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lostgirlaus

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  1. lostgirlaus
    I spoke to him 5 days ago about getting my money back and he said he transferred and it would take awhile since there would be bank holidays. He texted me today and asked if I had recieved it. I said yes, and he texted back saying he was just making sure and I said it was fine. He replied with a "np". It just seems like an excuse to text me... I wanted to text him back and ask how his xmas was but I didn't. I still miss him so much. It's been nearly 2 months since the break up, and no, it doesn't get any easier. It's so much harder around the holiday season and if we were still together, it would have been our 1 year in 3 days. I miss and love you so much baby, but I know I did the right thing.
  2. lostgirlaus
    I have no idea what day I'm at anymore... I broke up with him 7 weeks ago, and in that time I broke NC twice. I never really felt bad about breaking NC because I wasn't doing anything stupid like begging and asking him to come back. I was straight forward with what I wanted which was my money back which he owed me. I messaged him again today reminding him that he had said he'd pay me today and that I expected it in my account by the end of the day. For the past few days I can't help but miss him so much. It was this time last year we first started talking, it's the holiday season and I feel so alone. In a week it would have been our 1 year. We would have been going away for our anniversary. Instead I'm going with a girl friend. Sighh I hate this and I miss him so much
  3. lostgirlaus
    Day 5 of NC It was exactly one month ago that I broke up with him. I've given up hope of him ever coming back I don't think about him to such extreme extent anymore.
  4. lostgirlaus
    Day 2 of NC I'm glad I spoke to him yesterday if I hadn't it would always be in the back of my mind "what if...". I don't regret it at all still and don't feel like I'm back at square one. I feel like I'm at day 27 like I should have been anyway. Though I do still miss him, I'm not depressed about it anymore. I still keep wishing he'd come back like he did last time I suppose since it's happened once I keep thinking it'll happen again...
  5. lostgirlaus
    Day 1 of NC (Should be 26) I just broke NC. I asked him to come on the trip with me since we're both paying for it. He said he'd get back to me. I don't regret breaking NC but I just wish I could go back a couple of months and make things work...
  6. lostgirlaus
    Day 25 of NC All I can say is wow. I cannot believe I have made it 25 days without speaking to him. It seems so surreal. I still don't feel like the whole break up real. I still keep hoping we'll get back together one day even though it isn't something that's for the best... It hurts when I see other couples, or when I do things/go places with friends where I have been with him. Everywhere I look, something or other reminds me of him...
  7. lostgirlaus
    Day 18 of NC I'm still on the rollercoaster. I miss him in my life... I'm so close to breaking NC but not because I want to get back together but because I want my money back lol
  8. lostgirlaus
    Day 15 of NC I've had it. I don't want this anymore. Everything reminds me of you... I'm sitting here crying my eyes out while you're out partying with other girls...
  9. lostgirlaus
    Day 14 of NC I need advice guys! I'm thinking of breaking NC and speaking to him about the trip we had planned. I've tried everything... I can't change the name on the ticket or get a refund/exchange either. He said he'd pay me back, I'm thinking of contacting him and asking if we could be civilized adults on go on it together since we both lose money otherwise. I'm pretty sure he will say no, but you never know until you try, true? Is it too earlier after the break up? I'm thinking of asking to meet in person for this, that way I can give him his stuff back too...
  10. lostgirlaus
    When I began NC, I looked at his page for the first 3 days but it gradually got less, on the 4th day I wasn't even tempted to look at it. Today (13th day of NC) was the first day I looked at his page, I also looked at pictures from his brother's wedding that were on his step sister's page (we're still friends) and I didn't feel anything. It was just a test and I passed.
