THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[kennyc90]

Day 1

 

Wow today was difficult. I was at home on my own all day, not a good idea I know. Plenty of time to wonder what she's doing and go over everything again in my head. The worst part is waking up early in the morning and she's the first thing that I think of. I watched a couple of films and some TV shows to try and take my mind off it. Comedy helps I feel a bit better now than I did earlier. No urge to break NC - what's the point?

I totally know what you mean, but you will eventually start getting used to it and it will be a lot easier moving on to different things rather than thinking about what your ex is doing. I still think about what my ex is doing, but now it isn't as harsh as it was 20 days ago. When I started working out and doing things I used to love such as hip hop dancing, I realized that those are huge ways of getting my mind off my ex. Yeah being alone really sucks.. you have no choice but to start thinking about your ex.

[JoshHimself]

Well, good job you guys who take this serious, and are doing it for yourself. I'm proud of you, I did this I think twice and became fed up, because in my heart of hearts I wasnt doing it for myself. Now, I'm doing the NC because its just to frustrating to speak to her, the only reason I know how many days its been since I have spoken to her is because I'm counting my days of being sober. Thats at 21, I was at like 21 before and broke it because she put out the bait and I jumped. Not this time, At 7, she tried, at 10, at 16, and havent heard anything from her since, maybe she got the point. I dont know, the last the NC started I was told to F-off, just because I was miserable she didnt have to be, blah. On 16 I'll always have a place in her heart, and I'm special to her. I would honestly talk to her right now if I felt like she had changed, and meant what she said. But I dont so I'll keep trucking along. Maybe one day I'll speak to her, but only on my terms. I really have no reason to post in here, because I'm not doing the challenge or anything. Like I said when I was counting them, it just became even more of an obsession. You guys hopefully differ from me, and are doing this post break up for the right reasons.

 

Good Job guys! Keep up the good work!

[brandnewday47]

Well small update..

 

I'm at 45 days, or 1.5 months. I am better, and very gradually getting to a place where I'm at peace again. It is not constant, but last week was the first time since before we originally broke up at the end of LAST YEAR I have felt that way, even for a fleeting moment. Hopefully these moments become more and more frequent until it is the norm. Maybe around my birthday in September... that would be a great present!

 

You all will get there, but don't rush it. If you really had your heart broken it will take time. Be patient!

 

I'm still recovering and by no means am I healed yet, but on the right path. We will get there, I will get there, and YOU ALL will get there... just be patient!

 

Take care everyone, and keep up the good work..

[Irishguy1125]

Day 16 I guess, definitely still sucks, had a few good couple of days, now I am back to feeling crappy again. I stay busy with other stuff in my life but I still think about you all the time. I feel stupid sometimes because in my mind, it is just me thinking about us. I spend my day wondering if she ever is going to call and it has been the same thing for the last 16 days, no. Haven't heard a peep from her which is total NC but it sucks nonetheless and each day of not talking to her scares me a little more when I do see her in about 11 days, what do i even say to her? hmmm

[vertigoxo]

Day 7

 

I completed one week. Still think of him. Tomorrow I will find out if either I stay here/live with my dad in Virginia, or all of us move to Texas. If it's the former, I'm going to be a little disappointed. Sigh.

 

There's so much I want to tell him, all the things I saw and read. It was so nice during our times together where I would show him pictures, videos, and writings about anything and everything, and I loved his inputs. I really miss that... I just miss having someone to talk to late at night.

[kennyc90]

Day 5

 

I started off my day going to the mall and buying some sweats I needed for dance practice tomorrow. I went to the mall with a friend I usually don't go out with. We were out going to places for a good 4 hours and headed back home. He eventually left soon after. Ever since he left, I began to feel lonely. I started to think about my ex a lot. Then I went to a dance studio for 2 hours to practice. When I went back home, I started to think about my ex once again. I'm getting mixed feelings for her. There are times when I really miss her and wonder if she's still trying to get with her rebound or if it didn't work out. There are also times when I think if trying to reconcile with her is really worth it? I really really loved this girl and have not met a girl like her from my previous ex's. I just "hope" things work out by itself.

[scotsguy]

Day 3

 

Yesterday started off really bad. Woke up with the same anxiety and worry that I have had for the last few days. I had plans to meet up with a friend in the afternoon who I haven't seen for ages. We went to starbucks and spent about 4 hours catching up. Some of the time I actually forgot about everything. It really helped to take my mind off things. Last night I was a bit down again but not as much as before.

 

Today, it's just after lunch and she's tried to contact me already. She phoned (which I ignored) and left a voicemail. Listening to it hasn't made me feel any worse thankfully. She asked if I don't answer my phone anymore. Basically she's having trouble accessing her email and wants my help. It's genuine because I have the same email and had a problem logging until I reset my password. Also she hasn't been able to sort out my things yet to give to me.

