THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[1guygirl]

day 4 me but this morning i was actually thinkin bout the things he done to upset me and the split...none of this lovey dovey stuff....well not til later on in the morning anyway

 

feel good today...got my court papers to serve ex ex for daughter, contacted ex ex about contact with daughter even tho i know he will ignore but that will look good for me in court, got a letter to ask landlady of cottage to go direct with me, and for me them things have jus been so positive

 

still wish the bugger was here tho mmmmmwah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Loxxt]

Day 4.

 

I really want to punch my ex in the head. VERY badly.

 

I get he's self centered, doesn't want to let go or be with me, but how STUPID can a person be? I know he's getting what he wants from me: attention. Or at least WAS getting it. I hate that he gets me so f****** pissed tho. It shows he still has an effect on me. Although I know it's not just him, it's the situation. I hate when people act like this. He's just being ignorant to satisfy his own goals (delusional thoughts that I just need time and will eventually come around).

 

He is such a pain in my a**.

 

I've tried to explain myself, saying how we need to let go and move on and wishing him good luck, not mentioning a future meeting (as he seems to want because he mentioned it in his previous msg) would normally get the point accross that I don't want this, don't want to consider this. And what does he do? Say thanks and that me getting back to him means more than I know? Seriously. The more I think about it the more I want to beat him to a pulp. Although by his general reaction to my distain, he'd probably thank me for it because it's some form of attention directed from me to him.

 

I HHHHHAAAAATTTTEEE him right now. The only reason I would want to speak to him is to tell him I want nothing to do with him and to f*** off!!

[bitebenot]

Stay in nc,soon he will start to panic.Dont give in to him,let him stew for a while.He will keep on trying,its not the last.Have the last word and see what happens.Ignoring him completely is the way to go for you.He doesnt want to lose you,im sure of that.If you move on,it will drive him nuts...imagine if you had a date and he finds out ! Think about it.

[Loxxt]

Stay in nc,soon he will start to panic.Dont give in to him,let him stew for a while.He will keep on trying,its not the last.Have the last word and see what happens.Ignoring him completely is the way to go for you.He doesnt want to lose you,im sure of that.If you move on,it will drive him nuts...imagine if you had a date and he finds out ! Think about it.

 

 

When we were dating he used to comment about guys checking me out or would get quiet and then later tell me he felt jealous about me talking to a guy. He told me he was jealous towards my coworker and a few random guys we'd meet while out with friends.

 

I did just meet a guy and we're *hopefully* going snowboarding this weekend, so long as the weather's good. I'm not pushing for a relationship and don't really consider this a date but like you said, and what I know of him, I'm sure it wouldn't sit well.

 

The thing is, since he starting seeing this other girl his outlook has completely changed. He's said how he hopes I date and meet a good guy. But I'd previously told him I wasn't interested in dating so he is probably confident in saying that because I said that as well as the fact that he has someone else so he wouldn't be as bothered. But maybe I'm just assuming here...

[TearsofFate]

Day 1 starts for me tomorrow. I'm nervous about it. I can't start it today because I already talked to him today.

[Rotxsen]

Day 1

 

It's been four months I deleted her two months ago but I will not see her pictures or anything anymore I will reject all her way of contacting by trying to text my phone

and today four months ago was the day she broke up with me.

[shellykeli]

Going on seven months NC, after a nearly two year breakup. I'm proud of myself, but I still miss them very much. It's hurts sometimes still. If it's meant to be, it will be...

[minou]

Bibenot, thank you for your post. He is not my exhubby. We are still married. I will not divorce him, unless he asks me to. He most certainly does deserve my love. He is an amazing person. I hope his future happiness includes me and I am not giving up hope. I am letting go outwardly for now, however. I cannot convey how much happiness we did have in our marriage. People always thought it was like we were on a constant honeymoon. That lasted 10 solid years and is very rare. We had more happiness together than many people have in a lifetime. He did not leave me behind. I threw him out twice. The first time because of some cocaine use and behaviors were getting excessive. The second, after I found signs of cheating, which probably happened while partying when I was away for a month. To me, this is forgivable. It might not be true for everyone. However, I understand his feeling hurt at the way he was just thrown out. I didn't allow him back home and regretted it later. I have absolutely no wish for anyone else. I did try dating at one point, but there is just no way for me to love again. I am still in love. We married in 1995 and my heart just won't let go. I went 3 weeks then didn't check into this NC challenge post because I started texting him again. I am going to stop now. The lack of reply is devastating. I forgive myself for trying to reach out. I forgive him for not replying. He just doesn't want me in his space right now and I am going to respect that. I am going to be strong now and count 30 days NC.

[1guygirl]

min...yes give these 30 days to yourself, cos you deserve them as you are an amazing being also. hes had you thinkin about him for soooo long now...its about time you had a break from that cycle and have 30 days of you you you. do all the old cliches of massages and sea salt baths, pamper pamper pamper and tell yourself this is for you cos you are wonderful! I hope you stick with this min, i really do xxx

 

day 5 for me, i thought it was day 4 but hey thats good right??

 

missing him, loving him so want to speak to him about my matters going on, but i know that wouldnt acomplish anything. would love to be in a position to accept his offer to stay with him in next month or so, but we shall see. i guess i am missing the friendship part of us too. jus stickin with this nc day by day.

[minou]

Thanks 1guygirl for your encouraging words. I'll take them to heart. You sound like you're being really strong. That's great! Hang in there.

