THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Joanne19852010]

I'm going to see my ex tomorrow and Tuesday because we have to finalize some things...tomorrow i'm going to talk to him and ask for him to be honest then Tuesday i'm going to start no contact and sort myself out...i feel lonely and complain that i'm alone but i have friends asking me to go out like last night and i say no...once Tuesday comes i can start doing what i have planned in my head...i'm not going to tell my ex about no contact...i'm just going to delete his number from my phone and take down all pictures and reminders of our relationship...i feel very determined at the moment that i'm going to do this but i know after a few days its going to be very hard...i just need to try and keep myself busy and find a job...i've noticed that when i have a busy day i don't txt him but when i'm alone i do...my sister has said i need to start going out with her on a saturday night and i want to...its just the idea of meeting someone and after nine years with my ex its going to take a long time to get to that level with someone else and that seems quite daunting at the moment...so even though i'm lonely i'm going to focus on myself..i'm still kidding myself at the moment that my ex will come back...i will start no contact Wednesday and see how i go.

[RitaTrue]

Day 74

 

For a few days, I pondered on whether to call my ex or not, but then I had a dream about 2-3 nights ago.

 

I dreamed I broke NC, called him, and we met face to face. But the horrible thing happened: During the conversation, my feelings resurfaced. But, even then, he himself was completely removed and cold, even though he knew I still cared for him. The dream hinted that he felt this way because he was just FINALLY starting to do what he should've started doing a long time ago--start moving on himself. But since he was so cold to me, I felt weak and regretful.

 

Then, the dream ended. I felt it was a warning. To stay in NC a little while longer.

[somethngwrng]

I have been in LC with her.. only conversing about getting my stuff back, which is supposed to happen tomorrow. Last few times I've talked to her she has started flirting with me a bit which I have flat out ignored. She claimed she was very hurt I blocked her from Facebook etc... but I explained already that I just don't want to be led on again and if I am not in contact with her then it's impossible for her to do that.

 

It makes me feel a lot stronger ignoring any kind of friendly/flirty advance and telling her that we shouldn't see each other, period. Almost as if I have gained some control of the break up and it is now completely mutual.

[somethngwrng]

I have been in LC with her.. only conversing about getting my stuff back, which is supposed to happen tomorrow. Last few times I've talked to her she has started flirting with me a bit which I have flat out ignored. She claimed she was very hurt I blocked her from Facebook etc... but I explained already that I just don't want to be led on again and if I am not in contact with her then it's impossible for her to do that.

She flipped out at me today and called me "annoying" after I sent her a polite reminder message asking if she would give it back today (she asked me to send the reminder). Said I have been horrible to her even though she tried to "connect" with me.

 

Not happening today, no date set. Will not ask again for 2 weeks or have any form of contact since I run the risk of talking to her while she is PMSing. Walking on eggshells big time, lol.

[tujna]

Here we go again - day 2. God, please help me, the way you have helped me so many times.

[madine]

Day 40

 

Feel bad, just saw her new FB profile pic flash by. She looks so cute

[In the Midst]

Day 43- Feel So so.

 

Still thinking of her just not as much. Dont want to see her. Thank God I haven't.

[Aleina2011]

Day 2 (again)

 

this time it's for good. Been thinking some positive things. Will post a new thread soon. Feel stronger. Had a good day with only a couple of times where I felt depressed. Life is good, I can do this. I hold the power now.

[Tomuch2hope]

Surprized to see me still hanging in, despite my posting lately. Going to hang on in there until I have all my crap sorted....

[lonelyheart2]

Ok so I just started a whole thread about should I say happy birthday to my ex on thursday and NO can't believe I was even considering it!! He dumped me four months ago! If he wants me HE has to come and get me no way am I chasing that ass nuh uh I'm awesome and he is seriously missing out GO ME I really hope I still feel like this on thursday...............................

[mecastillo1987]

I miss you so much.

