lonelyheart2 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Day 9 - I'm not really sure how i feel today, not good but not bad....I have noticed that I've been very irritable over the past couple of days. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my ex but I guess I should probably find out what it is and work on that....blame it on the hormones! Link to comment
Melting Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Day 2 I have awoken hating your guts, im so mad at you. I will see you at work today, the desire to punch you in the face is strong! Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I'm getting grumpier as the day goes on because I'm so mentally exhausted from all this. I wish I could take a break from it all and forget for a little bit. Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I am only doing the challenge for 7 days, I know its not very long but Im hoping by posting it here ill be faced with the embarrassment of breaking "only" 7 days and it will keep me from doing it. Plus after the 7 days are up and I have to go meet her Im likely to be back at day 1 on a new much longer no contact. Here we go! Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I am only doing the challenge for 7 days, I know its not very long but Im hoping by posting it here ill be faced with the embarrassment of breaking "only" 7 days and it will keep me from doing it. Plus after the 7 days are up and I have to go meet her Im likely to be back at day 1 on a new much longer no contact. Here we go! I think the smaller goals are a great start. I wish you the best of luck. If the reason you're going to meet her isn't necessary then cancel via text and say you have new plans but you can do it in another week. Don't give any other info and don't reply back if you should happen to get a response. Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Day 2 I have awoken hating your guts, im so mad at you. I will see you at work today, the desire to punch you in the face is strong! I was told or maybe I read that the anger stage is good. But i sure do know how you feel here. If my ex didn't live so far away I'm sure it would be messier. Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I think the smaller goals are a great start. I wish you the best of luck. If the reason you're going to meet her isn't necessary then cancel via text and say you have new plans but you can do it in another week. Don't give any other info and don't reply back if you should happen to get a response. We have been on a break since last monday but it didn't really happen as she called me and text me and I had to give her something in her work. Today I went and talked to her and we agreed that there would be no contact for a week and Sunday she will text me so we can meet up to talk again. Im staying negative. Hope is evil. Already started erasing her from my life. Just in case. Link to comment
HoliPoli Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I would like to believe in the power of positive thinking. I don't know how to be hopeless. Link to comment
dobbin Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Day 4 - failed ... back to Day 1 went over to start packing my stuff. thought your flight was last night. ended up talking to you. it was awful because you are the anger stage? i kept my cool, left and returned at a later (safer) time and packed my things. what a mess the place was when i came in (unexpected) but you managed to clean it up quite nicely before i come back. good effort. i will leave it in good shape when u get back. i wont take the ring regardless of all the interesting places you put it to catch my attention. Link to comment
minimini Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Day 3 - Woke up this morning thinking, "This crap could have been over like 2 months ago!" Back at the end of August, I had written him off. Basically wrote to him saying I wasn't going to write to him any more. I also remembered that I was actually doing great... Feeling great after I managed to stick with that for a whole month! It had actually gotten easier!! And then came the random message saying how much he couldn't stop thinking of me and how much loved me. Jerk (I would use a meaner word if I could)! That lead me to ask him if he wants to be Facebook friends again (just friends) and to him professing his love again but denying the Facebook friendship. I'm mad today! I could have been (mostly) over this already!!! Now I'm going into the holidays with him on my mind.... NOT FAIR!!! Everytime he writes to me, I feel obligated to write back. When I write to him, I want a reply from him... And so far, eventually it came. Which makes me feel obligated to write back. As of today, our last communication was on Thanksgiving, when I wrote to him and wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and told him (yes, stupidly) I was thankful for what we had (in a few more words than that). ;-) I'm debating if I should block him from my Facebook, so he can't write back. Break the cycle. I just don't know if I'm strong enough... I know it'll throw me into a whole new level of wondering all the time!!! I hate him. Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 The only way you are going to break this cycle is to go hard core NC and do it now. That means no text, email or any kind of communication. I know.....easier said than done. It's like a drug addict saying "I'm going to quit but I just need one more fix." And you are right, you could be over this but you keep giving in to temptation. Link to comment
