went from hero to zero, think of it that way ( i know Vanilla Ice movie reference, couldn't help it ).

People do some crazy stuff, especially the ones, that we have feelings for, but look at this way, this is probably she her seeking attention, rebound nothing else. I know it must be hard, but we gotta hang in there.

 

And here goes another Heineken...

 

Edit: So you said that in a heat of a moment. Dont sweat it...

 

Stupid heat of the moment comments lol. That's something I need to fix for my next relationships.

 

it sucks because both my ex and ex's best friend told me she truly wanted to be alone. Only to realize she is with someone else right now.

 

But you're right, she went from an angel when we broke up, telling me she will always love me, she will always cherish what we had, if we're meant to be we'll be together or a part of me will always want to be with you and she will always be attractive to me.... to a careless *****, telling me she never wants me ever again, she never wants a future with me.. then she moves on with another guy...

 

It's true though. Rebound relationships fly by so fast. They progress so fast. Just like what Njoy said, they will do everything at a hyperspeed.

[Karianne]

Day 9 of NC. I came to enotalone back in September. I was a hot mess. We got back together and after 7 months, here I am again. It's a new kind of pain. The kind of pain from realizing that things are done and over, for good.