THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[kennyc90]

Day 14

 

Today, was a very emotional day. I drafted up an email to her. I wrote my feelings about her and how I was always there for her in the toughest times. The only things was, I didn't send that email. I just wanted to write it out. It felt good. If I sent that email, it's back to square one. I was in such an emotional state of mind that I couldn't help but to write how much I miss her and love her. I went to the gym right after. I felt great afterwards and now I'm preparing to go to bed. I hope I don't get anymore close calls like that. Work tomorrow!!! Arrgghh lol work sucks.. -.-'

[kennyc90]

ok I am going to give this a try. I guess day 1 is tomorrow because I had a break-up/closure meeting and conversation with the ex today. I am going to sign up for yoga. Wish me luck

 

I wanna try yoga. I heard it was very relaxing.

[Rally]

ok I am going to give this a try. I guess day 1 is tomorrow because I had a break-up/closure meeting and conversation with the ex today. I am going to sign up for yoga. Wish me luck

 

Good luck .

[C_Unknown2005]

Beginning of day 4

Have alot of test this week, had dreams about her but nothing out of the ordinary. Still check my phone but, i know she will not call. lets just get through today.

[perio]

I would love to have some input please.

It will be just over two months this Mon (in one week). I am planning on calling the ex to let her know that the well-being if her and her family will be in my thoughts and that I know how special this holiday season will be for her and that I hope its a wonderful one. Her sister is dying of cancer and as of 2 months ago going downhill quickly. I'm doing well and am not secretly hoping that this will amount to anything but allowing for an open door for further contact. Although I sincerely mean the sentiments, I am hoping that we keep in touch so as to allow for a possible reconciliation in the future. I hoping for an extended period of healthy limited contact.

 

If I keep it brief and ask no questions, do you think its a reasonable thing to do?

 

Thank you

[SameStory221]

Starting Day 1

Woke up and just wanted to talk to him. Wrote for therapy with no intention of sending it, just for piece of mind. I keep going over our conversation yesterday in my head. Him telling me that he wants to see me in 2 weeks if he gets the night off said something right? I am not sure if I opened the door for discussion yesterday and I am stopping contact with him too soon. When I asked him if he thought our relationship was too broken to fix and he said he didn't think that it made me wonder if we could just start talking and work it out in some way. I have decided no contact for me means not updating my FB status so that he can't see what I am doing. I can't bring myself to delete him seeing as I am friends with most of my exes it didn't seem right.

Thank god I can work from home today. I feel more screwed up than I did when it first happened. The issue is something with him because he keeps telling our friends that he just didn't feel like himself around me. Feels and sounds like a cop out and "grass is greener" to me. I want to give him space and time but, at the same time I don't want him to think that I have shut the door on him completely. He asked yesterday for my friend's number so I just told my friend that he wanted to talk to him and let it be. I thought I could be stronger about this. Now I am just confused more. This sucks.

[blueberrypie]

Day 14

 

I still want to call him and just talk to him...

[C_Unknown2005]

Mid day 4

Had class we locked eyes and said not a single thing to one another for our classes... In lab we sat on opposite sides of the class room she didn't look at me i didn't look at her... So awkward... I had a beer with my professor and just talked to him about life, he asked how we were doing and i told him the whole ordeal, and he just told me to walk away from her... Some Good advice I received today...

[Rally]

I think you should post this in a new thread!

[Rally]

Day 5

 

Bad day, skipped class cause I feel like * * * * .

 

Have to write a paper.

 

Lol my phone has been off for 5 days.. I am so afraid to turn it on to see no message from her or worse.. a message from her talking about nothing.

[C_Unknown2005]

End of day 4

Im just relaxing watching family guy and finishing physics homework and just trying to get through the day. I'm starting to accept this more, and it is her choice if she wanted to be with me. I don't have the urge to contact her anymore, i dont check my facebook as much because i hid all her friends, she's not making time for me now so im not going to waste my time. This is the hardest thing i have ever done. And tomorrow morning is going to be interesting.

 

Good night everyone.

[Griffey]

Day 38 or something.

 

Having a bad day, have been feeling better recently though.

[perio]

Thank you for your suggestion Rally. I think it is an appropriate question given the fact that the 749 pages of this thread contains many questions such as the one I asked. I didn’t see anything in the rules either that forbids such a question. I could be mistaken of course.

So I ask the question again. Does anyone have any thoughts? I read all your postings. I would appreciate some input if you care to offer it. I don’t want to hijack a thread. So if anyone would care to message me, perhaps that would be a less disruptive avenue.

Thank You

[lostgirlaus]

Day 15 of NC

 

I've had it. I don't want this anymore. Everything reminds me of you... I'm sitting here crying my eyes out while you're out partying with other girls...

[kennyc90]

Day 15

 

I had an awful day at work today. Too much BS. I decided to go for a long run after I got off work. That run was what I needed. It felt great. I decided that I'm gonna try to sleep early from now on. I'll try to make that into a habit. It's something that I never done before and besides, your body needs a lot of adequate sleep when you push your muscles to it's full potential.

 

Goodnight fellas.