hausser Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Day 212 wow, I thought I was doing well at 4.5 months lol. Still tough, have unblocked her on FB though as I was being overly hostile and feel I have healed enough to accept that she's in a new relationship (or not). Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 YES! Great idea. I'm glad I found this forum. She dumped me last Tuesday. Then.... T-2 to NC We traded leftover belongings at the old bus stop where we'd often meet downtown. We hugged, and parted ways. We joked a bit online, tried "Liking" each others statuses on Facebook, and I went to bed sad, empty, but hopeful of a friendship to continue. T-1 I woke up feeling terrible. I told her I couldn't do the "Liking" thing anymore, and she tersely agreed. No Contact began...though then I spent the rest of the day staring at her lack of FB updates. NC: Day 1 She started being active on FB again. NC failed. I watched her post about the most inane activites with rage and sadness, like an alcoholic watching endless tiny bottles of whisky fall crashing to the pavement. Start Over 1, Day 1 Immediately went back to FB stalking. Start Over 2, Day 1 Immediately went back to FB stalking, again. Tomorrow is Start Over 3, Day 1, and we work 15 feet from each other. Yikes.... Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Day 1 I didn't sleep much last night. I kept trying to not think of you which only left me frustrated and awake. I eventually got to sleep sometime after 3 and woke at 5. I hate myself today, I wish i had something to hate you for but all I can see is my own failings and all I have is guilt and hate for myself and a worry that if I don't get another chance to fix this and make it right I don't know how to live with the guilt. My new guitar arrived today. That I've been waiting for for weeks and been so excited for. I can't even open it or look at it. Its 9am and I'm in work and normally around now you would text me good morning and I'd ask how you slept. Worst part is this is my second day 1 and next week will be my third. Maybe I should refuse to meet you on Sunday and you can tell me by text. Link to comment
jeepman41 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Day 212 wow, I thought I was doing well at 4.5 months lol. Still tough, have unblocked her on FB though as I was being overly hostile and feel I have healed enough to accept that she's in a new relationship (or not). On Day 213 now. LOL! It does get easier as the days and weeks go by and the breakup begins to fade in time. I know I am not the same person as I was in the aftermath of the breakup. I've grown stronger and my feelings about the whole situation have changed. Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Keep getting Phantom vibrates on my phone and thinking its her. Driving me insane. Put phone away where I cant get it and removed her pictures from my wallet. I feel bad for doing that since we not broken up yet but I feel its necessary. Still cant get past the guilt of feeling I failed her and really want to make it up to her somehow but I dont know if there is anything I can do except hope she is brave enough to try again and work with me. I doubt she is though. Also feel embarassed Im feeling like this already, I made it last week without contacting her just the meeting on Sunday seems to have really messed me up. Link to comment
chrissyoh Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Ok so its day 1 for me, bit of a strange one, was a bit of distance involved, known each other for years after uni and finally hooked up, lasted 5 months, very good relationship, no arguments, she just struggled with the distance. We split a couple of weeks ago, went NC and she gets in contact a few days later... i respond, 4 days later same thing and we start talking, she says she is regretting it and still thinking about things, this went on for a week or so, got to the point where i said i cant do this weird not in a relationship but talking like we are in a relationship thing so went NC for 5 days, she tells me she misses me like crazy (2 ays ago) we talked last night about everything, seemed to be getting somewhere... until this morning when i get the just friends text.. of course i said no, we have sent each other some nice texts about it and us (i did tell her i'll never forgive her for not respecting me enough to talk to my face, text is so impersonal). Now im in NC but im doing this knowing there is no chance at getting back, i want to, but i know it wont happen, im definitely a half glass full kinda person and i'm relieved thatt after a few weeks of uncertainty i can start to put myself in recovery mode now, it hurts of course but it is her loss and she knows this, i know she will miss me loads too (there is comfort in that i find). Onwards and upwards for me, i will learn from this, time to mourn it for a few days and then go out and have some fun (contemplating whether to text an stalker to help me get over things quicker but i treasure my penis too much (she might cut it off) to do that)!! Good luck to everyone else going through the same thing. I'm welsh and we lost a great man in our country yesterday (Gary Speed RIP) and it emphasises how short life is! tough times dont last... tough people do!! Link to comment
