THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[BlueRizla]

If you asked me today I would have said I was over her but tonight I havent been using the force that well as I was checking my phone. God knows why..she's not going to get in touch. NC is second nature to her. She may as well have been doing it when I was in her company sometimes. I told her not to contact me so checking my phone - its totally irrational. I almost texted her but am glad I didnt as it would have been a load of drivel. NC sucks ass but it's really starting to do its work.. during the day only tho.

 

Watching Salems Lot.

[Singler]

Day 7 NC.....was feeling pretty good up until about 6pm then I cried for a few minutes and now I am just like ....numb....

[Comrade]

Day 10

 

On Friday, Aug 28, I called her and told her that I wanted NC. Before that, we had been friends since she broke up with me in July. I decided to do NC because she got a new boy friend a few weeks ago (or at least that's when I found out about it), and it was really painful to talk to her because I kept thinking about it. I think that she wanted to remain friends. Oh well, I'm doing this for myself. If she wanted to reconcile, I would be open to it, but right now that does not look likely at all.

 

Today I'm missing her moderately. I'm going to distract myself by working on homework all day, I'm really far behind.

[AutumnBorn]

I can't go NC, but don't know how effective LC will be under the circumstances. We have two children, a house, a joint account he puts money into for repairmen, extraordinary expenses, etc.

 

Tonight I told him that we couldn't spend holidays together anymore because it was just too painful for me. He actually sounded quite happy with it, saying he'd actually attempt to plan a dinner and cook it. (He's got a new girlfriend, though he says there's no "spark", and I suspect she'd be doing most of the cooking. All I've said to him is that I hope he's very happy with her, she must be special, even without the spark.)

 

Last week we instituted a policy of one day a month that he'll come to help with some things around the house that don't make sense to hire out.

 

I can resist calling, emailing, and texting, but I can't do all the house stuff by myself. Cleaning out the shed, stacking firewood, and things like that are a little below the paygrade of my $35.00 per hour handyman. My friends don't know the difference between a hammer and screwdriver and are busy with their own families, houses, and lives to come help me stack firewood. Our son is too busy working and going to school and lives further away than his father. Our daughter helps as much as she can, but I need more muscle.

 

I think about my ex all the time, of course, even though I know I'd never take him back unless he got his crap together (will never happen - he has no morals or ethics that I can find, he just uses deceptive practices to try to cover himself). He tells me I look great (it's true, I do), and sometimes appears to try to find reasons to come over, which isn't easy or cheap - I live on an island he has to take a ferry to get to. Sometimes I allow myself to think he wants to reconsider getting back together, but he never says anything and knows I won't tolerate his past behavior. There's something about him, though, that makes me want the moron. It's a flaw, but one I won't submit to it nor a reason to compromise my morals and ethics.

 

Would one day a month still make for effective LC? Opinions and advice, please.

[Nature]

Thank you lonewing. It means a lot...I try laughing at myself. It is certainly not funny sometimes!

 

I am going to the doctors today. I have developed a health problem, and I am not well. I look and feel awful today. Hardly slept at all.

 

I think enough is enough. Back to DAY 1 NC!

[lotus26]

Back to day 1 after being dumped for the second time in 3 weeks!

he begged me back, couldnt live without me, blah blah!

Stupid me for believeing he was sorry and letting him back in my life only to be dumped again 4 days later! arrgh! i could kick myself right now.

[quirky]

I think it's been about 26 days since our last contact, I didn't feel the need to post here as I knew I wouldn't be tempted to call. I have never broken NC but when he has rang obsessively I couldn't help but pick it up. This has been the longest breakup ever, we first split up one year ago..

 

I know he won't contact me again, he didn't even contact me on my birthday (i told him not to) As time goes by I'm trying to make sense of what happened, his character, my character and frankly I don't know what's real anymore. Although I'm moving on I'm finding it very hard to fully let go and consider myself with someone else.

[Comrade]

Day 11

 

This morning I was really depressed about the whole situation, I missed her desperately. I had some bad dreams about her last night.

 

By about 11:00am I started to feel much better, and I had a more positive outlook on how things were going. Right now I'm still feeling good. I'm committed to at least a month of NC at this point, though I will probably shoot for 3 before I'm ready to be friends with her again. It could be longer, though. I will see how I'm feeling by the end of this.

 

Oh wow. I caught a glimpse of my ex today, it was the first time I've seen her in two weeks. She didn't see me, and I was on my way out, so nothing happened besides seeing her. I saw her about an hour ago, and my heart is still racing. I think I dodged a bullet on this one.