[EQIQ]

Well... I am an idiot, and here goes day 1

[kvb10]

day 27... that went by fast - actually had to count to figure out how many days it had been. and actually now it's 28 because where i am its past midnight.

 

okay sooo day 28 of NC (35 of NIC)

 

I'm actually doing pretty good. I mean, of course she is still in my mind a lot and there are times when I still get a sharp bad feeling or sadness, etc (not going to front) BUT it's not ruining my days or overall moods anymore. Basically, I am able to handle it now without having it consume me. I'm able to look at it for what it is and know that I can't change it and that I wouldn't, even if I could. I'm able to see the good in it and have stopped romanticizing our relationship and know that the split is for the best.

 

And most of the times I am in a pretty good mood. It's still dangerous for me to spend too much time by myself (for example a weekend with no plans) so I am trying to do some fun activities on the weekend and it is working out. Mind you though, i did take the first couple of weeks to grieve a lot.. and I am still grieving... but things have improved for the time being.

 

My favorite thing about NC is self reflection and self improvement. Realizing ways in which I had neglected myself and how it affected me - which I had never seen or noticed until my time alone. I'm glad for this opportunity to rediscover myself and get myself back. Hope that makes sense!

 

Sooo... yea there's hope for us all!

[kvb10]

Well... I am an idiot' date=' and here goes day 1[/quote']

 

 

you're not an idiot! Please don't beat yourself up. Everyone slips up.

[1guygirl]

well dont kvb....only 2 more days and youve done the challenge

 

EQ...youre not an idiot, youre a living being with a heart and emotions and sometimes they take over our heads. you will keep getting thrown off the horse but one time, you will manage to stay on...you get to that point

 

day 6 (seeing as its nearly midnight lol)

 

i will be working as a live in carer...tbh i hate staying over as i just think about him so much when im there. i remember when he sent me pic of himself as was in my room and i opened it and he looked beautiful on it...i was like wow!! hes lovely...such a gentle face and energy to him. ahhhhhh.

 

i jus wanna be with him, i want us to work out...spesh me and my insecurities and him meeting me half way with that. but i dunno...can that happen? dont help now hes took a job that takes up all his time and out the country on occaisions. i guess that was the decider...or was it his grand excuse

 

i shudnt think like this. i guess my thoughts have transferred back to him now that this new house looks dubious and the court case over daughter is def happening. jus wanted that house for new start for me and my children.

 

I hope the universe grants it to me....

[mwh67]

day 18 round 2

 

this gets easier and easier. definitely in the letting go stage because i can make jokes about the situation now. i think trying to contact her the first time was one of the best ideas for me because now i know for sure we wont be back together. feeling good

[minou]

I feel a lightness of spirit this morning. However, it is accompanied by the feeling one day we will be together again. All I know is, I am happier this morning, though I woke up in pain. Somehow it has eased. I don't know if it's because an hour ago I decided to go to mass tomorrow, for the first time in years. Perhaps making that decision somehow helped me just turn all this over. I actually feel cheerful! That is a first for a saturday morning in ages! Have a good day.

[vertigoxo]

Day 178

 

It's in the morning but I know for sure I won't contact him today. 2 days till I complete 6 months. Woot woot!

[EQIQ]

you're not an idiot! Please don't beat yourself up. Everyone slips up.

 

Oh lol.. trust me.. what I did this week was quite idiotic lol...

[hopelessincan]

wow. today is day 18. I didnt even intend to do it. I failed the last three times I tried to do NC. This time it just happened.

Wow. I dont even know how i feel.

I might as well go with the 30 day challenge..whats another 12 days?!

i still miss him though.

[FoundYet]

Now going into six weeks...

 

I looked him up on FB. I hadn't done that in two weeks, which was a huge step for me....but, I looked and all our pictures have finally been taken down.

 

I knew it was going to happen, mine were taken down weeks ago, but I just stared at the blankness letting that fuzzy, weird feeling go through me.

It came but wasn't jolting, then it left soon after. No tears came. It appears that I am really healing, slowly but surely.

 

Now I don't even have an excuse to look him up anymore, cause those pictures that once held me, will not be coming back. sigh.

 

Deep breath and continue moving on.

I can do this.

[celestial262]

how does it feel ? I'm not going to reply your happy birthday to me email. You'll hear nothing from me too on your birthday..that's a week from now. Now go F yourself.

[jj21]

Exactly 2 months today! Can't believe its been that long, tbh I haven't found it that hard. Sometimes I feel like contacting her but I know I actually won't. Also I sometimes feel like i'm waiting for her to contact me, I don't know why but I guess I want to know how shes getting on.... It was always one way though, I was always contacting her I don't want it to be like that. If shes that bothered about being friends she would in be touch.

[.Q.]

Exactly 2 months today! Can't believe its been that long, tbh I haven't found it that hard. Sometimes I feel like contacting her but I know I actually won't. Also I sometimes feel like i'm waiting for her to contact me, I don't know why but I guess I want to know how shes getting on.... It was always one way though, I was always contacting her I don't want it to be like that. If shes that bothered about being friends she would in be touch.

 

Two months today here as well I basically feel exactly the same as you, although i have been seriously considering contacting her for the last few days, don't know why, and don't know if i will crack or not ](*,)

[bitebenot]

You are assuming,dont forget this,hes not attached to the other girl !

You are still in between them believe it or not ! But i do agree he will try hard to forget you,can he achieve this ? Wont be an easy task ! I say that because im a man,been there done that ! And believe,it sucks big time !

[bitebenot]

KVB10,

You're doing great ! Will get better all the time.You are now in control.Excellent job my friend !