  11. lostgirlaus
    Day 13 of NC Sighh it's only the morning and I already feel like * * * * . I feel like crying, something I haven't done since about day 3 or so. I miss him so much and wish he was here with me... I miss knowing I have someone there for me when I need them, someone to talk to, someone whose shoulder I can cry one, someone to give me hugs when I'm low. There go the waterworks... I might be having a friend over later, so hopefully he can cheer me up a bit.. This is going to be a long day
  12. lostgirlaus
    Day 12 of NC I went interstate the other with my best friend who won a competition and we both saw a band. I had fun and didn't miss him, but I kept talking about him. I can't help it, it feels like all my memories, everything I have to say is some how related to him. I notice that I'm doing it but I can't stop either. Came back home yesterday and then saw another mate, didn't miss him at all yeserday. Now it's Saturday afternoon and I'm home all alone. I know tonight will be hell because we always spent the weekends together and I'll be alone tonight. I hate this. I hate that I keep thinking he will call me. He still hasn't contacted me about getting his stuff back, I'm not sure he even will because last time he never came and got it. He also still owes me money, I heard he lost his job but I want my money back too. I'm considering breaking NC to ask for my money back or at least give him a few weeks deadline to get it back to me. I don't know though... I think I'll feel even worse if I do
  13. lostgirlaus
    End of day 9 of NC I miss him. A lot. It has suddenly struck me that I'm alone. I feel so empty and alone... He was such a major part of my life for the past 10 months. I know I was fine before he came into my life so I should be fine now too, but it's so hard to go back to that now. I found myself constantly thinking about him today, which I haven't done since the first few days. I miss him but it's not a heart wrenching kind of feeling. Just sad and lonely. I promised myself I will not cry. I heard from his step sister last night that he got sacked, I can't stop thinking about how I should be there for him in this time of need but then I remember how he was never there for me. Never there to console me and tell me it will be ok. Sighh..
  14. lostgirlaus
    Day 8 of NC Started off the day great just like past few days. I went on Facebook and was on a mutual friends profile when I saw him on their friend list. I haven't checked his Facebook for 4 days but i saw he had a new profile pic from his brothers wedding this past weekend. I felt a pang of something, I'm not even sure what... But now I feel like I'm back at square one. My good mood of the past few days is gone But in other news my mate won a competition to go interstate to see a band on Thursday and is taking me, so that should be good
  15. lostgirlaus
  16. lostgirlaus
    End of day 6 of NC Yesterday ended up being great, I was fine the whole day and wasn’t even tempted to check his fb page once! Today has been great too. I went to visit my grandparents with mum and ended up having dinner there with my cousin and his parents. It was good to get out of home and have some sort of distraction. I didn’t check his fb today either, which is two days in a row! I saw he liked something on a mutual friend’s page and didn’t feel anything as opposed to when I saw he liked something a couple of days ago and went into a panic frenzy. I still miss him, but I find myself not thinking about him for longer and longer periods. I also no longer sit around crying over him I’m dreading tomorrow though; it’ll be a whole week since we broke up. What I'm dreading even more is the day he'll contact me to get his stuff back, I don't want to go back to square one
  17. lostgirlaus
    Day 5 I'm scared to say this in case I "jinx" it but I feel fine today. I didn't wake up crying, haven't thought about all the memories we shared together, haven't thought about how much I miss him and I haven't even checked his fb page yet! You might even go as far as saying I feel good. Really good. Then again, it could just be one of those rollercoaster things again that I've been going through for the past few days. Last night I had a friend over who I was planning on hooking up with last time my ex and I broke up, but incidentally my ex showed up on my door step the night before our date. He and I stopped talking for the 2 and a half months my ex and I got back together for. The other day I contacted him to see how he was and we began talking again, it seemed like we started where we had left off. He came over last night but it seemed we weren't both on the same page and he tried to pull some moves on me. This lead to me saying no and him leaving. Later last night I realized what an idiot I had been for not seeing the signs. I'm pretty sheltered and naive, those things just don't occur to me until someone points them out. I had a very long chat with a guy who has now become my best friend. He is such an amazing guy, he was there through out my rocky relationship with my ex helping me with advice and support. He acted more the part of the boyfriend than my ex ever did, making time for me and calling me at odd hours if I needed him. I feel that moving on might not be so hard when I have such a great friend along side me
  18. lostgirlaus
    I've been thinking about it for a looooong time, but never gotten around to it. If in a week if I still feel like this I will
  19. lostgirlaus
    I've come to that conclusion too
  20. lostgirlaus
    Day 4 of NC I feel dead. I've gone back to not sleeping properly again, I thought I was over that yesterday. Going to the city yesterday was a bad idea, it triggered SO many memories. Of our first date, valentines, all the times I went to see him etc. I feel weak and I'm not sure how much longer I can do this now. I don't feel like doing anything ever and the smallest and stupidest things make me cry, eg my dog trying to get my attention. I wish I could see him, hold him and just cry my heart out. This is going to be a looooong journey.