 

I clearly told her 3 days ago that we couldn't communicate anymore, I don't know why it's so difficult to understand! So the email problem isn't worth responding for, she can figure that out herself. And as for returning my things, I asked her to pass them to me through her dad.

 

Can I just ignore completely? I have to see her dad about something else in a couple of days, is it reasonable to reiterate to him exactly what I said to her, or does that count as breaking nc? I do want to get my things back though.

 

Long one today, may be some typos as I'm writing this on my phone.

[Irishguy1125]

Day 17, still sucks pretty bad. Miss her a lot, had a dream about her last night, it was a post break up dream I believe but we got a long really well and she seemed to be warming up to me again, which makes me hopeful eventhough a dream doesn't really say much more than what my mind wants I guess but still, can't wait to see her. I really want to text her on wed because she is driving home from florida and it is a 6 hour drive and we always would text when we got home safely, so I am doing my best not to break NC....

[EFromm33]

Day 18 and feeling pretty good. Keep thinking I could contact him with no problem, but pretty sure I'm still lying to myself, at least a little. So, no contact.

[SA2000]

Just found this place. Lots of good info. I just broke up with my ex of over 5 years yesterday. We closed the door on our old pad and said goodbye. She called me crying saying that she wouldnt contact me anymore. I told her that it was for the best. So this is Day 1. I have gone NC before as we have been on and off due to her being "confused". She always calls within a few days. I think this time is different though. Every time we break up she runs to this other guy who "was there for her when I wasn't". Its time to put my foot down and not allow the games to continue. We both need time to heal. I love her and honestly think that we are meant to be together whatever that means but I don't want her like this. I have to give her her half of the security deposit. Here goes nothing...

[vertigoxo]

Day 8

 

I swung by a place that him and I spent the day one time. It made me a little depressed but then I got over it as soon as I espcaped the place. Overall, things are slowly getting better... My family and I have about a week or so before we're getting kicked out of our home. For some reason, I have a feeling they're doing whatever it takes to stay here all of a sudden. It might be because if we left, my 17 year old brother will not come with us and this will break my mother's heart. So I guess they're trying to hold on (after many months of "giving up" my brother and wanting to move, but by then I was with my ex...) and it makes me even more depressed because... Well, I'll still be stuck in a place that's filled with nothing but haunting memories of my recent ex. Sigh... When am I ever gonna get a break?

[musicmancanada]

She finally told me, after being close after a year and a half, that she thinks I'm the greatest friend she has, and can talk to me about anything, but something is romantically missing.

 

I think it's pretty clear that there is absolutely no way for her to find what is romantically missing, unless I start putting myself back together from the wreck I have caused, pressuring her, to commit. She's shopping for boyfriends and friend zoning me too much, and I'm gradually slipping out of her life because I'm pestering her just to stay in.

 

I keep on trying to break the contact off civilly, but the fact is, I think I managed to finally *three times the charm* make this stick with one caveat: she's having an operation in two days, and I am going to call and make sure she is okay.. and then, vanishing.

 

It does my heart good to talk to her, she is still a wonderful friend, but I can't stomach my morals being stomped on watching her date, watching her interact with others the way I only dream she would still with me..

 

I'm angry.. she's not a beauty queen, she's not in the best of situations, and I have poured heart and soul into her life.. and she knows that.. but something romantic is missing?

 

I hope n/c may show her.. but in all respects, my life needs major improvement in the meantime, and this is the best way to stop focusing on her, and shift focus to my path forward in my life.

[kennyc90]

Day 6

 

Not much happened today. I got my tires rotated and I went to work afterwords. I thought about her a lot today before I went to work. Today at work, I had to do a lot of painting and when I was painting I kept on thinking about her. It was kinda depressing but I managed to get through it. Then when I got home, I thought about her once again. I went to the studio to practice choreo. Got my mind off of her for a little bit. Now I'm totally fine. I think about her but I'm not suffering.. my emotions are weird lately. There are times when I miss her so much and there are times when I think about her but I don't really miss her. I've made up my mind that this girl is worth fighting for though. I thought about all of this when I was painting walls for hours.

[Irishguy1125]

Day 18

 

Things have been better, day by day, the hurt of the break up goes away and I feel more empowered when I finally talk to her next week. I am very excited to see her but I am also very nervous. We left on good terms but I am now nervous how the first conversation will even go, I want to get some one on one time with her so I can see how her mood is towards me and if it is reconcilable. I miss her a lot and i feel like with each day, is she slowly forgetting me? That is probably my greatest fear right now.