[coolchick64]

Day 25

 

Crying time again . . .

[Lavender25]

Week 8.

 

2 months.

 

What now?

[ackerman]

im getting to the same point lavender, heard nothing. horrible isnt it i dont know what to do either. i know i cant contact her, she has to contact me as theres nothing i can say or do. i keep asking myself if she misses me at the 2 month stage or will she of completely moved on by now.. i just dont know but when she used to miss me she'd get in touch asap, i remember her once contacting me on all my online profiles cause her phone got stolen, which meant she lost my number too. she told me to contact her straight away but forgot to add the number for me to phone!! so i had to sit it out until she next came online, funny times.. theres her wondering why im not getting in touch lol because she didnt leave me the number!! oh god i miss her so much

[mellow]

dunno what day, maybe close to 2 weeks and a couple days *barring twitter stuff*

 

cried yesterday, dunno, just, man is there anyone we can talk to about these things. processing, processing, processing..

[BlueRizla]

up, down, up, down.

 

The reality of how long and rehashing my last email was is hitting home. Just glad I never did any begging and trying to be proud of the fact that i can show my emotions however she sees it. At least its all out.

 

I told her I was through.. I'm finding it hard to live with that right now. It said on another thread .. 'connecting but not pursuing'.. now I was doing that and then lost it..why oh why!!!!

[Comrade]

Day 12

 

Well, I'm feeling pretty good today. My ex coming over to my hall for dinner last night may be the cause of my good mood. I keep thinking that she wanted to see me, and that's why she came over. And behind all of this is the thought that she misses me.

 

Either way, I think NC is allowing me to have a fresh outlook on the relationship. I'm beginning to move past the emotionally traumatic phase of the after-breakup period. I'm noticing more things that I was unhappy with in the relationship. I'm starting to enjoy being single. But I still miss her extremely some times, and I feel lonely often.

 

I'm still open to reconciliation if she is.

[mellow]

Day 25

 

Crying time again . . .

 

Virtual hug for you

[zabeth09]

OK...Newbie here....CAn I join this late in the game?

[JonasWaingaro]

OK...Newbie here....CAn I join this late in the game?

 

Of course you can! Everyone is welcomed. Welcome to ena. Post away, it helps.

 

((hugs))

[coolchick64]

Virtual hug for you

 

Thanks Mellow. If I didn't have you guys to talk to, I don't know what I'd do. My friends are all plum worn out : )

[zabeth09]

ok...so I had contact with him yesterday via email because we have a house together in the other state. And I need to get off his cell phone plan to move on with my life since he obviously has, but how do I do it without contact now? LOL

So, do I do it via reg mail? Or do I start the NC after all this is settled. I mean I dont call him. He has been making first contact the past couple of weeks. But I reply or answer etc

[doiiiieeezie]

No contact is not for everyone. If you have matters to settle with him, then do it through limited contact. Once that is done... by all means... go NC.

[zabeth09]

awe man....I really don't want to talk to him, even through mail...LOL

I wish it could just all magically disappear along with the pain

[eikal]

I haven't posted since day 1 lol. well it's day 5 still NC. I haven't seen her at school at all except the first day i caught her staring at me . Well i'm doing ok, got rid of everything that was ours, hers, etc. I've met someone new and we are getting along quite nicely but i still do have feelings for her but i'm afraid i always will cause that's just how love is. But time will tell its tale.

[Lonewing]

I have no realized that the pain I feel si all cause by me, and thus it is time I stop that pain.

 

NC is now re-instated, after one final email during our LC stage. yes, ti was necessary. Yes, this is going to be good. I'm going much freer now.

[coolchick64]

I have no realized that the pain I feel si all cause by me, and thus it is time I stop that pain.

 

NC is now re-instated, after one final email during our LC stage. yes, ti was necessary. Yes, this is going to be good. I'm going much freer now.

 

I've been realizing that more and more myself. So much of this is self-inflicted. Not necessarily because of contact, but because of my over-the-top reactions to most of it. My reactions were learned long before I met my ex. This is a good opportunity for me to recognize them and try to get them under control.

[Havik]

Well, yesterday I gave her a necklace with our names in it. She said she wanted time to think. I am eating myself alive thinking it was all my fault.Crazy thing is, is that we made out. Im pretty sure its not another guy. She spends EVERYDAY with her best friend that moved back, like a replacement. People say just leave it alone, and she will come back. 2 yrs and 2 months of being together, and she was my fiance. 2morrow is supposed to be our 2yr and 3 months anniversary. Should I still leave her alone?