THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[HoliPoli]

Last night was so bad because I kept dreaming about him. I dreamed that I read something he wrote word for word and the last sentence said "Stay calm, stop trying and let love happen." Sometimes he was so full of insight beyond his years. IDK. It was just a rough night and I barely slept. I don't understand why it's getting worse. It's like NC is literally breaking me down and I don't feel like it's helping, but I don't want to give up. This is someone I really want (I in NO WAY need him) in my life regardless of us being together or not, but I want to show him I'm serious and he can't use me for sex since he made the decision to leave me- he's got to live with it.

 

I'm so angry that these feelings just wont GO AWAY!

[lonelyheart2]

day 4 I miss him, I miss how I could be completely myself around him, I miss sharing things with my best friend

[Mariana123]

Day 7.

Our break up was almost a month ago. I want to be strong and do NC until he talks to me but I don't know if I should ask for my stuff back that it's still at his apartment. Maybe if he saw that I was ready to close our chapter he would realize he wants me? I hate that I still think about this kind of stuff.

[dobbin]

day 11

another sad day. i missed him alot. still love him.

i am being strong and staying away. no contact. not even tempted to contact him.

just see the relationship for what it was, not through rosy glasses but to accept the ugly truth that he never loved me and only strung me along to keep him company

great relationship eh? how stupidly bind was i?

lesson learned.

[brandnewday47]

End of day three, start of day four.

 

Weird day. A few times today I was seeing this as the opportunity to make major changes to my life in the next months or so. The other part I was kind of angry. I'm too old for this junk.

[BitterSweet12]

Day 6

 

Today I felt so irritable. I couldn't even wake up on time to go to school. I didn't have an appetite the entire day. My parent's would knock on my door with food to eat... but I couldn't even stuff it down. Somehow I miss him more than ever today. Tried to distracted myself by talking to other guys ( tried flirting or whatnot, but i don't care for it) I rather be doing those things with my ex. I miss him so much, and I sat in my room all day wondering (or hoping) for him to be thinking of me as well. I hope this get's easier....for I dont have enough strength for this.

[lonelyheart2]

Day 6 - This cold weather really isn't helping, keeps making me miss all the cuddling and cosiness of being 'in' a relationship. I miss your really warm cuddly jumper...I bet you are wearing it right now

[northpickle]

Day - not sure - not looking back but about 40ish

He has a new girlfriend, 3 months after splitting up, and has been flaunting it online for everyone to see in a way he never did with me. And he sent an email on Wednesday saying he can't be in touch with me any more. Even though we weren't in touch really. I'm struggling to get my head around it all and I'm wondering whether to break NC to say my final piece. It's all in my BU thread anyway , don't want to repeat myself but I've had some great support on this thread as well as my own so updating this one too.

 

Now our relationship seems like the biggest lie I have ever experienced. I did nothing to hurt him and he seems to be rubbing my face in things.

[lemonhaze]

Definitely don't send him anything after that mail.

[HoliPoli]

Day 11 I think since we spoke and day 9 since we texted.

 

Today I was EXTREMELY angry at him. I'm angry because he had the nerve to break up with me when I should have dumped his horrible butt long ago. I have nightmare after nightmare and it's so cruel. It's cruel to have to be the only one going through this type of grieving when he's off doing his thing and barely thinking of me at all. Part of me wants to confront him through email and get it all out there and really let him know how his screaming, name calling, insults, lies & EVERYTHING really hurt me. I feel this will help me heal and I don't even care if he ever reads it, I just want it out in the open. Then another part of me tells me to keep my mouth shut because it's for the best. I haven't decided what I will do, but I will at least wait until I am calmer so I can make a better decision. Maybe at the one month NC point.

 

His birthday is Monday and I have zero plans to acknowledge it in any way. I'm really hoping this helps me get the point accross because I just know he thinks I will cave and send a text or email but NO WAY!

[ryan2600]

Day 12 ----> Day 1

 

I should have known. Time to let everything collapse. A word to those doing NC, I just broke it after 11 days and it was a dumb move. Maybe it was a lose lose situation, but I returned a text from the ex just to see if there as a chance she changed her mind. I need to continue to build up my power and good feelings again. Need to keep the girl out of my mind

[Hastyhand]

Day 92.

it was exactly 3 months today.

 

Haven`t posted here for a month.

 

I am quite fully healed. Sometimes when thinking about her, then the toughts are indifferent..the feelings have been buried deep deep inside me.

I love the memories and the time we had, but at the moment it`s just far far away in the past.

 

Going to celebrate it tonight!

[somethngwrng]

Skype says day 19. Cool story.

[BitterSweet12]

Day 7

 

Thought about a lot today!!! wondering if a text or call would come through from him. I NEED MORE DISTRACTION OR SOMETHING TO KEEP MY BUSY!! so I offered to work weekends and more hours on the weekdays.