[marshallmog]

I last spoke to him on the 16th october 2011... he last txt me.. (he txt me a joke a dirty joke).. 2 days ago.. i didnt reply with LOL or anything... but i will consider this as DAY 1... have had a bad day today.. missed him alot.. missed us.. but went out bought paint and breakfast bar.. getting it fitted for my halloween party on saturday.. going to spend this week painting my kitchen.. putting up shelves... buying new bar stools.. then decking out the house.. i make it look so spooky and cool.. then im going to find my sexy devil costume to wear... all my friends and some new whom i havent met yet cant wait for my annual shindig... so i have that to look forward too... Hes missed a couple of my halloween parties before in the 7 years we been together because of our break ups that we had so its not like i will miss him being there so much.. He always seemed to home in on anniversaries christmas boxing day or birthdays to decide to have a row.. dont know why that is... but will post again soon... Love to all of u who are suffering too x x

[tujna]

Day 3

 

Definitely today I felt better than yesterday. I really need to let him go this time. How can this be so hard? I was feeling so close to finding our love again but, again, it wasn't meant to be. But maybe it is much better this way - now we both will have our own time to make decisions about the future and move forward with them. If I have to move on, then I really have to do it now.

[Aleina2011]

DAY 3

 

Still going strong.

[lonelyheart2]

Day three it's his birthday tomorrow I will not say happy birthday!!!! I'm hopefully meeting up with a friend who I haven't seen for ages which will hopefully distract me from him....on the upside I do think I am a bit better than I was..........still a long road to recovery but something definitely feels a bit better...I feel a bit that even if he did want to reconcile with me now I feel stronger to not just immediately reply to him and tell him I love him just like that....I think I feel like my self-worth is coming back in small doses

[loulou37]

My god!! day 8!! never thought i'd do it...it's not got any easier, still the urge burns right through to my soul, but i've done it and i will continue, even if it kills me!...poor sod really lost out on something good ;-)

 

loulou x

[tujna]

Day 4

 

Already feeling so much better, thank you God! It is nice to distance yourself, even a few days make a huge difference - I am back on track to being myself again. Let us hope it is going to be mostly uphill from now on - I really need to move ahead with my life! Everything related to him pulls me back into the pain - it is simply not worth it. If it can never be the way it used to be, why struggle so much to achieve it.

[cheriex333]

Blah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tomuch2hope]

Have to fess up to making contact.... :sorrow:

 

All the way back to day 0... on the up side, day 1 starts tomorrow

[Aleina2011]

DAY 4

 

Ups and downs...morning & day fine, evening not so good...

[Cityslick]

I accept your challenge!

 

From the issues and the response to my thread : "She left me, then a week later she got a new boyfriend, possible to reconnect?​" I feel it is time to finally let go. My ex got me off to a decent head start, she blocked me from her FB page and defriended MY friends so I couldn't get sneaky and take a peek. I last told her that I would still call her next week but that would be uneccessary and nothing would change or be resolved. I've already deleted her number and all of her family/friends' numbers too.

 

*Day 1*

 

Showed extreme weakness by my past reactions to her however its like nowadays I'm always finding something new to be upset about. Try to focus on other things but it's hard to take my mind off the situation. Trying to regain control. A little upset that it took a month after the break-up for me to see all the clingyness and pushing away I've done. Even when I implement the NC rule for some reason I still feel the urge to contact her and be like "I'm not calling you anymore!" just so she can talk to me, but I've made that mistake already so forget about that happening again. Don't know what to think siometimes. Probably gonna write a lot these next 30 days...

[resmarted]

Back on Day 3 after she contacted me asking how I was doing..

 

It was 24 days NC before that.

[tujna]

It was a hard day. It is hard not to think about it. I miss him. I had a nice night but now I again started obsessing. I read Questioning NC thread and it always helps me. Not because I doubt NC, but because it gives such good advice on moving on and letting go of expectations. I really want to do it this time. I want to be at one month mark, I really hope things will have settled by then.

[Aru]

Day 1.

 

I feel heartbroken. I feel guilty. I feel awful. I just don't know why he's dating a new girl and telling me he misses me and that he is going to regret it. I don't know why he says he only compares us and can't be happy now. I've been crying all night and haven't slept. I realized I haven't slept well since August. I deserve better. I deserve to be happy, and I want to achieve it. I know it will be tough, but I'll really try it.

[Bronxtigeraso]

BU:Sept 2nd

Last time I heard a word from her was Sept 2nd. She is giving me the silent treatment.

Last time I ever tried reaching out to her was Sept 16th. I have been NC ever since that date.

 

Day 42

I started to stop missing you little by little by around day 30. But recently I'm starting to miss you more then ever.

I'm at work thinking of you. At my house thinking of you. Now with halloween coming up I can only imagine the fun youll be having and the loneliness ill be having.

I always wonder til this day. Do you even miss me? Do you think of me? Is there someone else? I love you dearly. Why cant you just come back into my arms?

My birthday is almost here on Nov 10th and even that ill spend alone Thinking of breaking NC very soon...