northpickle Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 DAY 30!!! I've done it! A whole month of no contact! How do I feel...hmm...I feel fine I guess, but I didn't really struggle with strong urges to contact him like a lot of people do, mainly because I tried the friend thing and I knew it wasn't going to work. 3 months after splitting up, and I'm definitely on the right track with my healing. I do find it a bit sad that our relationship ended still, and that he's not in my life any more, that we're not spending time together like we used to. The connection, the chemistry, all those things (people will know what I'm talking about anyway...) It's odd being strangers really. But I'm fine with it, or at least I'm a lot less upset about it! Although I've known for a long time that he was to blame for the demise of our relationship as much as I was, I really don't know whether he personally thinks that deep down. I do love and miss him still, I won't lie. But I'm not pining any more. I'm not sure whether he will contact me again, he kind of left it up to me. A tiny part of me hopes he will get in touch, but I'm not contacting him. I'm doing pretty well on my own Link to comment
minimini Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm drinking to your success as a write! ;-) 30 days... WOW! I know that I did the 30 days before, NC as far as not writing to him or anything, but I was still stalking his social network profiles. This challenge has kept me from the stalking and I hope it makes all the difference! It's really weird being strangers, right? I totally know what you mean! It's weird to know that all the things that you shared are just gone.... or rather not being acted upon. Anyway... congrats again and keep it up!! It's good to read that there are people out there that have made it through without being totally crushed. Glad to know you are doing well on your own.... Link to comment
minimini Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 The only way you are going to break this cycle is to go hard core NC and do it now. That means no text, email or any kind of communication. I know.....easier said than done. It's like a drug addict saying "I'm going to quit but I just need one more fix." And you are right, you could be over this but you keep giving in to temptation. Hey jeepman41! It's precisely why I'm here! I really am on the "I need one more fix" wagon! I could have and would have been totally done with this topic, even WITH all the social profile stalking I was doing during the month that I didn't contact him AT ALL. ;-) It's partially his fault for writing me that totally loving message back then, but more my fault for giving in to it. Anyway, I hope being in the forum gives me the strength to not give in to temptations! Here's hoping! ;-) Link to comment
Scuza Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 You should really un-friend her and possibly even block her from Facebook. It makes it a lot easier, I can vouch for that. Oh, and congratulations, northpickle! cheers to the success to come! Link to comment
chrissyoh Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 You should really un-friend her and possibly even block her from Facebook. It makes it a lot easier, I can vouch for that. Completely agree with this, for 2 reasons, firstly it stops you from knowing what they are doing so gives you more control over NC (we've all had that moment where we have seen a comment on facebook and instantly reacted without thinking) and secondly, as much as you will wonder what they are up to, they will be wondering the same and start to be inquisitive and anxious that they don't know what you are up to! i have have completely taken myself off facebook and even though i know i won't get back with my ex it will help me heal a lot quicker and oneday maybe cos i've not said anything stupid and i might wanna be friends again it can be achievable Link to comment
northpickle Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm drinking to your success as a write! ;-) 30 days... WOW! I know that I did the 30 days before, NC as far as not writing to him or anything, but I was still stalking his social network profiles. This challenge has kept me from the stalking and I hope it makes all the difference! It's really weird being strangers, right? I totally know what you mean! It's weird to know that all the things that you shared are just gone.... or rather not being acted upon. Anyway... congrats again and keep it up!! It's good to read that there are people out there that have made it through without being totally crushed. Glad to know you are doing well on your own.... Oh, and congratulations, northpickle! cheers to the success to come! Thank you both very much - and good luck to both of you on your journey As weird as being strangers is, and although the break-up wasn't horrible (I mean, it was for me, but it was as calm and orderly as I could have wished as a whole) and there are still feelings there for both of us, I still think we need more time apart, sad to say But I'm doing fine and that's what matters! Link to comment
Blueleaf Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Gratz Northpickle, I've really pleased for you! People can go months without getting as mentally far as you have. It's great to hear Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Day 10 = I feel really encouraged by everyone's posts on here, well done northpickle!!! I hope I can do the same! Link to comment
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