SameStory221

Day 3 Going to occupy myself with my friends that are coming from out of town for the show. Got really drunk and saw Medeski, Martin, and Wood last night, oops. Lame that he doesn't seem to care. Single people must put off a different vibe because the guys wouldn't leave me alone. Though an ego boost, I refuse to drag anyone down and I am certainly not ready for anything like that. We were supposed to go to a friend's wedding reception and then to the show tonight. I hear he is still going alone to the reception. Hope he has fun, I really hope it makes him realize something about commitment and respect. I know everyone is all about getting over it and moving on...I think some point you will be back. Either way surrounding myself with the love of my friends and family tonight. Hope you don't show up.

Day 2 Of Starting all over again. I wish it mattered to you that I am not there. Distraction tonight with work it's a shame because you would really dig this show. All of the friends coming from out of town starting Friday afternoon which will provide some distraction. I wish you hadn't said you would show up to that. Now I am going to have to spend all night looking over my shoulder just to keep you at a distance. It's not like these were your friends, why are you trying to stay in my life if you want to run away?

Starting over...Day 1 When I saw him he asked me to send photos from our Florida trip with his family so, I did so last night. I sent him a message along with the photos that said: For what it's worth, I miss you. Seeing how happy we were killed me. It would be easier if I could find something wrong with us other than you scared yourself into thinking that you were losing something by being in this. I know I can't make you ready. Your fear cost us something great. I know you are feeling it because you are posting things on your FB that only I would understand. If you miss me too why did you do this. Another song that I love today...Gut wrenching. Continuing to try and get past this and move on. A ton of out of town friends coming this weekend. That should help.

Starting Day 1 Woke up and just wanted to talk to him. Wrote for therapy with no intention of sending it, just for piece of mind. I keep going over our conversation yesterday in my head. Him telling me that he wants to see me in 2 weeks if he gets the night off said something right? I am not sure if I opened the door for discussion yesterday and I am stopping contact with him too soon. When I asked him if he thought our relationship was too broken to fix and he said he didn't think that it made me wonder if we could just start talking and work it out in some way. I have decided no contact for me means not updating my FB status so that he can't see what I am doing. I can't bring myself to delete him seeing as I am friends with most of my exes it didn't seem right. Thank god I can work from home today. I feel more screwed up than I did when it first happened. The issue is something with him because he keeps telling our friends that he just didn't feel like himself around me. Feels and sounds like a cop out and "grass is greener" to me. I want to give him space and time but, at the same time I don't want him to think that I have shut the door on him completely. He asked yesterday for my friend's number so I just told my friend that he wanted to talk to him and let it be. I thought I could be stronger about this. Now I am just confused more. This sucks.

ok I am going to give this a try. I guess day 1 is tomorrow because I had a break-up/closure meeting and conversation with the ex today. I am going to sign up for yoga. Wish me luck