  21. lostgirlaus
    Day 3 of NC Decided not to post yesterday, and try to keep myself occupied, didn’t really work too well. I’ve noticed for the past few days, even before we broke up anytime I hear my dog barking I immediately assume he has come over to talk things out with me. I then scold myself for even thinking that because I know he won’t and I shouldn’t get my hopes high for no reason. Mum told me this morning that this was the first night in a couple of nights where I hadn’t cried or talked while asleep. I also slept in a bit this morning, which is hasn’t been happening for the past 2 or so weeks. I’m going out to see a friend and go shopping today, so hopefully that will keep my mind off things but he seems to creep up in my thoughts no matter what I do. The fact that I don’t work or go to school just makes it worse because I have so much free time. Deleting him off facebook and msn has also helped a fair bit, I no longer find myself constantly stalking though I do wonder if he has deleted me off msn too... The mornings are bad but the evenings are worse Been listening to Taylor Swift for the past few days and it’s just making it worse but for some reason I can’t stop either. “Come back come back come back to me like You would you would if this was a movie Stand in the rain outside til I came out Come back come back come back to me like You could you could if you just said you're sorry I know that we can work it out somehow But if this was a movie you'd be here by now” (Taylor Swift – If this was a movie) “Oh, a simple complication Miscommunications lead to fall out So many things that I wish you knew So many walls up I can't break through ..... And I'm dying to know Is it killing you Like it's killing me? I don't know what to say Since a twist of fate When it all broke down And the story of us Looks a lot like a tragedy now ..... I liked it better when you were on my side The battle's in your hands now But I would lay my armor down If you'd say you'd rather love than fight” (Taylor Swift – Story of us) “I'm sick and tired of your attitude I'm feeling like I don't know you You tell me that you love me then you cut me down And I need you like a heartbeat But you know you got a mean streak Makes me run for cover when you're around ..... I'm sick and tired of your reasons I got no one to believe in You tell me that you want me, then push me around ..... Why do you have to make me feel small So you can feel whole inside? Why do you have to put down my dreams So you're the only thing on my mind? ..... I take a step back, let you go I told you I'm not bulletproof Now you know” (Taylor Swift – Tell my why) Sighh it seems like she’s writing about my life. I hate life and I hate him for making me go through this
  22. lostgirlaus
    Yeah if he wants to speak to me he knows where to find me, but it sucks knowing he won't make the effort. Ah well, I'm slowlyyyyy realizing that this was all for the best. It's the second time we've broken up, and I can definitely say it's harder this time around. Last time he broke up with me and I went into NC because I didn't want anything to do with him, this time I broke up with him and every second not talking to him hurts. I just hope maybe he will realize what he really lost one day...
  23. lostgirlaus
    Oops posted on the wrong thread thinking it was this one. Day 1 Broke up with him less than 24 hours ago but spoke to him last night regarding him getting his stuff back. I broke up with him because he was flirting with a girl and refused to admit it. I feel like I made a huge mistake even though I know it's for the best... I feel like I have a massive hole in my chest and I'm about to fall to pieces. I want him to come back and tell me he was an idiot for choosing her over me but I know he won't. His pride and ego are too big and he lack of commitment to our relationship just makes it worse. I want to go crawling back but I know I can't, it's always me trying to fix our relationship problems. He was my first in many ways and I feel like I will never be able to be with another the same way. I will eventually get over him but I can never forget him and that is going to hurt so much Just deleted him off msn and facebook too...
  24. lostgirlaus
    First day of NC, broke up with him 24 hours ago but spoke to him last night regarding him getting his stuff back. I broke up with him because he was flirting with a girl and refused to admit it. I feel like I made a huge mistake even though I know it's for the best... I feel like I have a massive hole in my chest and I'm about to fall to pieces. I want him to come back and tell me he was an idiot for choosing her over me but I know he won't. His pride and ego are too big and he lack of commitment to our relationship just makes it worse. I want to go crawling back but I know I can't, it's always me trying to fix our relationship problems. He was my first in many ways and I feel like I will never be able to be with another the same way. I will eventually get over him but I can never forget him and that is going to hurt so much
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