 

We share a netflix account together, and I find it hard not to check on what type of movies he's watching. I noticed that he is re-watching the movies that I have selected to watch. Makes me a little hopeful that he's not busy Drinking or out with his boys.

 

I miss him..... a lot.

[HoliPoli]

My anger was prohibiting me from living my daily life so I sent an email tonight airing out all the things I was angry about. It was extensive and I could care less if he 1) Gets it or 2) Reads it. I had to do it for me. I've read so much about not letting the ex know you're angry because it means that they're winning. It's not a game to me so I followed my heart and did what I thought best. Oh I know I will never receive a response and I'm OK with that. I honestly feel better having done this.

 

Maybe now i can finally rest well and not wake up multiple times a night crying or because of bad dreams. I do not want him back. I want to heal and forget the relationship and that he even exists. I still consider it NC although many of you wont because I did contact. But for me the contact was not verbal and does not include a reply so i'm sticking with my NC count.

 

This is my first "What was I thinking?"

[ryan2600]

Day 2

 

This morning was not as bad as it was in the beginning. No feeling of panic, no heartache or pain, and no tears (yet). I think it is time for the true healing to begin. Slept pretty well too, just woke up once in the middle of the night.

[AnnaN]

Day approx. 25, 6 weeks post BU, starting to see a difference

 

It's good I can't tell exactly what day is.

I feel more calm lately, I'd like him back but I am not that desperate, I am not that sad lately, I started to make plans that include only ME, so no one could destroy them this time.

I am thinking maybe I should do the Christmas trip we were planning to do together (with family). We broke up the day we were about to choose the destination, among three countries.

I definitely feel better. I don't want to be angry or miserable any more, I want to let it go in a positive way. I realise I can't control everything, I have stopped thinking about techniques and methods that could make him return.

[jeepman41]

Don't break NC just to rant one more time about him leaving you. I know it hurts you and I can tell by your words. Don't give him the satisfaction of hearing from you one last time. Nothing will change the current situation. Just remain NC until you have gotten stronger and moved past this period of your life.

[Mariana123]

Day 9.

 

Last week I broke NC and did LC for about 3days and started NC again when he said he might wanna see me this week. Well he didn't say anything until this morning. He texted me "I've been sick for the past weeks and I recently injured my arm. I didn't forget what I said last week". I don't know what to do. If I should just say "Get well soon" or call him (last time we spoke was when we BU - tomorrow it will be exactly 1month) to ask him what happened and see if he wants my help, since I'm a Pharmacist and whenever he or his family got sick I was the one he asked for help. If I text him back "Get well soon" I don't expect to get a text back and I care about him so I'll probably do that...

What do you think?

[Mariana123]

I texted him. I don't feel guilty because we only texted about his health, I didn't say anything about me so he knows as much as before, which is nothing.

We sent about 4 texts, and I told him what to do and wished him well. I didn't say anything about him wanting to see me. He then thanked me saying that he wished he had asked for my help sooner and sent me a kiss.

It's funny because I replied to his first text hours after he sent it and then he replied the next minute.

[lonelyheart2]

Day 6 Last night was the best night sleep I've had in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages, it may have been helped by the hot water bottle.....I've developed a terrible eye twitch..I think it's stress about work rather than the ex..think I might go to bed a bit early today so I can definitely handle tomorrow's stressful day and start my essays work for the holidays. Things are getting a bit better since the last contact. I think because he has broken nc now I don't feel the need so much.

[brandnewday47]

Days 5/6;

 

Was very irritable today. Very little patience for anything... tomorrow will be better. Decided that I'm going to be more proactive in healing this time around than the last time I was dumped. Not really sure how, but I don't plan on having a dark cloud linger for long.

[BitterSweet12]

Day 10

 

I thought about him today, but it wasn't too overwhelming. I had a great day at work and kept myself busy. I am picking up more hours tomorrow on my day off so I can distract myself from just sitting at home doing nothing.

[northpickle]

Don't break NC just to rant one more time about him leaving you. I know it hurts you and I can tell by your words. Don't give him the satisfaction of hearing from you one last time. Nothing will change the current situation. Just remain NC until you have gotten stronger and moved past this period of your life.

 

Thank you - I've calmed down a bit now from that post. I'm still hurt of course but I've decided that anger isn't the way to go. I'm going to try and let go with a smile, I think that will be the best way to move on. To wish him happiness from afar. I'm still trying to come to terms with our relationship, and that I wasn't always happy with him, wasn't always getting what i wanted but I adored him and wanted us both to be happy with each other, and I truly tried my best for that to happen.

 

But it didn't, he didn't want to try with me, he is now looking elsewhere for his happiness and that is what he wants to do and what is right for him at the moment. I know a new relationship in NOT what I am looking for right now and I must do what I need to to find my own happiness.

[Swift]

Day 16

 

The urge to contact or find out about her is strong.

 

The urge to move on is stronger.