[tujna]

On to day 20

 

NC not a problem anymore. This time I am in it for the long haul. At least 5-6 months or forever or until he initiates or I have a compelling reason to respond. I know I can easily do at least 3-4 months. I have nothing to lose anymore, I did my best, I waited 14 months and I tried again. If I have moved on and he returns, it will not be my fault. Life has to go on. Seni seviyorum ama mumkun degil.

[rk110]

Thank you for your suggestion Rally. I think it is an appropriate question given the fact that the 749 pages of this thread contains many questions such as the one I asked. I didn’t see anything in the rules either that forbids such a question. I could be mistaken of course.

So I ask the question again. Does anyone have any thoughts? I read all your postings. I would appreciate some input if you care to offer it. I don’t want to hijack a thread. So if anyone would care to message me, perhaps that would be a less disruptive avenue.

Thank You

 

I don't think you're being disruptive or inappropriate. Maybe Rally thought you'd get a better response with your own thread.

 

You and I are around the same timeframe with the NC. I'm actually on Day 77 now. Whew. I know when I got to the two-month mark, I started feeling a little panicked. This is when the chances get better for contact, right? And when they don't contact you at that time, you start feeling like you have to do something different. Like have contact. Keep reading, and you'll see that a lot of posts say 3-5 months. That might get you through the next month, all to face the same feelings and questions again then.

 

I'm sorry, I don't really remember your story, but I remember thinking there were some similarities with your situation and mine. Was there a rebound involved? If so, I guess I would highly advise against any contact.

 

I think people here will generally tell you to stick with NC, regardless of the situation. When she cut you out of her life, she took you out of her support system. If you cared about your ex's sick sister prior to the break-up, she will remember that as one of the positive things about you. In other words, it's something she can actually MISS about you. If she misses it, then maybe she will want that back. No matter how true your intentions are, your ex will likely see this as an attempt to get back into her life. Are you prepared to deal with the rejection from her? It seems to me that you had mentioned this in a post on someone else's thread and advised them against contact, for the very same reason that everyone here would probably advise you against contact. No contact, no new hurts. Being 77 days out, I can honestly say I would not be able to deal with any type of rejection, and that is what keeps me in NC.

 

All that being said.... you know your ex better than anyone, just as I know mine better than ANYONE. I will do something, someday, even if he isn't receptive. But it will not be while my emotions are still in a vulnerable state. So check your emotions, and proceed with caution!

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 42.

 

6 weeks. Not sure what I'm accomplishing.

[blueberrypie]

Day 15

Still miss him deeply. Just want to send him a love letter. Just want to hit ctrl+Z.. Only if the life is that simple...

 

I feel crazy, because one moment I want to send him a love letter, and the next minute, I just want to get over with it and just starting to date. I was looking at the speed-dating website. I know it is too soon, but I want this pain to go away... What would be harm in looking around when he is not coming back anyways?

[blueberrypie]

Agonizing: I know how you feel...what I am thinking...

[BE90]

Middle of day 3

 

I've been talking to some girls that I go to school with and I even got one's number. She's pretty cute so I might try to hang out with her some. Just talking about the whole situation to someone helps me. They all agree what she did was messed up. It's getting a little easier for me but I still think about it all the time. I guess it's because I had been trying to distance myself and she was practically begging for me to talk to her and I JUST started to get feelings back when a few days later she dates this guy. I guess I'm accepting it more. I'm still pissed that it seemed to mean nothing to her. After 2 years and I wanted some time and she could wait for me... well I even said I wanted to get back together after all that begging and she still chose the new guy.

[deecbee]

Also in the middle of day 3. But it feels like 300

 

This is the longest I think we've gone without talking since our long break in the summer. I have been doing most of the initiating of texting/emailing, etc and even though he wants to be friends, I'm tired of being the only one who seems to care. Besides, he just got dumped by his rebound, and I'm not interested in being the rebound of his rebound, or his shoulder to cry on, or his punching bag to take his anger out on.... uhh NO.

 

Kind of annoys me that he hasn't reached out to me but whatever. I'm not giving in this time. I am fully prepared to move forwards.

[deecbee]

Day 5

 

Bad day, skipped class cause I feel like * * * * .

 

Have to write a paper.

 

Lol my phone has been off for 5 days.. I am so afraid to turn it on to see no message from her or worse.. a message from her talking about nothing.

 

Haha, I thought I was the only one that did that! I'll leave my phone at home all day, or off for the entire weekend so that I don't have to *obsess* over whether he texted me or not, but then I get too scared to turn it on! It literally makes me sick, waiting there watching my phone get a signal as it turns on.... and then my stomach drops when I see I got a text, but from my cell phone company reminding me to pay my bill or something It's almost easier to have the phone all the time and check it every two seconds.

[C_Unknown2005]

This was my Day 5

 

Im going to work... Then waking up for more drama.

[forinstance872]

hi everyone .. new here .. if only i read all these posts a month ago ..i ve done all the wrong things .. crying , begging , pleading, round the clock texts , surprise visits .. i m so ashamed of my behaviour . eventually she called me a pest and threatened to change her number... im just totally heartbroken... so its day one of no contact ... god i feel such a fool and she must think me such a wimp ... any one identify with this