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lemonhaze

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Everything posted by lemonhaze

  1. lemonhaze
    That's kind of messed up Liz, good luck with the challenge.
  2. lemonhaze
    Well I passed the 4 months of NC a couple of days ago, making very good progress lately! Something weird happened though.. I used to be on MSN Messenger a lot before I changed to Skype to talk to my friends. Last week I went back on MSN real quick to see if my speaking partner from Japan was online because I didn't have her on Skype yet, but she wasn't there. Today I checked again, and I suddenly get a message that my ex added me again. My first reaction was "huh?", then I just clicked it away and signed off again, didn't accept the request. If she wants to talk to me she will have to make some more effort than that. She probably just wants to be friends or something, I don't know, don't really care either. To all you other people, keep it up.
  3. lemonhaze
    I recently passed the 3 month mark of NC, not counting days anymore just months. Last night I went clubbing with some friends and on the train ride there we passed a town where my ex's dad lives and I recalled some memories of her and me on that station. At the party, the girlfriend of one of my friends asked if I talked to my ex, which I haven't (she was really helpful after the BU and I can really talk to her about it). She replied "Good." and I mumbled something like "Yeah.. I guess.". Then for some reason it just hit me, even though I've been reading it a lot on these forums the last months: I'm longing for someone that doesn't want to be with me. I didn't feel angry or sad, just... indifferent. After that I proceeded to have a pretty cool night. I'm sure in this rollercoaster of emotions I will probably be sad again sometime soon, but NC is helping me greatly with healing
  4. lemonhaze
    I think a lot of people here could be on speaking terms with their ex, we just choose not to.
  5. lemonhaze
    You have already lost her/him on the day that they broke up with you, accept that. There is no magical window of opportunity.
  6. lemonhaze
    Definitely don't send him anything after that mail.
  7. lemonhaze
    Yesterday was my birthday, and she couldn't even send me a happy birthday message. I was kind of expecting it since she hasn't made any contact whatsoever since the BU, but I still got angry about it. A setback in healing for me.
  8. lemonhaze
    3 months of NC now. Today kind of sucks, really want to talk to her, but I won't.
  9. lemonhaze
    It's been 38 days and you still haunt me in my dreams. I actually had a dream the night before this one where I rejected you after you tried to reconcile with me, but tonight was terrible. There were probably three different dreams where I tried to make you change your mind but nothing I said or did helped, just like during the breakup.. Waking up without you is so hard, how I miss you.
  10. lemonhaze
    Day 37. Keep getting the urge to contact her, I want to know what is going on in her head. Does she miss me? Does she still stand by her decision or is she having small doubts? The fact that she has not contacted me in all those days leads me to believe that she is still comfortable with her decision. I'm slowly getting stronger, but I still miss her a lot.
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