[lj8490]

She dumped me after 4 years, weeks before I was going to propose. We had been LDR during the last 3 and she didn't see a future for us because of my perceived and real commitment-phobic behavior.

 

We broke up in mid-May and she wanted to remain friends. Big Mistake. While at first it was nice to hear her voice and talk to her almost as often we I used to, I eventually realized that she was getting the emotional support to pick herself up and move on while I was only getting false hope.

 

I screwed up last night and called her after NC-ing for 3 days. This time I will make it to at least a month. I did not give her a heads up that I am doing this which worries me a bit. But I hope I will be healed.

[Islandia]

One month of NC. Trying not to obsess about her very much, but it is still hard. Life does go on though, and I've been trying to get out and about more. There definitely days now where I am convinced that the break up for the best, though other days I can not honestly say I would not take her back with open arms if she came crawling back.

[SA2000]

Day 2. For some reason I seem to be getting madder and madder at the whole situation. I keep thinking about all of the stuff she was doing behind my back. She dated someone else for a few months when we broke up last year. Then when we got back together she said she was no longer going to contact him. She was basically talking to him the whole time and seeing him the whole time. She says it wasnt like that and they would talk here and there. All lies. She called me drunk the night after we broke up and asked me to pick her up. She called him while I was in the store. I came out and she was arguing with him saying she was getting a ride home from a "friend". Really? After 6 years? Ok. Im not going to be that guy anymore. Done.

[Scotty123]

Day 12

 

hmm I'm angry today and happy I walked away !

[lostnscared]

Don't know what day it is. But it's been 5 weeks since I saw you and 4 weeks since we talked. I miss you... I know your supposed to be calling me any day now--I hope we're able to work it out.

[vertigoxo]

Day 9

 

Well, it's official; I won't be moving to Texas. I have the decision to either stay here with my mom and the rest of my family, or go live with my dad to Virginia, which is 4 hours away by car. Granted, I should pick the latter... A new place means new opportunities, right? Sigh. What the heck am I gonna do over there, though?!?

 

5 more days till it'll be 2 weeks since Chris and I last spoken. Sigh...

[kennyc90]

Day 7

 

I had an alright day today. I worked out this afternoon. After that, I went to work and got off around 6pm. Today I did a lot of painting and you know how boring painting gets.. I thought about my ex some more. It seems like at night, I can cope without my ex perfectly fine, but at the same time I miss her dearly. I might contact her next week... I don't know yet. I might just go without contacting her until she contacts me. I'm getting mixed feelings on what I should do.. but after I get back from going out to sea, I might call her. We'll see how things turn out... but if I do call her, there is no way I'll be talking about the breakup. By next week, it will be 1 month of not hearing her voice or knowing what's going on with her.

[scotsguy]

Day 5

 

She called me today, blocked her number so I didn't know it was her. When I answered she said she knew I would ignore it otherwise. She wanted help with her email again, I told her to call the helpdesk. She said she is busy for the next couple of days and needs access to her email. I just told her she would need to be on campus to change it and I couldn't help her any further.

 

I am not counting this as breaking NC. If anything her calling me has helped. I am starting to lose respect for her. It makes me so annoyed that she cannot respect a simple request from me for some space. I told her she can't call me every time she has a problem.

 

What she is doing is completely unreasonable, right? She's 'busy' so calls me to fix a problem for her. I could fix it if I wanted, but I'm not going out of my way to help her. Not going to be pushed around anymore.

[SA2000]

Day 3 It's not getting easier. Rough morning. This place makes me depressed though so I probably wont be back for a while. Maybe Ill come back if we reconcile in 6 or so months with a success story. I wont count on it but it has happened before. Only to break up 9 months later due to our lack of growth as individuals.

[Irishguy1125]

Day 0

I was up to day 19 and I contacted her, we texted for a quick second, she said she was looking forward to seeing me next week. Well I am sure this will only give myself false hope which sucks but I am to doing NC contact again, 19 days was pretty impressive for me, good luck to everyone else. Slip ups do happen but just make the best of it.

[vertigoxo]

Day 10

 

4 more days till it will be 2 weeks since we last spoke. No calls. No texts. I haven't logged on AIM at all. I'm still waiting for my dad's signal for me to start packing and to move away with him to Virginia. So I guess I found a couple of interesting looking schools to go to this Fall in Virginia, so there is some hope out of this whole situation.

 

We have our TV cable back. It feels weird watching television again.

 

I feel like the whole world is attacking me and I feel like I'm going to suffocate. I hate my depression more than anything right now, and on top of that a really bruised ego and heart...

 

Sigh. I'll try and make it, though.